Why do people look to others for motivation?
Poofy_Goodness
Posts: 229 Member
I find myself drawn to the Motivation and Support section of the MFP forums. I see so many posts that essentially boil down to:
"I need friends to motivate me to reach my goals."
I don't understand.
mo·ti·va·tion
noun \ˌmō-tə-ˈvā-shən\
: the act or process of giving someone a reason for doing something : the act or process of motivating someone
: the condition of being eager to act or work : the condition of being motivated
: a force or influence that causes someone to do something
How can other people provide this for you?
Your reasons for losing weight or getting in shape are your own.
Your reasons for not meeting your goals are your own.
You are the only person who can control what you eat.
You are the only one who can control how much energy you exert.
I understand how people can inspire each other. I understand how people can educate each other. I understand how other people can provide a new perspective to each other. These fall under the umbrella of support, and I understand how people can support each other in their fitness goals.
I do not understand how someone can motivate someone else, with the exception of competition-- but I doubt that's what anyone means when they ask for motivation.
Can anyone help me understand?
"I need friends to motivate me to reach my goals."
I don't understand.
mo·ti·va·tion
noun \ˌmō-tə-ˈvā-shən\
: the act or process of giving someone a reason for doing something : the act or process of motivating someone
: the condition of being eager to act or work : the condition of being motivated
: a force or influence that causes someone to do something
How can other people provide this for you?
Your reasons for losing weight or getting in shape are your own.
Your reasons for not meeting your goals are your own.
You are the only person who can control what you eat.
You are the only one who can control how much energy you exert.
I understand how people can inspire each other. I understand how people can educate each other. I understand how other people can provide a new perspective to each other. These fall under the umbrella of support, and I understand how people can support each other in their fitness goals.
I do not understand how someone can motivate someone else, with the exception of competition-- but I doubt that's what anyone means when they ask for motivation.
Can anyone help me understand?
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Replies
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There are two types of motivation, extrinsic and intrinsic. Extrinsic motivation comes from outside rewards, like competing for a prize. Intrinsic motivation comes from inside, like doing something simply because you enjoy it. For a lot of people, weight loss and fitness are framed--at least in the beginning--in terms of extrinsic rewards: looking more attractive, fitting in with others, feeling comfortable in public. More often though, people are using the word "motivation" interchangeably with "accountability." They don't think they can make themselves stick to it, so they want other people to keep them in line, and that's been shown to be a pretty effective strategy.
Hope that helped.0 -
Societal acceptance0
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Validation, perhaps. The need to know they are not alone in their struggle.0
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We are social creatures who, for the most part, function better in groups than as individuals.0
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Motivation from friends can be very important. Something like this, it's hard to do and it's a great push to have someone else say "WOW Keep up the good work!"
Yeah, you can motivate yourself, but what happens on a bad day. One of those days where you just can't care enough to tell yourself you did good. Hearing it from someone else is a great self esteem booster, and can turn a bad day into a good one.0 -
Most of the time you're also the only person that gives a crap in real life, so if you can connect with some people who have similar interests and spare your FB friends from and eyeroll or two then what's the harm? lol0
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More often though, people are using the word "motivation" interchangeably with "accountability." They don't think they can make themselves stick to it, so they want other people to keep them in line, and that's been shown to be a pretty effective strategy.
Hope that helped.
I think we have a winner. I thought it might just be an issue of semantics.0 -
Just as with any support group, I think it helps people to surround themselves with like folks that understand their struggles with weight. The "you can do this" from folks that are on the same journey can help inspire
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Some people are motivated from inside. Others need external motivation to help them along. Whichever helps you reach your goals. To each their own.0
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I don't know if I can answer your question directly, but I can speak for myself and how this section has helped me.
I, too, have found myself drawn to this section, and I have read posts and replies. I may not have answered back (lurking, I think is what it is called?) but I have found help in here. Yes, my journey is mine and mine alone. I have not asked anyone to take it with me. I alone am responsible to allowing myself to get to where I was, so I alone am responsible to getting myself to where I want to be.
However, there are times when we need help. Advice or some "mental boosts" from others. Even an "atta girl/boy" helps. There have been times I've been out running & tempted to cut it short because I just plain don't wanna do it, then a post from here will pop in my mind & it gives me a mental "push" to keep going.
Just today I came here looking for something because I've had 2 not-so-good days in a row (honestly, for the 1st time since I began this journey this time in July, so I shouldn't really be too upset) but I know myself, and I need to stop this NOW, before the .5 lb gain I had on Monday doesn't become the norm!)
Call it "motivation" or "inspiration"...or a little help. Everybody needs some from time to time.0 -
Motivation from friends can be very important. Something like this, it's hard to do and it's a great push to have someone else say "WOW Keep up the good work!"
That's encouragement, not motivation.
I realize I am being a stickler for words here, like I said it's an issue of semantics.0 -
Motivation from friends can be very important. Something like this, it's hard to do and it's a great push to have someone else say "WOW Keep up the good work!"
That's encouragement, not motivation.
I realize I am being a stickler for words here, like I said it's an issue of semantics.
The encouragement from others can provide motivation.0 -
Most of the time you're also the only person that gives a crap in real life, so if you can connect with some people who have similar interests and spare your FB friends from and eyeroll or two then what's the harm? lol
I'm in no way saying that a community of like-minded individuals does not aid in achieving a common goal, or that it's harmful.
I'm just trying to understand what people are asking for when they ask for others to motivate them.0 -
Motivation from friends can be very important. Something like this, it's hard to do and it's a great push to have someone else say "WOW Keep up the good work!"
That's encouragement, not motivation.
I realize I am being a stickler for words here, like I said it's an issue of semantics.
The encouragement from others can provide motivation.
Interesting. Never considered that aspect. Thanks.0 -
Support... I believe it's really more about finding supportive friends.
People who can relate, advise, and cheer you on. Having a good supportive group can help you find your own motivation that's hiding inside you. I find I'm really inspired by other's progress, this also helps drive my own motivation.
We have to make our own motivation happen no one will do that for us, but a good supportive group really helps.
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I think a better question is why not? Sure you can do it on your own and draw motivation and support from within but if it's available why not take advantage of the additional motivation to be had from others?0
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To use a personal example:
There are times when I feel lethargic and lazy. I'm ready to skip a work out. If I really can't force myself to get out the door, or maybe I'm feeling anxious, there is a friend I will usually text. It goes something like this:
Me: I'm being a lazy fat ***
Friend: Okay, just stay fat then.
Me: I don't want to be fat.
Friend: Then get your fat *** to the gym and stop complaining. (usually a lot more curse words involved)
Me: Fine. I hate you. I'm going.
I'd call this support, and encouragement albeit my strange brand of it.
Is this what people call motivation?0 -
Because not everyone is the same. What motivates you isn't what motivates others. It's as simple as that. Different strokes for different folks...0
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To use a personal example:
There are times when I feel lethargic and lazy. I'm ready to skip a work out. If I really can't force myself to get out the door, or maybe I'm feeling anxious, there is a friend I will usually text. It goes something like this:
Me: I'm being a lazy fat ***
Friend: Okay, just stay fat then.
Me: I don't want to be fat.
Friend: Then get your fat *** to the gym and stop complaining. (usually a lot more curse words involved)
Me: Fine. I hate you. I'm going.
I'd call this support, and encouragement albeit my strange brand of it.
Is this what people call motivation?
It certainly sounds to me like this motivated you to get your fat *** to the gym :bigsmile:
*edit for typo0 -
To use a personal example:
There are times when I feel lethargic and lazy. I'm ready to skip a work out. If I really can't force myself to get out the door, or maybe I'm feeling anxious, there is a friend I will usually text. It goes something like this:
Me: I'm being a lazy fat ***
Friend: Okay, just stay fat then.
Me: I don't want to be fat.
Friend: Then get your fat *** to the gym and stop complaining. (usually a lot more curse words involved)
Me: Fine. I hate you. I'm going.
I'd call this support, and encouragement albeit my strange brand of it.
Is this what people call motivation?
Hmmm..is that how you and this friend normally talk to each other? I ithink your friend is tired of hearing you put yourself down so they call you on your defeatist talk. I suppose that could be encouraging to some people. It got you to go to the gym, right?
That brand of motivation doesn't work for me personally though...0 -
For me, personally, I don't find motivation from my friends or others. What I do find in them is acceptance, encouragement, aweseomeness, and most of all for me, accountability.
I *could* do this alone, but why the eff would I *want* to when i have the most amazing friends here that are there for me during my successes and failures.0 -
I think it's fun to log on and cheer people on! It also makes me pumped want to work harder! 0
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To use a personal example:
There are times when I feel lethargic and lazy. I'm ready to skip a work out. If I really can't force myself to get out the door, or maybe I'm feeling anxious, there is a friend I will usually text. It goes something like this:
Me: I'm being a lazy fat ***
Friend: Okay, just stay fat then.
Me: I don't want to be fat.
Friend: Then get your fat *** to the gym and stop complaining. (usually a lot more curse words involved)
Me: Fine. I hate you. I'm going.
I'd call this support, and encouragement albeit my strange brand of it.
Is this what people call motivation?
Maybe they want you to be less poofy?0 -
Hmmm..is that how you and this friend normally talk to each other? I ithink your friend is tired of hearing you put yourself down so they call you on your defeatist talk. I suppose that could be encouraging to some people. It got you to go to the gym, right?
That brand of motivation doesn't work for me personally though...
Hah, yes and no.
My friend knows what works for me. Calling me out on my crap, tough love, things like that work better for ME personally than "You're awesome, you can do it." I don't enjoy when people complain about something and take no action to change it. My friend knows this so she's helping me not to be a hypocrite. Good friends rule!
I know that wouldn't work for everyone. For others, "you're awesome, you can do it!" is just what they need.
But again, I would call that encouragement and support rather than motivation.
Also, I am not condemning anyone. I know different things work for different people. I was trying to understand something I didn't understand.
Now I don't understand why people are assuming there was some type of negative judgement on my part, but I guess that's how things go sometimes.0 -
I don't know
I also don't know why people eat cauliflower pizza, use raspberry ketones, or think 5lb dumbbells will make them bulky.
Welcome to MFP0 -
A lot of people lack self-motivation. Who knows why...0
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I find myself drawn to the Motivation and Support section of the MFP forums. I see so many posts that essentially boil down to:
"I need friends to motivate me to reach my goals."
I don't understand.
mo·ti·va·tion
noun \ˌmō-tə-ˈvā-shən\
: the act or process of giving someone a reason for doing something : the act or process of motivating someone
: the condition of being eager to act or work : the condition of being motivated
: a force or influence that causes someone to do something
How can other people provide this for you?
Your reasons for losing weight or getting in shape are your own.
Your reasons for not meeting your goals are your own.
You are the only person who can control what you eat.
You are the only one who can control how much energy you exert.
I understand how people can inspire each other. I understand how people can educate each other. I understand how other people can provide a new perspective to each other. These fall under the umbrella of support, and I understand how people can support each other in their fitness goals.
I do not understand how someone can motivate someone else, with the exception of competition-- but I doubt that's what anyone means when they ask for motivation.
Can anyone help me understand?
Because people like you dont think of stuff like this....
Instead youre too busy reading the dictionary trying to "understand stuff"0 -
Because people like you dont think of stuff like this....
Instead youre too busy reading the dictionary trying to "understand stuff"
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My motivation is mostly internal, but reading the success stories here gave me extra confidence that I can really do this, that my goals are not unrealistic. There is so much other information out there saying that weight loss doesn't work, people always gain it back, etc. It's nice to see that there are plenty of regular people out there who can and do have success.0
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me getting up at 3;15 and going for a run on a cold *kitten* morning 6 days a week.... then posting it.... motivates people who are reading it to think... well if she can do that ... then i can get up and do something too. its not a competition... rather a slight kick in the but from afar to say... NOW ITS YOUR TURN!!!!0
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