How our view of ourselves can affect future generations

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mrsgrimsdale
mrsgrimsdale Posts: 60
in Motivation and Support
I saw this and it really rang true for me
My mother still to this day at 76 is dieting despite being skinny and berating me for neglecting to be thin too
Healthy is what we should all aim for irrelevant of scales, weight or size
Please follow the link and see if you can disagree
https://medium.com/human-parts/bf5111e68cc1

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  • cuinboston2014
    cuinboston2014 Posts: 848 Member
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    That's a really beautiful piece.

    I was just talking to my husband about this a day or two ago. My mom has always been thin. She's over 60 and still runs marathons, and looks about 10 years younger than she is. After having six kids she had some stretch marks on her tummy but otherwise an amazing body without ever trying too hard. She watched what she ate. And ran. A lot.

    But she always talked about how fat she is. My grandma always talks about how she wants to lose weight at 80 something (Which is a terrifying thought that at that age and a normal weight you think weight loss could be good...). My great grandma also was extremely particular about her weight and her body.

    So the message I heard? If you pay attention to what you eat you are still going to be miserable. you will still feel fat. You will still believe you are fat. Therefore, your life will suck. So I ate as much as I wanted. I stayed active but ate more than activity can outdo.

    My sister suffered from anorexia severely throughout college. I am not sure what I have but I do not have a healthy relationship with food or my body. Hopefully someday I will. And my mom still calls herself fat. Frequently. She uses words that are worse than that and it KILLS me. It actually makes me so mad. How can someone so beautiful really feel this way about themselves? And then it makes me feel like crap because I'm still the giant and so if she's fat and miserable and I'm actually fat then I must be useless. It's a vicious circle that takes a lot of self talk to get through.

    My daughter just turned 7 and is at the top of height and weight. Her weight is slightly higher than her weight percentile but she is still considered normal. I worry so much about her, probably unnecessarily as we control what is brought home and she is now over at grandma's only infrequently.

    I work so hard to never call anyone fat. I tell her it's not about being fat or skinny but about being healthy. But sometimes, it's so hard to look in the mirror and not say anything. I know she hears what I think she doesn't sometimes and that won't be good if it continues.

    She knows I work out and run a lot. She comes to my races. She thinks i"m beautiful. I don't want to her to change how she views me like the little girl in this piece did.....

    Thanks for sharing this - sorry for the long story :)
  • donnymom
    donnymom Posts: 32 Member
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    I am 56 and still struggling with the inner "fat" kid. I was a big kid in elementary school and kids teased me all the time. When I graduated from college and finally lost enough weight and felt good enough to wear a belt on a dress to go out to dinner, my mother took one look at me and asked, "you aren't going to wear that, are you?" My date told me I looked "beautiful!" I couldn't get over my mother's comment the whole evening. So....even when I did lose weight, I never felt good about it.
    I've had food issues all my life. Yes, we should be happy and work on being healthy! Not all of us will be able to lose weight and keep it off, not all of us will be happy even when we reach our goals. Just be healthy and happy!
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
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    I really really liked that alot.
    Thank you for sharing it.:smile:
  • dukesduchess350
    dukesduchess350 Posts: 77 Member
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    thank you for sharing the wonderful article. it brought tears to my eyes.:cry:
  • Slrajr
    Slrajr Posts: 438 Member
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    I think this is so true! Self-awareness and love for our individual strengths and differences can go a long way!
    I also know that the way we conduct ourselves and how we care for ourselves goes beyond our immediate families. Individual values, morals and beliefs shape societal values. We are a great influence in our children's lives, and community is a great influence in the lives of future generations.
    People who aren't parents make a difference too:)

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