So depressed :(

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Replies

  • mroesi1
    mroesi1 Posts: 3
    Well, you certainly have support here!!! I think you should tell him how is negativity affects you!!
  • BeckyGee84
    BeckyGee84 Posts: 124 Member
    I can't believe the one person who should be supporting you the most would say terrible things like that :( He probably feels threatened by your success, maybe he is worried about all the attention you will receive from other guys once you reach your goal! My boyfriend is extremely observant and will notice when I lose even a few pounds. He's really supportive though and still thinks I'm attractive. I hate the way my body looks right now- I had my daughter 9 weeks ago so I'm just getting back into dieting and exercise again. You should let him know how you feel when he says things like that. Guys can be really insensitive and maybe they don't even realize what they're saying.
  • marsellient
    marsellient Posts: 591 Member
    Fill a sack with 46lbs and make the miserable git walk around with it on his back all day. Preferably whilst doing the housework whilst you put your feet up. I'm sure when he takes it off he will realise just how fantastic you feel and how much work went into getting rid of it.
    Love this idea, but not likely to happen. How about putting a 50 lb (you are so close!) bag of something (like rocks!) somewhere as a visual for yourself, so you don't lose sight of what you've achieved. If he asks what it is, just smile and explain that you wanted a reminder of how far you've come. Perhaps he'll try to move it. :bigsmile:
  • hayleydawn62
    hayleydawn62 Posts: 3
    He is probably feeling insecure as you are looking good. He is afraid other men will look at you. He is trying to put you down so you don't feel confident. Basically he is afraid that you are going to run off with another man now that you are looking more attractive due to your weight loss.
  • Kevalicious99
    Kevalicious99 Posts: 1,131 Member
    Just an observation .. but many men are very uncomfortable with their wives getting all skinny and hot cause they are worried that they will leave them .. for a young hot guy with abs.

    I don't think I am that far from reality with this.
  • aklove907
    aklove907 Posts: 118 Member
    Keep doing what you are doing hun. He is just feeling bad because you are getting hot, and people are noticing you look so good! DO NOT let him get you down! If anything, use it as more motivation to lose even more!! You ROCK!
  • QuilterInVA
    QuilterInVA Posts: 672 Member
    Since he sees you every day, he may not really notice how much you have lost because it has been a subtle change for him.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Tell him his statements hurt your feelings. Don't play passive aggressive games like The Silent Treatment.
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Just an observation .. but many men are very uncomfortable with their wives getting all skinny and hot cause they are worried that they will leave them .. for a young hot guy with abs.

    I don't think I am that far from reality with this.
    my husband likes me looking stronger, slender, and hotter!
  • TJDeacs
    TJDeacs Posts: 1
    He is a sabotager and it sounds like you looking better is making him feel insecure, so he is bringing you down to his level. When he says remarks like that, just reply with, "oh well, I feel better so thats the important thing." If he sees his comments have gotten to you, he wins. You will meet many people along the way like this, I call them the "just one wont hurt" people. Keep going, you can do this, and you can get over ANY obstacle :)
  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
    don't feel bad... My husband says the same things to me.. but he also tells me that I can't wear shirts that I have cuz they din't fit when they really do but they rise up when I'm holding my kids or bent over to pick something up... don't stress over something he says.. I sure don't when my husband says something smart @$$y.. you have lost 46lbs be happy for your self... don't stop now keep your head up.. BTW congrats on the weight lose

    If that is the answer, why even be married? I don't get how why one of you ladies would take that from the man that is supposed to love you more than anyone else...barring any kids.

    I say DO WORRY about it by promptly kicking him straight in the nads.

    I've been with my husband a total of 8 years with to kids... if I would listen to half the **** he says to me thats smart assy then we wouldn't be together... I have learn from men who have hurt me in the past to not take **** but when it comes to a fight in my home its better to just keep my mouth shut cuz I don't need my kids hearing me fight with their dad.. I know it sounds stupid but it is the way it is.. plus I'm not losing weight for him I'm doing it for me..

    Ooh, this hurts my heart! So your kids are learning 'it's okay for spouses to treat each other disrespectfully' and 'wives shouldn't push back when husbands say hurtful things'?

    I'd say it would be MUCH better for them to see safe and respectful ways of discussing and negotating differences. It's not like the only two options are a) put up with cr*p or b) have an out of control screaming fight!
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Since he sees you every day, he may not really notice how much you have lost because it has been a subtle change for him.

    This, or the fact that he is a guy. It would have to gain or lose 50 pounds overnight for my husband to really notice. He's noticed I'm stronger and that my glutes look Perrier from all those squats. I doubt he noticed the lost weight.
  • Rockstar_JILL
    Rockstar_JILL Posts: 514 Member
    I think he is insecure and doesn't want you looking all sexy. He does't like the attention you are getting. If you love this man, and he loves you, then reassure him, but tell him how it hurts you. If he still doesn't support you, then you need to worry about yourself and just do what makes you happy.
  • Jaxamour
    Jaxamour Posts: 32
    I'm so sorry to hear how hurt and angry you are. Sometimes the people closest to us forget how deeply their words can cut us. Can you write your feelings down in a journal and let him read it?

    I really hope you are able to find a way to show him what this means to you and what it would do to your confidence to achieve your goal.

    Be strong, you've done so well so far - it's clear you have the strength to succeed on your journey.

    Good luck x
  • ILoveBreakfast671
    ILoveBreakfast671 Posts: 76 Member
    Don't let your husband get you down lady! We always look for support in the people around us in our lives but they don't always understand. If he's not on the same road as you to be aesthetic or healthy then he doesn't know what you're going through and he doesn't know what you feel when he says that stupid ****.

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