Parenting about Healthy Eating

One of the problems I faced is that my son was very underweight and they talked about healthy eating at school and my tiny 6 year old tells me that he shouldn't eat fatty foods or too much meat, because it is not healthy. The problems was that he actually didn't take in nearly as many calories as he should have and it caused endless strive trying to get him to eat more. Add to that severe food allergies and I was extremely cross at the 'healthy eating education'. I am lucky that we now only have the anaphylaxis to dairy left and that he has bulked up a bit.

In short I think the way you talk to your children is dependent on the child and should be modified according to their age and needs. One issue to keep in mind is that some kids gets chubby before they hit a growth spurt and that too much focus on weight rather then activity and overall health can be detrimental to them as well. There are a lot of conflicting messages out there (fat/sugar/carbs phobia) and add to this all the body image issues, and it is a minefield for kids.

I personally resolved to leading by example, I won't demonise any food, but I won't serve everything every day either. We do family days out that are active and generally accommodate any wishes for activities the kids have.

Bump! This is an interesting topic and I'd love to see some responses from other parents.

Talk about food just the same as you do about everything else. Explain without lecturing when asked why you're eating x rather than y. Don't evade issues. The best place to discuss stuff is around the table when eating.

My three oldest are interested in food and the benefits of a good diet.. We have lots of dietary restrictions so they tend to be more aware of what goes into stuff. They have been taught that any food is OK but some are better in small portions because of the fat or sugar content. We also like to try new foods and the kids love trying new recipes.

The kids have seen me get fitter over the last year and it has inspired them to also tag along. My 14 year old ran the Color run with me this year and is doing a Spartan with me next year. My other son(9) ran the kids Spartan and my daughter(8) is running a xmas 5K with me along with the 14 year old.

My 14 year old has also become my running partner as he understand that although he wants to play the XBOX all evening its not too good for him and it will also help him concentrate at school etc better.

What is a healthy way to parent in order to prevent eating disorders?

I don't parent "to prevent eating disorders", I parent to grow smart, independent kids who can make their own decisions.

How do you talk to your kids about food?

Not sure I understand the question - it seems to imply that talking about food/diet is somehow different than talking about the billion other issues parents need to talk to their kids about. "These are your choices, these are the likely consequences..."

They see me weigh all my food and track everything - they know why I do it - they see the results...parenting by example, there is no more powerful method...

Do you introduce the topic of calories and or fat?

Absolutely, yes. Eldest recently asked if we could help her maintain a food diary.

Do you talk to your kids about exercise, etc.

Absolutely, yes.

Parenting is a lot more than talking. You can say anything you like to your kids, doesn't mean they'll take a blind bit of notice, but what they experience day in and day out will shape the person they become and the opinions they hold.

Breastfeeding - and probably particularly 'demand breastfeeding' - reduces the risk of obesity in later life. Actually it reduces the risk at 1 year of age too! Sounds contradictory really that not knowing how much they're having and letting them control it themselves reduces obesity. But it does. Babies are born with the ability to control their appetites - to stop eating when they are full and to go for 2 or 3 meals (sometimes 2 or 3 days!) eating very little but then adjust for it in the next meal/ day.

As a parent, it can be very very easy to over-ride that. To encourage the baby to finish the bottle or have the last 2 spoonfuls of purée because we don't want to waste it; to enforce clearing of plates; to encourage clearing of plates with the promise of pudding. Sometimes these temptations are irresistible.

So, what have I done? Well, both mine were demand breast-fed. The second one we did Baby Led Weaning, which basically means that you never feed them purées and you never spoon-feed them. From 6 months, we put solid food in front of him - initially in the form of big chunks he could hold in a fist - and let him get on with it. One of his first solid meals was roast beef - he didn't swallow a lot, but he gnawed on that chunk of beef for about 20 minutes! Over time, he managed to eat more and he breast-fed less. We controlled what he was offered, but he was in complete control of whether, what and how much of it he ate.

We try very hard not to encourage the finishing of savoury in order to get sweet, but it's hard to be honest. They do know there isn't pudding ŵith every meal (apart from fruit- they can always have that). A particularly nice/wanted pudding will probably be after a meal we know they will happily eat - I really don't want to bribe them to eat something they don't want to get the thing they do.

We give the kids what we eat. And if they don't want it, they don't eat it. But there is nothing instead.

We insist that they try new foods or vegetables that they 'don't like' every so often, but we don't force them to eat all of it.

None of this is 'talking about nutrition', but it is 'parenting for healthy eating'.

We do also talk about nutrition, usually in the context of books. The 5 year old wanted 'Why do we eat' for his bedtime story tonight (and Usborne book, one of his most frequent requests!). It explains about protein, fat and carbohydrate (including the distinction between starches and sugars) aswell as vitamins and minerals. It also has a page on 'junk food' and why it's not good to have too much (rots your teeth, makes you fat).

We do talk about exercise too, but more importantly we give them the opportunity to have lots of exercise. They both go to swimming lessons, have bikes which we take them out on, get taken for walks etc.

I have two girls that are 4 and 6. I address it like this:

Some foods are all the times foods: Fruits and vegetables (they are allowed to get these any time they are hungry)

Some foods are most of the times foods: Meats, cheeses, whole grains, pretzels, cereals, nuts (they have to ask for these if it's not at a meal time but most of the time I'll say yes)

Some foods are sometimes foods: Sugary cereals, candy, chips, ice cream, other desserts (these are foods that are only given as desserts or occasional treats. These are limited.)

They know that all food gives them energy but the all the time foods and the most of the times foods are better choices because they give them nutrients AND energy. They also know that if they eat too many sometimes foods they won't have enough room for the other foods and won't get enough nutrients.

Pretty much this for me.
My kids are 8 and 2. I don't mention it ALL the time, and I can only recall the conversation with the 8 year old once or twice maybe. But they can see all the healthy snacks around, and will generally go for those. Sometimes they want the junk snacks, and I don't mind them having them - providing a meal isn't coming up within the next hour.
If they don't want food - it's very rare they get anything else. I don't advocate the empty plate thing since their stomachs are a lot smaller than ours, but they do have to eat a fair bit of it to get something else.
The eldest knows that the more you move, the more fuel you burn that needs to be replaced with good foods, so as a family we encourage activities that get us up doing things.
It's a lot easier to show children how to deal with health than it is to dictate what they do. Restrictions, or no limits on foods will often end up with the problems later on in life.

We actually ask our kids to finish their dinner if they want dessert. Because if they are full, they don't have room for dessert anyway. We give them small servings though (really, the size of their fists). Frankly it's the only thing that's worked to get them to try new things. They eat everything at dinner now because of it... but we don't make them finish if they're really not hungry. And sometimes they'll actually ask for seconds.

I was against it at first because I didn't want them to expect dessert all the time, but I have to admit that it's worked really well to make them try new things. If they really don't like it, we just ask them to have a bite. And they don't get dessert on days when they had too many sweets anyway.

My problem with that, is that I suspect my eldest, at least, would eat the pudding even if he was full, and what I really don't want to do is teach them to eat when they're not hungry - because that's what I do.