Too Fat To Be Photographed...
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MrsGriffin67
Posts: 485 Member
This was a share on FaceBook and I thought that I would share it here, too. I found it to be very touching and it hits WAY too close to home. Hope you enjoy it and maybe come out of it with a little bit of new insight on yourself and photos.
Listen. I hear you. You're a few pounds heavier than you like (or a 100 lbs heavier than you like). I completely understand how you feel. I get that same blah feeling about myself when I think about booking new head shots or long overdue pictures of me and Justin. Precious, I even picked a career that has me permanently behind the camera rather than in front of it. Seeing myself in pictures actually produces the faintest sick feeling in my stomach. Isn't it amazing we can see the beauty in our best friends, sisters, mothers, and aunts without the slightest thought to their flaws... but can obsess for hours on our own imperfections? We fixate on our flaws to the point we shirk at any documentation that our round faces and curvy bodies ever walked the earth. No pictures to show how we LOVE, how we laugh, how we are treasured by our families. How is it possible that a double chin can overpower the beauty of a mother cuddling her child? How does arm fat distract from the perfect shot of a spontaneous hug? I swear y'all... how is it that we can put more value on a TUMMY ROLL than the captivating way you throw yourself into a roar of laughter during a shoot?
In our warped minds pictures become frozen mirrors that we can stare at as we pick apart our features over and over again.
I know girl. I know.
My personal duck-and-cover (or signature "make a funny face") approach to having pictures of myself changed completely when I had a serious car accident last year (and started over). In the flash of a second (or a flash of the text message the young woman was reading) my entire life changed. I nearly left this earth with no physical evidence of the goofy, wide open and loud love I have for my life, my husband, my family and friends. I haven't had professional pictures done since our wedding in 2006... always waiting for this elusive moment where I would be thin enough (pretty enough) to have such a permanent record of me. Because, you know, HEAVEN FORBID there be any proof that I look the way I actually look.
So here is the harsh truth y'all. Listen good. Our vanity is no longer enough of a reason to avoid the camera. Life doesn't wait until you "get thin" enough to capture it. Life is happening... it is happening right now and the only moment we are guaranteed is the one we are living. I shudder at the thought of leaving behind no pictures of my life with ME in it. My mom says of the accident she is "just glad that we're still a whole family." My gift to her this Christmas was a family portrait showing just that, nine months post-accident... a whole family.
Do you know what my mom sees when she looks at this picture? Her beautiful family all together.
Do you know what my husband sees? The family he gained the moment he met me (and how much he looks like my dad...)
Do you know what my dad sees? The happy family he has worked for every day of his life.
Do you know what my brother sees? That he got away with wearing shorts...
Shocker: No one is looking at how fat I look.
Can we agree to put the value of family over the value of fat? Can we just accept that the weight you've been trying to lose for 5 years might actually just be a part of what you look like... and that if this magical day does come when you're acceptably thin you'll STILL regret not having any pictures of you with your kids from ages 5-10? Can we acknowledge that the insecurities we have in our heads will never be a part of how our children, husbands, and friends see us? Can we just please let our loved ones remember the YOU they love?
Your children want pictures with their mom.
Your husband wants pictures with his beautiful wife.
Your mom and dad want pictures of the happy, successful, amazing woman they raised (OK, and more pictures of the grandkids while you're at it).
And if you're thinking that high school friend on Facebook will say to herself ("wow she has gained weight") then... news flash you DID. You gained weight. Shed a tear. Read a book. Drink a sweet tea. Watch Oprah. Whatever it takes. Accept this reality... YOU GAINED WEIGHT. The truth is you've gained a lot of other things too (a career, a family, some kids, a house, a love for travel, the ability to coordinate your separates...) and that girl from high school is going to spend a lot more time hating on those things then she ever will on your double chin.
So you're feeling too fat to be photographed? OK... but you're the only one who notices. The rest of us are too caught up in loving you.
Teresa is a photographer and blogger. Her work can be found at myfriendteresablog.com.
The original article is at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/teresa-s-porter/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed_b_4351360.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
Listen. I hear you. You're a few pounds heavier than you like (or a 100 lbs heavier than you like). I completely understand how you feel. I get that same blah feeling about myself when I think about booking new head shots or long overdue pictures of me and Justin. Precious, I even picked a career that has me permanently behind the camera rather than in front of it. Seeing myself in pictures actually produces the faintest sick feeling in my stomach. Isn't it amazing we can see the beauty in our best friends, sisters, mothers, and aunts without the slightest thought to their flaws... but can obsess for hours on our own imperfections? We fixate on our flaws to the point we shirk at any documentation that our round faces and curvy bodies ever walked the earth. No pictures to show how we LOVE, how we laugh, how we are treasured by our families. How is it possible that a double chin can overpower the beauty of a mother cuddling her child? How does arm fat distract from the perfect shot of a spontaneous hug? I swear y'all... how is it that we can put more value on a TUMMY ROLL than the captivating way you throw yourself into a roar of laughter during a shoot?
In our warped minds pictures become frozen mirrors that we can stare at as we pick apart our features over and over again.
I know girl. I know.
My personal duck-and-cover (or signature "make a funny face") approach to having pictures of myself changed completely when I had a serious car accident last year (and started over). In the flash of a second (or a flash of the text message the young woman was reading) my entire life changed. I nearly left this earth with no physical evidence of the goofy, wide open and loud love I have for my life, my husband, my family and friends. I haven't had professional pictures done since our wedding in 2006... always waiting for this elusive moment where I would be thin enough (pretty enough) to have such a permanent record of me. Because, you know, HEAVEN FORBID there be any proof that I look the way I actually look.
So here is the harsh truth y'all. Listen good. Our vanity is no longer enough of a reason to avoid the camera. Life doesn't wait until you "get thin" enough to capture it. Life is happening... it is happening right now and the only moment we are guaranteed is the one we are living. I shudder at the thought of leaving behind no pictures of my life with ME in it. My mom says of the accident she is "just glad that we're still a whole family." My gift to her this Christmas was a family portrait showing just that, nine months post-accident... a whole family.
Do you know what my mom sees when she looks at this picture? Her beautiful family all together.
Do you know what my husband sees? The family he gained the moment he met me (and how much he looks like my dad...)
Do you know what my dad sees? The happy family he has worked for every day of his life.
Do you know what my brother sees? That he got away with wearing shorts...
Shocker: No one is looking at how fat I look.
Can we agree to put the value of family over the value of fat? Can we just accept that the weight you've been trying to lose for 5 years might actually just be a part of what you look like... and that if this magical day does come when you're acceptably thin you'll STILL regret not having any pictures of you with your kids from ages 5-10? Can we acknowledge that the insecurities we have in our heads will never be a part of how our children, husbands, and friends see us? Can we just please let our loved ones remember the YOU they love?
Your children want pictures with their mom.
Your husband wants pictures with his beautiful wife.
Your mom and dad want pictures of the happy, successful, amazing woman they raised (OK, and more pictures of the grandkids while you're at it).
And if you're thinking that high school friend on Facebook will say to herself ("wow she has gained weight") then... news flash you DID. You gained weight. Shed a tear. Read a book. Drink a sweet tea. Watch Oprah. Whatever it takes. Accept this reality... YOU GAINED WEIGHT. The truth is you've gained a lot of other things too (a career, a family, some kids, a house, a love for travel, the ability to coordinate your separates...) and that girl from high school is going to spend a lot more time hating on those things then she ever will on your double chin.
So you're feeling too fat to be photographed? OK... but you're the only one who notices. The rest of us are too caught up in loving you.
Teresa is a photographer and blogger. Her work can be found at myfriendteresablog.com.
The original article is at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/teresa-s-porter/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed_b_4351360.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
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Replies
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Simply beautiful. This is so true... I think about what people think entirely too much when it doesn't even matter. Thanks for sharing0
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I love this. I have put off getting family portraits done until I lose weight and it is just stupid.0
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Bump, people. Need to read this0
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Bump, people. Need to read this
People do need to read this. But apparently I don't know how to get it to the top of the most "read" list.0 -
bump. I've read this before, and it has an excellent message to share.0
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This is awesome. Thanks so much for sharing :happy:0
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That was so beautiful thanks I think we all need to read this and by people posting on it ,i twill get it to the top
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I've read this before and it is so true. Love it and thanks for sharing it!0
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Thank you so much for sharing that.
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Thank you for sharing... this is so true.0
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:flowerforyou: Thank you for sharing, Im going to pass this on to friends and family0
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Wow, this was a great read!! Thanks for sharing!!!0
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Thanks for posting...I have read this before too but it was wonderful to read again.0
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wow that is amazing thanks for posting op0
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tl;dr
Decent wide angle lens should sort it though.0 -
Thank you for posting this. I avoid being photographed all the time. I never saw it this way. Maybe, just maybe, I will give it a try.0
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This is so true and really reach home for me. I refuse to take pictures by myself or with family, always saying "wait until I lose 50lbs" and when I look back at family gatherings I see everyone else but me.
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I do agree with this. I do. But -
When I look at a picture of myself now it's a reminder of how dissatisfied I am with how I look simply because I KNOW I can do better for myself, and want be better. And have been better, only measured by the expectations I have for myself. Example -
I had pics taken of me when I was 200+ lb (and at 5'4", that's a bit of weight on my frame). At the time when I got those pictures back, despite my weight, overall I was in a very confident place. So when I looked at those pictures I didn't see an overweight woman as much as I saw me on the beaches of Jamaica with my daughter and Fiance. I remember my mom seeing them and commenting on how much weight I'd gained, but I didn't see a fat person when I looked at those pictures - I simply saw ME.
Then I hit a low where I started feeling that I wasn't at my best physically - I continued to gain weight and felt dissatisfied with myself - not because I was a gross, disgusting person by any means - just that I was letting myself down in continuing to gain weight, lose energy and start getting rather sluggish and frumpy - that wasn't how I wanted to feel so I started avoiding the camera as to not have to look at myself, validating what I felt internally already.
Then I started to lose weight - and again, my own morale started to rise, so therefore I was fine with pictures from every stage of my weight loss - 200 lb, 160, lb, etc - I embraced it all because it was ME, but a ME that was working on bettering myself not for my loved ones, or society - for ME. My confidence was up and I didn't define myself by that picture because I felt good about me.
Then, of course, I started gaining again and didn't go out of my way to be photographed, but when I came across a candid shot my daughter took I felt the disgust creep in again, so, I've come (back) here to get the ME back that I like and want to see - the determined, ambitious and self-improving me.
I lost my mother in the mid 00's and I have such few pictures of her (and/or of her and I), all because she too "hated" her picture taken - I wish I had those pictures so no matter what if a photo op presents itself with and/or for my daughter I make sure to go with it no matter how I feel - for her. I just choose to not look at it, but I know she'll appreciate it now and in the future. And I know, someday, I will too. 0 -
This is great. I was just talking to my friend this morning about how "awful" I looked in a family picture from Christmas. The photo was the only photo we have taken in years with my husbands great parents, aunts and uncles...it's an amazing picture I should cherish...not critque cuz of my tummy roll.
Thank you!0 -
Great message, and great reminder to people like me who run away from the cameras.0
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