Single Indian Woman (32) wants to marry.

she doesn't sound desperate....she sounds like a woman who has flown in the face of the cultural values she was raised with, someone that tried to be different and is now worried that the very values she challenged will negate her possibilities.

its hard changing a system, especially a very built in system that operates on a core cultural value.

she sounds hurt and worried....

not desperate.

She simply needs to calm down and realise that all it takes is one......not many, but one guy...

and it won't necessarily happen on her timeline.

This has been circling the internet like a wildfire.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1sypck/guys_i_am_a_single_indian32f_woman_and_i_feel/

Cliffs:

-Women goes against traditional Indian norms.

-Slept with 18 guys total.

-Now is 32 and wants to settle down (brother and sister settled down early via arranged marriage)

-Comes off as desperate.

Thoughts? I don't know many guys that would be willing to marry her (granted I don't have a picture of her). She definitely doesn't seem like wife material IMHO. I predict cats, lots of cats for this one.

Wow. What an incredibly chauvinistic thing to say. I predict porn, lots of porn for you.

ROFL - even funnier that this comment is coming from a guy. Thank you!

The biggest problem with this thread is that we don't have a picture of her.

She made poor choices. She said the guys she dated never took her seriously. If she wanted to be taken seriously, she shouldn't have been with guys who did not take her seriously.

I think she's between a rock and a hard place, but she could probably find her way out. She can't be as picky as a younger woman, but she probably could get an older guy (40-50), who is divorced with kids. May or may not be a guy with Indian ancestry.

She should have taken her prime years (20-27) more seriously and parlayed her looks, wit, etc into something she wanted long term. She's right that often times women over 30 who have not married are looked at skeptically by men of a similar age to her.

I agree 100% with this post. She wasted some of the best years of her life on men who wouldn't take her seriously. In order for a man to take a woman seriously, he has to feel that she's on his level. Judging from her post, it sounds she hasn't has this experience.

I hope she's ready for an uphill battle. Most men I know in their 30's don't want to settle down with a woman their own age (especially in Los Angeles). Instead, they want someone in their 20's. If they have a good job, looks, and personality, then they will most likely find it.

If she really wants to be taken seriously, then she needs to have reasonable expectations. At her age, she needs to date an older (mid 40's and up) who is likely divorced w/ kids. Either that or she'll continue to be a "filler" for a guy her own age who will keep her around until the opportunity for a younger woman appears.

how long have you been a woman that you know so well what we women need to do.

LOL 18 she's practically a virgin

Are you serious?

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Not sure if I am laughing more at the joke or someone asking if you are serious :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

This has been circling the internet like a wildfire.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1sypck/guys_i_am_a_single_indian32f_woman_and_i_feel/

Cliffs:

-Women goes against traditional Indian norms.

-Slept with 18 guys total.

-Now is 32 and wants to settle down (brother and sister settled down early via arranged marriage)

-Comes off as desperate.

Thoughts? I don't know many guys that would be willing to marry her (granted I don't have a picture of her). She definitely doesn't seem like wife material IMHO. I predict cats, lots of cats for this one.

Really? Your opinions are so last century

The biggest problem with this thread is that we don't have a picture of her.

She made poor choices. She said the guys she dated never took her seriously. If she wanted to be taken seriously, she shouldn't have been with guys who did not take her seriously.

I think she's between a rock and a hard place, but she could probably find her way out. She can't be as picky as a younger woman, but she probably could get an older guy (40-50), who is divorced with kids. May or may not be a guy with Indian ancestry.

She should have taken her prime years (20-27) more seriously and parlayed her looks, wit, etc into something she wanted long term. She's right that often times women over 30 who have not married are looked at skeptically by men of a similar age to her.

I agree 100% with this post. She wasted some of the best years of her life on men who wouldn't take her seriously. In order for a man to take a woman seriously, he has to feel that she's on his level. Judging from her post, it sounds she hasn't has this experience.

I hope she's ready for an uphill battle. Most men I know in their 30's don't want to settle down with a woman their own age (especially in Los Angeles). Instead, they want someone in their 20's. If they have a good job, looks, and personality, then they will most likely find it.

If she really wants to be taken seriously, then she needs to have reasonable expectations. At her age, she needs to date an older (mid 40's and up) who is likely divorced w/ kids. Either that or she'll continue to be a "filler" for a guy her own age who will keep her around until the opportunity for a younger woman appears.

You really are a opinionated *kitten* who I am going to assume thinks they have the opposite sex worked out like some equation.

People are most probably far beyond your scope of (little) understanding.

Age limits, imaginary scenarios with divorcee's w/kids (also unaware of how divorcee's w/kids or older people are considered worth less or settling)

"Either that or she'll continue to be a "filler" for a guy her own age who will keep her around until the opportunity for a younger woman appears." I think these comments are a reflection of your poor attitude.

What she needs to do is be happy with herself, accept herself and let go of regrets. Moving forward she needs to be aware of the type of men she is dating and if they fit what she wants. She also needs to realize that maybe she won't get married and that's okay too. She can consider adoption or insemination, as well if her desire for a family is that strong. She can also volunteer with children, try to be extra involved with her nieces and nephews, travel, etc. Single 32 year old women are very very common. It's not the end of the world.

So...there's a 32 year old woman who slept with 18 guys and is looking for a husband online.


How is this worth reporting?

Pretty sure there are entire websites devoted to that... starting with match...

Mike, I want to thank you for being so candid with your opinions about how women should live and be in order to attract men like you.

I don't plan on being single ever again, but just in case I am, I want to know exactly what to do in order to ensure I never end up dating anyone like you. Your how-to guide is useful.

This has been circling the internet like a wildfire.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1sypck/guys_i_am_a_single_indian32f_woman_and_i_feel/

Cliffs:

-Women goes against traditional Indian norms.

-Slept with 18 guys total.

-Now is 32 and wants to settle down (brother and sister settled down early via arranged marriage)

-Comes off as desperate.

Thoughts? I don't know many guys that would be willing to marry her (granted I don't have a picture of her). She definitely doesn't seem like wife material IMHO. I predict cats, lots of cats for this one.

Having read the attached link, I'm somewhat stymied by the Reddit OP. When you are a woman who hails from a strict and conservative culture, where arranged marriages within your social classes is a practiced norm, in this modern age, you know how to cancel yourself out, as a prospective candidate for any "compatible" suitor. She did everything wrong; Her conscious actions were perfectly timed and plotted to nullify her for consideration. She made certain she'd disqualified herself. I doubt very much that at 17 dating her preferred race to the age of 21, that the Reddit OP even considered the possibility of not being wedded by one of her boyfriends. The 360 degrees maneuver is seemingly a desperate one. Now, on the shelf, she respects her Culture? After having been prodded by 18 different men of her preferred race, she now deems an Indian man her perfect marriage mate? Her ~ the sullied woman. The cultural anomaly. The rebel with a cause. Why is she so special?

Anyone who knows High Caste Indian Families or even the Financial Caste within the Indian Financial Strata for marriage (how they qualify themselves to marry a higher caste), knows the preliminary requirements, none of which did the OP on Reddit bother to divulge in her original post. (i) No unedited photos (ii) No mention of her educational background (which schools and achieved at which level ~ Level One preferred) (iii) Height, weight, skin complexion, health status, fertility check (most especially at the age of 32) (iv) Her family's health history (v) Her family gleanings going back 6 generations in both directions (vi) Family financial status (vii) Her financial status debts included (She's American educated therefore student loans have to be considered) (x) And most importantly, her DOWRY No mention of her dowry and she's Indian? A good dowry can cancel out the need for the virgin to marriage bride. A good dowry can cancel out her lack luster beauty. A good dowry can make them forget she's dark skinned. A good dowry can make them forget she'd attended non-Ivy Universities and that the prospective bride graduated at Level Four vs a Level One. A good dowry can make them forget family history, health included. A good dowry can make them pretend they do not really need the line to continue and most importantly a great dowry can make them forget her age, yet this Indian Woman whose siblings were also arranged failed to mention her dowry. Is her mother a non-Indian? Hence the cultural insensitivity? The disrespect. A dowry is collected for every worthy Indian Girl from the day of her birth. On her first birthday gifts are presented to add to her dowry. Her dowry must reflect her 32 years; Minimum from the gifts for her marriage gifted to her on her birthdays, from family, friends and relatives. Upon graduation, high school, college and all her Post Graduate Degrees, gifts gifted her for her marriage during those celebrations should be part of her dowry. Gifts awarded her for securing a job post graduation for her marriage chests, should be there. Gifts in gold, gemstones, stock options,real estate and probably for the modern bride, bitcoins. Her problem is that she does not realise that as an indian woman who desires the coveted indian man for a husband, she needs to qualify herself. She needs to realise that she needs a dowry that'll disqualify her misdeeds.

I find it strange, that a woman who declares herself as one who hails from such a heritage, systematically failed to promote herself. You know how to put your best foot forward, in a cultural light. This woman does not have a mother, an aunt or great aunt to help her? If you are a woman of breeding seeking a culturally beneficial marriage you NEVER arrange for it yourself. You're approached; The men are presented to you and if you're in her position (desperate), she should have found a go between to present her case to the Big Aunts. Much like any culture, the Ladies Corps hold Power. They are the Control. They can choose whether you're in or out. They will determine which of your faux pas' should be deleted. And she has no such contact, but chooses to advertise herself on Reddit? Whilst skimming through posts, at least 4 quality Indian men replied. One can't help but wonder, is her target husband there? She is calculative and manipulative.

I can't help but recall my sister's sharing last week concerning an Oriental woman in her 30s, Ivy educated, works in Wall Street at one of the investment Banking Firm's who could not understand why it is men who earn more than US$1M do not ask her for marriage. The summation is, much like the cow and milk analogy. My sister highlighted that what exotics in the Western World fail to grasp, is that irrespective of the man's race, a woman, most especially if you're considering an arranged marriage, needs to consider your Market Value. If all you bring to the table is your vbox and your beauty with some education, that is NOT enough! How can your prospective husband determine that your marriage will appreciate in value over time? And I'm not taking money only and that is where women like this woman here, the Reddit OP ~ A cunning hunter, plotter, schemer are lost in translation. A deceiver who consciously chose to engage with Western Men in the prime of her life and when she's on a decline, she opts to switch to her own kind? Why ~ because she wants marriage? Wants a man on her arm who could provide for her every whim? If a woman is as successful as she claims to be, her future hubby's wallet and value(earning power) matters not. She is hunting for a benefactor husband of convenience and FAILS to meet the necessary requirements, coming across as an Indian underclass of the USA looking beyond herself for a match up.

In an arranged marriage, both parties entering into the union, gain; Not the couple only, but who they come with, as in their networks also gain. She's all about me, me, I, sounding very much like some of the Oriental American women in the very same position. And what I find strange and offensive about her post is, that outside the Indian ethnicity, she only sees White. It is no small wonder that she is in the rut she finds herself in. My thoughts.

ETA: adjust bold code

My advice to her would be not to lead with the "slept with18 men" info right off the bat while searching for a husband. :laugh:

The biggest problem with this thread is that we don't have a picture of her.

She made poor choices. She said the guys she dated never took her seriously. If she wanted to be taken seriously, she shouldn't have been with guys who did not take her seriously.

I think she's between a rock and a hard place, but she could probably find her way out. She can't be as picky as a younger woman, but she probably could get an older guy (40-50), who is divorced with kids. May or may not be a guy with Indian ancestry.

She should have taken her prime years (20-27) more seriously and parlayed her looks, wit, etc into something she wanted long term. She's right that often times women over 30 who have not married are looked at skeptically by men of a similar age to her.

I agree 100% with this post. She wasted some of the best years of her life on men who wouldn't take her seriously. In order for a man to take a woman seriously, he has to feel that she's on his level. Judging from her post, it sounds she hasn't has this experience.

I hope she's ready for an uphill battle. Most men I know in their 30's don't want to settle down with a woman their own age (especially in Los Angeles). Instead, they want someone in their 20's. If they have a good job, looks, and personality, then they will most likely find it.

If she really wants to be taken seriously, then she needs to have reasonable expectations. At her age, she needs to date an older (mid 40's and up) who is likely divorced w/ kids. Either that or she'll continue to be a "filler" for a guy her own age who will keep her around until the opportunity for a younger woman appears.

LOL, what?!

Right. I'm sure I could never "land" and keep a 30 something man since I'm in my 30s. WTF. If a man wants a different woman, he will try to get one regardless of her age.

Apparently 30 something women are all used up and need to find someone older. Older guys are da bomb anyway since they typically do NOT say dumbass things like this.

This has been circling the internet like a wildfire.

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1sypck/guys_i_am_a_single_indian32f_woman_and_i_feel/

Cliffs:

-Women goes against traditional Indian norms.

-Slept with 18 guys total.

-Now is 32 and wants to settle down (brother and sister settled down early via arranged marriage)

-Comes off as desperate.

Thoughts? I don't know many guys that would be willing to marry her (granted I don't have a picture of her). She definitely doesn't seem like wife material IMHO. I predict cats, lots of cats for this one.

Really? Your opinions are so last century

I think you miscounted. You should really have said "Really? Your opinions are so 1800's

The biggest problem with this thread is that we don't have a picture of her.

She made poor choices. She said the guys she dated never took her seriously. If she wanted to be taken seriously, she shouldn't have been with guys who did not take her seriously.

I think she's between a rock and a hard place, but she could probably find her way out. She can't be as picky as a younger woman, but she probably could get an older guy (40-50), who is divorced with kids. May or may not be a guy with Indian ancestry.

She should have taken her prime years (20-27) more seriously and parlayed her looks, wit, etc into something she wanted long term. She's right that often times women over 30 who have not married are looked at skeptically by men of a similar age to her.

I agree 100% with this post. She wasted some of the best years of her life on men who wouldn't take her seriously. In order for a man to take a woman seriously, he has to feel that she's on his level. Judging from her post, it sounds she hasn't has this experience.

I hope she's ready for an uphill battle. Most men I know in their 30's don't want to settle down with a woman their own age (especially in Los Angeles). Instead, they want someone in their 20's. If they have a good job, looks, and personality, then they will most likely find it.

If she really wants to be taken seriously, then she needs to have reasonable expectations. At her age, she needs to date an older (mid 40's and up) who is likely divorced w/ kids. Either that or she'll continue to be a "filler" for a guy her own age who will keep her around until the opportunity for a younger woman appears.

Congratulations, you have successfully summed up all men in their 30's, because you most definitely know the billion or so of them around on this planet personally, as well as their expectations.

So your well-established logic: Men in their 30's can settle for younger, hotter females while women in their 30's must resign to a fate of settling for men older and less attractive than their standards. As a twenty something year old (who, mind you, is engaged to a man her age like most other couples I know), I doubt the average older man has a better chance at settling down with a younger woman than the average older female looking for a younger guy.


But, I digress...you clearly have an omniscient comprehension of the male and female workings of love, their priorities, and the way in which they should approach their love life.

This narrow minded-ness and know it all attitude is going to get you quite far in life. Can't wait to see the fruits of your all-encompassing knowledge and understanding of the human race.

In my day, trolling meant something.