Distorted view of yourself after weight loss?

MelanieRS
MelanieRS Posts: 30
in Motivation and Support
I have a quick question for everyone who has had a significant weight loss....

Do you feel the same about your looks/body as when you were at your heaviest?

To elaborate a little on that, I've lost more than 40 lbs. I can see a difference when I compare before and after pictures. I just tried on my pre-baby jeans yesterday and they fit. My oldest child is a few month shy of being 10 years old. I'm 29 so that puts me at 19 when I bought those pants (My prime!). I fit back into them after the first 2 pregnancy and now 3 1/2 years after the 3rd pregnancy, I fit in them again. This should be great news to me... Not that I'm not excited exactly, but I don't think I look good. I still feel really fat. When I look in the mirror I still feel like a blob. I've tried to talk to my family but no one understands. They tell me I look good and are very encouraging and supportive of me, but I just don't feel the way people expect me to. When I look in the mirror I see just as many flaws and issues with my body as I did at my heaviest. Am I going crazy? I'm 5' 8" weighing 158 (ish) and wearing a size 12.

I just wanted to get some feedback from anyone who has experienced what I'm going through. Advice? Thoughts? Solutions? I just want to feel good about this weight loss that I've worked so hard for. Any feedback is appreciated.

Replies

  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    Look up body dysmorphic disorder.
  • VanellopeeVonSchweetz
    VanellopeeVonSchweetz Posts: 23 Member
    Yes I am the exact same way. I have been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphic Disorder and that has a bit of a link into what you are describing. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder
    Not to say that that is what you have also, but it just lets you know that I understand what you mean to a degree. I also have a history of eating disorders that I still struggle with so it doesn't really help my case at all in that way of thinking

    I just try and rationalize things to myself. Keep in mind positive coping mechanisms in order to reinforce positive thinking. It is a struggle but you HAVE to give yourself credit for the changes you have made in your life, even when your brain is telling you that you haven't been successful. You HAVE been successful, it is just the negative thinking that is plaguing you.
    Positive coping mechanisms really help get you through sometimes. :)
  • skrakalaka
    skrakalaka Posts: 338 Member
    First of congratulations on your weight loss! That's great you fit into your old jeans and that you can see the difference in pictures. I also gained a lot of baby weight (about 50 lbs not counting the baby) and I lost it and have kept it off for the last 3 years. The problem is your brain can take a while to get with the program so you're not going crazy. I'm the smallest I've ever been and I still have moments where I feel fat, or look fat in the mirror. The good news is now I'm able to realize that it's my brain playing tricks on me and I can talk sense into myself. What I find helps is taking pictures. For some reason I look much smaller in pictures than in the mirror so if I'm really doubting myself I take a pic in the mirror to see what I "really" look like. I also recommend buying some new clothes, that seems to help a lot.
  • kittenful
    kittenful Posts: 318 Member
    Just yesterday I had a bit of a freak out moment, when I realized that the shirt/dress size I would need to order is between a S-XS. My brain revolted. It was still used to looking for measurements and needing a 2X-3X.

    What did I do about it? First, I called my husband. He told me I was being silly, that it was like saying I had too much money in the bank. He was right. I've worked HARD to get this far. I deserve to be happy.

    It can be hard to break the vicious cycle of seeing your flaws, but what helped me is telling myself that I love, honor, and cherish my body. Daily. I didn't believe it, at first, rolling my eyes every time, but it grew on me. I don't dwell on my flaws now, I have better things to do with my time.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    It can take some time for your brain to catch up with your body, when it comes to weight loss.

    For a while, I wasn't really seeing the changes. I knew they were there - the clothing was evidence of the change, but my eyes didn't see it in the mirror right away.

    Photos, on the other hand - that was a bit of a shock. All of a sudden, I saw what other people were seeing.
  • wonderiss
    wonderiss Posts: 55 Member
    I don't feel exactly the same about my body. I know I have lost weight and am much healthier. However, I definitely have a different view of myself than others. Others have told me that I need to stop trying to lose weight. That I look great. I don't see that at all! I still see disgusting fat rolls and a gut. I refuse to stop until those things are gone.
  • proudjmmom
    proudjmmom Posts: 145 Member
    What you are describing is 100% normal after loosing a lot of weight. I am 1 lb from my final goal, for a total of 90 lbs lost. I have went from a size 18 jeans and xxl shirts, to a size 4 jeans and xs/s shirts. I struggle daily with how I feel. Many days I feel gross, and fat, feels like I didn't accomplish anything. I look in the mirror and I see fat (I have some loose skin that I struggle with.) The scale and my clothes tell me otherwise. Its hard to change your mindset after being big for so long. I am really hoping that my mind catches up with me like people say it will.
  • MelanieRS
    MelanieRS Posts: 30
    Thank you all for your replies. I feel comfort knowing that I'm not alone in my struggles. I will google the body disorder thing and check it out and see if I think it applies to me. Also, I will take all your suggestions to heart and give them a try! Something is bound to work, right? Again, I truly appreciate all of your feedback!
  • xoeva
    xoeva Posts: 209 Member
    Yes, sometimes it takes longer for the brain to figure out that you have this new body...same for weight gain and weight loss (in my experience).
  • Lacey_Cakes
    Lacey_Cakes Posts: 223 Member
    I feel the EXACT same way! I was 290 lbs at delivery with my daughter (july 4th 2012) and now I'm 182 and still feel (and see myself) as heavy as the day I gave birth
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    I have lost a significant amount of weight twice: 1st time was 60 lbs. 2nd time 35 lbs. It took me about a year to really see it... and sometimes I still feel just as fat as I did when I was heavy. I'm at a healthy weight and BF% now, but we all have fat days.
  • jennielou75
    jennielou75 Posts: 197 Member
    Oooh yes. It took ages for my eyes to accept what they were seeing when I caught sight of myself in mirrors or shop windows. I do like my new body a lot more but I am not exactly happy with it. I still have a fat stomach and I have saggy skin to deal with. But at least now I look like me. I don't look like a sick person being swallowed up by fat and for that I am grateful.
  • cllmetatrsld
    cllmetatrsld Posts: 58 Member
    I weigh the same as you, about 159 but I'm only 5' 6.5" and wear size 15 pants. I don't think we're too far off from each other but you would be a little slimmer than me. I personally don't think I look good either. I am actually still considered overweight for my height until I hit 154 so I guess my feelings aren't too far off. One thing I have gathered from reading the forums is people get to their goal weight (mine is 140ish) and still don't look how they had hoped. It's not until they lift weights and lower their body fat percentage that they start to feel good. Perhaps that's what you need?
  • alienrite
    alienrite Posts: 314 Member
    I have a huge distortion between what I look like and how I feel like. My internal body image is about six months behind my body transformation...or maybe further behind. I kind of enjoy the realization of my dysmorphia because now that I can identify the feelings separately from my intellectual knowing. It does fade with time and is very common
  • LiftAllThePizzas
    LiftAllThePizzas Posts: 17,857 Member
    Looking at the BDD article, it's unfortunate the way that it is described because it makes it sound like this only happens when people are totally freaked out about it. The distorted perception can happen to anyone whose body changes significantly, including bodybuilders as well as people who lose a lot of weight.
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
    I weigh the same as you, about 159 but I'm only 5' 6.5" and wear size 15 pants. I don't think we're too far off from each other but you would be a little slimmer than me. I personally don't think I look good either. I am actually still considered overweight for my height until I hit 154 so I guess my feelings aren't too far off. One thing I have gathered from reading the forums is people get to their goal weight (mine is 140ish) and still don't look how they had hoped. It's not until they lift weights and lower their body fat percentage that they start to feel good. Perhaps that's what you need?

    Start lifting NOW. I still have a long way to go, but I look significantly different than I used to. The things that I'm happiest with, like how high and perky my rear is, how my arms are getting defined, how my calves are beginning to look, are all as much (if not more) to do with lifting than with losing weight. If I had lost 85lbs and NOT lifted, I would look very different than I do now and would not be as happy with it.

    I'm not thrilled with everything, I still have quite a bit to lose. But, it's difficult to get too annoyed with a body that is able to do what mine is.
  • wilddavid
    wilddavid Posts: 33 Member
    Yeah, I'm the same... I lost a fair amount of weight just through diet, then this year I added cardio and weights to the mix and I definitely see some results... I just see so many things to fix still! For me though it's a motivator, I know I will have to just keep pushing, pushing and pushing till I am happy with what I see!
  • rypstorm
    rypstorm Posts: 63 Member
    I can relate. I am now 40, and am much leaner, toner, stronger, smaller size, etc than when I was in HIGH SCHOOL. Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I focus of the things that i don't like (remnants of a soft belly, or whatever), and don't feel like I've lost all that weight (all said from my highest weight to now, I've lost 50 pounds).

    What I do is get clothes that fit, and when I check myself out in the mirror with and without clothes, I try to focus on the "upgrades." For example, the increased definition in arms, abs, flank, the absence of my muffin top when I wear my "thin pants", or anything else that I like. I also did a body composition testing before and after, and seeing that I went from a metabolic age of 43 down to 25, and my body fat % dropping from 32% to 17% helps too.

    I guess my bottom line is to quit perseverating on what you don't have/don't like about your body, and focus on what you have accomplished.

    Congrats on all you have accomplished!
  • a_stronger_me13
    a_stronger_me13 Posts: 812 Member
    It can take some time for your brain to catch up with your body, when it comes to weight loss.

    For a while, I wasn't really seeing the changes. I knew they were there - the clothing was evidence of the change, but my eyes didn't see it in the mirror right away.

    Photos, on the other hand - that was a bit of a shock. All of a sudden, I saw what other people were seeing.

    This. You see yourself everyday so it's hard to see the changes. Your brain will catch up, just takes some time.

    I think the term body dysmorphia gets thrown around a little loosely these days much like every other catch phrase associated with dieting and fitness.
  • Ejourneys
    Ejourneys Posts: 1,603 Member
    After weight loss, it takes time for the mind to catch up to where the body is. This is normal. That said, the body goes through all sorts of changes as one ages, regardless of diet and exercise.

    This is the line that caught my eye, though: "When I look in the mirror I still feel like a blob."

    With respect to weight and weight loss, the most important thing I ever did for myself was learn to love my body, no matter its shape. To do that, I stood naked in front of a full-length mirror every day and truly looked at myself -- not to criticize or find flaws, but to accept and love every single inch. In the beginning it was very, very hard to do, and took a lot of unlearning of old, toxic habits. But it was so very worth it! That was more than 35 years ago.

    Even at my heaviest I still loved my body, but I also recognized I had to take better care of it. It's where I live, literally. It keeps me alive. How can I not love it?

    Congratulations on all your hard work and getting where you've gotten. Wherever you go from here, you are right where you need to be.
  • cenafan
    cenafan Posts: 398 Member
    This is a major problem for me. I still see myself the old way. I took pics during this process every 10 pounds. It has really helped to show me how far I've come. But it's still really hard some days. I still gravitate to plus size clothes. I still fear airplane seats. It's strange. I have a hard time when everyone tells me how great I look. I see myself in the mirror...there is still SO much work to do. Clothing hides a multitude of sins. LOL
  • eileen0515
    eileen0515 Posts: 408 Member
    Do I have a distorted view of myself after my weight loss? Yes.

    I am 5'9" and have lost 65 pounds. I weigh 152, trying to get to 145 then maintain.

    My distorted view is shock and amazement when I catch myself in a mirror, say at the mall. Sometimes I want to cry with joy, how freaking awesome I look. It makes me so proud of my achievement. My mind still has not caught up. Actually I kind of hope it doesn't. Those moments of "wow, you look good self" are very rewarding. It's not just my vanity that gets a boost. It is my visual representation of determination, follow through, and doing a very good job at something.

    Do I see the flaws and bits of weird loose skin? Yes, but I just think, "how interesting". For some reason, they do not bother me. Life is too short to chase perfection.

    Please if you have lost a lot of weight. You have done something that is very, very difficult to do. Be proud, accept the changes good and bad.
  • cherryberryred0
    cherryberryred0 Posts: 26 Member
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