Weirdest FaRt ever!

This is plaguing me. I keep trying to forget this thread. I thought maybe I'd go for a walk around the block but it's still there, still bothering me. WHY IS THE "R" CAPITALIZED????????

OMG! I GOT IT!! I GOT IT!!

Finally I can live my life again!

Weirdest FR ever!
Weirdest FaRt ever!


Thank God.

This is plaguing me. I keep trying to forget this thread. I thought maybe I'd go for a walk around the block but it's still there, still bothering me. WHY IS THE "R" CAPITALIZED????????

OMG! I GOT IT!! I GOT IT!!

Finally I can live my life again!

Weirdest FR ever!
Weirdest FaRt ever!


Thank God.

So this one time, I was at the store with my family. In order to make the trip quick, my darling and I split up, each taking a kid and half the shopping list, and made a "race" of who could fill their list fast enough.

I, from all my marathon training and MFP (and having chosen the younger, more aerodynamic child), won, of course.

So I went to meet up with the other team and gloat, but upon entering their section of store, a foul stench hit me, like a wall of sulfur and evil.

I said to my partner, "man, this aisle smells like rotten egg farts"

to which he replied, "this whole store smells like this!"

I found that odd, as none of the store I had encountered thus far smelled quite like the death of the entire poultry industry, but sure enough, after joining up with the other half of my family unit, everywhere I went, the store smelled like doom and deviled eggs that had been forgotten in the back of the fridge since 2 Easter Sundays ago.

It wasn't until the stench followed us to the car that we had the terrible realization:

the odor was wafting from my sweet, soft-spoken 10 year old daughter.

When we called her out on it, she admitted that the sulfurous odor was, indeed, gas that she had been emitting silently, but deadly from her posterior since we had begun the shopping trip. I am never ever feeding her egg salad sandwiches for lunch again.

The entire store probably reeked for days.