Binge-eating disorder recoveries?

Options
Errkuhh
Errkuhh Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
I have OCD and have a binge-eating disorder and i'm finding it supremely difficult to focus on trying to lose the weight I regained from the bingeing. I try to eat healthily, but I always find myself supremely anxious and wanting specific foods when I am stressed or even slightly emotional. I've tried some medication to suppress the obsessive tendencies, but I found that it made me apathetic. It changed my personality so much that I couldn't stand to be on the medication any longer. I know I should have tried different medication to see if it would work differently with me, but I just couldn't stand the thought of being like that again. If you all could share your stories, even if they are successes, maybe it could be helpful. Thanks in advance.

Replies

  • stephaniemcaulay
    stephaniemcaulay Posts: 1 Member
    Options
    Hey! I have had a binge-eating disorder for years and what I've learned that is that recovery is a process and some days are harder than others. I track in here when I binge and on what so that I am aware of what I'm doing. It is definitely a struggle sometimes and I know how hard it is to resist but I just focus on my goal of recovery and that helps. Good Luck on your recovery and I'm around if you need any support.
  • Graysha1
    Graysha1 Posts: 3
    Options
    I don't know that i have binge eating disorder but i can say i binge and it is hard. I am actually really hungry and especially at night. I have been seeing a doctor for this and he said the truth is that the heavier you are or if you are not getting enough sleep (I have sleep apnea) your body prodduces a hormone which causes you to be hungry. This week was hard I actually gained weight. So there are a few things I plan to do this week. I am going to schedule in a 15 min break in the morning and afternoon to take a walk -- it will help me move more and gives you energy. My goal is to exercise at least 20 min 7 days a week. I start low so i don't feel overwhelmed--most days i take an hour class but most days is not good enough and I am giong to ensure 8 hours of sleep and track everything to keep myself aware. i hope that helps, good luck to you. The one thing i have also stopped doing is beating myself up. if i mess up i accept it and move on. I also celebrate every single step in the correct direction.
  • OtchCake82
    OtchCake82 Posts: 22
    Options
    Hello,

    I also have binge eating disorder. I've had it just about my whole life - it runs in my family... lucky me ;)! Last summer I weighed 187 pounds (I'm 5'8") and I was determined to find a way to lose the weight and stop binging (I binged on average about twice a week or more). I started taking OxyElite Pro (their old formula they no longer sell) and it worked wonders for me! I was able to stick to a 1200 to 1500 calorie per day plan and I lost weight rapidly! By November I weighed 157! I felt amazing!! Anyway, I started watching a baby for a friend in November and I needed to be awake by 6 AM - I am not a morning person by any means! My old job I had worked at for 9 years started at 1 PM (ideal shift for me). Well, I started using food to give myself energy a few days a week when I really needed it. By February I weighed 185!!! I couldnt believe I put the weight on that fast! It makes sense, though. I would start my morning with my healthy bowl of oats with milk and a tablespoon of peanut butter, but by midmorning or noon I would totally blow my diet. I would start shoving in food as fast as I could. It was insane... and totally out of my control! I was eating when I wasn't even hungry - I didn't even really want a lot of the food I ate! As I was eating one thing I was already thinking about the next thing I was going to shove in my mouth. Well, it got to a point where I would tell myself that I will do better tomorrow, but today I have to shove as much food in as possible so I get rid of the cravings I'll have... except tomorrow never came - I did this every day for over 6 months! Two days ago I got on the scale and couldn't believe it - I'm up to 215 pounds! Yikes!

    I've realized I can't do this on my own. This is a disorder that needs treatment. I had 13 Phentermine pills left over from my last doctor's visit and I started taking them yesterday. Yesterday was my very first successful day eating a normal amount of food in a very long time! The temptation was still there to eat whatever I wanted but it was much easier to control myself with this medicine. I know once I get through a week of eating a normal amount of food it will be easier to supress the desire to binge without medicine - I got to this point by the end of last summer and didn't need supplements or medication on a daily basis to control myself. I did just fine and lost the weight, I just needed something to get me started and help reset my body.
  • tyleeloo30
    tyleeloo30 Posts: 67
    Options
    Working on recovering. Definitely a challenge! Feel free to add me as a friend if you want some support, I'm happy to help in any way I can. You can also keep me accountable in my journey to lose weight and stop bingeing! :)
  • xxsarahjwxx
    xxsarahjwxx Posts: 29
    Options
    I used to binge constantly. And I mean tens of thousands of calories almost every day. There were several things that I started doing that helped me to control it:

    1) I reduced the amount of sugar that I ate. I once tried a low carb diet and within a week, I didn't crave food at all. It was like a miracle for someone who used to think about food non-stop to not be bothered by it at all. Now I'm not saying you should go on a low carb diet but definitely try to get the sugar out. It will be murder for the first week but after that, you will no longer ride the sugar rollercoaster and will find your cravings much easier to control if they don't disappear completely. I now try to keep my carbs below about 150 grams (using MFP) because any higher and I start to feel those cravings coming back. I fill up on protein as much as I can which makes me so full that I can't even think about any more food. I eat tonnes of veg and one or two pieces of fruit a day.
    2) I became conscious of my triggers. I sat down and really thought about why I start eating. My number one trigger is boredom. If I'm busy all day, I don't think about food at all but if I'm just bumming around at home all day then it's constantly on my mind. So I stopped bumming around so much and when I am just chilling, I think to myself "Yes I accept that I could have a biscuit but I choose not to because I am strong and don't need it. I know that one will lead to a lot more.". I think it's the reduced sugar that makes me feel strong enough to do this. Another trigger is obviously high stress/anxiety but I try to relieve it other ways now because I know that binging will only make me feel worse.
    3) I got all temptation out of the house when I needed to really focus on getting back to looking after myself. My boyfriend was a bit pissed off but within a week or so, I felt strong enough to start allowing it back in the house. I still limit it though and I won't let him buy any of my favourites!
    4) MFP!!! The first day I joined, I was desperate. When I binged, I would completely separate my mind from the food and would not even consider for a second what it was doing to me. All i could think about was food. But when I logged in and wrote down what I ate on that day (it wasn't even a huge binge by my normal standards!) I felt shocked and appalled that I could do that. It was staring me in the face, exactly what I was doing to myself. I logged consistently and was binge-free for a week and then when I went away for the weekend and stopped logging, i starting binging again and it took me a couple of weeks to get myself back on here to face up to what i had done. But now, I log every day, it's my lifeline and it gives me the control that i need to take responsibility for what i eat, rather than letting my brain detach from my body and just stuffing my face without thinking.
    5) I took responsibility for what I had done to my body. I made a graph of my weight over the last 8 years of binging and dieting and added photos of myself at that weight to all the highs and lows on the graph. It really hit me what I had done to myself. Every diet i had been on ended up with me losing a couple of stone and then binging non-stop for the 6 months after that! So this time it's different. I have given myself the highest calorie limit I have ever set myself and I work out 6 or 7 days a week because I enjoy it and it gets me out of the house! The hardest part for me is making sure I don't go too far under my calorie limit because I know those habits will lead to a binge eventually. I was anorexic before my binge eating started and I know that the severe calorie restriction is what started this spiral in the first place. However, once I had seen the graph, that was all I needed. I took the time to forgive my past self for what I had done and started to look to the future and decided I would never yo-yo again.

    Hope that helps. I know what it's like. I have such a black-or-white mindset. I'm either "dieting" or binging and I had to really force myself to snap out of that and take the middle road. Now I take note of foods that make me crave more food and I'm extra mindful when I eat them to make sure I control the urge after. If I'm stressed or upset, I might avoid that particular food.

    I thought I would never be able to control it and part of me still thinks that I could easily go back to it but I know what to do now to get myself back on track.
  • lakerschick275
    lakerschick275 Posts: 43 Member
    Options
    Hey! Do you have any suggestions of what to eat or what a day of food might look like? I used to struggle with anorexia turned binge-eating turned bulimia and now just trying to eat "normally" . Any tips are appreciated :)
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
    Options
    bump
  • caffeinekandie
    caffeinekandie Posts: 40
    Options
    I'm recovered from an ED that started with binge eating, going into EDNOS (periods of extreme restriction then bouts of bulimia), then just straight up bulimia. We're talking multiple binge purge sessions daily (often more than 10-15 times). I also have OCD, and a few other issues that can make life a bit interesting.

    You mentioned anxiety. Anxiety and anger were the roots of my issue. I actually went to a day treatment program for borderline personality disorder-got some great new coping skills and was able to recover from my ED. It was a happy bonus actually.

    Medications are trail and error, and yeah it can really really suck. I've been on a few that made me apathetic. I've been on a few that made me manic and sent me into the hospital. I've been on one that made my mind feel great but the physical side effects hurt so badly I cried several times a day. Another I was doped out of my mind and slept 16 hours a day and gained 30lbs very quickly (common with that medication). Now I'm not on anything daily, but I do have Ativan to help when the anxiety gets too bad (I still get panic attacks). But I focus on things that help me reduce my anxiety and do those instead of the urge to binge (or my other urges to self destruct). I do encourage you to try something else from a different family of drugs because they are all so different, especially if you can't seem to get level on your own. And medications don't have to be forever, they can be until you are able to cope better through other strategies.

    It started out with memorizing mantras to repeat to myself out loud/in my head when I wanted to self destruct. Because often we can't think of those things when we are in the midst of it.

    Also figuring out a list of common triggers so you know when it happens or you feel the urge you can go down that list mentally (or physically if you write it down) can help you fight the urge.

    Then I came up with a list of distractions-one that worked for me was watching my favorite childhood movie (Beauty and the Beast) or South Park. Or going out and getting a cup of tea and going to visit the ducks. Other people hold onto ice cubes. Sometimes I clean, but I hate cleaning so I must really be out of options before that looks good to me. I've had some success with the 5-4-3-2-1 method too (http://www.chuckholton.com/54321.html)

    A great thing that got me over the hump was writing down what is making me anxious one day a week-say take 10 minutes on a Tuesday morning. Then seal it away and don't look at it till the next Tuesday. Go over your list and cross out what you aren't worried about anymore, and add in what you are. It helps you to see that things don't stay static and worries do go away.

    I find exercise helps me stay positive. Mediation does not work for me in the slightest. Find something that helps you get lost from your own thoughts for awhile. Somethings that work for others: painting, playing music, writing, reading, knitting. Some activity that you can get lost in when the urge to just eat takes over.

    I also learned how to set manageable tasks, as I tended to always go for the big picture. Like right now I would have said "I want to loose 40lbs." A good goal, but it doesn't give me a plan. So I break it down. This week my goals are:
    1. Log everything I eat Monday-Friday (and if I do it Saturday and Sunday go me)
    2. Try to move outside for at least 30 minutes every day (Nov was a bad month mental health wise, and I ended up hermiting, not even going to the store, so now my goal is trying to get outside/at least exercise inside for some period of time)

    I have another goal that's not weight loss specific so I don't fell overwhelmed by trying to get back into shape. I don't do more than 3 goals a week because that is manageable and I don't want to disappoint myself. A good way to keep yourself accountable is to also write the goals down and check in a week later. I don't do that anymore but it really helped make it a habit for me.

    Can I say I'm perfect everyday, no. Bad days happen. Sometimes bad weeks happen. But I've learned that a bad day or a bad week doesn't mean I'm bad. It means I need to figure out what triggered it and find a way to get back on track. I'm actually in the process of doing that now (anxiety/depression got me off kilter).

    My case manager at treatment had a sign in her office that I like to think about when I get down on something I did in the past, or didn't do "Don't judge me by my past-I don't live there anymore." It really helps me to think of that when I start to dwell on mistakes/bad choices I've made. I keep thinking I should print off the saying and hang it on my fridge or the bathroom mirror.

    If you (or anyone) wants to talk some more about this feel free to friend me. I'm not perfect, but my friends/family can tell you I'm like a new person from who I was before.
  • xxsarahjwxx
    xxsarahjwxx Posts: 29
    Options
    In terms of what to eat, my meals usually look like this:
    Breakfast: Slice of toast with peanut butter (I'm never hungry first thing so my breakfast is quite small)
    Mid-morning: Protein bar
    Lunch: Wholemeal pitta bread with about 100g turkey and some salsa, apple and orange
    Afternoon: About 20 pistachios, maybe a couple of crackers with cheese spread
    Dinner: Chicken breast coated in cajun spices, a big plate of veg, a decent portion of yoghurt (150g)

    If I workout then i have a protein shake after. I usually aim for 1630 cal and try to keep my carbs below about 130-150g. Any more and I just crave more carbs.
  • ltaylor9597
    ltaylor9597 Posts: 49
    Options
    Thanks so much for sharing everyone. It has been so good to go through and read all the posts. I am just now realizing after years of constantly beating myself up that I have BED. I am too shy and embarrassed to even talk to a doctor or therapist about it right now. I have been visiting many threads on the site trying to meet more people and hear more stories of successful recoveries. I especially love seeing so many people that are winning and have lost weight despite having this disorder. It is so reassuring to read everyone's stories only to realize that I am not alone. I feel like I have been "talking the talk" for the last 8-9 years and then sneaking off to binge whenever I can. Being "real" is a truly scary, but, freeing experience.

    Anyhow, I just wanted to say thanks. For someone new to this whole journey you all are inspirations.
  • jesspi68
    jesspi68 Posts: 292
    Options
    bump for later
  • MyFoodGod
    MyFoodGod Posts: 184 Member
    Options
    Check out Overeaters Anonymous. They have binge eaters, bulimics, etc.

    There are some great podcasts online. Especially the Las Angels group. Listen to them and check out a meeting nearby, or an online meeting.

    No one will try to sell you anything, they just collect donations but if you are short on funds, you can still go.
  • Cinloykko
    Cinloykko Posts: 117 Member
    Options
    Bumping for later - so many posts I want to read...
    There are binge eating groups on MFP and I've heard that Overeaters Anon helps people who binge too.
    I dont have the disorder but I binge a lot and its connected to my emotions and stress. I'm trying to break this cycle.

Categories