Just want to rant

You're not ready to stop making excuses. I hate doing this, but I am sharing a link to my success story. I've been told it puts some things into perspective.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/918358-they-cut-my-head-open-your-excuse-is-invalid

Good luck.

Edit...I posted this story in March. I have now been maintaining my weight loss for almost two years. I did a 5k race 12 weeks after my brain surgery. Started lifting weights just 8 weeks after. Fight for yourself AND for your son. BE the example.

She is currently typing us a very long, windy reply. With big words that insult us. I live with these people everyday. When evidence comes up against theory, they get windy. And trust me, it will be your fault.

You say you are not doing your best. What is "not your best?" Find those and fix them.

Suggestions Otherwise:
Financially-
Make a change in your diet that you can both afford and find healthy.
For example, eat 3 meals a day but make a change by not snacking at night.. that costs nothing.
Cook more meals at home..that saves money depending on what it is (not always).
What I do, I make my own coffee at home so I can afford better food...sounds really stupid but I know in the long run it wil save. It also forces me to cut back for my health, which I NEED to do anyway to be healthy.

Good luck!

Logging isn't complicated.

If you're doing a recipe you enter all the ingredients by weight. If you're baking, weigh whatever dish you're using first. Then cook your food. Weigh the entire thing, dish plus recipe. Then subtract the weight of the dish (so if your total weight is 450 grams and you weighed the dish at 240 grams, then your recipe weighs 210 grams). That's the weight of your total recipe. Then you've got two choices for getting out a serving. You can divide the total weight by the number of servings, and eat that much each time you have a serving (ex. 210 grams of total weight, 2 servings = 105 grams per serving). Alternately (this is what I do) take your total weight and make one serving 10 grams. So if I had 210 grams, I'd tell the recipe builder I made 21 servings. Then if I weigh out 50 grams to eat I put that I had 5 servings. If I weigh out 140 grams to eat, I had 14 servings.

It takes a little practice but once you get it down it's fast. I spend 5 minutes or so logging each day. I use the same recipes more than once so once the recipe is saved it's even faster.

You seem really frustrated right now and you've got a lot of reasons why none of these suggestions will work for you. Maybe you just need to take a break and come back to it when you're less stressed. If you're not ready then you're not ready.

this would waste too much of OP's valuable time….

I'm hoping that OP is just having a meltdown and she'll feel better later. When she does she can come back to this thread. What can I say, I'm an optimist.

I get that this was just a rant. And I don't see excuses, I see reasons. But all of these are reasons why you aren't where you want to be. As others have said, something has got to give. Change isn't easy, but clearly you're going to have to change some stuff up or you will never get healthy. Period. But you don't need to do it all at once. You don't need to exercise every single day for an hour and buy only organic food and get 10 hours of sleep and drink 100 oz of water TODAY. Make one small change at a time. OH, and as for not wanting to cook 2 meals, I totally get you, but your son is 6. I worked in a pediatrician's office for years, seeing all kinds of picky eaters, and not one of them starved to death. He might be strongwilled, he might go to sleep hungry a few nights, but eventually he will eat what you give him because normal healthy children will not starve themselves. Besides, he should be eating healthy as well, so he has a good foundation for when he is older. If not, 6 is old enough to learn how to make peanut butter and jelly.

Some really cheap healthy foods are eggs, beans, fruits/veggies that are in season or on sale. Check out the sales ads for the week, and buy what you can afford that week. You can make all sorts of things in a slow cooker in the morning and it will be ready for when you get home - one less thing to worry about. And you really don't need space to exercise - men in prison do it all the time. even if all you do is jumping jacks, crunches, and pushups, you can get a fantastic workout, and it's free.

Good luck!

Not that you will take too kindly to this ... but, all I see here from you are excuses.

And you're right, they only matter to you.

No amount of advice any of us can offer will help you until you are ready to help yourself. No change is too difficult unless you make it so. No one is standing in your way but YOU.

You can have one designated day for cooking.. Saturdays for example, you can cook food in bulk for the entire week.. Prepare you meats only for example, for 5, 6 days.. It will save u a lot of time for the rest of the week..All you have to do after is to prepare sides, salads, snacks etc. on a given day, your meals will be ready in 20 minutes this way...
You can buy used sets of dumbbells for like 10$ searching local ads.. Google home dumbbells workouts free.. produmbbellworkouts.com/ is a great dumbbell's site for example.....Cardio is not just running and jogging.. You can do crazy heart pumping cardios not leaving your living room.. google it, youtube it.. All free of charge...
So no excuses..That's the frame of mind you should have...

You don't need money to look decent...
I do believe you're making mistakes counting calories with MFP however, or you set your calories intake wrongly.. Good luck

If you're too busy to weigh and track food and stuff, then just try and think healthy. Make healthier choices when you are out eating. when you shop for food that you're gonna cook for your family/sons then just pick a bunch of veggies and fruits and lean meats etc. When its time to cook them, dont slather them in butter and a ton of seasonings, just use a little pepper a little salt, either one of those reduced butters or just regular butter but less than usual with a little olive oil. also get smaller plates, people years ago managed to stay slim without micromanaging numbers so theres no reason why you can't do it now...just dont pile your plate high with food. now in terms of exercising like a lot of people said, observe your day really well, how much you spend at work, what you do commuting home, how much you spend with the kids etc. but there is definitely time for you to squeeze in some type of workout. or break your workout into 5 min sessions. I'm sure when you do activities with your kids outside theres no reason why you all cant get out of the car(bus, train, whatever you take) 5 blocks before, to jog the rest of the way. there's no reason why while you're at work you can't stand up for even a few seconds and kick your legs out or stretch to the side while going to the bathroom. If you dont want someone seeing you, on your bathroom break do like 5 jumping jacks. With my job, whenever I went to get something in the basement, I would pause on the stairs and do 5 tricep dips. Don't give up, its easier to just say life is just too messed up that you can't beat it and so why bother trying, but if you really want it, you'll make a way.

You're eating way too much.

You either want to lose weight, or you want that extra slice of pizza. No one can make you want one or the other. You have to decide whether you're going to overeat or not.

I almost didn't reply, but here goes nothing...

My youngest is the same type of kid - he was in the "terrible two's" stage from 18 months to about 7 years old when his tests revealed a 152 equivalent IQ. He was scary-smart & bored to tears in school, so he got into trouble. He couldn't relate to kids his own age, so he tried to be friends with teachers. He wouldn't listen to anyone because he thought he was (and probably actually was) smarter than many adults in authority. He skipped kindergarten & 4th grade so he is now a Sophomore and just turned 14 in October. He's in all advanced classes & is on track to graduate HS in 2016 at the age of 16. My point is to tell you that it does get better. Get your son evaluated for GATE or advanced classes if you haven't already. I know what a challenge it is with your son, and I can't imagine going through it as a single parent, but he is your first priority.

As far as your weight loss, I would agree with most of the people posting her. But I can offer one simple bit of advice... Figure out what he likes to eat & serve it every day. You can eat it too, just weigh and LOG EVERYTHING. When he gets bored with that try something else. Ask him what he wants to eat, and serve it with some vegetables on the side. Like someone else said... once a week make big batches of soup, chili, grilled chicken, etc. for yourself using the MFP database (it does NOT take long) and save the recipe so next time you can just enter your portion.

Things should calm down in a couple of years, and with a little luck maybe you will be at your goal weight by then! Hang in there!

Okay..so my opinion is to take a deep breath, get "Christmas over with' and then sleep, and then focus on your diet and what you are eating and leave the exercise for few weeks/months. I know someone who was trying to quit smoking, move house, and lose weight. She decided to focus on only 2. If your son is in extracurricular activities can you perhaps walk around the block while he's in the activity? Every 10 min counts. There are 1440 minutes in one day.... try walking for 10 min in the am 10 min in the afternoon.... on weekends try walking more. Can you switch off with playdates? So drop off your son for 1 hour once a week to one of his friend's place and then you look after his friend for 1 hour a week? That was you get one hour to either exercise, get organized, cook and freeze food. Something also that I do is that when stressed and don't really feel like cooking or eating I eat food...as opposed to eating a meal. So I eat cheese and an apple, toast with peanut butter, Greek yogurt with raspberries...and really watch what I eat. Something else is to figure out what is how many calories and then eat the same thing every day.... that way you don't have to worry about going over?
Some suggestions... I hope it goes better for you...it's tough when you are in a bad situation and everything looks like it's too difficult...but if you take a step back perhaps you will be able to find a solution. Good luck!

I was. Was. Not at the moment. Not 1200 but not 4000 either. I would say closer to 2000, maybe 2500 on a weekend day.

that is your problem you aren to accurately logging your food.

if you are guestimating you are probably eating more like 2500 during the week and 3000 on weekend.

You need to weight/measure/log everything.

You can lose weight without running/strength training, just eat in a calorie deficit...

I agree completely. Weight can fluctuate quite a bit from day to day. However even if we ignore the 10 pounds you gained over the past two weeks we have several years of data to look at. Clearly if you have not lost weight in 3 years, your average caloric deficit has not been where it needs to be to reach your goal.

Don't feel alone. Many people have been in your situation and vastly underestimated caloric consumption. See "Secret Eaters for example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Eaters

In regards to the cost of "healthy food" it may be less than you think:
http://thechart.blogs.cnn.com/2013/12/05/healthy-eating-costs-you-1-50-more-a-day/

Some simple (and free) suggestions to help you burn more calories:

1. Request a stand up desk at work:
2. Walk more often instead of driving (even if it means just parking on the far side of the parking lot when shopping)
3. Take the stairs instead of the elevator

Good luck!

Wow.. I have been losing a lot of motivation lately, but after seeing a lot of OP's comments...er...excuses, Ive realized exactly what my problem is.. EXCUSES.

This is exactly the thread I needed to read this morning!
GETTING OFF MY *kitten*!

Sorry for the long post, but I really hope you get to read it.

I'm not a single mother with a difficult child, but my mum was a single mother with 3 difficult children. And your initial post and responses sound EXACTLY like what my mum would say if I encouraged her to use mfp, weigh food etc etc. I heard your posts in my mothers voice when reading them. Which is why I'm responding.

What I will say is that different people have different 'I can cope' thresholds. I know one woman who has the workload of about 5 employees, has more than 10hr work days, still manages to make it to all social and work functions and excel career wise, also goes for a 60 min run EVERY DAY, goes to the gym and is a tiny size 6. She was my boss and I spent many 12 hour workdays with her in complete awe at the pace and constant 'switched on-ness' while I struggled to keep up. I was exhausted, and I had about 10% as much work to do nowhere near the same amount of responsibility.

Its an extreme example, but it taught me something. My threshold for maintaining a growing number of commitments and difficult situations (work/social/health) are much lower than some peoples, and likely much higher than others. Its just me, and I don't have the option of being anybody else. Someone on here might be able to find time to weigh their food while preparing meals for their six children, using after dinner time to help the kids with homework at the same time as doing a 2 hour workout. These people are going to struggle to understand you, and tell you that you are using excuses. You are going to feel attacked by them. Its pointless.

Still, there is so much you can do. Swap large dinner plates for an entree plate. Have one piece of toast rather than 2. This is a money saver, as well as helping you lose weight. Walk whenever you can, park further away and do squats during ad breaks. Make tiny changes that don't sap your time. and introduce them gradually. You already have so much on your plate, but I believe that you've already demonstrated that you can handle a lot being a single working mother.

Focus on the little things you can do, rather than the big things that you can't. And please, please don't lose weight to get a man. Because if you have to lose weight for him to be with you, he dosen't deserve you.