So confused about TDEE... do I need to eat more?

Skinny_Minnie1989
Skinny_Minnie1989 Posts: 7
in Food and Nutrition
I already asked a similar question earlier today, but my online research just confused me even more.

Here are my stats first of all:
Age: 24
Height: 5"2
Start Weight: 57kg (126lbs)
Current Weight: 42,5kg (93,7lbs)

I dont have a proper diagnosis, but I have a problematic relationship with my weight and food, so you might aswell can call it an eating disorder (?).
I recently relocated from Germany to Scotland, so Im not working yet (sedentary lfestyle?) but I work out on the elliptical at least 5 times a week for at least 60 minutes.

Now Im very confused about my activity level. Here on MFP I put in sedentary, and add my exercise calories after every work out. So MFP gives me a TDEE of 1390 calories. I would like to keep my weight between 42 -42,5kg, since Im really scared of gaining (I know I actually have to, but... you know...). I used a few online TDEE calculators and get different numbers, ranging from 1350 to 1980 calories a day.

Ok so MFP suggested me to eat 1200 calories a day, if I want to lose 0,25kg a week. I know, I know... I dont need to lose and certainly should not, but having that troubled relationship with my body Im still utterly scared of gaining. I increased my intake to 1250 calories, which I stick to effortlessly. I dont eat my exercise calories back, but Im trying to get myself to eat at least a few, since I've been netting only about 800-900 lately.

In the last weeks I experienced some huge cravings for chocolate and anything sweet and sugary and had like 3 nights, where I lost control and stuffed my face with about 3500 calories (although this includes 1250 cals from 'normal' meals throughout the day, so I ate about 2250 extra calories from pigging out). The days after those "binges", I exercised a lot more and done between 70 and 100 minutes on the elliptical, eating 1000-1100 calories, so according to MFP I was netting roughly 500.
After beating myself up for this loss of control, I think I can handle those cravings and allow myself a few treats every now and then instead of cutting out everything and ending up like this again.

Im quite aware of what Im doing to my body (malnourished, starvation mode etc.) and Im trying to better myself. Does this mean eating more? As I said a few times, Im scared of gaining, so I tell myself every single day, that I will eat about 1350 calories and if I work out, I'll eat some of the burned calories back... hehe havent been very successful with that so far. Today was the very first day where I worked out for "only" 30 minutes and ate 1386 calories. Well still only netting 1195, but for me this is a big step already!!!

Im just scared/worried that if I start eating more calories every day, I'll gain tons of weight and get "fat". First of all, should I change my activity level? And still add my exercise calories after every work out? Or leave it at sedentary?
Do 1390 calories as TDEE sound realistic? What about the1250 that Im actually eating? Will I gain weight if I eat around 1350 (no matter if its a rest or work out day)?

Ooft, so many questions... I hope I didnt bore anyone :blushing: I know I should probably seek someone professional to talk to, but at this point Im not ready for it yet...if that makes any sense?? I would be very grateful, if anyone out there could give me a little advice on what to do, since Im just confusing myself, with the result, that I do wrong, whatever I could do wrong :embarassed:

:heart: :heart: :heart:

Replies

  • _TastySnoBalls_
    _TastySnoBalls_ Posts: 1,298 Member
    you need therapy honey, seek professional help
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    you need therapy honey, seek professional help
    +1
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    +2

    I'm your height exactly and I look thin at 54kgs although I'm older so you might be OK at say 50 but if you are 42kgs and you lose more you are doing to be close to dying and end up hospitalised or actually die. I know you say you aren't trying to lose more but with eating as little as you are you will lose more for sure. Please get help before that happens :(
  • jennycina93
    jennycina93 Posts: 127 Member
    That is great that you are trying, but you may need additional help and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't know if this helps but I am 5'1" and my TDEE is around 2000 calories and I put in lightly active. I do weight quite a bit more than you but it sounds like we workout about the same amount of time each week so I think our TDEE's should be similar. Good luck on your fitness goals.
  • Skinny_Minnie1989
    Skinny_Minnie1989 Posts: 7
    Thanks everyone so far. I appreaciate every post!! :flowerforyou: Im trying hard to get better and will eat more than my 1250 calories!! I have to take every day as it comes, so my goal for tomorrow is 1350 :ohwell:
  • BeckyMBisMe
    BeckyMBisMe Posts: 215 Member
    eat please! we shouldn't be able to see the ribs in your upper chest! you say you're afraid to gain weight when that is exactly what you need to do. Get the help you need now! And go eat some nice scones and oatmeal with cream and sugar.
  • gigglesinthesun
    gigglesinthesun Posts: 860 Member
    you say you are not ready for therapy, but ask yourself honestly when will you be ready.

    You are already at an unhealthy weight and you can't even get yourself to set up MFP to maintain weight, you have to put it to lose weight, because you are so scared of gaining weight. You are not sedentary if you work out that much. I know that MFP is designed to eat your calories from exercise back, but realistically you aren't going to do that if you are already scared to eat your base calories of 1200 or whatever low number it was.

    Take yourself of the a GP and tell them about your weight issues, so that at the very least they can run some blood tests to see whether you are suffering from any other effects
  • _TastySnoBalls_
    _TastySnoBalls_ Posts: 1,298 Member
    Thanks everyone so far. I appreaciate every post!! :flowerforyou: Im trying hard to get better and will eat more than my 1250 calories!! I have to take every day as it comes, so my goal for tomorrow is 1350 :ohwell:


    seriously though, seek professional help ASAP. Just looking at your profile pic, i can see your ribcage and you look older than what you say. You need to stop with the losing of the weight ideas.
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
    You may have anorexia nervosa, anorexia athletica and binging disorders based on your statements. With that said, you should seek professional treatment.

    You certainly should not maintain your underweight status and should recover weight until you fall safely within a healthy weight range for your height. Your health will not improve if you do not recover enough weight and repair your body.

    In the long run, you're going to need significantly more than 1350 calories to recover weight and reverse the physiological damage you've experienced. For these reasons, recovering anorexics are commonly administered minimal dietary intakes ranging from 2500 to 3500 calories.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    You may have anorexia nervosa, anorexia athletica and binging disorders based on your statements. With that said, you should seek professional treatment.

    You certainly should not maintain your underweight status and should recover weight until you fall safely within a healthy weight range for your height. Your health will not improve if you do not recover enough weight and repair your body.

    In the long run, you're going to need significantly more than 1350 calories to recover weight and reverse the physiological damage you've experienced. For these reasons, recovering anorexics are commonly administered minimal dietary intakes ranging from 2500 to 3500 calories.

    ALL OF THIS^
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    Annnnd, you will need professional guidance to avoid a refeeding illness/injury. I mostly only know about this in cats, but it happens in people too.

    Please, your health is your most important asset. You need to take steps now to protect it. And that involves a doctor and a ED counselor at a minimum.
  • mmmyotwnz
    mmmyotwnz Posts: 119 Member
    I think you are using all of the figures to try to talk yourself out of your biggest fears, to ask someone on here to validate your size and your goals and avoid what you already know. Your brain and body is telling you something. You have already said it in your statement that you know something is wrong but you are not ready to get help. You need help.

    From a mom standpoint I have a small boned 21 yr old daughter. She is 5'2", curvy, eats healthy, gets lots of exercise, wears a size2 and now weighs 117lbs. She is tiny but in a good place. At one point in her life she dropped down to 84lbs, we had to get her professional help and counseling and her look was very similar to your profile pic. She was afraid of gaining an ounce. At this point it doesn't matter what she ate, worked off and what her net calories were, yours and her goals were the same.

    From a mom standpoint, there is a thinner frame, and there is a too thin frame. Please to find a parent/guardian and let them help you find some assistance if you feel you cannot do it on your own. Your body will thank you for it. If someone is telling you "not to get fat" you need to watch what you eat or that 'you could get fat eating that', you may want to examine if that person is telling you with all the love they should have for you.

    No one can expect to your car to drive from the Eastern seaboard to the West coast on one tank of gas, and be upset when it needs more fuel. One would happily fill up the tank to keep the car running.
    The same applies to the human body. One cannot expect it to run day after day and not fuel it properly.
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    eat please! we shouldn't be able to see the ribs in your upper chest! you say you're afraid to gain weight when that is exactly what you need to do. Get the help you need now! And go eat some nice scones and oatmeal with cream and sugar.

    OP, you do need to eat more. You are already underweight - you should be eating around 1400 net just to maintain your current weight. So you need to eat even more than that. If you do a bulk - make an attempt to gain muscle, check out the Gaining Weight forum - then you can gain muscle with the fat and you'll look good doing it. It won't be just adding flab, KWIM?

    But, to the quoted post ... visible ribs in the upper chest mean nothing. You can see mine easily and I'm 5'3", 120 lbs. Perfectly healthy weight, it's just the way my fat is distributed.
  • Skinny_Minnie1989
    Skinny_Minnie1989 Posts: 7
    seriously though, seek professional help ASAP. Just looking at your profile pic, i can see your ribcage and you look older than what you say. You need to stop with the losing of the weight ideas.

    Haha really? Youre the first one to say that. Normally people say I look a lot younger :-P

    But anyway. Thanks a lot everyone! You guys are right. Its hard to admit it but I'll have to stop losing weight.
    I already changed my goals to maintaining at least, which now gives me 1410 calories... its a step, isnt it? I'll try to stick to it!!
    And I'll make an appointment with my GP to get checked out etc. Lets see how it goes. Im still terrified of possibly gaining weight but it has to be!!
  • piratebear1
    piratebear1 Posts: 88 Member
    you should try not to go below the 1200 each day.

    I am 5ft 1 and weigh 76k .. I was 89k 12 weeks ago and 105k at my worst - I want to get to 65k and will happy with that. We all have our ideals and being over weight is just as unhealthy as being over weight - so I want to stay in the healthy range - it will be as hard for me not to eat - as it will for you to it :-) so use this forum and all of us that want to help for motivation, for support and to help you stay healthy xxxx

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