Confidence lowest

CheeksBryant
CheeksBryant Posts: 193 Member
in Motivation and Support
I've lost a total of 74 lbs. I have 26 to my goal weight, but I've already decided to add another 30 to this. I've been obese my entire life. Believe it or not I have always been confident in myself and never had issues with it. However, now that I'm the smallest I've been in my adult life, I feel much more self conscious and less confident. I mean to the point of wanting to cry sometimes. Anyone else experience this?

Replies

  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    nope. the more in shape i've gotten, the more my confidence has gone up. i revel in what i can do these days, and can't imagine ever gaining weight again, because i love going for bike rides and hikes. i don't ever have to be self-concious when i go swimming any more.

    i don't know why you are having some issues right now, but it happens. you'll move past it.
  • Sherbog
    Sherbog Posts: 1,075 Member
    Yes I have experienced this ......those are the days I go for a walk and breath fresh air. 74 pounds leaves you with a new body to get used to. Not easy as I notice people treat me different and I react different. Sometimes with tears. For me the answer is exercise it away.

    Surround yourself with any supportive friends you have.

    Congrats on your great journey.
  • 2dare2dream
    2dare2dream Posts: 104 Member
    sweety i would think that if you have been obese most of your life then the problem is just you adjusting to the new you. You may think that you are the same person but i would almost guarantee that people around you arent treating you the same. dont get me wrong im not talking bout family and close friends but rather strangers that we deal with everyday in our normal lives whether we are walking the dog or going grocery shopping. Give your self time to adjust to peoples changing attitudes and discovering the new you. major congrats on your success so far and i wish you well x
  • CheeksBryant
    CheeksBryant Posts: 193 Member
    I don't know I guess I have not noticed anyone treating me differently. I've always been a social butterfly, and still am for the most part. I just noticed lately I seem to quite myself more. I am most self conscious with my husband. The crazy thing is, he's been with me through it all. He's never once said anything about my weight and during the weight loss has been my biggest cheerleader. Ugh just very frustrated with myself.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    i always think it is because you really dont know that body anymore and in a way it's like living with a stranger. It's hard to adjust. I'm glad youre recognizing it now I wish i had known that it was going to happen to me long ago before I regained all the weight plus some. You are doing great give it time, watching the changes in your body, observe, and be proud of your hard work. Best of luck!
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
    I've lost a total of 74 lbs. I have 26 to my goal weight, but I've already decided to add another 30 to this. I've been obese my entire life. Believe it or not I have always been confident in myself and never had issues with it. However, now that I'm the smallest I've been in my adult life, I feel much more self conscious and less confident. I mean to the point of wanting to cry sometimes. Anyone else experience this?

    That is a huge change. It takes a while for your brain to get used to its new self. It isn't used to looking in a mirror and seeing someone that looks different. I am going through the same feelings you are. I put so much time and effort into changing myself, and sometimes I am just completely drained.

    You look incredible. Don't give up.
  • joyincincy
    joyincincy Posts: 228 Member
    I would agree with all the posters regarding the fact that you are just not used to your new body yet. However, with severe weight loss comes changes in hormones as well. Just be mindful of how you are feeling & if it doesn't change soon then perhaps a visit to the doc for some blood tests might be in order. I have only lost 17 lbs (quite a bit for a 5'3" frame) but my TOM has not been consistent at all in the last few months. Just a "normal" side effect according to the doc (for me, this is not to say everyone should think this way, they should see a doc like I did:) & should regulate itself after a while, or until I am in maintenance phase for awhile.

    Good luck & be happy with your progress so far. You look incredible & you need to appreciate what you have accomplished & consider what you should still accomplish & for what reasons. :flowerforyou:
  • MyFoodGod
    MyFoodGod Posts: 184 Member
    Losing weight does not solve all of our problems. Perhaps you have some expectations that haven't materialized? You may not realize that. You could also be depressed. Common during the holidays.
  • CheeksBryant
    CheeksBryant Posts: 193 Member
    Definitely having to get used a "new body" but I'm going to press through it
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    i can understand this. extra weight is pretty much a big cushion of safety. now you don;t have it to hide behind. that is definitely an issue i have. i know i feel safer to be myself when i'm bigger than when i'm small.
  • uconnwinsnc
    uconnwinsnc Posts: 1,054 Member
    Losing weight does not solve all of our problems. Perhaps you have some expectations that haven't materialized? You may not realize that. You could also be depressed. Common during the holidays.

    Common for overweight people***
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
    Yes, I do understand. You can't believe your new self. You want to cry out of relief and you feel self-conscious. It is hard to be around people who want to be where you are now. You still can't believe how far you have come. (Yay!) It is conflicting emotions. I remember one good cry after a massive workout when I didn't feel like. I knew I had turned the page from my old me to the new me. It was very emotional at the time. My advice is to feel every moment, you will adjust but these memories of success will help you maintain your goals. I think you are awesome for getting so far!
  • CheeksBryant
    CheeksBryant Posts: 193 Member
    Thank you everyone for the advice and encouragement!
  • jaredmcfitness
    jaredmcfitness Posts: 14 Member
    As your metabolism changes and your body adjusts to new hormone levels it can also wreak havoc on your emotions. Pay a lot of attention to your feelings, don't push yourself too hard, don't beat yourself up, and find good passtimes that make you happy and don't stress you. Also, be happy with who you are and the gains you've made! That's incredible!
  • fannyfrost
    fannyfrost Posts: 756 Member
    There are oh so many reasons that this is happening:

    1- hormones
    2- your body is not just changing, you are changing you as well, your activity, your activity, it has an impact
    3- consciously you may not notice, but people may be paying more attention to you. Physically, etc, which would make you more self conscious
    4- Weight was an easy scape goat, if someone didn't like you it was easy to hide behind the fat.
    5- you have been overweight your whole life, may be that you defined yourself as the fun "fat" girl (this is not meant as bad, just a way to say it easily) and now you need to redefine yourself.

    A new look does equal a new you, even if you don't think so. The physical change includes emotional changes and other changes. You are in some many ways redefining yourself and at this point in your weight loss you should be feeling a different. Face how you feel, don't run from it, express it and share. This will help you find what has changed and where you are going!!!

    Great job and you can keep it up. Facing how you feel is a big step in the process.

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