Failing big time and no friends to support me.

rainbow118
rainbow118 Posts: 95 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I have been on and off this site for a few years and all I have really done was lose a few pounds here and there and then gain it back plus some! I have put on 60lbs in the last 2yrs! I'm 27 5"4 and weigh 260 right now. I have a very active job as a CNA, I do awesome eating when I have to work, but its like the minute I get done with work I cave and eat crappy. When I don't work I plan my meals and eat fairly decent. I also try to do 30mins on my elliptical but I get discourage and have no one to talk to about this. I have very few friends. My one friend works 60+hr a week. She works at a pizza place and is trying to get her massage career going and is very busy because of it. So I rarely get to talk to her. My other friend I work with, we started out working out together at a gym but she wasn't very into wanting to workout or loose weight. Plus she is lazy and never wants to do anything to help diet or lose weight. Then their is my husband who sits on his butt eating junk food left and right, he also doesn't work and is on SS because he has a disability. He spends his entire day doing random stuff and not helping out around the house much which doesn't help my eating. I eat when I am stressed, tired or depressed. So coming home from work to a messy house which dishes and laundry piled up doesn't help. I just need some friends to help motivate and support me! I love horses and horseback riding but really want to loose the weight so my horse doesn't have to carry so much and I would love to not look so fat especially in my work scrubs!

Replies

  • Nautilas
    Nautilas Posts: 2
    Rainbow hang in there girl. Quiting food is not like drugs or alcohol where the prescription is Cold Turkey. We are tempted every day. Be strong for 1000 reasons.

    Nautilas
  • starlight682
    starlight682 Posts: 35 Member
    sent you a request :) i go back and forth with my weight to
  • summerroxygoodin
    summerroxygoodin Posts: 62 Member
    I can relate somewhat relate. I decided to get the old me back a couple of weeks ago. It's going to be tough, but stick with it. My house can NEVER stay clean, but it's a great work out when I do decide to work on it. The MFP community has helped me tons. Sometimes you just have to add some people posting on here. :) I bet they would accept a friend request.
  • Nautilas
    Nautilas Posts: 2
    Starlight what is happening in your personal life that affects how you eat. The story of the chicken and the egg.
  • Alisontheice
    Alisontheice Posts: 9,611 Member
    You can do this. Just be strong and when tempted by others around you. Otherwise exercising or eating poor choices stand your ground and don't let them tempt you. They will soon get tired of trying to sabotage. Eventually even they may get inspired. This worked this way with my husband.

    feel free to add me as a friend. I am in here everyday and can always use more friends.
  • loslunascatherine
    loslunascatherine Posts: 14 Member
    Hello Rainbow. I can empathize with you. I have friends but no one wants to exercise or help motivate me. My husband says he walked enough in the Army for 23 years and won't even take a short walk with me. I have learned if you want it you will achieve it.
    I am new on the site and need friends for motivation. Your horse is beautiful. I used to work with the wild horses here in NM. You have a wonderful reason (your horse) to lose wait and get fit. Hugs to you!
  • katiemomofthree
    katiemomofthree Posts: 1 Member
    hey there, i'm here if you need an ear. i just started doing this three days ago. and the last two days I've gone over a bit on my sugar and i'm becoming more aware of the amount of sugar i take in that i never really realized. i'm a stay at home mom with three little ones under the age of 5, the youngest being 1. and i feel tired all the time from cleaning (hahaha cleaning i pick up what i can when i'm not running around after them) and from teaching them preschool. and thinking about really diving into this just makes my head spin. with that being said... i can relate with feeling overwhelmed and discouraged. i keep telling myself that i shouldn't think about it. to just jump in head first. if you need an accountability buddy i'm soooo here for you :)
  • mspoopoo
    mspoopoo Posts: 500 Member
    I think you have to decide your really want it.

    What is your husband's disability?

    You have to decide that you are going to eat differently and no party, birthday, blue mood or anything is going to distract you.

    Eventually you will have health issues and you don't want to go there at such a young age.
  • Antonio201
    Antonio201 Posts: 9
    10. Prepare for Chaos If losing weight were easy, no one would struggle with the process. But oftentimes it’s not the diet or exercise that causes the issues—it’s life. “It’s amazing what happened when I started becoming aware of my lifestyle,” says Steve. The biggest issue for most people is usually eating habits. You don’t have to go to the extent of pre-planning your meals (although that helps), but it’s important to pre-plan what’s available. If you mindlessly eat what’s around, you’re bound to fail. Instead, clean out your pantry and only give yourself good options to prepare. It makes your job easier and will speed up how fast you see results.

    http://www.livestrong.com/slideshow/558506-12-tips-from-real-people-who-succeeded-at-losing-weight/#slide=1
  • lefreitag
    lefreitag Posts: 6 Member
    You can do it! Reach out if you need someone to talk to and support you. Sounds like you're taking care of lots of people and need to prioritize taking care of you, little miss!! I know easier said than done. Have you tried other ways to cool down after a hectic day of work? Do you snack throughout the day so you don't come home super hungry? You can, you will, girl!
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    This is about you. Stop letting the outside factors get in your way. You either don't want this or aren't ready. Don't take this the wrong way. I had a very similar list of excuses when I first joined too.
  • kregerems
    kregerems Posts: 100 Member
    Rainbow, check out my profile and add me if you want.
  • Amym26
    Amym26 Posts: 83 Member
    I can relate to a lot of what you posted (lack of close friends nearby and I also love horses!). I know it's tough but the first step is to really believe in yourself you can do this. You have to look at this positively as something that will happen and not look at all the negative in your life waiting for it to happen.

    I am not blowing smoke at you either. I have lost 79 pounds. I went through a bad break up. I lost almost everything. But I believed I could do this and would do it. And it happened. When things are going great -I work out and track my food, when things aren't going great- I work out and track my food. It's what has gotten me through my toughest times. Believe in yourself.

    Please feel free to add me if you wish.
  • Darcie45
    Darcie45 Posts: 52 Member
    HI! Would love to have you add me as a friend. My horse was one of the reasons I finally said enough. When your 1200 pound horse grunts when you get in the saddle it's a big hint. But you have to do it for you. No one else. For you because you want to look better, feel better, be less stressed. I never thought eating better and losing weight would lower my stress but it has. There is a great support group here, even if you only have a few people who comment regularly.
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,705 Member
    Rainbow- sounds like you have a full plate, great reasons, now you just need the support and commitment. My life is always crazy! My DH loves junk food. Somehow not only have I lost the weight, but he too has managed to lose almost 20 pounds just by me feeding him better! I find that if I am eating everything under the sun, it means I haven't eaten enough "good calories" and am just plain hungry. Try not to get that hungry between meals. You are doing this for YOU! If you feel uncomfortable going to the gym by yourself, then figure out extra exercise other ways. From punches in the bathroom, to jumping jacks in the stock room, to going up and down stairs whenever possible. Anything to get the heart rate up!
    This is a wonderful site. Chose your friends wisely. Support them, they should support you! Be committed and honest. You can do this if you really want it! We all have bad days, the goal is to make the good out weigh the bad!
    Sending a friend request. Accept if you wish, if not that is okay. Good luck on your journey!
  • PurpleButterflyDiva
    PurpleButterflyDiva Posts: 13
    You can do ALL things through Christ!!!! Stay positive.....add me if you want cheering for you :)
  • cuppycat
    cuppycat Posts: 29 Member
    A good step is to start adding people on MFP and reviewing their food diary's. You can get some really great ideas on some foods and exercises and work them into your day. All the work for job, horse, and around the house all add up. Just start to input what your eating and doing during the day just to see where your at. Dont make it a pass or fail thing, just monitor what your doing and slowly adjust according.

    I requested a friend invite from you if you want. :)
  • Gnaterlie
    Gnaterlie Posts: 41
    I can feel your stress just in reading your post. Everyone has said the exact same thing, stop letting outside factors prevent you from achieving your goals. Putting yourself first is very hard if it's not something you have done before.

    I too have a disabled husband who used to be less than helpful around the house. I had to have a very hard conversation with him. Yes, he is disabled but he can vacuum! He also can't drive due to his disability so I stopped buying junk food for awhile until I could control myself around it.

    We seem to be in the same little boat because I also don't have any exercise buddies in my life either. I take advantage of some really great motivator's I was lucky enough to find on here. I have a lot to lose and will be here for a long time. If you want to be friends send a request, that goes for anyone else as well.

    Good luck on your journey! You can do this!!
  • pwittek10
    pwittek10 Posts: 723 Member
    Do what you need to do for your horse!
    My husband did and he rides more than ever!
  • raptor2112
    raptor2112 Posts: 3 Member
    Most of us have lives with chaos and discouragement that can get in the way of achieving our health goals. The hardest part of making the changes to improve my health has been to deal with all these things. I try to focus on things I can change more easily first and know that I can't fix everything at one time. Over months/years I improve my habits.

    In my past I approached health as all-or-nothing. That approach failed me many times.

    I set an overall goal to lose 130 lbs but try enjoy the changes that the small steps in that direction have made. By focusing on these good things that I have already gained, I keep the incentive to maintain my health and continue to move forward when I can even during those times that I don't seem to be moving forward.
  • VelveteenArabian
    VelveteenArabian Posts: 758 Member
    You can't rely or depend on something that you need to do for you.

    Instead of grabbing a snack, grab a big jug of water and do a short workout or go out for a walk.
  • JingleMuffin
    JingleMuffin Posts: 543 Member
    You can FR me :)

    Nobody but you can put good food in your mouth or your feet on the pavement. keep that in mind.

    if you want it you can have it. you just have to want it.

    cheers
    -josie
  • mygrl4meee
    mygrl4meee Posts: 943 Member
    Hi. I do in home care for the elderly. I started out at 272 and now down 80lbs. I know it's not easy but it can be done. My husband is skinny and is known to eat crap. Sometimes I try not to look to avoid being tempted if I don't have room for it.
  • nancybuss
    nancybuss Posts: 1,461 Member
    You've already had plenty of responses, but if you want to add another friend, feel free.

    I agree with most of above. We all have a lot to deal with. When You decide what is most important, then its Important and Will be done. When that is taking care of YOU, you will.

    I'm married, have two kids that are 4 and 6, a full time job, and a second job. I work out at least 5 days a week. I've learned I Have to do it in the AM because otherwise every other excuse will get me. I will admit, those excuses still hit my eating sometimes. That IS changing though -- and will be there when I decide it HAS to.

    Nancy
  • paxbfl
    paxbfl Posts: 391 Member
    This sounds important to you. So make it a priority and do it. The lack of support from your friends and husband makes it harder but you can still do it. Last year I was 50 pounds overweight and watched my wife go to the gym. She kept going anyway, and eventually I decided I didn't want to be the fat husband. I decided to change and lost 40 pounds in 4 months. My wife showed me the way. So can you. Step up and do it, and show your friends and husband how to do it. You will inspire everyone!
  • 1longroad
    1longroad Posts: 642 Member
    Hi, I am an RN, so I know and appreciate all the hard work our CNA's do!! They areoften the only thing that makes the patient happy. ;-) Stress is great motivation to not care about eating healthy, but you have to want to be healthy, more than youwant to eat the food that is tempting you!!

    You have it within you to do this, as you are doing it for great reasons!! You want to be healthy, you want to be lighter, for your horse and you know it is time!!

    It's not easy, but nothing that is worth it, ever is!! Feel free to add me if you'd like. I am close to goal, but lowering my goal by about 5 to 10 pounds. Then I start maintenance, which I think will be even harder!! I would love to get to know you on your journey and wish you the best!!

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