Am I being too sensitive?

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JessH0204
JessH0204 Posts: 47
in Motivation and Support
I will start with some background, I am 27, married, three kids (ages 5,2, and 7 months). I started my weight loss journey in September at 153 lbs (I am 5'2) and I am sitting at 134 right now. I see a weight management doctor and take prescription diet pills, some of you may not agree with that but everyone has their own story. I don't have much time to work out due to being a very busy stay at home mommy. I am just now getting more comfortable in my own skin and gaining some confidence back! That being said, my husband asked me tonight when I was going to start working out. He went on to explain that I had lost weight and that was good but he was used to me being more muscular and I was soft now. All I heard was "What you have accomplished is not good enough". Am I being overly sensitive?

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  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
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    You are being overly sensitive and you know it.

    You've achieeved a lot of weight loss in a short time - for which, well done, even though I cant approve of pills. I'm your height, started at the same weight, but it's taken me over a year to get to 133 pounds.

    But as all the advice you'll read about losing weight slowly will tell you, the downside of quick weight loss is that you'll have lost muscle.

    The good news is it doesnt take hours and hours in the gym to do a bit of weight/ strngth trainiing. Jillian Michaels 30 day shred can be done in 20 mins, doesnt have to be done every day. If that's too much time, start with 2 sets each of 20 squats and push-ups.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    yep. you're projecting our own issues on to him. you heard something that he clearly didnt say which isnt fair to him either because that means you aren't really listening.

    and congrats on the weight loss, but like melanie said, with that quick weight loss you lost muscle. regardless of whether or not that's what you want the hear, that's how human anatomy works when you lose close to 20 pounds in 2 months.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
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    He just probably thinks it's a better idea than just losing more weight. No biggie :) It's not his decision, so make your thoughts on the matter clear, imho. If you don't want to work out, you are a big girl and can decide that for yourself. But I wouldn't get sensitive about him pushing for it a little.

    It does depend on his attitude about it and other things, too, of course. There is a difference between helpful pushing and being a pushy jerk. You know him better than us, so you'd know better whether he's trying to cross the line (like passive-aggressive, I mean) or just being supportive, really. A little push is what I like, so he sounds cool with me from the info given :)
  • agcarden1
    agcarden1 Posts: 35 Member
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    Men can sometimes come across as being insensitive to things that really matter to us. Chances are, however, that he did NOT mean it in a negative way, but just wasn't good enough with his words to say it in a way that sounds encouraging instead of demeaning. When he asked when you are going to start working out again, its quite possible he was just curious when you would be going to the gym again (maybe you used to enjoy it and he wants you to do things you enjoy). The second sentence about you not being as muscular was probably his attempt at covering up the fact that the first statement could have come out of his mouth wrong (not the best cover up though!). Have you told him how that statement affected you? Does he even know that he has offended you? What would you have rather him have said? If you believe that he is generally a good-willed man, then give him the benefit of the doubt that he didn't mean it to hurt you. You don't know unless you talk about it though. Hope this helps! :)

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