49, female, tried everything

If one is working out and eating healthy, the changes occur on the inside before one ever sees them on the outside. Like the excess fat we carry on the outside, we have it on the inside, and our bodies start losing it where we gained it last and on the inside, clearing up the fat and building muscles on the inside, and muscle weighs more than fat so there may be a gain of muscle at the same time one is losing fat. Try taking your measurements and re-take measurements at a weekly or monthly pattern, and muscles take up less space. The loss in measurements would be motivating and you could balance that with the loss or gain of the weight scale.

Have you seen beef or pork with the fat running through the meat? That is similar to how the fat runs through our muscles. So when your scale says the same thing, it might simply be muscle replacing that fat.

You are eating too much.

Someone will always say this, and it is often a man Whatever the question, the answer is "eat less". Obviously, if you are not losing weight, there is a calories in/calories out problem. But the answer isn't simply to eat less.

When you hit (peri-)menopause, your metabolism slows down. Some studies ascribe this to the loss of lean body mass (LBM). The NIH says, "Menopause is associated with a gain in fat mass and a loss of lean body mass." I have seen suggestions that women who start menopause may lose LBM at double the rate they did before (haven't seen this proven).

So you can follow Mr Knight's advice and simply eat less, and eat even less next year as you lose more LBM, and eat still less the following year, until you eat like a bird. Or you can do something to reduce the loss of LBM, so you can eat more normally. Hence the advice from women who have been there - try strength training.

When I'm "sedentary" (rest days mostly) the difference between BMR and TDEE is much smaller than it used to be.

You are eating too much.

Step one, start logging everything - literally everything that passes your lips. Don't worry about goals or counting, just log until you are solidly in the habit of logging.

First, it's not an age thing. I get so pissed off when people are like, " I'm 50, it's so hard at my age." No it's not. It's hard at any age. It's the same thing at age 5 or age 95. It's about creating a calorie deficit. That's all. It's not harder at any age. Just eat less than you burn and you'll lose fat. It helps a ton if you strength train. But, even if you don't, it's simple math. It's not harder at 49 than at 29. The equation is exactly the same.

What I think people mean is at age 20, you burn calories faster, so it's easier to create a deficit. But, the equation is still the same equation. It's not harder. It's the same amount if effort at either age.

I get what you're saying, but disagree. It IS harder. It's all about creating a deficit, yes, and as you said it's EASIER to do that when you're younger. That makes it easier. Add hormonal changes that come with per-menopause and that *can* make it even more challenging. When I'm "sedentary" (rest days mostly) the difference between BMR and TDEE is much smaller than it used to be. The margin of error is smaller. Of course, these numbers are all hypothetical, since I don't know my actually BMR or TDEE, I only know what the formulas tell me.
And, yes, my hormonal levels are fluctuating daily, my sleep changes daily... all of which affects cortisol too, and that, then affects everything else. So, yeah, I'd say it *can* get harder with age. Semantics, perhaps. But I think it's harder, for me to shift weight, than it was at, say 22. It takes longer. It takes more perseverance, and the margin of error is smaller. I'd say that's harder. But, it's totally possible, as evidenced by all the fabulous ladies and men here.

I'll tell you my story FWIW.

No matter what my age I was never able to get down under 128 (my set point). That weight sits on a "fine-boned" structure so most of that weight was just fat. I never was much of a one for exercise. In my early 50s I saw a lot of my contemporaries gaining weight and decided to go on a mission to change things up. I researched food and took a look at how I was eating. WAY too many carbs. I did a South Beach type change to my eating plan (for me looking at ratio of food types on my plate was easier to put into a "lifestyle" than counting calories--although I know MANY are huge proponents of the calorie counting approach so each person has to find what works for him/her). I started putting in more effort to walking...faster, more minutes/miles, more hills. But the real body changer was lifting weights. I started on the machines at the gym. After some months of doing that I can honestly tell you that I was in the best shape of my life and got down to 113 pounds (a 15 pound weight loss during menopausal time on a body that was already fairly "thin" by some standards). We live in a condo complex on a lake and I lived in a bikini those next couple of summers.

I've not been tending to business and not only are the pounds slowly creeping back but I've lost all my nice muscle tone I had.

I've just joined here and am working on getting back into better food habits and exercise. I just started Jillian Michaels "Ripped in 30" program.

Medical issues aside, it is NOT harder as you get older. The equation remains the same. Yes, your metabolism slows down. That means you eat less. I think that's why people say it's harder. It's not harder, it's the same. I think if you have medical issues or hormonal issues, that changes the equation. Then, yes, it's probably more difficult because the equation is now lopsided. It's no longer calories in/out, but there's an odd factor that impacts everything.