Why do people look to others for motivation?

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  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
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    For me, personally, I don't find motivation from my friends or others. What I do find in them is acceptance, encouragement, aweseomeness, and most of all for me, accountability.

    I *could* do this alone, but why the eff would I *want* to when i have the most amazing friends here that are there for me during my successes and failures.
  • MayaLove1
    MayaLove1 Posts: 25 Member
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    I think it's fun to log on and cheer people on! It also makes me pumped want to work harder! :smile:
  • Lonestar5775
    Lonestar5775 Posts: 740 Member
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    To use a personal example:

    There are times when I feel lethargic and lazy. I'm ready to skip a work out. If I really can't force myself to get out the door, or maybe I'm feeling anxious, there is a friend I will usually text. It goes something like this:


    Me: I'm being a lazy fat ***

    Friend: Okay, just stay fat then.

    Me: I don't want to be fat.

    Friend: Then get your fat *** to the gym and stop complaining. (usually a lot more curse words involved)

    Me: Fine. I hate you. I'm going.

    I'd call this support, and encouragement albeit my strange brand of it.

    Is this what people call motivation?

    Maybe they want you to be less poofy?
  • Poofy_Goodness
    Poofy_Goodness Posts: 229 Member
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    Hmmm..is that how you and this friend normally talk to each other? I ithink your friend is tired of hearing you put yourself down so they call you on your defeatist talk. I suppose that could be encouraging to some people. It got you to go to the gym, right?
    That brand of motivation doesn't work for me personally though...

    Hah, yes and no.

    My friend knows what works for me. Calling me out on my crap, tough love, things like that work better for ME personally than "You're awesome, you can do it." I don't enjoy when people complain about something and take no action to change it. My friend knows this so she's helping me not to be a hypocrite. Good friends rule!

    I know that wouldn't work for everyone. For others, "you're awesome, you can do it!" is just what they need.


    But again, I would call that encouragement and support rather than motivation.



    Also, I am not condemning anyone. I know different things work for different people. I was trying to understand something I didn't understand.

    Now I don't understand why people are assuming there was some type of negative judgement on my part, but I guess that's how things go sometimes.
  • Factory_Reset
    Factory_Reset Posts: 1,651 Member
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    I don't know

    I also don't know why people eat cauliflower pizza, use raspberry ketones, or think 5lb dumbbells will make them bulky.

    Welcome to MFP
  • j75j75
    j75j75 Posts: 854 Member
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    A lot of people lack self-motivation. Who knows why...
  • KeViN_v2pt0
    KeViN_v2pt0 Posts: 375 Member
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    I find myself drawn to the Motivation and Support section of the MFP forums. I see so many posts that essentially boil down to:

    "I need friends to motivate me to reach my goals."

    I don't understand.

    mo·ti·va·tion
    noun \ˌmō-tə-ˈvā-shən\

    : the act or process of giving someone a reason for doing something : the act or process of motivating someone
    : the condition of being eager to act or work : the condition of being motivated
    : a force or influence that causes someone to do something


    How can other people provide this for you?

    Your reasons for losing weight or getting in shape are your own.
    Your reasons for not meeting your goals are your own.
    You are the only person who can control what you eat.
    You are the only one who can control how much energy you exert.

    I understand how people can inspire each other. I understand how people can educate each other. I understand how other people can provide a new perspective to each other. These fall under the umbrella of support, and I understand how people can support each other in their fitness goals.

    I do not understand how someone can motivate someone else, with the exception of competition-- but I doubt that's what anyone means when they ask for motivation.

    Can anyone help me understand?

    Because people like you dont think of stuff like this....

    WallQuotes-BruceLee-Ifyoualwaysputlimiton.jpg

    Instead youre too busy reading the dictionary trying to "understand stuff"
  • Poofy_Goodness
    Poofy_Goodness Posts: 229 Member
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    Because people like you dont think of stuff like this....

    WallQuotes-BruceLee-Ifyoualwaysputlimiton.jpg

    Instead youre too busy reading the dictionary trying to "understand stuff"

    3124962-not+sure+if+serious+zod.gif
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
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    My motivation is mostly internal, but reading the success stories here gave me extra confidence that I can really do this, that my goals are not unrealistic. There is so much other information out there saying that weight loss doesn't work, people always gain it back, etc. It's nice to see that there are plenty of regular people out there who can and do have success.
  • crazie4lulu
    crazie4lulu Posts: 762 Member
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    me getting up at 3;15 and going for a run on a cold *kitten* morning 6 days a week.... then posting it.... motivates people who are reading it to think... well if she can do that ... then i can get up and do something too. its not a competition... rather a slight kick in the but from afar to say... NOW ITS YOUR TURN!!!!
  • MyFoodGod
    MyFoodGod Posts: 184 Member
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    People need to know they matter. Someone out their does care. Some people can get very depressed, even suicidal over their weight.

    Would you tell a friend with cancer it's their problem.? Good luck with that, can't help you.

    This may be the only safe place some people have to find support and understanding. For some people losing weight really is a matter of life and death or at least quality of life.

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