are genetics really what makes you or breaks you? :(

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believer1988
believer1988 Posts: 55
in Health and Weight Loss
i was just talking to my mum and was saying how i want to lose as much as it takes to have a flatter belly, and she turned to me and said, " your never gonna lose that, cause you had a child and its in our family not to go back to the way you were before. is she right? i feel so upset now and that all my efforts are for nothing.

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  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    although you can't change your body shape there's no reason why everyone cant have the best body that's possible with their genetics.

    there are many women on here who have had great success getting flat stomachs after babies. you should look into strength training
  • gigglesinthesun
    gigglesinthesun Posts: 860 Member
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    she is partially right in that just losing weight isn't going to make you look like a supermodel or even like your own teenage body.

    It'll take time, exercise and determination. I have no doubt that you can achieve it if you put your mind to it.
  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
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    Genetics gave me the blueprint for that dreaded tummy apron. Morbid obesity made it really happen.

    I'm not sweating it. Personally, my goals involve better health, getting smaller just happens to be a bonus of my efforts to get healthier. That said, your mom doesn't have a crystal ball to see how you will actually lose. Tummy is the last to go, but that doesn't mean you'll never get there.

    Just keep moving forward. Forward!
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    My family is obese. I have had two kids (both while obese). I have a flat stomach because I worked hard for it.

    Genetics do not make or break you. Decide you want it and don't give up.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    i feel so upset now and that all my efforts are for nothing.

    If you've already decided she's right, why are you asking?
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    My family is obese. I have had two kids (both while obese). I have a flat stomach because I worked hard for it.

    Genetics do not make or break you. Decide you want it and don't give up.

    beautifully answered
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    Genetics make up a very small part of the equation. There is honestly very little genetic diversity in the human species.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    Genetics make up a very small part of the equation. There is honestly very little genetic diversity in the human species.

    good point shoot we arent really that diverse from a chimpanzee and barely much more different than a seahorse
  • Grace215lbs
    Grace215lbs Posts: 129 Member
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    No.. Just no. Thinking like this is what stops people and what makes them stall. Genetics plays a tiny part in all of this. If you know what part and how to get around it with change of life style, diet and excercise. Anyone can losecweight. No excuses. No put downs from people saying you'll always be fat. Just no. Dont let them put you down and brain wash you into a mindset that you cant be fit just because they cant be stuffed trying. You can do it. If you have trouble see you gp. He will say the same.
  • thatjosiegirl
    thatjosiegirl Posts: 362 Member
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    Anytime I have ever heard someone mention genetics as a reason for their weight, it is almost always in the form of an excuse. "Why bother trying, everyone in my family is like this"....

    Excuses, excuses...I don't buy them and neither should you! Hard work and dedication can get you were you need to be no matter what your genetics are.
  • GingerLolita
    GingerLolita Posts: 738 Member
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    Genetics certainly play a role, but that doesn't mean you can't reach a healthy weight, just that it might be more difficult to reach and maintain! However, make sure you're selecting a healthy, realistic goal; everyone has a set point for a healthy weight, but it may not as low as you'd like. I'm 5'6" and I used to want to be 125 lb., but I found that impossible to maintain when I dieted to reach that weight 5 years ago. My new goal is 140-145, which is within a healthy BMI range, but also a weight that I feel like I can maintain.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
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    I have many overweight family members on both sides of the family, but there are also many slender people.

    I have been overweight from day one. The doctor told my mother to put me on a diet as an infant and she did, but it didn't do much good. I was a fat kid. Why? Because she fed me too much, and then I ate too much my entire childhood and into adulthood.

    It took me until this last year to finally LEARN that it's not the kind of food I eat but how much I eat that causes weight gain.

    I'm one pound from my calorie goal and at the lowest weight I've ever been as an adult. My small clothes I worked so hard to get back into are now loose on me, but they feel so comfortable.

    Genetics might play a part in how much we learn to eat and whether or not we exercised as kids or how our parents felt about food. I believe eating too much is a learned behavior that we can unlearn.
  • twixlepennie
    twixlepennie Posts: 1,074 Member
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    i was just talking to my mum and was saying how i want to lose as much as it takes to have a flatter belly, and she turned to me and said, " your never gonna lose that, cause you had a child and its in our family not to go back to the way you were before. is she right? i feel so upset now and that all my efforts are for nothing.

    Rubbish. ALL the people on my mom's side of the family are overweight or obese. Great aunts and uncles, great grandma/grandpa, grandma and grandpa, uncles, my adult cousins, my mom (who is a yo yo dieting/binge eater) etc. Both of my sisters have struggled with their weight since they were teens, but they and I made the commitment to change, got off our butts and did something about it. Now two of us are in maintenance and my one sister is getting close.

    I've had three kids, all 22 months apart from each other, and my other sister who's also in maintenance, has three kids too. 'Genetics' also has dealt me a hand of a family tree full of diabetes. But guess what, I lost the weight and I'm no longer in the pre-diabetic range. Interestingly, everyone in my family who has/had diabetes is/were obese. Still genetics? Maybe, maybe not.

    Make the commitment to do this, and everything else is secondary.
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
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    How much is it really genetically? Isn't it often whole families are bigger because of the same wrong habits? My family is mainly big (obese) and even though I still got overweight I am about the skinniest and was normal weight at some point in my life. I also hear a lot that being big boned is an excuse to be overweight. Hogwash if you ask me! I am big boned, but that doesn't mean I have to weigh more then I should. It's just that my BMI should be more towards 25 instead of 20 to make it look good, but that is still within the limits of healthy weight!
  • Smeltzer2
    Smeltzer2 Posts: 210 Member
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    The dark haired women in my family have primary lympodemia which causes the lymph glands not to be able to filter fluid from the arms and legs.. It looked horrible on my older aunts that are now dead. My grandmothers bottom of her legs were like telephone poles at the bottom.. She only lived to age 61. My mother who had the same condition kept it under control and lived to 89. eRemember there are two sides to your family tree mom and dad and their ancestors. One can work through anything. With each generation i see this condition getting better not worse. New forms of therapy and exercise help. Goodlick. I am 70 and keep working with it.
  • fShaw86
    fShaw86 Posts: 878 Member
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    I tried dissecting your mom's words, but all I got was that she was trying to tell you to not beat yourself up over not being able to lose fat and stuff :)

    My paternal AND maternal grandmothers are of average weight but have ginormous behinds. I did too, until I started lifting and using the IIFYM meal plan! I definitely showed genetics LOL.
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
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    Think of genes as a set of probabilities, not as destiny. It may be more difficult for some people to achieve a certain body type based on genetics, but not necessarily impossible.
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
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    I'll never be tall. My mum's short, my dad's short, my sister's short. We're all short. I'm pretty sure that I'm genetically determined to be short.

    My BF% however is a product of my eating habits and activity level.

    Eat less, move more. Train intelligently, put in the time have some patience. That's all it takes.
  • inside_lap
    inside_lap Posts: 738 Member
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    i was just talking to my mum and was saying how i want to lose as much as it takes to have a flatter belly, and she turned to me and said, " your never gonna lose that, cause you had a child and its in our family not to go back to the way you were before. is she right? i feel so upset now and that all my efforts are for nothing.

    Sounds like your mom is trying to make excuses for why family members are the way they are. The thought is probably so ingrained as a family myth, it's become fact. Yes, it's harder to lose the weight after a baby because body composition and hormone levels can change. Yes, genetics plays a part in body type. However, not changing something just because it's a family myth makes family myth into fact.

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