how much longer for my dream to come true :(

mylife4eva
mylife4eva Posts: 116
in Health and Weight Loss
i want a flatter belly more than anything!!! Usually when i want something so badly, I get it. example: i want longer hair, got extensions, i want a brighter smile, whiten teeth. But the thing i want soo badly, is the hardest ever. So let me explain myself. I am a 25 year old female with a good husband and adorable son. When i started my "diet" it was the end of August of this year. Reason i started was because I had a few family friends ask if I was expecting a baby. That killed me and no matter how nice my smile was or lustrous my hair was, I felt and still feel ugly and awful. I am 5'0 and my weight was 145. As of today, i weight at 123. Many people say i look great and ask if ive lost weight, which makes me feel better, however, i went to look sexy NAKED lol. My hubby always was turned on by the way i am, its just i feel ugly with this nasty belly. the way i lost was just counting calories, no exercises. i started the 30 day shred and its my 6th day. I dont want to be less than 115 and since im so close, i feel like I'm not gonna have a flat belly. I cant go to a gym and cant afford equipment since i am saving up for a new home. Anyone have any advice? please dont leave any rude comments, this may sound funny to you, but its serious to me.

this is what my belly looks like:
http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad47/jardimgirl/photo4_zpsebe89d4e.jpg

Replies

  • dustin807
    dustin807 Posts: 8 Member
    I think you are in a great situation. Not being able to afford a gym frees you from all the crazy stuff that goes on at commercial gyms.

    I'll give you the same advice I give everyone.

    Change your goal.

    Instead of trying to get a flat belly, or trying to look sexy naked, just get stronger.

    A flat belly and looking sexy naked are fairly esoteric, unmeasurable, un-trackable goals.

    How will you know what kind of progress you are making? Could you look in the mirror and say, "Well I look 2 degrees sexier this week than I did last week." That's not really something that has any kind of useful metric.

    How many pushups can you do? Not "girl" pushups, but real pushups? I'm guessing less than 10 consecutively.

    What do you imagine your body would look like if you were the kind of person who could do 100 pushups consecutively?

    Take the next year, and spend the next 1 year of your life becoming someone who can do 100 pushups in a row.

    Don't worry about your diet, don't worry about the mirror, don't worry about what you look like naked, don't worry about what your friends and family say about you. Just dedicate the next year of your life to practicing pushups.

    Don't even concern yourself with whether you should be doing any other exercises. Don't worry about jogging, zumba, yoga, what you should eat, carbs vs. proteins, atkins diet, paleo diet, juicing...nothing except pushups.

    What have you got to lose?

    I don't know how long it will take, but I can guarantee you that when you are a person who can do 100 consecutive pushups your body will look completely different and you will not be concerned with whether your tummy is flat or not.

    That's not your typical weight loss advice.

    A lot of people would rather hear do this diet or do this special DVD exercise program. Don't eat this, do eat that, Jillian Michaels, muscle confusion, slow carb diet, blah blah blah.

    Just get stronger. Dedicate your life to getting stronger every day.

    Maybe you don't like pushups. Then maybe you spend the next year of your life becoming someone who can run a sub 4 minute mile. After you become someone who can run a mile in under 4 minutes, take a look at your body and recalibrate.

    Don't like running? Then maybe you spend the next year of your life becoming someone who can perform 100 burpees in a row. Don't like burpees? Then maybe you become someone who can perform 200 jumping jacks in a row.

    It really doesn't matter what exercise you choose. Just pick something. And either get stronger at it, or be able to do it faster, or longer, or faster and longer.

    We could spend all day talking diet, macro nutrition, micro nutrition, exercise selection...the insane minutia of the fitness world is infinite.

    But unless you are training for the Olympics or training to be a professional level athlete, all you really need to do is get stronger.

    If you can do what gladiators can do, you are going to look like gladiators look.

    Now I know you are a beautiful woman and you probably are not going for the gladiator look, but my point is that the easiest way to LOOK physically impressive, is to become someone who can DO something physically impressive.

    So keep is simple. Pick one thing. One simple little thing. Something as simple as pushups. And become a complete bad *kitten* at it.
  • mylife4eva
    mylife4eva Posts: 116
    wow....im speechless...that was prob the best advice i have ever read! Thank you so very much for your wise words and for your time to write me!! :smile:
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    calorie deficit + compound lifts

    /end thread
  • QueenE_
    QueenE_ Posts: 522 Member
    I am in the same boat as you. After three kids my stomach feels/looks disgusting to me. Definitely doesn't help when it's that time of the month, all that extra bloat, haha.. Dustin, I'm giving you a thumbs up. Awesome job with the weight loss OP!
  • diadia1
    diadia1 Posts: 223 Member
    i start "eating consciously " in july this year. my goal was to lose weight of course just like everybody else. but something change over the past few months. i actually started to like my new "diet" because i decided there was no more forbidden food or any bad foods. just need to eat according to what you want but... in a reasonnable way. now it is my new lifestyle.

    after i ran my first 5K (in august), something also changed regarding physical activity. i don't see now running as something i have / need to do to lose weight. no , not anymore.
    i see running more as a sport that makes me a better person, because i have more power & strength in my body. i am more energized,less stressed and have a better body image. i did not emphasized on body weight training and now i have muscles that i am so proud of just because i run!
    my new philosophy now is : i want to i lose weight now to be able to run better, faster and longer and NOT to run to lose weight only.

    and as Dustin wrote -===> find a sport (activity) you like and get better at it. you will see a difference in your body for sure!

    Edit: Dustin : your advice ROCK! i love it. awesome post.
  • ecanales52
    ecanales52 Posts: 74 Member
    I think you are in a great situation. Not being able to afford a gym frees you from all the crazy stuff that goes on at commercial gyms.

    I'll give you the same advice I give everyone.

    Change your goal.

    Instead of trying to get a flat belly, or trying to look sexy naked, just get stronger.

    A flat belly and looking sexy naked are fairly esoteric, unmeasurable, un-trackable goals.

    How will you know what kind of progress you are making? Could you look in the mirror and say, "Well I look 2 degrees sexier this week than I did last week." That's not really something that has any kind of useful metric.

    How many pushups can you do? Not "girl" pushups, but real pushups? I'm guessing less than 10 consecutively.

    What do you imagine your body would look like if you were the kind of person who could do 100 pushups consecutively?

    Take the next year, and spend the next 1 year of your life becoming someone who can do 100 pushups in a row.

    Don't worry about your diet, don't worry about the mirror, don't worry about what you look like naked, don't worry about what your friends and family say about you. Just dedicate the next year of your life to practicing pushups.

    Don't even concern yourself with whether you should be doing any other exercises. Don't worry about jogging, zumba, yoga, what you should eat, carbs vs. proteins, atkins diet, paleo diet, juicing...nothing except pushups.

    What have you got to lose?

    I don't know how long it will take, but I can guarantee you that when you are a person who can do 100 consecutive pushups your body will look completely different and you will not be concerned with whether your tummy is flat or not.

    That's not your typical weight loss advice.

    A lot of people would rather hear do this diet or do this special DVD exercise program. Don't eat this, do eat that, Jillian Michaels, muscle confusion, slow carb diet, blah blah blah.

    Just get stronger. Dedicate your life to getting stronger every day.

    Maybe you don't like pushups. Then maybe you spend the next year of your life becoming someone who can run a sub 4 minute mile. After you become someone who can run a mile in under 4 minutes, take a look at your body and recalibrate.

    Don't like running? Then maybe you spend the next year of your life becoming someone who can perform 100 burpees in a row. Don't like burpees? Then maybe you become someone who can perform 200 jumping jacks in a row.

    It really doesn't matter what exercise you choose. Just pick something. And either get stronger at it, or be able to do it faster, or longer, or faster and longer.

    We could spend all day talking diet, macro nutrition, micro nutrition, exercise selection...the insane minutia of the fitness world is infinite.

    But unless you are training for the Olympics or training to be a professional level athlete, all you really need to do is get stronger.

    If you can do what gladiators can do, you are going to look like gladiators look.

    Now I know you are a beautiful woman and you probably are not going for the gladiator look, but my point is that the easiest way to LOOK physically impressive, is to become someone who can DO something physically impressive.

    So keep is simple. Pick one thing. One simple little thing. Something as simple as pushups. And become a complete bad *kitten* at it.

    Best post I've read on this site. Awesome advice!
  • mylife4eva
    mylife4eva Posts: 116
    yes that was the best ever!
  • jensiegel39
    jensiegel39 Posts: 163 Member
    Hey Dustin,

    Great answer. You really make sense. There's an overwhelming amount of information about nutrition and fitness. It can make your head spin. I'm just focusing on certain types of exercise for now and trying to get better at each. As I am improving, I feel so much better overall. My step is springier. Pants fit me better. My mood is better. And when I think of "cheating", which isn't that often surprisingly, I think of all the hard work I've put into working out and it makes me think twice. I want to get better at what I'm doing and other types of exercises. I see people at my gym who are so physically fit, and it motivate me to want to be like them. Not just in terms of looks, but as you say, in terms of strength. My legs are so much stronger than when I started. I couldn't even do 10 minutes on the elliptical at the easiest resistance. Now, two months later, I have maxed out the incline and am at a 60 / 100 on the resistance (I was at a 15 before) and can easily go for 1.5 hours. It's a very nice feeling to work toward something and achieve it. To me, it's not about weight loss as much anymore, although that's good too. I'm happy that I can see improvement in my endurance and strength. It amazes me, but it makes me think I can tackle some other physical challenges soon.

    Anyway, to the OP, good luck to you. I think what Dustin said made sense and I hope you follow his advice!

    Jen :)
  • dustin807
    dustin807 Posts: 8 Member
    "To me it's not about weightloss as much anymore..."

    That's an excellent attitude. I think so many of us are focusing on the wrong thing or the wrong goal.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I think you are in a great situation. Not being able to afford a gym frees you from all the crazy stuff that goes on at commercial gyms.

    I'll give you the same advice I give everyone.

    Change your goal.

    Instead of trying to get a flat belly, or trying to look sexy naked, just get stronger.

    A flat belly and looking sexy naked are fairly esoteric, unmeasurable, un-trackable goals.

    How will you know what kind of progress you are making? Could you look in the mirror and say, "Well I look 2 degrees sexier this week than I did last week." That's not really something that has any kind of useful metric.

    How many pushups can you do? Not "girl" pushups, but real pushups? I'm guessing less than 10 consecutively.

    What do you imagine your body would look like if you were the kind of person who could do 100 pushups consecutively?

    Take the next year, and spend the next 1 year of your life becoming someone who can do 100 pushups in a row.

    Don't worry about your diet, don't worry about the mirror, don't worry about what you look like naked, don't worry about what your friends and family say about you. Just dedicate the next year of your life to practicing pushups.

    Don't even concern yourself with whether you should be doing any other exercises. Don't worry about jogging, zumba, yoga, what you should eat, carbs vs. proteins, atkins diet, paleo diet, juicing...nothing except pushups.

    What have you got to lose?

    I don't know how long it will take, but I can guarantee you that when you are a person who can do 100 consecutive pushups your body will look completely different and you will not be concerned with whether your tummy is flat or not.

    That's not your typical weight loss advice.

    A lot of people would rather hear do this diet or do this special DVD exercise program. Don't eat this, do eat that, Jillian Michaels, muscle confusion, slow carb diet, blah blah blah.

    Just get stronger. Dedicate your life to getting stronger every day.

    Maybe you don't like pushups. Then maybe you spend the next year of your life becoming someone who can run a sub 4 minute mile. After you become someone who can run a mile in under 4 minutes, take a look at your body and recalibrate.

    Don't like running? Then maybe you spend the next year of your life becoming someone who can perform 100 burpees in a row. Don't like burpees? Then maybe you become someone who can perform 200 jumping jacks in a row.

    It really doesn't matter what exercise you choose. Just pick something. And either get stronger at it, or be able to do it faster, or longer, or faster and longer.

    We could spend all day talking diet, macro nutrition, micro nutrition, exercise selection...the insane minutia of the fitness world is infinite.

    But unless you are training for the Olympics or training to be a professional level athlete, all you really need to do is get stronger.

    If you can do what gladiators can do, you are going to look like gladiators look.

    Now I know you are a beautiful woman and you probably are not going for the gladiator look, but my point is that the easiest way to LOOK physically impressive, is to become someone who can DO something physically impressive.

    So keep is simple. Pick one thing. One simple little thing. Something as simple as pushups. And become a complete bad *kitten* at it.

    Best post I've read on this site. Awesome advice!

    Love this and it means there is always room for improvement and new goals...keep evolving and improving

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