Advice for the quiet and shy?
LunaKye
Posts: 16 Member
So I have SEVERE social anxiety. I can't do any exercises at home that include much jumping or heavy foot-work due to me being in an upstairs situation. I want to join a gym, but I am far too shy to do anything in front of anyone. I need to add more to my workouts, but I just can't do it at home. Any experience with this, or advice?
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Replies
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If you aren't exercising in the middle of the night, I wouldn't worry about jumping or making noise upstairs. People who live in apartments are allowed to work out, too!0
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Home workout videos are your friend. Youtube has loads so you don't even have to buy them and you can always pick and choose which exercises you do. Mr Motivator is good, some Chris Powell workouts don't involve much jumping. Jillian Michaels workouts are good and most have a moderated version with less impact for the jumping exercises.
I hate gyms, have never been to one and hopefully never will. You don't need them! You can always order weights to lift at home too.0 -
I wouldn't worry about going to the gym and thinking you are the center of attention. People are more concerned with doing their own thing than to be worried about what you're doing. So, you can think about all the things you need to do or you can do them.
ETA: I'm pretty shy so I know how you feel. You have to get over it if you intend to get anywhere with your goals.0 -
From a former "shrinking violet" ... Put on your big girl pants and snap out of it ... Face your fear, trust me, you aren't going to die ... They are just people, not deadly, venomous spiders ... Just get out there d live your life, you'll enjoy things a lot more when you aren't worried about what others think of you ... I used to care, now I'm like F it, and you know what, I am MUCH happier, and WAY more confident ... I used to dread social situations and talking to people in general, but I realized I wasn't going to het anywhere in life, living in my little bubble, now, I don't shut up ...0
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I was in the same situation in the beginning. I was extremely apprehensive about working out in a public place and around strangers.
I still remember the first time I walked through the doors of the gym and my heart rate shot up instantly.
What I found out is that 99% of the people there could care less about what I was doing. They were more focused on what they had to do. If any of them did say anything, it was to help out or offer words of encouragement.
As time goes by, it not only gets much easier to do, but also with increased confidence in myself I have been able to open up and meet new people.
For me, being extremely shy and backwards has always been an excuse not to do things. This was one of them, but not anymore.
If you can go with someone it would be much easier, but if not give it chance. You may be as shocked as I was 8 months ago when I started my journey.0 -
Social anxiety is a real problem, ignore the people who tell you to just "get over it" right away. It might take a while or you might never completely get over it. Go running outdoors in a quiet place. Find a high school track and use it either in the mornings before school starts or late at night after it gets dark (so nobody can see you :glasses: )
While you might not be able to get over the anxiety, realize this: People at the gym don't notice anything but themselves. Most people are there because they want to improve themselves, they don't care what other people are doing. The only time I really noticed what someone else was doing was when a girl opened up the emergency exit and set off the alarm.0 -
When you go to the gym just picture everyone in their underwear and everything should be okay.0
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Social anxiety is a real problem, ignore the people who tell you to just "get over it" right away. It might take a while or you might never completely get over it. Go running outdoors in a quiet place. Find a high school track and use it either in the mornings before school starts or late at night after it gets dark (so nobody can see you :glasses: )
While you might not be able to get over the anxiety, realize this: People at the gym don't notice anything but themselves. Most people are there because they want to improve themselves, they don't care what other people are doing. The only time I really noticed what someone else was doing was when a girl opened up the emergency exit and set off the alarm.
Um ... It's called "exposure therapy" ... it works ... You may have to take baby steps ... Nobody is saying you have to go an sing Karaoke a t a bar tomorrow, just walk through the doors of a gym ...0 -
From a former "shrinking violet" ... Put on your big girl pants and snap out of it ... Face your fear, trust me, you aren't going to die ... They are just people, not deadly, venomous spiders ... Just get out there d live your life, you'll enjoy things a lot more when you aren't worried about what others think of you ... I used to care, now I'm like F it, and you know what, I am MUCH happier, and WAY more confident ... I used to dread social situations and talking to people in general, but I realized I wasn't going to het anywhere in life, living in my little bubble, now, I don't shut up ...
Social anxiety disorder is a mental illness. She can't just 'snap out of it'. :huh:0 -
Honestly, nobody cares at the gym. There will be no ogling or awkward staring - seriously, it's like riding the city bus or walking through a mall. Call up any gym, and let them know you are interested in signing up, but not willing to pay before you test it out once or twice. Most will give you a few days free. Also, let them know you are shy, and many will accommodate you (like have a personal trainer have a chat with you to see how to help you). Remember, you are not alone in this struggle. Many will help you overcome it. Try it for as many days they give you free (1 to 5 days), then see if you will be okay with it. Also, you can ask them when their "low traffic" period is, and go when there are less people if the timing suits you.
But, if you really want to avoid the gym, maybe a stationary bike will help (no jumping, just spinning with minimal noise).
Here's a thought....with 2014 just around the corner, why not chalk this up as one of those goals in life? When people overcome their fears, extraordinary things happen. Good luck sweetheart.0 -
This is me a few years back.
My tips for overcoming workout shyness
*get some workout clothes that hide the bits you hate and show the bits you like ( I was self conscious about my boobs when running so I wear a T-shirt a size too big and a good fitting sports bra but I like my thighs so don't mind wearing tight pants.)
* I always wore headphones at the gym to block out my negativity and make me feel a bit more invisible
* start working on some positive mantras cheesy but they do work healthy mind healthy body.
You could always get some extra thick gym mats try dampen the noise, I have my exercise DVD on loud too so the neighbours know
ThThat I am working out and not making out lol0 -
What I found out is that 99% of the people there could care less about what I was doing. They were more focused on what they had to do. If any of them did say anything, it was to help out or offer words of encouragement.
^^ This is very true. The only time I pay attention to other people is if they're doing some amazing exercise I haven't seen before, or if they are really loud and obnoxious.
My suggestion is maybe starting to go to a gym at times it's not so busy, at least until you are more comfortable. I used to get anxiety walking into a busy gym because I was afraid of looking dumb and out of place. Once I went a few times and learned where things are, and some basic etiquette, it wasn't so bad.
If a gym is out of the question, then stay at home. Like someone else mentioned, just because you're in an apartment doesn't mean you can't make any noise. Just don't do your workouts between, say 9:30 pm & 9:30 am.0 -
From a former "shrinking violet" ... Put on your big girl pants and snap out of it ... Face your fear, trust me, you aren't going to die ... They are just people, not deadly, venomous spiders ... Just get out there d live your life, you'll enjoy things a lot more when you aren't worried about what others think of you ... I used to care, now I'm like F it, and you know what, I am MUCH happier, and WAY more confident ... I used to dread social situations and talking to people in general, but I realized I wasn't going to het anywhere in life, living in my little bubble, now, I don't shut up ...
Social anxiety disorder is a mental illness. She can't just 'snap out of it'. :huh:
A mental illness that can be over come ... Seriously, I used get panic attacks and dreaded any type of social situation ... Unless, it's severe to the point of being afraid to go to the store to buy food, then you probably can work on it ... If it's THAT bad, what about therapy? ....
I got the advice to just "Get out there, talk to people and see what happens", from one of my mother's (an RN) co-workers (a social worker) ... Said social worker, works with the mentally ill on the psychiatric floor of a hospital (helps them find jobs and what not)...
Seriously, ask yourself ... What is the worst thing that can happen? ... If the answer is not death, then just go for it ...0 -
Walking. Find a place in your area that is pretty much people free and walk. I too have that problem so I find trails without people. I also have a treadmill in my house for rainy days.0
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So I have SEVERE social anxiety. I can't do any exercises at home that include much jumping or heavy foot-work due to me being in an upstairs situation. I want to join a gym, but I am far too shy to do anything in front of anyone. I need to add more to my workouts, but I just can't do it at home. Any experience with this, or advice?
Do you have a workout buddy? drag them to the gym with you and try to stay focused on them rather than all the other people. just an idea.0 -
This helps! Thanks
Though, I can't bring anyone. I'm too shy to even exercise with my fiance lol. But I will keep this in mind if I go ^_^ 0 -
Thanks! I'm actually about to start college in January, and they have a gym that's free to full-time students (That's me!) Now I just have to grow a pair lol. I'm thinking maybe headphones and music will help. I appreciate the adviceHonestly, nobody cares at the gym. There will be no ogling or awkward staring - seriously, it's like riding the city bus or walking through a mall. Call up any gym, and let them know you are interested in signing up, but not willing to pay before you test it out once or twice. Most will give you a few days free. Also, let them know you are shy, and many will accommodate you (like have a personal trainer have a chat with you to see how to help you). Remember, you are not alone in this struggle. Many will help you overcome it. Try it for as many days they give you free (1 to 5 days), then see if you will be okay with it. Also, you can ask them when their "low traffic" period is, and go when there are less people if the timing suits you.
But, if you really want to avoid the gym, maybe a stationary bike will help (no jumping, just spinning with minimal noise).
Here's a thought....with 2014 just around the corner, why not chalk this up as one of those goals in life? When people overcome their fears, extraordinary things happen. Good luck sweetheart. 0 -
http://www.shape.com/fitness/cardio/apartment-approved-cardio <- check this out maybe it will help 0
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Awesome! Though, my problem with the upstairs is how SQUEAKY the floors are. It's super loud lol. But this helps! ThanksThis is me a few years back.
My tips for overcoming workout shyness
*get some workout clothes that hide the bits you hate and show the bits you like ( I was self conscious about my boobs when running so I wear a T-shirt a size too big and a good fitting sports bra but I like my thighs so don't mind wearing tight pants.)
* I always wore headphones at the gym to block out my negativity and make me feel a bit more invisible
* start working on some positive mantras cheesy but they do work healthy mind healthy body.
You could always get some extra thick gym mats try dampen the noise, I have my exercise DVD on loud too so the neighbours know
ThThat I am working out and not making out lol
0 -
ThanksWhat I found out is that 99% of the people there could care less about what I was doing. They were more focused on what they had to do. If any of them did say anything, it was to help out or offer words of encouragement.
^^ This is very true. The only time I pay attention to other people is if they're doing some amazing exercise I haven't seen before, or if they are really loud and obnoxious.
My suggestion is maybe starting to go to a gym at times it's not so busy, at least until you are more comfortable. I used to get anxiety walking into a busy gym because I was afraid of looking dumb and out of place. Once I went a few times and learned where things are, and some basic etiquette, it wasn't so bad.
If a gym is out of the question, then stay at home. Like someone else mentioned, just because you're in an apartment doesn't mean you can't make any noise. Just don't do your workouts between, say 9:30 pm & 9:30 am. I'm mostly afraid that I will use the equipment wrong and attract attention xD I'm completely new to this stuff. 0 -
Thank you for understanding. Most people don't understand how severe it is. It physically hurts me, and when I feel like I'm being judged, I often have to choke back tears. It's absolutely humiliating.From a former "shrinking violet" ... Put on your big girl pants and snap out of it ... Face your fear, trust me, you aren't going to die ... They are just people, not deadly, venomous spiders ... Just get out there d live your life, you'll enjoy things a lot more when you aren't worried about what others think of you ... I used to care, now I'm like F it, and you know what, I am MUCH happier, and WAY more confident ... I used to dread social situations and talking to people in general, but I realized I wasn't going to het anywhere in life, living in my little bubble, now, I don't shut up ...
Social anxiety disorder is a mental illness. She can't just 'snap out of it'. :huh:
A mental illness that can be over come ... Seriously, I used get panic attacks and dreaded any type of social situation ... Unless, it's severe to the point of being afraid to go to the store to buy food, then you probably can work on it ... If it's THAT bad, what about therapy? ....
I got the advice to just "Get out there, talk to people and see what happens", from one of my mother's (an RN) co-workers (a social worker) ... Said social worker, works with the mentally ill on the psychiatric floor of a hospital (helps them find jobs and what not)...
Seriously, ask yourself ... What is the worst thing that can happen? ... If the answer is not death, then just go for it ...
But I think I'm going to give this a try. At least once 0 -
This is actually what my daily exercises consist ofWalking. Find a place in your area that is pretty much people free and walk. I too have that problem so I find trails without people. I also have a treadmill in my house for rainy days. 0 -
This might be a good one too:
http://www.blogilates.com/videos/pop-cardio-videos/apartment-friendly-cardio-workout-yes-for-realzz0 -
You're a life saver! Thank youhttp://www.shape.com/fitness/cardio/apartment-approved-cardio <- check this out maybe it will help 0 -
Ah! Cassie is awesome! Thanks :DDThis might be a good one too:
http://www.blogilates.com/videos/pop-cardio-videos/apartment-friendly-cardio-workout-yes-for-realzz0 -
Thanks I'm mostly afraid that I will use the equipment wrong and attract attention xD I'm completely new to this stuff.
When you sign up ask them if they have an orientation. Most gyms will take you through all the equipment, you just have to sign up for a specific time for an orientation. Most of the machines also have diagrams showing you how to use the machine. But please ask for the orientation. That way you'll know how to adjust the seating for your height. Good luck, I'm not going to tell you to just get over it, but do try and go. You will find what most us have found, it can be a welcoming place. Wish I could afford a gym.0 -
From a former "shrinking violet" ... Put on your big girl pants and snap out of it ... Face your fear, trust me, you aren't going to die ... They are just people, not deadly, venomous spiders ... Just get out there d live your life, you'll enjoy things a lot more when you aren't worried about what others think of you ... I used to care, now I'm like F it, and you know what, I am MUCH happier, and WAY more confident ... I used to dread social situations and talking to people in general, but I realized I wasn't going to het anywhere in life, living in my little bubble, now, I don't shut up ...
Social anxiety disorder is a mental illness. She can't just 'snap out of it'. :huh:
A mental illness that can be over come ... Seriously, I used get panic attacks and dreaded any type of social situation ... Unless, it's severe to the point of being afraid to go to the store to buy food, then you probably can work on it ... If it's THAT bad, what about therapy? ....
I got the advice to just "Get out there, talk to people and see what happens", from one of my mother's (an RN) co-workers (a social worker) ... Said social worker, works with the mentally ill on the psychiatric floor of a hospital (helps them find jobs and what not)...
Seriously, ask yourself ... What is the worst thing that can happen? ... If the answer is not death, then just go for it ...
'Snapping out of it' is different advice than desensitization therapy (which I have been through, BTW, so I know panic disorders!). In the first, you are telling her to 'Put her big panties on and snap out of it'! Now you are backing down and offering real help.
Not sure why you were so harsh in your first post, but I'm glad you clarified.0 -
hey you got this OP! Start with small steps and with time I'm sure you'll be busting into the gym like you own the place:) I know when I started going to my uni's gym I was super intimidated, particularly in the weight room. What helped most was having a close friend ease me into it. He showed me how to use the machines, basic weight training form, where everything was, etc. Take the first week or so to see when the gym is most crowded as well. I found that the frat stars and athletes tended to crowd in there late afternoon/early evening so I made a point to work out later in the evening. Remind yourself that you're going there for you, not for them, and that quite frankly, they're probably just as self-aware as you are.
Good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
I have a bit of social anxiety myself so I know how you feel. It's hard to suck it up and put yourself out there, I have tried. I'm much more comfortable with my belly fat jiggling in the privacy of my own home/bedroom. Something else you may want to consider. Black friday is coming... I am going to look into finding a stationary bike for a good price - a fold-up one I can store in my closet. Maybe you should give that a try as well?0
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I can relate. When i first started running I went with my boyfriend the first few times for moral support. Even then I would stop running whenever somebody went by, then wait till they weren't looking and start again. I'm the type of girl who doesn't like to ask the assistant in shoe shops to go get my size out of the back, I didn't used to eat in public because I thought I'd be judged. If I were in a restaurant and say I had to go to the toilet, i'd plan it out in my head first... same with starting conversations with people I wasn't familiar with, I'd say it in my head before I said it out loud.
I'm much better now I'm thinner, a lot of it for me was me beating myself up about my weight. I didn't want people to see me run and think 'look at that fat girl trying to run'.
For me , I just had to get out there and do it. At first I walked to my local racecourse and only ran past people if they looked nice... I built myself up to it. Then once it felt less abnormal, i realised they probably weren't thinking anything. Eventually I even got the confidence to run on my own street around my neighbors who are always in their gardens.
At home I did jillian michaels dvds. Until after about 4 months, I felt ready to join a gym. I didn't feel like a complete noob, and I'd already lost over 40lbs. For me the confidence didn't come until the weight was coming off. My weight was holding me back... but I was the one who let it.0
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