Today I Saw My Body for the First Time

slow and steady wins the race, don't try to speed up your weight loss to the point were you starve your body. 800 calories is not enough. to keep your body running. Just keep short term goals and take on them one at a time. you WILL see results

...and I kind of want to die. Not literally die but maybe start over? I know I'm obese, but, I took a video of myself today walking around and doing things in the kitchen out of curiosity and I had NO idea I am as big as I am. I'm on verge of cutting out food altogether, dropping my calorie goal to 800, and ordering another bottle of Hydroxycut. I just want to drop forty lbs so I can look at myself and then start trying to be healthy. I'm so embarrassed. I've /flirted/ with guys while looking like this. I'm just... this is something I could have gone a long time without noticing.

This isn't even a question I guess this is just the most anonymous place I can vent.

don't go to the extremes. It sounds like you are having the kind of moment that I had at the beginning of my journey. Mine was a friend posting a pic from her daughter's birthday party, and I was in the background looking like jabba the hut. I kept the shirt I was wearing in that pic, and I put it on monthly and take a picture.

the picure on the left was my life changing moment, and the picture on the right is just a few months ago

Untitled by crochetmom2010, on Flickr

as for guys, the right one won't *see* your physique, he'll just see what is inside. When I first started at the gym, 85+lbs overweight, the super hot trainer took notice of me. I still don't understand what Justin saw in me, but over about 18 months we became SUPER tight. He has been my biggest cheerleader, even bigger than my husband!

I agree with some of the other posts. Don't lower your calories so low. You are a beautiful girl and you have already been successful with your 10 lb. loss. Keep up the good work. I'm a grandmother and I have been losing with MFP so if I can do it I know you will continue to do well.

No, No, No ....... do not starve yourself or eat the Hydroxicut :laugh:

You're a beautiful girl and I'll bet plenty smart, too ...... make healthy choices at each meal & move more each day ......

Congrats on your weight loss ........ keep on truckin' !

I feel for you.

I remember a couple years back thinking I looked fine...until I saw some impromptu pictures at a family get-together. I guess all you can do is accept it, and don't be extreme or self-destructive. Its an awesome motivator...I lost 50 pounds after my wake up call. Don't forget, you will also perceive yourself much differently than others will...I guess if you saw yourself face-to-face as another person, you wouldn't recognize yourself...least that's what they say.

Basically, keep your chin up. You're worth so much more than dropping your intake to extremes. All great things take time. Good luck to you.

Oh, and to add to what I said before, you are SUPER pretty!

We have all had that moment and it is discouraging and I can definitely understand the urge you described. When I joined a couple years ago all I wanted to focus on was "how fast can I lose weight to get to #x." I didn't have success until I started focusing on fitness goals and a moderate calorie deficit (instead of a severe deficit). My mantra was "the only way you fail is if you give up." Picture yourself 6 mos to a year from now, you'll get there. Your lifestyle, your habits changed slowly to get to where you are now and you have to do the same thing to reverse it. I didn't gain 30 lbs in 3 mos and it wasn't realistic or sustainable to try and lose it in that time. Be accountable, be consistent, be kind to yourself and committed to learning and challenging yourself there is no way you won't be successful. Good luck!

I've done the 800-calorie-a-day diets and lost 40-50 lbs in 3-4 months... then gained it all right back and then some. You don't need another diet. You need a new way of life. Diets are temporary and when they are over so are the benefits. Unless you are willing to change your life and not just your weight, especially using a crash diet, the weight will come back on. Guaranteed. I've done this enough times to know. This is the last time for me because I've finally changed how I want to live, not just how I want to look. Good luck!! I know you can do it and you are worth the time it will take to get you to your goal. Just be willing to take your time and to do this for reasons that will create permanent change, not a quick fix. You won't regret it.

Please consider losing your weight as gently as possible. This is something my therapist and I have been discussing recently -- well, that and the notion of getting excited to treat my body well and meet my weight loss goals. I get your temptation to slash kcals and turn to supplements to get it over with as fast as possible, but like others and myself on here, you may find yourself in an even worse situation six months or a year from now. I have been mean enough to my body, and I'm just now trying to treat it like the reliable friend it is, instead of a thing to turn away in disgust from.
Also, have you considered you probably have a nice face and a great personality if guys were flirting back with you?

I like the responses here. I just wanted to say good for you for flirting,and I bet you made their day when you did. Everyone likes to feel appreciated and liked. Plus there are thousands of men and women out out there who are attracted to you right now just the way you are:)

Don`t feel so bad, Just start slow - Make good food choices and throw in regular exercise and the weight will come off while eating well and feeling good.

We're about at the same weight. Trust me, you don't want to starve yourself. That' won't work even to lose 40 lbs, you'll have to eat more than that, plus if you want to strive to look good and healthy you need to eat healthy, Losing 40 lbs by starvation wouldn't make you look any better or healthier. One thing that has helped me gain a little confidence is lifting weights. It makes me feel strong and it makes my body firmer and trust me I need a firmer body LOL I've had 5 children, my youngest is 3.5 months old. I was 260 lbs the day before giving birth and I am now at 221 lbs. My ticker shows my pre pregnancy weight which was right around 237 lbs. Once you start eating healthy and exercise you will feel better physically and emotionally. Right now honestly I try to avoid the mirror just because I know I'm working hard and it will take time to see a difference. I am taking progress pictures every 6 weeks and that is definitely encouraging because you really can see a difference that way. Don't give up!

trust me starving your self wont help, did that and gained back everything and then some, and i ate more then 800 i ate more around 1200, never doing that again. Im now at the weight i was at the beginning of my journey and i feel 100 times worse about myself then i did before at the same weight