Failed terribly again, need some good stories here

If you pick up where you left off, you can't say you've failed yet. You just hit a bump in the road. We're all imperfect, we all struggle and face difficulties. The difference that I see between those who succeed and those who fail is that the successful people keep trying and the failures give up and quit.

Get back to it, just like you've done before.

Stop focusing on what you can't do and focus on what you can do and then push it to do a little more each time. Before you know it, you will be doing those "can't" things. Focus on the positive and you will see that you can do it.

I am 5'8" and weighed 220lb in 2009, when I decided to change my lifestyle to avoid health problems. I used to suffer from depression and PTSD. I spent a lot of time in therapy to address the traumas that led to those illnesses. The mindset changes in therapy gave me the mental tools to make my weight loss successful.

You can do it if I can do it. Believe in yourself. Work on the depression and find healthy ways to cope with life's stresses. Exercise is one of the best ways to do that. Work on things that will assist your self-esteem. Decide that this is a permanent positive change you want to do for yourself.

Besides changing your diet and exercise routine into a healthier one that works for you, addressing your emotional needs will go a long way towards your success.

Can't say enough...If I could do it, so can you.:flowerforyou:

Do you have a family you want to live a long life for? I try to focus on my wife and our marriage. 32 years this week! I want to live the best I can for her sake. I have lost 20 lbs in the last two months. I have 55 more to go. It is not always about you but about others who care about you.

I recommend a book a friend of mine wrote. It is called Don't Cut Your Throat by Junior Hill. He has struggled with obesity his whole life. It could change your life. I am re-reading it again this week.

The first step isn't to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Start by not letting any of the negative crap that's going on turn into excuses that prevent you from moving forward with whatever it is you've decided that you're going to do.

At this point last year, I'd basically given up. I'd badly broken my ankle in January, and eleven months later, I could still barely walk on it. The damned thing hurt ALL THE TIME. I was miserable, and it's not like I could do anything about it. After all, the damned thing hurt all the time. Had I mentioned that?

I had two choices. Keep doing nothing, or do something (anything) to improve my lot. If I can do it, you can do it. It's a question of choice. You can choose to be miserable, or you can choose to act.

I was/am indeed selfmedicating because feeling drunk for a little while is so much easier to change that will give physical pain in the beginning but i am trying.

Like I said, I totally get the *need* to self medicate. I basically did it without even realizing I was doing it!

A little background on me. I got my clinical depression diagnosis in 1992, after spending 3-4 years trying to explain my crushing fatigue, etc. Looking back, I probably was showing symptoms as early as age 12/13 ( so like '85 or so?). I was on meds off and on for years, and haven't been on them in at least 10 now. My weight has been up and down my entire adult life ( generally my "low" is about 150lbs or so). My oldest son has always been a challenge, but things came to a head about 9 years ago, and he finally got an autism diagnosis (mild). We were still getting used to that when my youngest (19 months, and non verbal) landed wrong while jumping on the trampoline and sustained a spiral fracture of his thigh--5 weeks in a body cast. I had been going to the gym 3-4x a week and doing well, then couldn't go for 6 weeks. within a few months, the weight started creeping on...

the last 6-9 months haven't been fantastic for me either, but with the help of my friends, I'm dealing with things. In February I started working with a trainer at the gym...and in April he went on vaca and didn't come back! He did suggest a good replacement. In March my oldest almost got expelled from school. At the end of May, my father went in the hospital for something minor and has been in medical facilities ever since. About a week ago my mom put him in hospice care. I think it was when all the crap started in March that I realized that exercise is a powerful "drug". I went into the gym one day literally with a pressure in the base of my skull, and I ran like my life depended on it until the pressure eased up. There must have still been a crazy look in my eye, because my Justin ( my trainer) took one look at me and asked me if I had ever done battle ropes. It felt SOO good to beat the snot out of the floor with those ropes. I could only do a ffew minutes, but it felt great.

I know you think you looked horrible at your highest weight, but let me point out...you are 5'7" and 240lbs. At MY heaviest, I was 5'2" and 229lbs! It has taken me almost 2 years to lose 37 lbs...

No, you're right it's not 'easy' to change any habits, including harmful mental habits. You can't flip a switch and effortlessly cease negative thought processes overnight. It definitely takes effort, determination and time to change unhealthy mental habits. Just the same as with physical habits.

Self pity, feeling pathetic, feeling like a loser, feeling like a failure, all these unhealthy mental attitudes take time and practice to create, they take time and practice to root out too. You need to work at it, like with anything. Accepting that it is 'hard' and takes effort, is a part of the process of committing to any real change.

Thanks for the replies, usefull to me however so people always say, stop feeling sorry for yourself, dont think about the past etc etc thats all nice but if it was that easy i would have done it already, i have had a very complicated past and the present is also very hard and complicated atm.

Ofc i want to change it and stop feeling sorry for myself but its not like i can flip a switch and poof, it changed. Easier said than done.

ugh where to start, past couple years have been a major struggle, i am 171cm (5ft7) when i came to this site i weigh 100kg(220lbs) for a while i was active and dropped it to 94kg (207lbs) but had a very bad year again, people that were close passed away suddenly other stuff in my life lead to depression and depression lead to alcohol,smoking and bad food.

Now i am at my heaviest 109kg (240lbs) i need to at least lose 30kg(66lbs) for my frame , even thinking how long that will take is not making me very happy but even worse i am in such ****ty shape, my stamina is less than a 90yo due to all the smoking and drinking, parts of the body are in the way now with exercise.

Pretty depressing, any people that went to similair phases and came out a champ, pls let me hear from you/

I have been bipolar all my life and I used to smoke cigarettes for about 15 years, 2 packs of menthol a day... Believe it or not, smoking made my depression issues much much worse. The nicotine withdrawal would actually trick my body into having more mood swings. I know you said your depressed which is not the same but it can affect your body very similarly.

You need to stop. It sounds simple but we both know its not. I have been smoke free for almost 5 years now and it was literally the hardest thing I have ever done. I used the patch and the nic gum for the first week. I then used the 3 step patch system for the next 3 months. Every time I went down on the mg I had 1-2 days of suicidal thoughts. It will pass! Its worth it. I also chewed a pack of regular gun a day for months...it helped so much! Its all about willpower. Its the very first step for you to take to a healthy life. I am not an overly religious person but I do believe that your lucky to have this life and you damaging your body is disrespectful to our maker.

The reality is your not going to get your body to perform the way you want it to unless you give up these toxins. One of the biggest hurtles you need to accomplish is breath control. If you cant control your breathing when you exercise your not going to be able to push yourself. Its going to take time. If you smoke, thats just not going to happen

You CAN and WILL do this.

Aw, you poor thing. Sounds like everything has got on top of you right now.

I think it's great advice to break these things down into smaller issues that are a bit easier to tackle. Brilliant idea to take up walking - I realised I was REALLY unfit about a year ago so pushed myself into doing a 2 mile walk each lunchtime using Endomondo on my phone. For the first three days I honestly had to take about an hour to recover. For the first week it sucked and I hated it. For the first two weeks I ached. And after three weeks I realised it was really starting to get easier. That's basically just 10 walks and my body started to recover fitness. Amazing (Besides which, walking is a great thing if you're depressed and battling cigarettes too - I find it sort of dampens my appetite for a bit and others have reported the same about cigarette cravings.)

It's massive thing to stack up all the weight you want to lose, all the smoking and drinking and try and tackle it as a mountain of bad. But I love that advice that doctors gave out a couple of years ago - 20 minutes after you smoke your last cigarette, your heart rate starts to settle out. 20 MINUTES! That's crazy, right? After 12 hours your blood carbon monoxide levels normalise. After 2-3 months, you lung function starts to improve. Etc etc etc. Your body WANTS to look after you and it'll help you as best it can to be healthy. And every single second that you're able to make positive choices for is a second your body has to help heal itself And because it's pushing so hard to be healthy, it can absorb a bit of slack if you fall off the wagon a few times as you get started: it'll just start the fight again when you're ready.

mate i was such a fat mess a few measly years ago as in 18 stone of pure fat on a 5'10 frame, you can get stuff done trust me,