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Coworkers and friends not very supportive.



  • redcat72
    redcat72 Posts: 14 Member
    Stick with the positive comments. This is an independent journey and the results are ours to enjoy! Everyone wishes they had your discipline..

    Keep up the good work! :smile:
  • redcat72
    redcat72 Posts: 14 Member
    Well put!
  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
    If someone tells me I'm too thin, too obsessive, whatever I really have to bite my tongue not to say you're fat and don't care back to them. Now if you are being obsessive in front of them it can get annoying. I've worked with people who go on and on about the diet they're on, the workouts they do, how many calories are in this and that. It's about as interesting as listening to stories about the cute poopie someone's kid made. Co workers are co workers. People you are obliged to spend at least 8 hours a day with whether you like it or not. I find the less they know about my personal life the better.

    For friends either straight out tell them to knock it off or find new friends because if they can't see it hurts you to make stupid comments then they aren't really friends unless it's the same as I said above and you are obsessively driving them nuts with calorie counting and talking about your diet and exercise.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
    I can speak to co-workers being supportive. My family is very supportive of healthy lifestyles. I once had an entire table of co-workers pressuring me to eat a piece of strawberry cake. I had a very satisfying lunch and I was full, but I also did consider the calories. I worked with a bunch of teenagers at the time in a treatment centre.

    While most of my coworkers were pressuring me to eat the cake, I loudly announced to the teens that "This is what peer pressure looks like kids", and they all stopped pretty quickly, even though I said it in a jokingly matter and everyone had a laugh. One of my co-workers pointed out that it is because everyone else feels bad if I dont eat the cake, she knew EXACTLY the psychology behind the pressure. She herself struggled with her weight - and to my surprise, I later found out, she used to be over weight as all by about 100lbs. Interestingly enough, she was one of the coworkers adding pressure.

    I NEVER count calories infront of coworkers. If there is cookies in the room, I either have one and estimate the calories or I say "No I dont want one". If they continue to pressure me, I just say it again "No I am fine, I do not want one". There is nothing wrong with you saying NO - dont worry about their feelings, they will live if you do not eat the candy.
  • skyegsd
    I get what you are going through completely!! I get a lot of flack for counting calories. I however, have an even further complication. I have been eating gluten free for the last 6 months due to terrible stomach issues, so not only do I count calories but there is an entire multitude of food I won't go near under any circumstances as it contains gluten. Most people at work know that I can't eat Gluten, we have potlucks quite frequently and people are always bringing in treats for the office. December will be exceptionally bad for that I'm sure... Most people don't give me a lot of of trouble for passing up on food as probably 95% of the time it contains gluten. But I do have a select few co-workers who are constantly giving you a hard time about watching what you eat, and one of them happens to sit in the cubicle right beside me. Eats whatever she wants, always tells me how delicious it is, and even buys the crap and leaves it on her desk. I often find myself cringing when I see the type of food she eats, so in a way it almost motivates me more. I see her eating lasagne and garlic toast sopping in butter for lunch, and I look at my well-prepared grilled chicken salad that I prepared ahead of time (that also tastes great), but will help me achieve the results I want.

    I have quite a few co-worker who are in the same boat either doing weight watchers or counting calories. This can also be annoying as they feel they know way more about weight loss than me and I am constantly told that if I am eating over 1200 calories I must not be able to lose weight... V8 smack moment!!! This frustrates me even more than the co-workers telling me to stuff my face with bad food.

    I am also getting married next month and still want to lose a few more vanity pounds, as we will be getting married in the Bahamas. I personally don't need to justify my eating habits to anyone!
  • seb3k
    seb3k Posts: 14 Member
    Personally i don't expect any support from my co-workers so it is not irritating no matter what they say. There is a time in a life when your inner strenght and motivation is so big that you don't need any help to achieve your goals. Its all inside you and its all up to you. Just believe in yourself.

  • Skrib69
    Skrib69 Posts: 687 Member
    I would never tell co-workers I'm dieting. And I wouldn't ask what's in stuff either. Just eat what you want and log it as best you can.

    While asking how food is prepared should be a positive sign, it's not. It's seen as being trite.

    Some strategies are, "I just ate a snack", "I'm not hungry right now", "no thanks", "I'll try some in a while, I'm busy right now", or, if their *kitten*, I'll go get a plate and when they're not looking, throw it away. I've had to do that a number of times because they won't let up.

    Whilst there is nothing wrong with what other posters have said, I think this gets to the root of the issue. By being obvious about what you are doing, it is setting you apart from the crowd and effectively rubbing their noses in their own lifestyle. I would be less concerned about what is in things, and more concerned about being discrete. If you want the pizza, have the pizza and log it when no-one is looking. If you don't, or are not sure, then politely decline. Occasionally we have a box of chocolates in the office so I would accept 1, and then just say a 'no thanks' to any more. It took them a few months to even realise I was losing weight. People don't like change and will go to extraordinary lengths to maintain the status quo. If you become more discrete, the status quo should return in a short while and then your lifestyle change will be forgotten. It won't be instant. To get an instant result I think you would need to be rude and would probably get yourself fired!
  • brower47
    brower47 Posts: 16,356 Member
    Why do people even tell acquaintances that they are losing weight?

    Stop making a big deal about your weight loss to people and people will stop making a big deal about your weight loss to you.

    Or get thicker skin since it sounds like everyone is just paying you compliments anyway.

    "Everyone keeps telling me I don't need to lose weight because I look awesome! Geez people! Support me!"
    *first world problems
  • coolonedee
    coolonedee Posts: 36 Member
    This happens to me too. I work in the "Nutrition world" and at lunch the main topic is food, restrauants, diet, exercise... I get comments like "that's all you are going to eat?" and "that's not enough!" What they don't see is that I ate a small snack a few hours ago and am having a lite lunch. It gets frustrating and old to explain it every stinking day but people comment just to comment and I respond with a light hearted response. And some days if I don't want to hear it (along with all the other dribble talk at lunch :)haha...I just skip eating with others and do my own thing. I do notice that when I talk to too many people about my weight loss journey I get de-railed, especially after a 5-7# weight loss...grrr. I know I'm the one de-railing myself. This time I'm going to try the advice above and keep my journey to myself and only share with those who are supportive. I need to work on quieting the urge to explain myself when I decline the junk food that goes around the office. Good Luck and be well!
  • ncqueenbee
    ncqueenbee Posts: 147 Member
    How about just saying "no thanks, I'm not hungry or I just had a snack etc" You seem to be the one bringing up the calorie counting issue not your coworkers. I have been counting calories for several months now and manage to politely decline food at work without having people push food at me. I really don't need my coworkers support or not, my weight and diet is not their concern. I don't feel the need to tell them about it, and make them think I am trying to make someone feel bad about what they are or are not eating. Live your own life and stop worrying about what other people think and do.

    You took the words right outta my mouth! It is not their JOB to support you. Why do you think these people who are our co-workers, not family, not friends owe you anything? You are probably making them feel as if you're looking down your nose at them and judging what they are eating. Just say "no thanks" and move on. I am familiar enough with foods to know what I can and cannot eat without asking how many calories it contains. If someone has a b-day and the office brings in a cake, I know full well that I'm going to pass depending upon where I am with my goals.
  • kat65
    kat65 Posts: 124 Member
    Don't hate your co-workers.

    1. For your height, you can weigh between 125 and 145 (small frame on the lower end and medium frame on the higher end). So, to them, you aren't fat. In reality, you are in a good zone.

    2. The fact that you are in the zone of your weight area, they will think you are obsessed.

    3. I you are in your weight zone and are trying to be more fit, you make them feel bad for not caring about their size and appearance.

    4. You have to please yourself so just ignore them. Make up some funny comment that you could say about wanting to feel good about yourself and being in optimum shape and walk away.

    Keep up the good work!!!!!
  • coolonedee
    coolonedee Posts: 36 Member
    "My response was "I'm not interested in eating 2,500+ calories for dinner today", and then they all shut up. "

    Great one!!! I'm going to use that!
  • lisalsd1
    lisalsd1 Posts: 1,520 Member
    I think it often makes other people feel badly about their own weight when someone else is losing weight (no matter whether the person losing weight is slightly overweight or obese). It's not necessarily jealousy (sometimes it is though).

    I think it hurts people even worse when they see that the other person CAN lose weight. I had a friend...we were both overweight kids. We started losing weight around the same time. She yo-yoed for years, and I was able to keep the weight off. She would often make "excuses" for why I was able to keep the weight off and she was not.

    I know she wasn't jealous; I feel like she was more ashamed of herself. It's just easier to accept that people are going to try to sabotage you (sometimes intentionally, sometimes unintentionally). Just do you, and try to ignore other people's comments.
  • Tymeria
    So when i started my weight loss journey in late September, I was 151 lbs. My goal weight is about 130-132 and the last time I weighed in (November 16th) I was 144. So I was never really morbidly obese at 5'6'' and it's just been a few aesthetic pounds I wanted to lose.
    My immediate family has been supportive and telling me how good of a job I've done, but my coworkers keep telling me I am crazy and don't need to lose weight, to "eat the d*mn chocolate", and to stop counting calories. Granted, they all have between 25-75 lbs to lose. My friends are telling me that I am fine, and since I am not obese, I am better off than most of the country. A few of my friends call me "obsessed" (and not in a joking way, they say it seriously and sort of concerned sounding) because I count all of my calories and spend money on the gym, fitbit, and my weight bench set at home.
    Then there are the friends that are telling me that if I keep weight training, I am going to look like a man and be gross.

    My boyfriend is very supportive of me and every day he tells me how fantastic I look. It's really bothering me that people can't be supportive, especially the people I spend a lot of my time with. I KNOW I am not "huge" but that doesn't mean I can't want to lose some weight and get healthier. I don't get told I look sick or anything like that, but people downplay all my efforts and try to make it seem like I have a disorder or something for wanting to be active and healthy. I am a registered nurse too, so my coworkers should be more supportive in my efforts (well, at least I think).

    Am I the only one dealing with this? I am irritated right now.

    First, I would like to say that you are NOT alone! I was in the very same situation as you not that long ago. I was stuck around 150 lbs or so and wanted to get to 135 (which is about the middle of my ideal weight - 5'5" female). My husband had recently started an extreme caloric restriction diet (think emulating gastric bypass surgery with willpower and calorie tracking alone) and I wanted to be supportive of him while losing that last bit of weight I had been hanging onto. As a side note I weighed 250 lbs when I got married at 20. I lost weight in phases throughout the next 12 years, ending with this last round of caloric restriction. I am now 32 and surpassed my goal. I am around 125 lbs now and have increased my muscle mass and definition by a lot. My friends and co-workers sometimes tell me that they worry about me because I still keep a pretty strict food diary and workout 4-6 days a week. I also have the same kind of issues as skyegsd. I have been a vegetarian for close to 8 years. I haven't eaten eggs (I am intolerant, which causes extreme stomach/gastric distress) for probably 7 1/2 years and I haven't eaten sweets in probably 10 years (except for the occasional exception, in small amounts, like my birthday or anniversary).

    I think there are two reasons that people in your inner circle are either unsupportive or concerned. The first being that when you lose weight, usually the persons face becomes fairly gaunt at first. Giving the impression that you are not being healthy. This will eventually resolve itself after your body adjusts to your weightloss. Or at least this has been my experience as well as my husbands (he lost 209 lbs in about 1 1/2 years). The other reason, in my opinion/experience, is that the person feels jealous that you are doing something they feel that they can't. Most people don't like to see others be better at something than they are. A lot of people also don't tolerate difference (of eating, beliefs, exercise, etc.) very well and either intentionally or subconsciously try to get you to conform to their "norm".

    Try not to let it bother you! I still struggle with this and find myself getting defensive about my eating and exercise habits. When/if I realize this is happening, I do my best to just step back and say to myself that we all have different opinions and ideas about what is healthy and I need to do what is right for me and my body!

    I hope this helps you feel less alone in your pain and frustration. Know that you are not alone and true friends will be supportive of you as long as they know you are not damaging yourself. So talk to your friends about what is hurting you. :)
  • doctorsookie
    doctorsookie Posts: 1,084 Member
    I don't say anything unless people ask what I'm doing to lose weight. So far I've gotten nothing but support and people don't feel bad when I refuse treats offered. Sometimes I accept or if it's a birthday I'll take a donut or a slice of cake but I won't always eat it. I will either take it home and eat it later when I can look up nutritional info or I will give it to my kids. Don't feel bad when they don't support you because you are the only one you need approval from. If they want to be overweight that is your choice. Just politely decline and say you are not hungry or you are going out later and don't want to spoil your appetite. You have the right to say no and they need to respect that or maybe you need to report them for workplace violence. That will give them the hint to BTFO. Congrats on your progress and keep up the good you are doing for your body.
  • oc1timoco
    oc1timoco Posts: 272 Member
    Some people hate success stories and love train wrecks. If they don't support you in your presence, imagine what they say behind your back.
  • ksmithnh
    ksmithnh Posts: 68 Member
    I run into the same thing at work... not people telling me I dont need to diet, but people constantly trying to get me to indulge in things that I dont need. I really think its because they plan on eating it, and it makes them feel better and less guilty if they get others to join in. So irritating!
  • husseycd
    husseycd Posts: 814 Member
    I get this too. I'm 5'5.5" and started at 138. I'm now 128 and smack in the middle of a healthy bmi. Quite honestly, though I'm fairly happy where I am, I wouldn't mind dropping my bf a little. I have no problem dismissing coworkers or friends comments. I also will tell people my stats. If they say anything, I literally shrug it off. Like, thanks for your opinion. Don't care. They don't say much any more.
  • ImtheOnethatsCool
    ImtheOnethatsCool Posts: 212 Member
    Whenever I apply for a job, I know a major part of that job is providing moral support to my coworkers toward whatever personal pursuits they have in their lives.