Y'all...I need help!

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Replies

  • kregerems
    kregerems Posts: 100 Member
    I gained four pounds over Christmas!! FOUR!!!!!!! What am I gonna do?????

    crying.gif

    Take a deep breath. It isn't the end of the world. If you ate foods high in salt you have water retention, you could have eaten more than you should have without working out, or it could be your time of the month. Anyway, start over, count your calories and watch what you eat for the next few days. Put in some extra cardio and maybe even some weight training. Don't panic you can drop the weight, but you have to watch what you eat and how much. Plus be patient.
  • laceyfowler
    laceyfowler Posts: 127 Member
    Sex...you need lots of it. :love: :flowerforyou:
    Ew, Ew, and Ewww. She didn't come here to be hit upon by a 50yr old! :huh:

    Or maybe she did - let's not be so quick to judge ;-)

    OP - there's some neat-o new thing going around on Facebook, I think it's for some pills and you can lose 15lb in 5 days.... aaand I'm pretty sure that if you order in the next few hours, you get a second bottle... Absolutely Free (just pay separate shipping and handling) ;-) ;-)
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    Cabbage soup diet. 2% of the time, it works every time.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    Cabbage soup diet. 2% of the time, it works every time.
    vomit.gif
  • herblackwings39
    herblackwings39 Posts: 3,930 Member
    I know this is pretty standard advise but the only way to save yourself is to juice for 28 days :-( Absolutely no protein of fat, just tomato and carrot juice. You will feel much better afterwards :-)

    Is prune juice ok too? Or is there too much sugar in it?

    Prune juice makes you poop. Girls don't poop. Prune juice makes you poop...Prune juice will turn you into a guy.
  • TX_Thundercat
    TX_Thundercat Posts: 2,437 Member
    Sex...you need lots of it. :love: :flowerforyou:
    Ew, Ew, and Ewww. She didn't come here to be hit upon by a 50yr old! :huh:

    Exactly!!! This sounds like a job for a 33 year old...
  • defenderoftheuniverse
    defenderoftheuniverse Posts: 32 Member
    I say you just give up and plan to stay single forever.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    water fasting for the next 3 months

    only choice get over it sorry
  • LishieFruit89
    LishieFruit89 Posts: 1,956 Member
    Amber's cleanse!

    3 parts kale
    1 part something I forget (banana?)
    4 parts disappointment (cauliflower)

    Cleanse is copyright ILiftHeavyAcrylics
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    has amputation been suggested? the amazons found this was the best way for them to lose weight
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Take a 4-pound dump?

    Girls don't poop. Silly.

    Yeah WOMEN poop big trucker type dumps too
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
    Let's see, since we all KNOW it's NOT calories in calories out, you therefore must:

    1. Skip breakfast for awesome hunger control (really, don't mind your stomach growling, it doesn't know what it's taking about).
    2. Drink 32 oz of water before each meal.
    3. Throw all the sugar, flour, and grains in the trash (don't bother with the foodbank, what do you want to do, POISON those poor people?)
    4. Drink 4 glasses of apple cider vinegar (Braggs is the only one guaranteed to work).
    5. Eat 12 small meals a day (after your morning fast of course).
    6. Get up and do jumping jacks every 10 minutes for 20 minutes.

    MFP community, did I miss anything??
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,585 Member
    has amputation been suggested? the amazons found this was the best way for them to lose weight

    okay now I have to look up stuff about the amazons! woooooo

    amputation seems really reasonable
  • kathyflannery129
    kathyflannery129 Posts: 151 Member
    sing "If I only had a brain" sorry i couldn't resist.....
  • boymom75
    boymom75 Posts: 74
    This has been the most entertaning post of the day...so thank you.

    Cardio is gonna be what I'm doing. I'm gonna Zumba my holidays away. :smile:
  • djxil
    djxil Posts: 357
    Did you log while you were gaining? Do you know where the calories/sugar, etc... came from? I assume you don't really need us to tell you what to do, per se, you probably already know that.

    That said, accept the gain as an aberration, b/c of the holidays cause us all to veer off the path a little. You do not necessarily need to purge your body or fast (though, nothing wrong with those ideas), just re-focus on what helped you lose those 4 pounds previously (as long as it was healthy).

    If you did it before, doing it the second time should be even easier.

    Peace.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Cabbage soup diet. 2% of the time, it works every time.

    :laugh:

    So what you're saying is there's a chance!
  • Mr_Starr
    Mr_Starr Posts: 139 Member
    ...
  • revkhyler
    revkhyler Posts: 21
    This too shall pass; hang in there! You'll lose it again, we have faith in you.
    (The holidays (holi-daze) are such a challenge... I had some weight gain around Thanksgiving and am finally starting to shed some of it. I want to fit into my cute jeans again!!!! :cry: )
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Let's see, since we all KNOW it's NOT calories in calories out, you therefore must:

    1. Skip breakfast for awesome hunger control (really, don't mind your stomach growling, it doesn't know what it's taking about).
    2. Drink 32 oz of water before each meal.
    3. Throw all the sugar, flour, and grains in the trash (don't bother with the foodbank, what do you want to do, POISON those poor people?)
    4. Drink 4 glasses of apple cider vinegar (Braggs is the only one guaranteed to work).
    5. Eat 12 small meals a day (after your morning fast of course).
    6. Get up and do jumping jacks every 10 minutes for 20 minutes.

    MFP community, did I miss anything??

    Coffee enema? Juice fast?
  • Fullsterkur_woman
    Fullsterkur_woman Posts: 2,712 Member
    Pretty sure you gon' die, OP. Sorry. :flowerforyou:
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    Pretty sure you gon' die, OP. Sorry. :flowerforyou:

    tumblr_m8prfmsKnQ1rx196ao1_500_zps691d1ab8.gif
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    ...

    I'll get the noose ready. It's your only option now.
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    Let's see, since we all KNOW it's NOT calories in calories out, you therefore must:

    1. Skip breakfast for awesome hunger control (really, don't mind your stomach growling, it doesn't know what it's taking about).
    2. Drink 32 oz of water before each meal.
    3. Throw all the sugar, flour, and grains in the trash (don't bother with the foodbank, what do you want to do, POISON those poor people?)
    4. Drink 4 glasses of apple cider vinegar (Braggs is the only one guaranteed to work).
    5. Eat 12 small meals a day (after your morning fast of course).
    6. Get up and do jumping jacks every 10 minutes for 20 minutes.

    MFP community, did I miss anything??

    Coffee enema? Juice fast?

    squats and deadlifts
  • RivenV
    RivenV Posts: 1,667 Member
    Let's see, since we all KNOW it's NOT calories in calories out, you therefore must:

    1. Skip breakfast for awesome hunger control (really, don't mind your stomach growling, it doesn't know what it's taking about).
    2. Drink 32 oz of water before each meal.
    3. Throw all the sugar, flour, and grains in the trash (don't bother with the foodbank, what do you want to do, POISON those poor people?)
    4. Drink 4 glasses of apple cider vinegar (Braggs is the only one guaranteed to work).
    5. Eat 12 small meals a day (after your morning fast of course).
    6. Get up and do jumping jacks every 10 minutes for 20 minutes.

    MFP community, did I miss anything??

    Coffee enema? Juice fast?

    squats and deadlifts

    Someone already mentioned amputations, but I like my lists comprehensive.

    kNPST27.gif
  • LishieFruit89
    LishieFruit89 Posts: 1,956 Member
    Let's see, since we all KNOW it's NOT calories in calories out, you therefore must:

    1. Skip breakfast for awesome hunger control (really, don't mind your stomach growling, it doesn't know what it's taking about).
    2. Drink 32 oz of water before each meal.
    3. Throw all the sugar, flour, and grains in the trash (don't bother with the foodbank, what do you want to do, POISON those poor people?)
    4. Drink 4 glasses of apple cider vinegar (Braggs is the only one guaranteed to work).
    5. Eat 12 small meals a day (after your morning fast of course).
    6. Get up and do jumping jacks every 10 minutes for 20 minutes.

    MFP community, did I miss anything??

    Coffee enema? Juice fast?

    squats and deadlifts

    Someone already mentioned amputations, but I like my lists comprehensive.

    kNPST27.gif

    Raspberry Keytones?
    ItWorks! wraps?
  • Azexas
    Azexas Posts: 4,334 Member
    giphy.gif
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
    Thank you all for being so helpful! I think I'm gonna do a cleanse, amputate something, go on the cabbage soup diet and join a convent. I'm sure I'll lose 40 or 50 pounds by New Years so I can wear a slinky dress!!
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member

    Someone already mentioned amputations, but I like my lists comprehensive.

    kNPST27.gif

    I just wanted to quote this because it's a Firefly gif.
  • latenitelucy
    latenitelucy Posts: 1,314 Member
    You should google Dr Oz. Between him and Dr Phil, I hold the answers to all of life's questions.

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