One step forward and 2 steps back

How do you remain constant with your diet plan, seeing as how being consistent is the only way to truly succeed?

I go through cycles of eating very healthy and being a stellar myfitnesspal user for about a week, but then I have a couple weeks of returning to my old ways. I eventually have those days where I look in the mirror and am horrified by my body and health, then the cycle repeats.

Every time I start living healthy again, I really believe it is the time that I won't give up, but it continues to happen. I would love advice from those of you who are finding success, whether it involved this obstacle or not. Thank you!

Replies

  • I struggle with this also - I think everyone does at some points. The key really is being consistent. In the past if I've slipped up I've kind of thought a long the lines of oh well I've stuffed it up now I may as well be bad for the rest of the day. This often turned into 2 days , then 3 and then hell I've really stuffed it up so I'll be good again next week! Sound familiar?

    One bad meal, one bad day didn't put the weight on. it's been weeks, months even years of poor diet and excercise. I think a lot of the time we want to be instantly skinny and fit but it just doesnt' work that way. ( I wish it did) I struggle with this too

    Im really working on being consistent myself. The other day I ate a pack of jelly beans but instead of blowing it for the whole day like I would normally do, I just worked out a little longer to counteract it and was right back on track.

    Add me as a friend if you like and we can try and keep each other consistent.

    I have recently started turbo fire and am loving eating really healthy, i'm less stressed at work and feel so much healthier and generally happier ( must be all those endorphins) Keep at it lovely, I look forward to hearing about your success :) x
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    How do you remain constant with your diet plan, seeing as how being consistent is the only way to truly succeed?

    I had to decide I wanted it badly enough. That might sound like a snotty answer, but it was the truth for me. Until I got to that point, nothing was likely to stick.

    The other thing I did was set a reasonable calorie deficit. I only aimed for 1 lb loss per week, right from the beginning, which gave me a calorie goal that never made me feel like I was missing out on things.
  • hedean
    hedean Posts: 40 Member
    This was really wonderful to hear. Thank you! It helps to know that other people have dealt with this but are working through it, like you. I will work on my consistency and working out to counteract things. Keep up the great work!
  • DawnEH612
    DawnEH612 Posts: 574 Member
    I have several comments. One, it takes about 90 days to truly set a new habit in place. So, try to commit to 90 days of consistently logging. Find some some MFP friend you can truly connect with and stay equally involved with their progress as you want them to be with yours. Get to know something about them, personally... Are they a student? Mom? And inquire about their life outside of MFP. Think of this as a lifestyle change. Tomorrow I will be on here, without fail, for 701 days. I have been committed to my goal since that date and am just as committed as I was back then, just less militant due to my learning and growing process.
    The other things I am gonna put out there is food is rarely the real issue, and it's usually not a lack of willpower or even laziness. I found, after I did some TRUE honest soul searching, my issue was not my weight or food. It as my head... Once I got the cobwebs cleaned out of my head, the weight started to come off. MIT wasn't easy. I had some childhood abandonment issues and I have now found how relevant they were to my eating to fill a void, to feel love, etc.
    My relationship with food was unhealthy. It was always unhealthy, that's all I ever knew. My initial goal was not to loose weight but to gain a healthy relationship with food. I lost over 50 pounds in the process! You may want to ask yourself, "what purpose does it serve for me to stay overweight?" " what purpose does it serve for me to keep staring and stopping? What purpose does food serve in my life? Do I see food as comfort? Safety, love, companion? Stress relief? Do you label food as "good" or "bad"? I now look at food as nutrition and how it can benefit or diminish from my body's healthy.
    Do you feel uncomfortable getting attention based on physical appearance? What would have to change, long term, to achieve the goal u have set for yourself? Is the goal reasonable? Maybe just set an initial goal to just log without trying to loose weight or only reducing your caloric intake by 150 calories per day and walking for 20 minutes a day. I can't help but think there is some purpose to your staring and stopping your efforts.
    Outside of that PLAN your meals and snacks ahead of time, before you get hungry. Remember you're worth the effort if this is something you truly desire to do. I never thought I would ever ever ever get off the dieting yo-yo, but I did. You can too!
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    The following re-post is the perfect answer to your situation. I am posting this with the permission of the author.

    http://actionfiguremini.tumblr.com/post/53432744622/lost-your-motivation-my-standard-answer


    Lost Your Motivation? My Standard Answer. Actually, you don’t need inspiration or motivation. You think you’ve “lost your motivation”. I assure you, you have not. Do you still want to be smaller, tighter, more defined and even muscular? Do you still want to avoid the complications of obesity? Heart disease? Stroke? Certain cancers? Painful joints? Limited mobility? Decreased social status (even though it seems unfair and we wish it weren’t so)? I assume the answers are “yes”. Then you are still motivated.

    What has happened is that your emotional state changed. You are no longer excited about doing the work it takes to get there. Well, that was ALWAYS going to happen. Human beings are creatures of emotional change. We can no more maintain a constant state of “motivation” than we can be always happy or always angry or always sad. If a person has unchanging emotional states, that is actually criteria for a diagnosis of mental illness. What you need is to use your self-discipline.Now, the good news is, you already have the discipline you need, you just haven’t applied it to this project yet.

    You have a job, correct? Do you show up, every day (or at least the vast majority of days) you’re scheduled unless you have a legitimate reason to miss? Or do you go on the days you’re excited and just not bother to show up if you don’t feel “inspired”?

    Do you do your assignments at work whether they’re personally interesting to you or not? Or do you only do the stuff you feel like doing and lie or hide evidence about the stuff you didn’t bother doing because it didn’t interest you?

    How about paying your bills? Do you pay the ones you are motivated to pay and blow the rest of your money on booze, drugs, video games and other frivolous stuff? Or do you, like most of us, pay your bills because you like eating and sleeping indoors? If you can manage these things, then congratulations, you have self-discipline.

    Your weight loss project is the same kind of thing. You can’t just do it when you feel like it and then blow it off the rest of the time. You need to do it, consistently, most of the time or it will not succeed. You need to do the mental work necessary to move “taking care of my body appropriately” into the same mental category you have for all these other grown-up activities, that is “stuff I have to do whether I’m in the mood for it or not, or the consequences will be more unpleasant than I wish to bear”.The tool you need to use is habits.

    Figure out your diet, what worked for you in the past or what you want to do now. Unless it’s something obviously crazy, like eating 600 calories a day, they all have various strengths and weaknesses and human beings are adaptable enough that we can thrive on different approaches. Then make a commitment to stick to that, every day, no cheats, no exceptions for at least six weeks, preferably 12.

    Make it easy for yourself to eat according to your plan. Perhaps you need to use a menu and a shopping list. Perhaps you need to get bad foods out of your house or at least segregate your food into a separate cabinet. Perhaps you need to cook ahead. Whatever works for your specific situation, make that happen.

    Make it hard for yourself to break your diet. Don’t buy things that are triggers for you. If you are a fast food junkie, avoid the triggering restaurants, even if it means changing your commute for the time being. Whatever your specific danger zones are, make changes to avoid them.

    Figure out what activity you want to do, the one that makes you feel energized and alive. Then set aside time to do that. Make that time your sacred time, your investment in yourself. Don’t just randomly try to fit stuff in whenever you “have time for it”.

    It is much easier to kick yourself out the door at 5:30 pm on Wednesday to go bike riding if you ALWAYS go bike riding at 5:30 pm on a Wednesday. This is the only body you get. Taking care of it is more important than wasting your time on web browsing or watching reruns on Netflix. Do this consistently too, for the same amount of time as the diet.

    It will be hard, especially if you don’t have “motivation” to help you. Some days you will just be out there in a horrible mood, wondering why you ever started this and just going through the motions. So what? Your body will still burn calories either way. But at the end, you will have habits that support your healthy lifestyle. Sticking to it will be easier then.

    And guess what? Motivation doesn’t just go away and stay gone forever. It comes back. You will get little bursts of motivation with every new success. Every inch lost. Every pound lost. Every pound more you can lift. Every extra pushup you can do. Every minute shaved off your personal best run time. Every kilometer further you can run. All of these will excite and “motivate” you like no photoshopped slogan on pinterest ever.

    tl;dr Just do it.
  • boatsie77
    boatsie77 Posts: 480 Member
    If you're using food as a coping/reward mechanism (as I was), it's important to recognize what's going on in your mind at that time that is driving you back to your addiction to food in order to fill a void. Working on the "cause" of the addiction, as well as the symptoms (overweight & self-loathing) of the addiction is the only way to end the yo-yo cycle. I found the book "Unteathered Soul" extremely helpful in calming the voices in my head and teaching me to live in the NOW--which in turn helped considerably in going through the mechanics of dropping the weight (diet & exercise) and practice living a healthy lifestyle.

    The best way to start is to love your body and self exactly as you are NOW...if that is too much of a leap, try being truly grateful to your body for all the amazing things that it's done up to this point...it really is a spectacular machine and has served you well.
  • DawnEH612
    DawnEH612 Posts: 574 Member
    FANTASTIC post,
    The following re-post is the perfect answer to your situation. I am posting this with the permission of the author.

    http://actionfiguremini.tumblr.com/post/53432744622/lost-your-motivation-my-standard-answer


    Lost Your Motivation? My Standard Answer. Actually, you don’t need inspiration or motivation. You think you’ve “lost your motivation”. I assure you, you have not. Do you still want to be smaller, tighter, more defined and even muscular? Do you still want to avoid the complications of obesity? Heart disease? Stroke? Certain cancers? Painful joints? Limited mobility? Decreased social status (even though it seems unfair and we wish it weren’t so)? I assume the answers are “yes”. Then you are still motivated.

    What has happened is that your emotional state changed. You are no longer excited about doing the work it takes to get there. Well, that was ALWAYS going to happen. Human beings are creatures of emotional change. We can no more maintain a constant state of “motivation” than we can be always happy or always angry or always sad. If a person has unchanging emotional states, that is actually criteria for a diagnosis of mental illness. What you need is to use your self-discipline.Now, the good news is, you already have the discipline you need, you just haven’t applied it to this project yet.

    You have a job, correct? Do you show up, every day (or at least the vast majority of days) you’re scheduled unless you have a legitimate reason to miss? Or do you go on the days you’re excited and just not bother to show up if you don’t feel “inspired”?

    Do you do your assignments at work whether they’re personally interesting to you or not? Or do you only do the stuff you feel like doing and lie or hide evidence about the stuff you didn’t bother doing because it didn’t interest you?

    How about paying your bills? Do you pay the ones you are motivated to pay and blow the rest of your money on booze, drugs, video games and other frivolous stuff? Or do you, like most of us, pay your bills because you like eating and sleeping indoors? If you can manage these things, then congratulations, you have self-discipline.

    Your weight loss project is the same kind of thing. You can’t just do it when you feel like it and then blow it off the rest of the time. You need to do it, consistently, most of the time or it will not succeed. You need to do the mental work necessary to move “taking care of my body appropriately” into the same mental category you have for all these other grown-up activities, that is “stuff I have to do whether I’m in the mood for it or not, or the consequences will be more unpleasant than I wish to bear”.The tool you need to use is habits.

    Figure out your diet, what worked for you in the past or what you want to do now. Unless it’s something obviously crazy, like eating 600 calories a day, they all have various strengths and weaknesses and human beings are adaptable enough that we can thrive on different approaches. Then make a commitment to stick to that, every day, no cheats, no exceptions for at least six weeks, preferably 12.

    Make it easy for yourself to eat according to your plan. Perhaps you need to use a menu and a shopping list. Perhaps you need to get bad foods out of your house or at least segregate your food into a separate cabinet. Perhaps you need to cook ahead. Whatever works for your specific situation, make that happen.

    Make it hard for yourself to break your diet. Don’t buy things that are triggers for you. If you are a fast food junkie, avoid the triggering restaurants, even if it means changing your commute for the time being. Whatever your specific danger zones are, make changes to avoid them.

    Figure out what activity you want to do, the one that makes you feel energized and alive. Then set aside time to do that. Make that time your sacred time, your investment in yourself. Don’t just randomly try to fit stuff in whenever you “have time for it”.

    It is much easier to kick yourself out the door at 5:30 pm on Wednesday to go bike riding if you ALWAYS go bike riding at 5:30 pm on a Wednesday. This is the only body you get. Taking care of it is more important than wasting your time on web browsing or watching reruns on Netflix. Do this consistently too, for the same amount of time as the diet.

    It will be hard, especially if you don’t have “motivation” to help you. Some days you will just be out there in a horrible mood, wondering why you ever started this and just going through the motions. So what? Your body will still burn calories either way. But at the end, you will have habits that support your healthy lifestyle. Sticking to it will be easier then.

    And guess what? Motivation doesn’t just go away and stay gone forever. It comes back. You will get little bursts of motivation with every new success. Every inch lost. Every pound lost. Every pound more you can lift. Every extra pushup you can do. Every minute shaved off your personal best run time. Every kilometer further you can run. All of these will excite and “motivate” you like no photoshopped slogan on pinterest ever.

    tl;dr Just do it.
  • hedean
    hedean Posts: 40 Member
    Yes that was a fantastic post, thank you! It's so true…I feel excited about losing weight and once that feeling goes away I give up. I never before realized that it was the loss of excitement, not motivation, though. Very interesting perspective
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    For me it was really a matter of re-training. I had to remove (a bad word on MFP) a few things that I knew caused me to get off track, and replace them with similar things. For me (ymmv) this was the key to making long term changes.

    FOR ME, it was the removal of heavily processed, enriched, bleached wheat in favor of 100 whole grain flours, removing added sugars as best I could (they are in everything) and a few other things....removing them, FOR ME, made it easier to eat at a deficit and within my personal goals.

    FOR ME it led to an awareness (you have to read labels to know what's in stuff), the awareness led to being more mindful, which led to some bigger changes.

    That was 12years ago.

    Remember that you didn't gain weight overnight, and won't lose it that way. Remember that you have to want a leaner body more than you want whatever treat you're contemplating that will take you over your goals for the day.
    Remember that tomorrow is a new day.
    Best of luck!
  • AWESEOME - THANKS FOR THIS POST !
    The following re-post is the perfect answer to your situation. I am posting this with the permission of the author.

    http://actionfiguremini.tumblr.com/post/53432744622/lost-your-motivation-my-standard-answer


    Lost Your Motivation? My Standard Answer. Actually, you don’t need inspiration or motivation. You think you’ve “lost your motivation”. I assure you, you have not. Do you still want to be smaller, tighter, more defined and even muscular? Do you still want to avoid the complications of obesity? Heart disease? Stroke? Certain cancers? Painful joints? Limited mobility? Decreased social status (even though it seems unfair and we wish it weren’t so)? I assume the answers are “yes”. Then you are still motivated.

    What has happened is that your emotional state changed. You are no longer excited about doing the work it takes to get there. Well, that was ALWAYS going to happen. Human beings are creatures of emotional change. We can no more maintain a constant state of “motivation” than we can be always happy or always angry or always sad. If a person has unchanging emotional states, that is actually criteria for a diagnosis of mental illness. What you need is to use your self-discipline.Now, the good news is, you already have the discipline you need, you just haven’t applied it to this project yet.

    You have a job, correct? Do you show up, every day (or at least the vast majority of days) you’re scheduled unless you have a legitimate reason to miss? Or do you go on the days you’re excited and just not bother to show up if you don’t feel “inspired”?

    Do you do your assignments at work whether they’re personally interesting to you or not? Or do you only do the stuff you feel like doing and lie or hide evidence about the stuff you didn’t bother doing because it didn’t interest you?

    How about paying your bills? Do you pay the ones you are motivated to pay and blow the rest of your money on booze, drugs, video games and other frivolous stuff? Or do you, like most of us, pay your bills because you like eating and sleeping indoors? If you can manage these things, then congratulations, you have self-discipline.

    Your weight loss project is the same kind of thing. You can’t just do it when you feel like it and then blow it off the rest of the time. You need to do it, consistently, most of the time or it will not succeed. You need to do the mental work necessary to move “taking care of my body appropriately” into the same mental category you have for all these other grown-up activities, that is “stuff I have to do whether I’m in the mood for it or not, or the consequences will be more unpleasant than I wish to bear”.The tool you need to use is habits.

    Figure out your diet, what worked for you in the past or what you want to do now. Unless it’s something obviously crazy, like eating 600 calories a day, they all have various strengths and weaknesses and human beings are adaptable enough that we can thrive on different approaches. Then make a commitment to stick to that, every day, no cheats, no exceptions for at least six weeks, preferably 12.

    Make it easy for yourself to eat according to your plan. Perhaps you need to use a menu and a shopping list. Perhaps you need to get bad foods out of your house or at least segregate your food into a separate cabinet. Perhaps you need to cook ahead. Whatever works for your specific situation, make that happen.

    Make it hard for yourself to break your diet. Don’t buy things that are triggers for you. If you are a fast food junkie, avoid the triggering restaurants, even if it means changing your commute for the time being. Whatever your specific danger zones are, make changes to avoid them.

    Figure out what activity you want to do, the one that makes you feel energized and alive. Then set aside time to do that. Make that time your sacred time, your investment in yourself. Don’t just randomly try to fit stuff in whenever you “have time for it”.

    It is much easier to kick yourself out the door at 5:30 pm on Wednesday to go bike riding if you ALWAYS go bike riding at 5:30 pm on a Wednesday. This is the only body you get. Taking care of it is more important than wasting your time on web browsing or watching reruns on Netflix. Do this consistently too, for the same amount of time as the diet.

    It will be hard, especially if you don’t have “motivation” to help you. Some days you will just be out there in a horrible mood, wondering why you ever started this and just going through the motions. So what? Your body will still burn calories either way. But at the end, you will have habits that support your healthy lifestyle. Sticking to it will be easier then.

    And guess what? Motivation doesn’t just go away and stay gone forever. It comes back. You will get little bursts of motivation with every new success. Every inch lost. Every pound lost. Every pound more you can lift. Every extra pushup you can do. Every minute shaved off your personal best run time. Every kilometer further you can run. All of these will excite and “motivate” you like no photoshopped slogan on pinterest ever.

    tl;dr Just do it.
  • walterm852
    walterm852 Posts: 409 Member
    bump
  • neanderthin
    neanderthin Posts: 10,222 Member
    People seem to believe they need to reinvent the wheel in order to lose weight. Removing foods deemed dirty or unhealthy and reducing calories to much is the cornerstone of fail. Include the foods you like and create a deficit that doesn't make you want to eat your pet.:happy:
  • lthames0810
    lthames0810 Posts: 722 Member
    I used to be just like you, going strong on my diet and excercise plan, then losing focus for days at a time. I've done this enough times in my life that I eventually learned a few things about myself. Lately I have been more consistent because of applying mainly this lesson:

    I used to go full speed ahead on a new project, then flame out. I'm not a person with good self discipline. Now, I don't set myself impossible standards by which to measure compliance or success. For example, I used to resolve to pack all my lunches from home with only healthy food and cook healthy meals at home every night. That wouldn't last for more than a few days, due to being too lazy to pack my lunch the night before, then leaving to little time to pack it before work. I figured out what I could buy at a convience store that fit in my calorie allowance and ate those things when discipline failed. I also have a restaurant near my home that has some acceptable things on the menu that I can eat for dinner.

    Another thing I used to do was resolve to get up at 5:00 AM every day to go out running in my neighborhood. First of all, I hate running and couldn't make myself do it every day. Second, I'm reluctanct to get up earlier than I absolutely have to on any day, much less every day. So I found an excercise at the gym that I can tolerate and I do it maybe twice a week. Then on the weekends I ride my bicycle (which I really love) for a few hours.

    Even I have been able to live up to these standards...mostly. Even if I fail, I stop it at one meal, or one missed workout, forgive myself, "keep calm and carry on."
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
    Isnt looking horrified with yourself enough motivation? No advice extra necessary. Its up to you.
  • KahalaGal
    KahalaGal Posts: 112 Member
    bump
  • Cinloykko
    Cinloykko Posts: 117 Member
    I totally understand!!! I've been on and off this yo-yo habit for way too long. I'm feeling the burn-out right now and its not pretty.
    I love all the motivation in this thread. i'm Bumping to read again in the future :)