Freaking out (Lots of "what if" questions.)
MEJovanovich
Posts: 12
So as I am sitting in my living room, I decided for a little extra motivation, I would look at tumblers before and after weight loss. I then began to panic. What if I have loose skin? Like a lot. What If my bellybutton isn't where it "should" be. What if.... areas... don't shrink too. What if I lose weight in only a certain area of my body, but not the rest? If I lose all the weight will I love myself.? If it takes me more then 3 years can I stick to it to see the progress. I hate this whole thing! I wish I could just skip to the future to see what I could/might look like! I'm soo scared that I'm going to have crazy amounts of loose skin. Ugh. I know it sounds silly, but that is what I am soooo concerned with. Somebody tell me I'm not that crazy!
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Replies
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not trying to sound harsh, but that sounds like a whole lot of excuses to not change what you're doing right now.
don't be afraid of change - if you don't change something, nothing will change.
no point worrying about what if's, deal with them if you get there.
will you have loose skin? who knows. lose weight slowly, exercise and eat well and the likelihood will be lessened.
will you love yourself after you've lost weight. probably not. losing weight doesn't change your brain! that's a whole different problem to work on.
you wont lose weight in one spot. if you do, you can make millions by telling people the secret to spot reducing.
who cares where your bellybutton is unless you want to go round showing off your stomach all day?
if you could see in to the future, how would it change what you're doing now?0 -
You are not crazy. As far as I know. :-)
But you seem to be worried about things that you don't need to worry about yet.
Worry about first things first.0 -
I am working out, I should have added that. I have just been gaining weight and I have no Idea why, I am under my cal limits, but I just keep on gaining. Ugh. I think it is the lack of sleep that is getting to me. I just don't want to have loose skin and have to get surgery. It scares me.0
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If you use the slow and steady approach you aren't nearly as likely to have loose skin.0
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I am working out, I should have added that. I have just been gaining weight and I have no Idea why, I am under my cal limits, but I just keep on gaining. Ugh. I think it is the lack of sleep that is getting to me. I just don't want to have loose skin and have to get surgery. It scares me.
stress and sleep both play a huge part in your fat loss ability.
perhaps you're not eating enough....you have limits for a reason! eating too little is just as bad as eating too much if it's happening regularly.0 -
I am working out, I should have added that. I have just been gaining weight and I have no Idea why, I am under my cal limits, but I just keep on gaining. Ugh. I think it is the lack of sleep that is getting to me. I just don't want to have loose skin and have to get surgery. It scares me.
stress and sleep both play a huge part in your fat loss ability.
perhaps you're not eating enough....you have limits for a reason! eating too little is just as bad as eating too much if it's happening regularly.
I didn't know that eating too few was bad. I might have to calculate the TDEE? Is that it? See what I should be eating.
I knew stress did, but not sleep. I am so uninformed it's crazy. Apparently, I should sleep more.0 -
Ok. Take a deep breath. Now:
Change is scary. It's ok.
Of course we all would like to look like Jillian Michaels at the end of our weight loss journey (or Kate Upton or Angeline Jolie, or...well, you get my point), but the fact is that we won't.
If you can accept now that you will never have a PERFECT body, then this process will be much easer. It will still be worth the journey. It's still the right choice.0 -
I just read that water plays a big roll in the elasticity of ones skin. I might have to buy a water bottle and drink water like my Dr. recommended for my PCOS. I'm going to have to by a health for dummies book. I can't believe how much I don't know.0
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Sounds like you should talk to a doctor about the weight gain first to see what's up.
I have a lot more weight to lose and I'm worried about those things too but if all else fails, I can gain some weight back. Honestly I think looking good in clothes is going to feel so much better than being fat naked. Your skin at your age is also a lot more responsive than it will be even 10 or 20 years from now so doing it now will give you the best chance for it to all go back the way it was before you gained the weight.
Having gained, lost, and gained again over the last decade, I can tell you it doesn't get easier to lose it but it does get easier to gain more. The only "what if" question that should worry you is "what if I don't change my life now and die too young?" Being obese can most definitely kill you.
As you said in your profile, you are also hoping to be a role model for the other important people in your life - not only are you saving your own life, you could help save theirs as well. Track everything you do and eat, set realistic goals, measure your progress, celebrate the small wins, and take the steps to live a longer and healthier life.
If you want a friend and accountability partner, send me a friend request. I lived in the Twin Cities until 3 months ago
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Ok. Take a deep breath. Now:
Change is scary. It's ok.
Of course we all would like to look like Jillian Michaels at the end of our weight loss journey (or Kate Upton or Angeline Jolie, or...well, you get my point), but the fact is that we won't.
If you can accept now that you will never have a PERFECT body, then this process will be much easer. It will still be worth the journey. It's still the right choice.
what's a perfect body?
(i wouldn't want to look like any of those people you mentioned... i don't think they look that great tbh)
you can have a perfect body, if you love what you look like!0 -
Reading some of your responses I have the following additional comments:
I'm a dude but quickly reading about PCOS sounds like something that may improve with good nutrition and weight loss??? I'd certainly talk to the doc about any plans for weight loss before getting serious.
Your health care may also cover a meeting with a nutritionist due to the PCOS or just simply the weight. Either way, an hour or two with a nutritionist would be very beneficial. Yes you can get it all from books and online stuff, but hearing it from an expert and asking questions and knowing you are getting good answers is great. Back when I lost 85 pounds in 18 months I had a personal trainer help me overcome my pain and fitness plateaus and then a nutritionist helped me overcome my weight plateau. Helped a ton then and the knowledge is still with me so it will help me again this time.0 -
If you make your diary public we may be able to help with the weight gain. Are you using a food scale to weigh all solids and measuring all liquids? If not, you may be eating more than you think. How much protein are you getting? MFP sets protein way too low.
You're young so if you lose weight slowly you should not have a problem with sagging skin.
I would suggest you read through the introduction materials on this site. And then read through some of the success stories. I don't know much about PCOS but if losing weight will help that's a big motivator. If you family is not supportive then you may have to buy your own food and learn a lot of self control (my parents house is like a bakery). But most of all you have to be ready to make the commitment to yourself that you are going to get healthy.0 -
Breath. You're not as big as some of those loose and saggy skinned people and you're a whole lot younger. Your skin has plenty of time to "bounce" back into shape again. Breathe.0
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Ok. Take a deep breath. Now:
Change is scary. It's ok.
Of course we all would like to look like Jillian Michaels at the end of our weight loss journey (or Kate Upton or Angeline Jolie, or...well, you get my point), but the fact is that we won't.
If you can accept now that you will never have a PERFECT body, then this process will be much easer. It will still be worth the journey. It's still the right choice.
what's a perfect body?
(i wouldn't want to look like any of those people you mentioned... i don't think they look that great tbh)
you can have a perfect body, if you love what you look like!
I think you missed the point...:huh:0 -
1. Drink lots of water.
2. Try to get good quality foods for your calories - plenty of lean meats, fish, chicken and lots of vegetables.
3. A slow and steady weight loss is better than a fast drop, as your body has time to adjust.
4. Exercise will help your body stay in shape.
Now, YOU can control every one of those factors.0 -
what if I cant poo0
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I agree with whoever said that you just need to be prepared to face the worst. There was this girl that was your age and she lost around 75 lbs in two years and she still had loads of excess skin (not the kind that would "bounce back"). I'm not saying this is going to happen to you but don't automatically believe everyone that says "lose it slow and drink a lot of water" because the fact of the matter is, genetics probably has more to do with it than anything.
I do hope the best for you, but I think it is best if you just accept that you may not look the way you want after its all over. It still beats being overweight any day.0 -
Others have already broached the loose skin subject. You are going to tighten up a lot so don't worry.
Regarding the 3 yr comment. Please view this adventure as a lifestyle change. There's no going back to the old way of eating once you meet your goal. That's what got you there in the first place.
Losing slow will enable you to develop good eating habits. It's not a race but you will have to change your habits and not go back. Not saying you should cut out foods; just cut down. If you cut out, you'll feel deprived and revert back.
Good luck, you can do this!!!
Go slow.0 -
Ok. Take a deep breath. Now:
Change is scary. It's ok.
Of course we all would like to look like Jillian Michaels at the end of our weight loss journey (or Kate Upton or Angeline Jolie, or...well, you get my point), but the fact is that we won't.
If you can accept now that you will never have a PERFECT body, then this process will be much easer. It will still be worth the journey. It's still the right choice.
what's a perfect body?
(i wouldn't want to look like any of those people you mentioned... i don't think they look that great tbh)
you can have a perfect body, if you love what you look like!
I think you missed the point...:huh:
uh, no. you can have a perfect body. there is no one "perfect body". beauty and perfection is in the eye of the beholder - perfect is whatever you want it to be.0 -
LOTS of women just like you have done this without any of the problems you are afraid... my absolute favorite thread and motivation
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1045433-women-lifting-heavy-with-pics
This is countless women all shapes and sizes looking badazz and hot 0 -
you will love the results
no one likes the efforts0 -
Yup. You might have loose skin. Depending on your heaviest weight, and how long you've been heavy, yeah, you might. You might not, it depends on genetics too. It depends on the rate you lose weight (slower is better) and lots of other factors. You're young, you might bounce back. You won't know until you get there. You may end up with a flat belly, or with skin that hangs over.
To me, the loose skin is better than being fat for at least a dozen reasons.
I wrote this in another thread recently, so I'll share:as for loose skin and vanity...i have VERY loose skin and a hanging belly (and thighs) that will jiggle until the time comes when/if I can have surgery, and I've still got at least 30-40 pounds to go and no plans on giving up. I don't have a husband/boyfriend who already loves me for who I am, and sometimes I get self-conscious getting naked in front of someone new...but in my most recent naked adventure...the guy had his hand on my belly and said something like "it's obvious you've been working hard, I'm proud of you." He actually grabbed my belly when he said it, and I didn't feel the least bit unattractive. He was proud of my loose belly because it was a sign of my strength and dedication to myself...a different kind of beauty. A tall, attractive, funny, strong, smart guy, who runs his own business, owns his own home, a "good catch" you could say...found beauty in that jiggly belly. and that's what I am going to remind myself when i see myself naked in the mirror.
Don't let your jiggle stop you from seeing the whole picture.0 -
MEJo,
Very natural questions to ask.
Let me ask a few:
What's the alternative to losing weight? Is the alternative somehow preferable? Didn't you already come to the conclusion the "devil you know" needed to go? So, why all the self-defeating, freak-out questions?
I don't get to use this a lot, so don't hold it against me for enjoying this a little: Go put on your big girl panties and deal with this! You have a goal, you have a plan. And that goal and plan to get there may be uncharted territory for you, but you know it is worth it. Even if your belly-button ends up on your forehead.0 -
Thank you to everyone! It has been helpful. I do not have healthcare until the beginning of the year, but I will look into what they can help me with.
I know I don't get enough Protein. Is it super important? ( I don't eat a lot of meats, so I'm looking into alternative ways.)
I'm trying to cut back on carbs, which I learned may be causing my weight gain. As well as I had been doing a week of nothing but strength without any cardio.
My BF and I just got an apartment, so we don't have the money to buy healthy food. I can buy salad and such, so don't get me wrong. It's just having the budget for the next few months.
I'm not so worried about the sagging anymore. ( I still think about it.) I think my problem is, I can't picture what I will look like. I just don't see me thin.
I know I won't have a "perfect body" if one did exist. I'm okay with that. I just don't want to do this the wrong way either.
Thank you sooo much! I am learning soo much! You guys are awesome!!!0 -
Honestly I think looking good in clothes is going to feel so much better than being fat naked.
The above is one of the best quotes I have seen on here - Love it !!!0 -
Lots of people who need to lose a lot of weight worry about loose skin. Looking at your picture and your age, I can pretty much promise you that you won't...especially if you lose the weight now, and not wait until middle age. If you lose it fast, you might have some for awhile, but it will shrink. It will take time and effort to lose it, but you'll look and feel much better after you do it.0
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I get what you're saying. I had been obese for pretty much my whole adult life when it finally hit me 4 years ago that it was time to finally put some effort into losing weight and getting healthier. My initial fear was more about setting the long term goal and really committing to reaching that goal (lose 100 pounds? Yikes!!) it's not an easy thing to express either. I think for anyone who hasn't gone through this, it's totally foreign territory. (By the way, the person who called you a weirdo has been reported - that's just rude and uncalled for)
It wasn't until about a year later that the whole fear of my personality, relationships and body changes came to mind. And I couldn't even tell you what brought it up but I was freaked out for a little bit. But then I realized that it was just one of those things I had no control over and getting healthy was more important than achieving a perfect beach body so I just kept with it and eventually go over my fears.
First of all, you have youth on your side. I so wish I would've started this out 20 years ago instead of waiting until my mid 30's.
And yes, things like hydration and proper diet will help. Try to get plenty of protein (if using MFP defaults, it's ok if not recommended to go well over) and healthy fats. Keep up with the exercise, make sure you don't cut your calories too low and enjoy that nice slow and steady loss.
Bottom line is, you can't predict the future. You can't know how your body will change. I'm actually a little amazed at how my body looks now - I never realized how much I look like my paternal Grandmother!! You just have to learn to accept whatever happens, don't worry about the things you have no control over and set goals for the things you can change.
Deep breaths!0 -
People here are very supportive and it's beautiful.
Just take a deep breath. It will be okay. Take your time and loose the weight healthy. You arn't just doing this to look and feel better, you're doing this for your health. For your friends and family; treating your body like it deserves to be treated. 0 -
My BF and I just got an apartment, so we don't have the money to buy healthy food. I can buy salad and such, so don't get me wrong. It's just having the budget for the next few months.
it's not as expensive as you think to eat healthy foods...here's some links
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/10/11/how-to-eat-healthy-without-breaking-the-bank/
http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2012/12/27/cheap-and-healthy-food/
google "eating healthy on a budget" and you'll find lots of advice.0 -
My what if has always been, what if I would of started this diet 4 years ago. I put 100 lbs on in the last 4 years and it frustrates me thinking where I'd be if I started this diet 4 years and 100 lbs. lighter.
Don't be 4 years down the road and thinking about those what ifs. Start today, and all the other what ifs, take them one at a time as they arise.0
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