Break-up Thread

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manetta1
manetta1 Posts: 138
in Motivation and Support
Hey everyone: I use to use this site a lot when I was battling with my weight. I'm going to shoot for another 15lbs before Halloween. I am going through a bad break up with someone I have loved since we were little. We were pen pals when we were 11-12 and now at the age of 27 we were able to meet last month. We had a connection that was magical, but she felt like it was too fast and said she loved me for years and I feel the same way. She just hopped out of a 7 year relationship and last year I did the same. I don't know how to get her out of my head. She feels like my soulmate. I've been through some bad break ups, but my heart tells me this is the girl I am meant to spend the rest of my life with. I am trying to cope with the thought of our disconnection. We are trying to be friends and talk, but its hard for me. At the same time I do not want to let her go completely. I am just trying to look for some support, because nothing seems to be working. I write a letter to her everyday that I feel I will never send. We were like the notebook, Noa and Allie. I thought about maybe waiting it out to Christmas. Maybe she just needs time to find out what she wants. Try to endure this pain while I write her a letter each day and maybe on Christmas create her a notebook of my thoughts so she is able to know how I felt all these months. She lives in Kansas and I am from Michigan, but I was going to move there. I don't know how to deal with this loss for now. I talk to her sister and I can't tell if I am clinging onto something that isn't there. So i am just reaching to anyone and everyone who can offer support because I don't have a leg to stand on. My hearts just broke...

Replies

  • MaryTheIceCube
    MaryTheIceCube Posts: 1,099 Member
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    So sorry you're hurting right now. I think you have the right idea. Wait it out a little to give her time to figure out what she wants. In the meantime, concentrate on yourself and your fitness journey. Hang in there! Things will get better! Feel free to add me as a friend on here if you like; I feel like the more support we have, the better.

    Also, if you're on Facebook, I have a group on there called Motivation. Feel free to check it out if you wish: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=268180696780&ref=ts

    Best wishes to you,

    ~ Chandra
  • cdsledge09
    cdsledge09 Posts: 167 Member
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    I agree with Mary's post. Just give her the space she needs and see if she is able to return the love you're looking for. In the meantime, taking care of yourself both physically and mentally is the best thing that you can do. And putting your efforts into something other than wondering what went wrong will certainly keep you from becoming too deeply depressed. I sincerely wish you the best in your situation as well as in your efforts to get healthier. Please feel free to add me as a friend if you like.

    :flowerforyou:
  • chrit4u
    chrit4u Posts: 34
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    She definitly needs her space, but at the same time, you need to look out for you and take care of you. If this is meant to be then it will be. Broken hearts hurt, but remember time can heal anything. If you need a friend to chat with feel free to send me a message. Sometimes just to have someone to talk to and vent to helps so much. It is so not good to hold it in. I will be a shoulder if you want one, and ear if you need me to listen and a voice if you need me to talk. Stay calm my friend! Christi
  • manetta1
    manetta1 Posts: 138
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    I appreciate all of your guys post: Frankly I just didn't know how to deal with it. I needed a girls perspective because when someone says that your not ready for a relationship. I take that as a sense of rejection and I begin to give up and begin my process of healing and moving on. With her I wanna hope and believe. I just think its crazy that we aren't, the way we were together and the things she said. I almost feel ilke this is a test of my feelings. She has a lot going on in her life, and i feel like I wanna take her stresses away and help her through it. I feel like we can get through it if we just were together talking about everything. I guess I am just being selfish. Mentally I could be better, hence I am going to 2-adays and going to shred the last 15lbs on me so i can look super lean. I don't really need to, i've gone my journey and lost about 40lbs and I am happy at my weight, i just wanna see how lean and defined I can go. I wish I knew why she feels she needs to carry this burden alone. I want to be present in her life, so many years we lost.
  • xlizzislegend
    xlizzislegend Posts: 44
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    Hey,

    I'm just now catching this thread (only a monthish late haha uhh...). Have things changed? For the better, I hope?

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