I need some advice

The best secret to diet success is don't do it alone. Find someone to help you. Don't look at the big picture, every pound loss is a success story. All the best. Andre xox

And try to get out of the "diet" frame of mind. Think of it as a lifestyle change! Make good, healthy choices for food, utilize portion control, exercise when you can... and do this forever! Then, it's just a part of your life and not something you have to think about. And having an occasional treat or big meal wont sabotage your body because you are doing the right things MOST of the time.
Get back in the saddle, girl! You CAN do this!!! :flowerforyou:

so what my parents have this state of mind if i cook it you eat it (still to this day we talk about my moms eggplant suprise :sad: ) but my roommates eat whatever they want my roommate will litteraly pour half a bag of chips on a plate and call it dinner but i still make my food so just do what you gotta do

And what about eating back your exercise calories? I feel like I definitely should NOT be eating back any calories. I have a hard time sticking to my alloted calories most of the time so I do not want to add more to it. I need to find some really good exercises that burn the most calories and concentrate on those. I am trying to learn to run but I get winded pretty quickly so I have tried jogging in short spurts to try to build up to a comfortable pace. I want to be healthy I just have a hard time sticking to it.

If you have trouble sticking to your calories, why the hell whould you NOT take a chance to add calories and still stick to the program? You're setting yourself up for failure; 1- by not using the program the way it's intended to be used, 2- by letting your motivation level make choices for you. Doing this has NOTHING to do with motivation. We do it because we HAVE TO. We do it because we are grown adults who understand that our choices have consequences. If you make the right choices, you'll get the positive consequences we want. None of that universal truth has anything to do with how you FEEL, or how motivated you are that particular day.

Your motivation level will rise and fall. That's how it works for all of us, you included, and you already KNOW it, so why even include motivation in your decision making process?

By not wanting to eat your exercise calories, you're showing that you're still using the faulty logic we all started out with, which is that food=bad. It's NOT true. If you just avoid food all the time, you'll crack. You already have, so we can assume that if you do the same thing again, it will have the same result.

If you're constantly having trouble staying within your calories, then eat a little less at each meal. If you normally eat 350 calories for breakfast, eat 300. See, no emotion. No question of how you feel that day. Just you and the numbers. If you eat too much one day, then the next day eat a little less or exercise a little more.

If your husband is any sort of man, he'll put your happiness first, and you shouldn't feel guilty for ONE SECOND about doing what you have to do to take care of yourself.

You have to find something that you enjoy, change it up from time to time, and get into a routine of doing it. I had a hard time getting into a routine to begin with, but now I'm used to it and don't like to miss my days. I'm not a morning person, perhaps your not either. I tend to workout after work before I go home. Good Luck

This "lifestyle" change is what is so hard for me. No one in my household will eat half of this healthy food. They are all very picky and it is hard to make different meals for everyone. My husband is the hardest to get to try new things, and so the kids have begun to follow. So I am back to cooking things they all like, but with canola oil or olive oil and trying to just eat smaller portions. I need to work out more so maybe it won't all stick to me like it use to. I try to eat light at breakfast & lunch most of the time because I know I will over do it a little at dinner with the family. Just not sure how to make all this work to my advantage!

1) Maybe you can learn to make their favorite foods healthier.... you can find ways to make just about anything healthier. Use whole grain breads and pastas for everything. Use whole wheat pitas to make pizzas, make your own breading for "fried" foods using crushed Fiber One cereal and bake the foods instead of fry..... puree veggies into sauces to hide them, use ground turkey instead of ground beef. I bet you could post a topic, " I need a healthy recipe for ........"and you will get tons of recipes and ideas for what that is!
2) Put your kids first here! You aren't doing them ANY favors by letting them follow in daddy's footsteps with their eating habits! They will follow by YOUR example if you set a good one! They will learn to eat healthy foods that you prepare because that is all that you will offer them. They know that they can be picky and refuse to eat right now because they will get what they want. I'm not saying to starve them. But, they WILL eat if they are hungry! And if they only have healthy options and snacks, that is what they will eat! You would be doing your family a BIG favor by changing their bad habits and getting them down a good path now!

And I'm serious, there's a healthy recipe out there for just about anything! Just ask for it! Chicken nuggets, stews, burgers, tacos, pastas.... it can be done! And please dont feel like anyone is bashing you here. We are just trying offer ways of making changes that maybe you hadn't considered!

To deal with your picky eaters, keep trying different things and different recipes until you have things that everyone enjoys. I don't know if you enjoy cooking but for me I like to be able to provide my family with nutritious meals. Believe me, there were a lot of things that ended up in the garbage from first tries, but sometimes I make healthy meals my family devours and they don't even know! I found out my husband likes brussel sprouts, beets, kale chips, and lots of other vegetables I didn't even think of buying before!

This "lifestyle" change is what is so hard for me. No one in my household will eat half of this healthy food. They are all very picky and it is hard to make different meals for everyone. My husband is the hardest to get to try new things, and so the kids have begun to follow. So I am back to cooking things they all like, but with canola oil or olive oil and trying to just eat smaller portions. I need to work out more so maybe it won't all stick to me like it use to. I try to eat light at breakfast & lunch most of the time because I know I will over do it a little at dinner with the family. Just not sure how to make all this work to my advantage!

1) Maybe you can learn to make their favorite foods healthier.... you can find ways to make just about anything healthier. Use whole grain breads and pastas for everything. Use whole wheat pitas to make pizzas, make your own breading for "fried" foods using crushed Fiber One cereal and bake the foods instead of fry..... puree veggies into sauces to hide them, use ground turkey instead of ground beef. I bet you could post a topic, " I need a healthy recipe for ........"and you will get tons of recipes and ideas for what that is!
2) Put your kids first here! You aren't doing them ANY favors by letting them follow in daddy's footsteps with their eating habits! They will follow by YOUR example if you set a good one! They will learn to eat healthy foods that you prepare because that is all that you will offer them. They know that they can be picky and refuse to eat right now because they will get what they want. I'm not saying to starve them. But, they WILL eat if they are hungry! And if they only have healthy options and snacks, that is what they will eat! You would be doing your family a BIG favor by changing their bad habits and getting them down a good path now!

And I'm serious, there's a healthy recipe out there for just about anything! Just ask for it! Chicken nuggets, stews, burgers, tacos, pastas.... it can be done! And please dont feel like anyone is bashing you here. We are just trying offer ways of making changes that maybe you hadn't considered!

Jamie is absolutely right - healthy food is not bland 'diet/rabbit' food that people always seem to make it out to be! My daughter and I eat clean and healthy all of the time - and she prefers it! When she wants a 'burger' we make them on our George Forman grill using ground turkey breast and instead of fatty cheese, we top it with mango salsa!! Our favorite 'cookbook' is Clean Eating magazine - tons and tons of great recipes in nearly every issue! You can find it in the magazine rack in the grocery store, Target or probably even Walmart.

I don't know how hold your kids are but even 6-year olds are able to help in the kitchen. Engage them in helping to make fun meals so they have an investment in what they are going to eat and will be more likely to eat what they helped to prepare! Give the foods 'fun' names - x-ray carrots (because they are good for the eyes), etc. Make it fun! Bonding in the kitchen while making dinner has always been my daughter's favorite part of the day!

Good luck!

I had a rule when my daughter was young - she had to try everything on her plate, three good bites and if she still didn't like it then, she didn't have to eat it. Originally, the girl hated broccoli - but I just kept making it once or so per week with the same deal - take three good bites, to give it a good try. Now, we have broccoli most days of the week because that's all she wants! Just don't make the rule a torture - make it a scientific adventure - you never know if you like something until you give it a good try and you may just be missing out on something good because you didn't try it! We also acted all 'scientific' - move the food around in your mouth so that all of your tastebuds get a good try - describe what it tastes like, etc. Of course, they won't always go for that routine, but you really don't want to make it a torture, but a habit to try out new things.

And you're right - you need to introduce the changes slowly - no one likes being told what to eat and what not to eat. Start out slow and explain why something is good for you or conversely, why something is bad that shouldn't be eaten very often. You could also engage the kids in label reading at the grocery store, helping create the weekly menus and make out the grocery list, etc. You'll get there!

As to your husband, you didn't mention if he also wants/needs to lose weight, but I'm sure you must be concerned that he could be healthier! Guys especially don't like to be told what to eat or what's good for them and sometimes, they just need to hear it from another guy. There's a pretty decent book out called "The Abs Diet" and it's written by one of the editors of Men's Health magazine. It's not really a 'diet' in the deprivation sense of the word - the book really talks about foods, which ones are good for you which ones to stay away from and why. It's a pretty good read (even if it is geared towards guys), so maybe it would help to get it for him?