Complete Mental reversal

Sorry to hear that you feel that way. I know you said it bothers you for someone to praise you but you have accomplished what so many others are struggling to do. The past is gone and over. Do not dwell on it there is nothing that can change it. This moment and every minute to come you have the choice to make it however you want. Your change has not been just physical but mental as well. Try to find new friends or new interest that involve old or current friends and family. Do not fret over a few pounds gained. You have found your way of losing weight and know what to do in that case. You mentioned that you felt guilty and tried to force the food back up. Its a slippery path to start on and you may need to seek professional guidance on that along with the confusion of everything else. There is still so many possibilities for the future. You just need to recognize it and see what everyone else sees in you.

There are underlying, deeper issues here than an online forum is capable of helping you with. If I were you, and were able to, I would definitely seek some sort of therapy or counseling. Honestly, I wish I could myself. I know I certainly could use some. I have a horrible relationship with food, and it's a battle every day to try and make it a healthy one.

you need to look after your mental health as well as your physical health

here are some suggestions that may help:

- don't be too strict on yourself. You can get away with eating all kinds of foods, and going to parties and social events and still lose weight. Social eating is a human emotional need, we evolved with food sharing, it's a behaviour that goes back millions of years, so it's not something that should be considered an unnecessary luxury. Food puritanism is as bad as sex puritanism. Sex is for bonding and is supposed to be enjoyed, it's not just for reproduction. Food is for bonding and is supposed to be enjoyed, it's not just for nutrition. So give yourself permission to enjoy eating, and that includes enjoying eating in social situations.

- aim for the long term. If you lose weight a little bit more slowly because you're taking the opportunity to enjoy eating more, then so what? You're more likely to succeed in the long term, your mental health is better, and you're still going to get there in the end and when you do, you're more likely to maintain it due to the fact it's easier to stick to long term.

- if you don't have enough calories in your daily allowance to enjoy foods you really really want to eat, consider changing your goal a little for slightly slower weight loss, to give you a bigger daily allowance. OR do more exercise so you can fit more food in. If your calorie goal is too low then that's going to negatively impact your energy levels, mood and all sorts. The psychological effects of undereating kick in long before the physical effects do. In some cases where low mood and mental health issues are caused by chronic undereating, just simply raising the daily calorie goal is enough to restore their mood and energy levels (although it's not going to happen overnight, you have to stick with it).

- for special occasions, just forget about your calorie goal and relax and enjoy eating. So long as you don't do this too often, it's not going to stop you losing weight. If you're going to have a lot of social eating events, then there are a lot of strategies for eating with friends or at restaurants you can employ to stay within your calorie goals. While I was losing fat, I had a meal of not counting calories at least once in most weeks, and still lost weight. And this meal included take-away of various nationalities, e.g. McDonalds, Iranian food (which is very high in fat and carbs, at least the restaurant versions are) and Lebanese takeaways (shawarma wraps, sheesh tawook etc, also high in fat and carbs). I don't care that the weight loss was probably slower as a result, I'm at goal and maintaining without tracking my food.

- don't stress about gaining weight.... fat is gained and lost slowly. Even if you gain 3-4lb overnight, it's most likely from sodium water weight and will go away again in a day or two. You have to eat 3500 calories more than your TDEE to gain just one lb of fat. That's not going to happen overnight. Even if you overeat every day for a week and gain a pound of actual fat, you can lose it again, the same way you're losing fat now (or slower than you're losing it now, if you want to make it more sustainable)

- make sure you're getting enough fat, carbs and vitamin D (which is a fat soluble vitamin) - lack of these can have a negative impact on mental health. this is why the emphasis on a balanced diet (i.e. enough protein, fat and carbs but staying within a calorie goal (i.e. the IIFYM approach) is better than low fat or low carb diets. Your body needs all the nutrients in the right balance for optimal functioning.... and your brain is an organ in your body, and needs to be nourished just like any other. Also, I listed nutrients that are known to have an impact on mental health, it's likely several others are as well but are less known to have.


If these kinds of things don't help you to get your old self back, then consider mental health professionals. Men can get eating disorders too, and it's better to nip that kind of thing in the bud than wait until it's full blown and your physical health is damaged before you get help.