Monkey Branching

shows lack of respect for yourself, your current partner and whoever the new branch is.


plenty of people do it, but those people are nutless *kitten*, so there ya go

It's a bunch of monkey business, if you ask me.

If I think it depends on the relationship. If your in a married relationship where both partners are relatively engaged, and there is hope to work on the relationship to increase the satisfaction for both partners, then looking for an upgrade outside of the relationship will destroy it, and is a despicable thing to do. You can't be actively engaged in a relationship with one foot out the door.

On the other hand, if both partners have thrown in the towel, there is no communication, or even a desire to improve a failing relationship then there are other considerations. If staying in a loveless relationship serves to avoid serious distress financially, socially, with family, or for other reasons, then it at least has some benefits if not contributing to companionship, or emotional support. If both partners understand where things stand, why cause unnecessary duress while other options are not available. Perhaps it's not wise to let go of one branch before you have the next one in sight.

edit - It's important point of reference that both partners be aware that either of them may be looking outside the relationship. In any circumstance where one partner has no idea that the other is potentially looking to upgrade, it would be nothing more than cheating and hurtful. No way to paint that in a positive light.

You shouldn't monkey around with peoples feelings.

this

I'd say if you're actively looking for another partner then relationship is already over, you're just too much of a coward to admit it. Not to mention it shows a total lack of respect for your current partner, which, regardless of how you feel about them, is the bare minimum they deserve.

So yeah, no.

this

\shows lack of respect for yourself, your current partner and whoever the new branch is.

plenty of people do it, but those people are nutless *kitten*, so there ya go

and this

It's a bunch of monkey business, if you ask me.

It's a bunch of monkey business, if you ask me.

LOL!

If you're not happy in your current relationship, end it first and take some time to think about what you really want! It's not fair to your current partner or any future partners. Lets face it, it's cheating, no matter what you call it.

What about the idea that it is easier to find someone new when you already have someone? Sort of like the idea that it is easier to find a new job when currently employed. Does that line of thought apply here? What’s the difference?

In a way, monkey branching could be setting yourself up nicely going forward.

IDK at least your new employer understands when you have to give the old job a two week notice. The scheduling of two relationships is horrendous unless you can work out some sort of sister wife scenario.

Of course maybe the new relationship will understand when you have to give the old broad a two bang notice.

It's a bunch of monkey business, if you ask me.

LOL!

If you're not happy in your current relationship, end it first and take some time to think about what you really want! It's not fair to your current partner or any future partners. Lets face it, it's cheating, no matter what you call it.

What about the idea that it is easier to find someone new when you already have someone? Sort of like the idea that it is easier to find a new job when currently employed. Does that line of thought apply here? What’s the difference?

In a way, monkey branching could be setting yourself up nicely going forward.

not a valid analogy to the job situation because there's no emotional attachments to jobs and it's just business. people move all the time and should do so for better opportunities, especially since economic trends since the 80's/90s largely result in employees being penalized in the long run for staying loyal to 1 employer for the majority of their working career.

in relationships, the only people who are attracted to people already in relationships with others are pretty much bottom feeders who want what other people have and usually end up not wanting to keep something so easily stolen


so i guess i come down to what type of relationship you want : if you want a mature grown up relationship built on trust, honesty, open communication, intimacy and mutual respect then monkey branching isn't the way to go

What are your thoughts on monkey branching?

For those unaware of it, monkey branching is when someone actively starts to look for a new relationship before breaking up with the current partner. If executed correctly, when the break up happens, the person is already walking into a new relationship.

In a lot of ways, I think monkey branching makes sense. The downside to monkey branching is being monkey branched by someone.

I am not surprised at ALL that you think this is a good thing.

I'm even less surprised that you only think it's good if you're the person doing it and not so much if it's done to you.

Personally, if I ever found myself engaged in any kind of relationship with someone like you, I'd be running away far too fast to look for someone else first.

It's a bunch of monkey business, if you ask me.

LOL!

If you're not happy in your current relationship, end it first and take some time to think about what you really want! It's not fair to your current partner or any future partners. Lets face it, it's cheating, no matter what you call it.

What about the idea that it is easier to find someone new when you already have someone? Sort of like the idea that it is easier to find a new job when currently employed. Does that line of thought apply here? What’s the difference?

In a way, monkey branching could be setting yourself up nicely going forward.

Sounds like a narcissistic perspective, demonstrating no empathy for the other person's feelings.

edit: Of course narcissists are plentiful here considering the nature of these boards.

It's a bunch of monkey business, if you ask me.

LOL!

If you're not happy in your current relationship, end it first and take some time to think about what you really want! It's not fair to your current partner or any future partners. Lets face it, it's cheating, no matter what you call it.

What about the idea that it is easier to find someone new when you already have someone? Sort of like the idea that it is easier to find a new job when currently employed. Does that line of thought apply here? What’s the difference?

In a way, monkey branching could be setting yourself up nicely going forward.

not a valid analogy to the job situation because there's no emotional attachments to jobs and it's just business. people move all the time and should do so for better opportunities, especially since economic trends since the 80's/90s largely result in employees being penalized in the long run for staying loyal to 1 employer for the majority of their working career.

in relationships, the only people who are attracted to people already in relationships with others are pretty much bottom feeders who want what other people have and usually end up not wanting to keep something so easily stolen


so i guess i come down to what type of relationship you want : if you want a mature grown up relationship built on trust, honesty, open communication, intimacy and mutual respect then monkey branching isn't the way to go

Since guys do the vast majority of approaching/initiating, even a guy with the best of intentions is going to approach someone already in a relationship. Also, there's a school of thought out there that the best women out there are always in a relationship so it might be necessary to approach/pursue women in existing relationships. I believe (and maybe erroneously) that the women in relationships looking for an excuse to leave/new guy are not going to let the new guy know she's in a relationship (assuming non-marriage relationship, divorces are more complicated). It's all complicated.

i get what you're saying but eventually they find out though. i mean how can they not, when it's so obvious people are already in relationships :laugh: if you're getting serious with someone then the only people who get the wool pulled over their eyes were those who just didnt want to believe . asking yourself stuff like
- why can we only go out to random parts of town or random "creep spots"?
- why can't i call this person at home or can't see their home?
- why is there clothing from the opposite sex where they live?
- why is this person sometimes super attentive but have times where they have fallen off the face of the planet like they are CIA?
- why have i never met any of this person's friends?
- or if i have met this person's friends why is it that they bring dates who are clearly clearly just FWB status?
- why do they hem and haw and act like you're asking them to solve differential equations problem when you ask them straight out "are you currently in a relationship?"?
etc

will surely get the answer. i find the last one is always a good way to determine. most people can't lie when directly asked a question out of the blue. those that can are usually socio or pychopaths, in which case them monkey branching is less of a problem than you potentially ending up in their crawlspace putting the lotion in the basket.


also i disagree with you that the "best" women out there are always in a relationship. the only women i know who are always in relationships are those who are fairly emotional immature, low self esteem, poor self image and define their worth based on what they can get out of the dudes out of their lives. sure they may look like dime pieces on the outside but they are more than likely more horrific than a bag filled with decapitated kitten heads on the inside.