Teaching children about weight and nutrition

Lots of parents have a growth scale or mark on the door where their children have grown to. If you had the same with a weight, they wouldn't think it strange when they became teenagers - and it would be pretty easy to figure out a healthy range for them to stay in. They key is healthy _range_ because that will remind them that sometimes they need to put on weight too.

No. No. No.

I have four kids. 3 from my previous marriage (boys), and I only get them in the summers and at holidays since we live in a separate state. I always had them exercise with me, but their food habits are bad since they're dad is obese and does not care to take care of his health, and fitness doesn't even come close to existing for him. My (step) daughter is 11, and kind of on the cusp of becoming overweight. Her dad and I have been married for less than 2 years so it's a whole new world for her though she does run, and we have her working out 3x per week. We live in a "church culture" so we're always battling since "church food" is always a big part of our lives. I don't push anything on her, but I do set the example. She's 110lbs. at 11 years old so it's something we're keeping a close eye on since I was 115lbs. when I was 18, and we have the same body frame -- though she's not mine biologically there is a lot of similarities in our body type that I can relate with. I just have a lot of "cleaning" up to do since lots of bad food habits were introduced to her from very early on in life from her biological mom.

I think it's a slippery slope, personally. If a kid knows too much about nutrition, they might start obsessing about what's healthy, being too fat etc... I think it's much healthier to teach everything in moderation and just give a good example (like saying no, you can't have another cookie, those are special treats, instead of 'those are bad for you'). The last thing I want is my 5yo to start demonizing food.

I do wonder though if seeing their mom weigh their food all the time is not just going to do just that though.

The idea was giving her the tools to manage her own weight when she gets to the stage where she is more in control of her food and habits.

This is not something you want to do with an adolescent. Modeling healthy behavior and making healthy foods the staple in your household are important, but don't even mention "managing" her weight. Please do not do this to your child.

If at some point she does seem to be getting out of control, talk to her doctor about it. But don't create a problem.

All due respect but...It's our responsibility as parents to teach our children about right food choices, bodily exercise, and over all health. Leading by example should be #1 and never letting your child use the "fat" word but this world is waaay too full of obese people, and I feel it's my responsibility to teach my child about this. I was allowed to eat an entire bag of chips and soda for a snack and was told it was acceptable. It's not...because though I was a thin teenager by the time I was 20...I was almost 200lbs., and had high blood pressure, cholesterol, and was near being diabetic. No one taught me, and over the past 10 years I realize how much easier thing would have been on me had someone showed me "the way". I'm proud of my 100lb. weight loss, and the fact I have a passion for fitness but as long as my kids live in my house they'll live our way. Still plenty of time for other fun activities but so as long as I buy the food...they'll eat what they're given. Why wouldn't anyone want that for their child?

All due respect but...It's our responsibility as parents to teach our children about right food choices, bodily exercise, and over all health. Leading by example should be #1 and never letting your child use the "fat" word but this world is waaay too full of obese people, and I feel it's my responsibility to teach my child about this. I was allowed to eat an entire bag of chips and soda for a snack and was told it was acceptable. It's not...because though I was a thin teenager by the time I was 20...I was almost 200lbs., and had high blood pressure, cholesterol, and was near being diabetic. No one taught me, and over the past 10 years I realize how much easier thing would have been on me had someone showed me "the way". I'm proud of my 100lb. weight loss, and the fact I have a passion for fitness but as long as my kids live in my house they'll live our way. Still plenty of time for other fun activities but so as long as I buy the food...they'll eat what they're given. Why wouldn't anyone want that for their child?

my Mom was the opposite she was obsessed with "healthy food" no white sugar, no white wheat, no cookies, no chocolate, no cake...EVER! When I had more independence and money I went straight to the forbidden food, and quickly fell into the binge cycle. I'm sure there is a balance between teaching moderation and healthful eating habits.

First off OP, bravo for being concerned enough to ask these questions. We don't know your household circumstances, only what you have offered here. I didn't have these similr concerns until recently. My daughter is 8 and I have split custody with her dad. 50/50 every other week. Our food choices are very different and she is starting to recognize this. There are some parents out there who seem to have all the answer and know the perfect way to parent. I am not one of them. I struggle. I use "bad" terms around my kids. Not on purpose, but if my daughter asks me a question at random, I answer and don't always choose my words wisely. At that point I find myself clarifying for her. It doesn't help when the schools are constantly talking about the childhood obesity weight here in Lincoln and pushing to reduce it. This is good and bad because then it brings my concerns to the front of my mind wondering if everything I say or do is somehow sabotaging my daughter's health.

In the end I just need to remember that all I can do is answer her questions as honestly as possible and to lead my life in a way that will show her that exercise is fun. I was so worried when I started to work out and eat better that she would end up becoming obsessed with it. I think this was me projecting my own fears of failure on to her. I was obsessed therefore I was afraid she would be as well.

As many other people have mentioned, lead by example, but remember that not one thing you do or say will ruin her weight and nutrition forever. Encourage her to be active by playing with her. Teach her good eating habits in how you eat. Most of all just enjoy her! Don't over think it and enjoy these moments while she is still little. They don't last long!

i make it all about health, and what the body needs each nutrient for (protein for growing and healing, fat for their brains and energy, vitamin D for their bones, etc) I'm totally downplaying the connection between diet and weight, because I have two girls and eating disorders are appearing in younger and younger girls these days, so it's just not worth the risk. A healthy diet is about far, far more than just whether you are fat or thin. Additionally, I don't want my girls to grow up thinking that aesthetics is more important than health. Hence the focus when I teach them about healthy eating, is on health. It also includes dental health, because a good reason for kids not to snack on sugary things all day is it leads to tooth decay. And this combined with encouraging them to do physical activity, obesity shouldn't happen so there's no reason to scare them with things like "don't eat x you'll get fat" which a) doesn't promote a healthy relationship with food and b) isn't true anyway, because getting fat is the result if eating more than you burn off, not eating specific foods.

Also, I'm not puritanical about healthy eating. I know a lot of cases where the parents were very strict about so-called "unhealthy" foods and once the kids got old enough to make their own food choices, they went OTT on all the foods they were not allowed when they were younger, and quickly got into unhealthy eating habits. IMO learning to enjoy everything in moderation (i,e, without going OTT) is a vital life skill, and so I let my kids have all the so-called unhealthy foods, but as part of a balanced diet where the main focus is on getting food from all the food groups. In terms of education, I focus on them understanding why their body needs each of the nutrients, and the concept that too much of anything can be bad for you and the concept of a balanced diet, rather than demonising specific foods and banning them.

Also I very much agree with modelling good nutrition not just teaching it. "Do what I say, not what I do" absolutely does *not* work with children. They want what you're eating and if you're telling them to eat more vegetables while you're eating a diet of dessert foods and no vegetables, then the message they get is "we're supposed to eat vegetables, but they suck and people prefer to eat dessert foods instead".

She said to google it and I did.

http://catchusa.org/documents/misc/GSW_with Intro_reduced format_English.pdf

It doesn't look so bad to me. As she said, nothing is off-limits. Just some things should be eaten with more moderation. And higher fat means higher calories.

I think whole milk, butter, and meat are dietary staples regardless of their calorie content -- not "whoa" foods to be avoided. Perhaps if people ate more of them they wouldn't be prone to overeating in the first place. I think it's terrible to be teaching that nonsense to kids.