Supporting MFP friends on very low calorie diets

As someone who often logs very little calorie days, I think nagging them or interrogating them would probably do more harm than good. I think positive encouragement on healthier days would be more beneficial, or just a friendly message of concern.
Personally I have very unhealthy eating habits and I am aware of this but I can't really help how I feel, so nagging me will just make me feel worse. I've been like this for years before joining MFP.

And you can change the calorie goal to under 1200 on the iOS app

I am about as small as you get..I am 4'9 and 117 pounds..MFP puts my calories at 1200 before exercise so yes that is the minimum here..it is also what slimfast puts people on.
BMI on the other hand puts people on less sometimes..my BMI is 968 (extreme burn) to 1248 (Burn) and 1500 to maintain. I still can not see their BMI being lower than the above numbers.
I also know some people are doing that 5:2 (numbers correct?) Where they eat normally for several days and then fast for several days to detoxify the body. I do not buy in to that either.
Anyhow. I do not buy in to mandatory numbers..I believe someone doing 1000 calories and it being healthy good is better than someone doing 1500 on junkfood but I agree with you that some people are extreme and under 1000 is crazy though I never counted my exercise in my calories or the day and tend to strive for 1100 or so ...I guess I should rethink that one and start counting my exercise in my numbers. LOL I could drink juice or something..I am just a rabbit and love salads etc so have a hard to meeting goals.
As far as the people..I tend to nicely suggest that is a bad idea and see how they take it

As a recovered/reformed anorexic, I guess I have a weird perspective on it. ED makes you feel so isolated, alone, and disgusted with yourself. I couldn't bear to pass judgement on someone who already loathes themselves so much. I don't congratulate them for staying under a 800 calorie budget, but I don't condemn them either. They already hate themselves, so I don't feel the need to pile on. If I see them doing something healthy, I encourage them. I understand why most people don't want to associate with them, but at this point in my life, it doesn't trigger me.

I've had different people on my friends list that did the same. They added me, and I didn't know anything about their eating habits, but when I discovered what they were doing I removed them. Because it's triggering, and I also don't understand what are you doing on here if you want to starve yourself.
This is clearly a website that helps and supports people to lose weight the healthy way, it's even written on the first page when you register your own account. To me, people who actually know they don't want to eat enough and still come here to log it in and show it off are just trying to get some kind of attention or reward for how smart they've been to starve themselves.
I have full understanding for people with eating disorders since I've had issues myself, but I didn't come here to log my binges, so I don't see why they should when they starve. The first step to getting better is accepting that you've got a problem, and then you can get all the help in the world, in my opinion.
Most of those people, though, are not people with an history in eating disorders. They're mostly young girls already starting from a low weight, who want to lose weight in a short time, and use models or famous people as inspiration. I've seen this happening several times, so I know it's true. There are people who are actually questioning if they should or not eat an apple on here, and I think it's not okay. If you had an eating disorder you would already know you want to eat that apple, but don't want to, so there's no need to ask if you should or not.

I once used to reassure those people, to make them understant that they didn't need it, that they were worth eating, but in the end they never really cared. Most of them kept being stubborn and didn't even think about saying thank you, no matter what you told them.

First, as had been said, 1 calorie burns are part of TDEE method. 1850 is my TDEE including exercise (That's with working out 5 days per week-- I'm very small :grumble: ) so I don't add exercise calories on top of that.

As for the OP, if you've got people on your list who really have eating disorders it can be heartbreaking trying to help them. I used to try but eventually it just got to be too much. The last one I had on my list deleted me a few months ago for trying to encourage her to see a counselor. She'd been here as long as me (almost 3 years) and had lost and regained the same 40 lbs 3 times through starving and binging.

If you can handle it you can try to help but many people, myself included, find that it's just too emotionally draining.

My other 2 cents: I think when we review a friends food diary we need to not just look at the numbers, but also look at the food choices. Did they eat 3 or more balanced meals? Did they consume fruits and vegetables? A person can easily reach a great caloric intake number with sugary foods and the numbers look good on their diary, while another person may struggle to reach 1000 calories or more per day if they are focusing in fruits and vegetables and watching their carb intake (Diabetics come to mind). It's more than a numbers game.

I disagree-- a person ought to be able to reach their calorie goal easily by making sure they're getting enough fat and protein. When people can't reach 1000 calories it's usually because they're being too restrictive or because they aren't weighing their food and they're eating more than they think.

Also meal timing is pretty much irrelevant and sugar is not the enemy (unless you've got a health issue like diabetes).

My other 2 cents: I think when we review a friends food diary we need to not just look at the numbers, but also look at the food choices. Did they eat 3 or more balanced meals? Did they consume fruits and vegetables? A person can easily reach a great caloric intake number with sugary foods and the numbers look good on their diary, while another person may struggle to reach 1000 calories or more per day if they are focusing in fruits and vegetables and watching their carb intake (Diabetics come to mind). It's more than a numbers game.

on the other hand, healthy = balanced. Eating so much fruit that you struggle to get enough calories, fat or protein isn't healthy either. To give extreme examples, eating nothing but fruit/veg is as unhealthy as eating no fruit/veg at all. One gives you kwashiorkor, the other gives you scurvy. So if someone's struggling to eat enough calories (i.e. way too little like only 1000/day) due to trying to eat a lot of fruit and veg, maybe they need to either eat a bit less fruit and veg so they can fit in some more foods containing protein, essential fatty acids, fat soluble vitamins and calories. They're unlikely to be at risk of kwashiorkor (that's more a risk for extreme fruitarians), but insufficient calories and protein can lead to loss of lean body mass, including reduced bone density which increases the risk of osteoporosis.

Unfortunately there's a lot of dichotomous thinking out there and this can in some cases lead to people swinging from one unhealthy extreme to the other, while what people should be doing is trying to get a balanced diet whereby they get all the nutrients the body needs.

I question them on it. Because occassionally there's a good reason (gastric bypass would fall into that category).

If there's no good reason, and they aren't open to seeing some logic, I remove them from my friends list, because I'm not going to support someone who is pro-ana

This. I think the majority of us on here are here to have a healthy lifestyle, and if there is no medical reason for them to be netting such a low calorie amount, I tend to remove them as friends. I just can't support someone who is doing more damage than good.

My other 2 cents: I think when we review a friends food diary we need to not just look at the numbers, but also look at the food choices. Did they eat 3 or more balanced meals? Did they consume fruits and vegetables? A person can easily reach a great caloric intake number with sugary foods and the numbers look good on their diary, while another person may struggle to reach 1000 calories or more per day if they are focusing in fruits and vegetables and watching their carb intake (Diabetics come to mind). It's more than a numbers game.

I disagree-- a person ought to be able to reach their calorie goal easily by making sure they're getting enough fat and protein. When people can't reach 1000 calories it's usually because they're being too restrictive or because they aren't weighing their food and they're eating more than they think.


Also meal timing is pretty much irrelevant and sugar is not the enemy (unless you've got a health issue like diabetes).

I'm not sure how to continue this thread so here is my attempt. Sorry if it's the wrong way. I will see how this works.

Sugar per say may not be an enemy to many people, but you are very accurate in your acknowledgement of Diabetics. Also I tend to believe that sugar provides empty, quick high energy and quick energy dropping characteristics. Granted we cannot, and probably should not, totally avoid any sugar. It needs to be worked into our plans in moderation. I also agree with filling in with protein and healthy fat. I was not proposing a strict fruit and vegetable diet. Carbs are my primary enemy (focus point) because of the rise in blood sugar that they produce. However I recognize the need for carbs for energy, and the need to exercise to help keep the added blood sugar rise at bay.