I need some support today.

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lina1131
lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Morning,

I need some support today. If you keep up with my weightloss, you will notice my siggy today and that I have lost another pound. I'm supposed to be happy about this, right? Well, I am, but then in the back of my head i'm just scared. Ask me why? Okay well i'll tell you. My problem area is my stomach. After I had Lilliana and the c-section, my belly flaps over, and i'm not kidding (and it's not fun admitting this either) but it flaps over and it's gross. I am working so hard to lose this weight, yet I feel like once I DO lose the weight, i'm going to be left with a flap of skin. I'll never have the flat stomach, and I really don't care about a FLAT stomach, but I don't really want that extra skin flap. Is there any hope that the flap of fat will get smaller?

I know that Sal (MY DH) would never go for me having a tummy tuck. Plus, we probably can never afford it.

I'm just so worried that i'm working so hard on losing all this weight and at the end, I still won't be happy with my body because i'll have that gross fat flap still.

I want to sit here and cry. :sad:
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Replies

  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Morning,

    I need some support today. If you keep up with my weightloss, you will notice my siggy today and that I have lost another pound. I'm supposed to be happy about this, right? Well, I am, but then in the back of my head i'm just scared. Ask me why? Okay well i'll tell you. My problem area is my stomach. After I had Lilliana and the c-section, my belly flaps over, and i'm not kidding (and it's not fun admitting this either) but it flaps over and it's gross. I am working so hard to lose this weight, yet I feel like once I DO lose the weight, i'm going to be left with a flap of skin. I'll never have the flat stomach, and I really don't care about a FLAT stomach, but I don't really want that extra skin flap. Is there any hope that the flap of fat will get smaller?

    I know that Sal (MY DH) would never go for me having a tummy tuck. Plus, we probably can never afford it.

    I'm just so worried that i'm working so hard on losing all this weight and at the end, I still won't be happy with my body because i'll have that gross fat flap still.

    I want to sit here and cry. :sad:
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    Hey Lina!! I can definitely relate! I have that same c-section scar and flap!! BUT, as I have lost I do notice my stomach is bouncing back better than I had thought it would. I mean, it will never be perfect....but..I don't know. I just try not to think about all these things that can be WRONG at the end and just focus on the positive things, which greatly outnumber the negative. Ok, so maybe you can't wear a bikini...but focus on a sexy one piece that cuts out in OTHER areas!! :wink: I have thought that after I have my 2nd child (whenever that is), that I would look into a tummy tuck. Who knows though!

    I know some women who have said their stomachs after c-section get to be OK but there is always that area around the scar that is iffy...just focus on doing a lot of cardio to burn the fat all over and then focus on ab work....especially lower abs...that would be your best bet to getting it as small and back to normal as possible.

    I feel your pain though!!!!! HUG!!! :flowerforyou:

    :heart:
    -Tam
  • annmarie4ever
    annmarie4ever Posts: 31
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    I feel your pain. I had Gastric Bypass and now I have a ton of skin. Especially my stomach. People still think it is fat because it has no where to go. It mkes me soo mad but you either work on it,live with it, or have a tummy tuck. No other things to do.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Thanks ladies.

    Please don't get me wrong, I don't want this perfect body. I don't care to wear a bikini. I just hope it gets smaller and that I'll be able to wear nice fitting clothes without having loose skin in the way.

    There is no way i'm stopping this now. I am determined to reach my goal. I'll just keep working really hard and see where I get as far as the belly is concerned.

    I appreciate the support. I totally need it today.
  • Skittles6617
    Skittles6617 Posts: 247 Member
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    I have the same thing. I had a C-section with my daughter and i too have the flap starting where the scar is. What happens is sometimes when that muscle is cut it cannot form back correctly or as tightly and unfortunately no matter how many sit-ups you do, if it does not get any tighter, the only thing you can do is have a tummy tuck. It is not so much a cosmetic surgery for this reason as it is a reconstructing because of the damage. I have alot of lower back pain because my muscle will not tighten up in that area and it therefore pulls on my spine, so I will be having the surgery after I lose some weight. Can we say Credit Card? LOL It usually costs about $5000. But hang in there, keep your goals set and then when you get to a point and you are still unhappy , just see what a dr. says about tightening up your stomach muscles. There is hope, i promise!! :flowerforyou:
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Also, I mean i'm not done having kids. I want another one and if I get to goal and then have another one, BAM there I go again with flapnation. I really need to be thankful for my life and stop focusing on the negative crap. There are people out there that don't have water to drink and food to eat, and here I am crying about a flap of skin. I suck. :sad:
  • muhshell
    muhshell Posts: 10
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    hey i know exactly what your going through! i had 2 pregnancys and my last pregnancy ended up a c section with twins i defently know about the flap! i do hear its hard to get rid of it but i beleive its possible with the dedication you put into it. Good luck
  • banks1850
    banks1850 Posts: 3,475 Member
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    Lina,

    I feel for ya, obviously I don't have any idea what that is like, but I do know that you are young enough and your skin is most likely still elastic enough that it will snap back on it's own, mostly at least. Give it time, it can take a year or so for this to happen. If after that you still don't feel comfortable with it, then you may want to consider having something done professionally.

    Question, why won't your husband go for the tuck? It's not like it's a vainity thing, you have a very legitimate reason to want it. Personally I feel that there is a big difference between vainity and boosting one's self-image. I can understand the money aspect, but other then that, I can't see why this would be an issue. Maybe you are under estimating his compassion for your situation? Have you guys spoken about it in the past?
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
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    Also, I mean i'm not done having kids. I want another one and if I get to goal and then have another one, BAM there I go again with flapnation. I really need to be thankful for my life and stop focusing on the negative crap. There are people out there that don't have water to drink and food to eat, and here I am crying about a flap of skin. I suck. :sad:

    No, you don't suck! It's called being human! Trust me...we all have the same thoughts. Like I said, I do TRY to just focus on the positives...wearing cute clothes, being healthy, more energy, etc etc....and not let the c-section flap get to me so much. You will be ok!! :) And we are here for you! :heart:
  • tanzmamma
    tanzmamma Posts: 368 Member
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    Hang in there........ as you lose weight it will get smaller probably wont go AWAY but will be smaller.

    Keep it up though because even if you have a tummy flap ... you're going to be healthier!
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Lina,

    I feel for ya, obviously I don't have any idea what that is like, but I do know that you are young enough and your skin is most likely still elastic enough that it will snap back on it's own, mostly at least. Give it time, it can take a year or so for this to happen. If after that you still don't feel comfortable with it, then you may want to consider having something done professionally.

    Question, why won't your husband go for the tuck? It's not like it's a vainity thing, you have a very legitimate reason to want it. Personally I feel that there is a big difference between vainity and boosting one's self-image. I can understand the money aspect, but other then that, I can't see why this would be an issue. Maybe you are under estimating his compassion for your situation? Have you guys spoken about it in the past?

    My husband, ahhhh, my husband.

    Sal thinks I am like the most beautiful person in the world. He thought so when I was 207 pounds and he still thinks I am at 175 pounds. Even when I was at my heaviest at 207 he never once commented on my weightloss. Ever. When I told him I wanted to lose weight he fine with it, but never really was excited about it because to him he says "I didn't marry you for your weight. I love you and think you are beautiful just the way you are".

    One time I mentioned the tummy tuck as a joke to see how he would react and he acted like it was the stupidest idea ever.

    Now don't get me wrong, when I tell him i'm down another pound he'll say "Great Job" and he's happy, but to him it's like not a big deal that i'm losing weight, I guess. I don't know.

    I'm just so damn emotional today. Someone slap me.
  • Skittles6617
    Skittles6617 Posts: 247 Member
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    I think he cares..Men just don't know what to say alot of the times. They want to be excited for you when you lose the weight, but then again, if you stop losing the weight, they don't want you to feel bad, so they just don't act excited. Make sense??? Just like when we cry, they just all of a sudden forget what to do.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Yeah, he's probably worried that if he gets too excited i'd slap the crap out of him for thinking I was fat before. :laugh: They can't ever win, can they? :bigsmile:

    He's on my shyt list today anyways!

    Last night I was getting Lilliana's pajamas and something got in my eye and I swear it felt like someone was stabbing my eye with a knife. The only thing I could do was drop her PJ's and I swear the pain was so bad that I dropped to the floor and said "Oh my god honey, my eye hurts so bad" and I was trying to move my contact around but I couldn't because I couldn't even open my eye because it hurt so bad. Well, Lilliana got a little scared because she never sees me freak out like this.

    While i'm dying on the floor thinking my eyeball is going to fall out, my dear sweet husband is getting pissed off at me for scaring Lilliana. He grabs her, and says to me "You are scaring her" and right after he said that I managed to get my contact out and the stabbing sensation went away and I said "I'm so glad that is all you care about while my freakin' eye was falling out".

    I mean I'm so happy that he loves our daughter beyond belief, but COME ON, MY FLUCKIN EYEBALL WAS FALLING OUT. Can't he show a little concern? WTF?

    I am SOOOOOOOOOOO PMSing.
  • diannholland1965
    diannholland1965 Posts: 782 Member
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    Well I do not think you need to be slapped.
    BTW, unless they botched up your C there is no reason why that will not go away as your tummy gets stronger.
    Now depending on how strong you want your tummy and abs will depend on how it looks when you are done. Well DONE is not the right word because we are NEVER DONE! but still.
    I know it is hard but try to look at it as a reminder of the day that you where blessed with a child.
    Take special care of that area.
    kinda like spot reduction. Instead of hating it enjoy it and use that as you goal indicator.
    the less the flap, the closer you are.
    See you on the floor with the crunch sets! :wink:
    1 - 2ooo - 3eee- 4 - 5 - Ooooooo 6 - Eeeeeee7 - 8 - niiiiiiiiiiiiineeeeee - 10! Weeeeeeeeeeeee
    :wink:
    --Diann...
  • ShellyBee
    ShellyBee Posts: 117
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    Good Morning,

    I am a mother of 3 children ages 8,6, 10months. I know what you are talking about. I did not have a c-section but I did have very large babies. 9lbs 3oz, 9lbs 15oz, 10lbs 10oz, and I know first hand that the body can only stretch out and spring back so many times. I have a flap of skin as well in the tummy area that is very unflattering. I do not yet know if this will go away with weight loss as I am just starting and have only lost 12lbs. I have heard that sometimes after a section that some women do experience the problem you are describing. Unfortunately we women have to bear the effects of child birth and it isn't always pretty. I know it will be hard but maybe just be proud of it and wear it as an honour that you gave birth to one of the most beautiful children the world has ever seen. Being a mother comes with sacrifices for sure but at the end of the day when they look at you with those eyes that love so unconditionally it makes it all worth it. Good luck to you and I wish you and your family the very best life has to offer.
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    Good Morning,

    I am a mother of 3 children ages 8,6, 10months. I know what you are talking about. I did not have a c-section but I did have very large babies. 9lbs 3oz, 9lbs 15oz, 10lbs 10oz, and I know first hand that the body can only stretch out and spring back so many times. I have a flap of skin as well in the tummy area that is very unflattering. I do not yet know if this will go away with weight loss as I am just starting and have only lost 12lbs. I have heard that sometimes after a section that some women do experience the problem you are describing. Unfortunately we women have to bear the effects of child birth and it isn't always pretty. I know it will be hard but maybe just be proud of it and wear it as an honour that you gave birth to one of the most beautiful children the world has ever seen. Being a mother comes with sacrifices for sure but at the end of the day when they look at you with those eyes that love so unconditionally it makes it all worth it. Good luck to you and I wish you and your family the very best life has to offer.

    Thanks ((hugs))
  • peej76
    peej76 Posts: 1,250 Member
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    Ahh, Lina, sorry about your night:flowerforyou: As for the skin issue, I've had three kids and I have some unattractive flappy skin too, but I think with all of our hard work and determination we can surely make it much less noticeable if not zap it away forever!! Hope you're feeling better!
  • EllaBella
    EllaBella Posts: 140
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    I too have had a C-section, but only with my first child, the other two after her were normal births, so there may be hope that if you do have another child it could be a natural delivery. I also have a flap of skin around my scar area but when I lost my weight I could still wear a bikini, just a higher rise one, not one of those skimpy low rise high leg bottoms! I also had to start wearing an underwire swim top--another joy of childbirth:laugh: There was a woman that I worked with and she is tiny---I mean tiny. Anyway, she had a C-section and was bound and determined to lose her flap. She was crunching like crazy, eating very healthy, running, the works. After a very committed 6 months, she still had her flap and was depressed--HOWEVER--she looked great!! She could wear the latest styles, slim fitting tops, etc. the works and she looked great. I think we notice things WAY more than the average joe:laugh: Enjoy your little miracle that you have, and also the "battle scars" you have (I also have tons of stretch marks--tanning seems to make those look better:wink: ). God is good and has blessed you!
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
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    My belly is like a road map of stretch marks. :laugh:

    I am not a bikini wearer. Even when I get to goal, I will not wear a bikini. My husband is the only person allowed to see dem parts. I wear a one piece of a swim skirt.
  • Katy009
    Katy009 Posts: 579 Member
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    Wow....I was just feeling rotten about the same thing today. I had a c-section and have a poof that just will not go away. Not to mention, my stomach has a huge tattoo on it and when they sewed me back together, she did it crooked! LOL. So needless to say, the part I hate most on me is my belly. I think my bikini wearing days are over, unless I want to scare all the children at the beach away (and probably most of the men, too).

    Sometimes I just have to think about why the poof is there and that I wouldn't trade it for anything...that can USUALLY get me feeling better. I don't want the perfect body either, but not having my tummy hang over my pants would be nice :)

    I hope you can take comfort in knowing you are not the only one! And I hope you feel better soon!

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