my friend and her eating disorder

Why can't you tell her? Maybe ya'll can help eachother be healthy through proper tracking and digestion of food.

But your calorie counting and watcing what you eat is healthy, hers is not. I know its very difficult, but if she sees that your way is the healthy way it can't be a bad thing. Good luck, I do not envy you your position x

This post is so sad, I'm so sorry. I suppose it's hard to appreciate how much you're hurting those around you when you're being so badly ravaged by an eating disorder, and if she could understand how much she was hurting you, you could argue she may not have become so ill in the first place. I guess all you can do is give her plenty of care and attention, show her you love her and try not to judge. Then she'll know she can go to you if she needs you.
It must be so difficult to stick with a diet when you're watching something so awful - I know when my grandmother came to visit recently (she's really badly anorexic too) all I wanted to do was eat so I could eat for both of us, but while she watched me I just felt gross. I guess all you can do is try your best to separate your eating issues from hers, manage your MFP diary when you're outside of her hospital room, even if it means excusing yourself to go to the bathroom or something, and then just focussing on her when you're with her.

I can't imagine how hard it must be to watch your friend hurt herself like that and be suffering so badly. I wish her better and massive good luck with your weightloss - I'm so impressed you're staying on track with all this going on! :flowerforyou:

A truly awful situation, I too think that your interdependence and both your attitudes to food have gotta be unentwined - love her, love yourself and get you both some help.

Good luck to you and your friend, I do think there is hope but it is gonna take a lot of work - I dont think sneakily recording your developing obsession with mfp (one that I share) outside the hopsital room is any different to her sneakily purging after a meal - out of sight is not out of mind.

Our relationships with food are individual, personal and complex when it becomes a folie a deux - it is not doubly difficult it is 10 times more difficult IMHO, think clearly get an outside professional perspective to move you both on xxx really good luck

Hi, first of all, I wish all the best to your friend. It's so sad when weight and food become an obsession. I had some trouble throughout my highschool years where I would hide food in a bag that I'd not eaten so my parents would think I had. I lost a lot of weight and got referred to see a specialist via the hospital - but I was lucky, because although I acknowledge I had an obsession, I wouldn't say I was anorexic, but I was certainly on my way to being. I think what helped me was when I left my high school and started somewhere away from all my bullies and made new friends who accepted me as I was and gradually I put weight back on.

I think it's important to find out what's causing the anorexia with your friend. If it's the food that's the problem, then she needs to realise that food isn't dirty if you eat the right sorts. But if it's the weight, then you need to figure out why and when it became an issue.

As for you, I totally understand where you're coming from too. I am an emotional eater and I think it depends what's upsetting me as to whether I binge on rubbish or just don't eat. Unfortunately, I put on quite a bit of weight after a really tough loss and although I'm doing well losing it, I appreciate how hard it is. The reason I like MFP is because it really does help monitor calories.

I actually agree with what others have said tho, and I genuinely do think that you can help each other by opening up and discussing your obsessions and helping each other understand. It sounds like neither of you are happy as you are. She may not realise how bad you feel about your weight, and actually, having an anorexic friend probably (in the nicest way possible) isn't helping you feel good either. You prob feel even fatter than you are. I say this because in my late teens / early twenties, I thought I was fat. I had a friend who everyone seemed to fancy and all of our group thought she had this perfect figure - but looking back, I wasn't at all, and actually, she had a bit of a problem too where she barely ate anything. We all compared ourselves though and therefore, without realising, it was almost like we were in competition with each other to look better - and by look better, in our heads at the time, we thought that meant to be slimmer!!!!! It's a sad fact.

I also think you seem to feel guily about your friend. However, the fact is, if she was gonna vomit, she'd do it regardless of if you were there or not.

I think once an obsession starts, unless it's kcked in the bud early on, it's extremely hard to get out of.

I used to weigh myself every day, to the point that if I'd not lost anything I wouldn't eat for 2 days. If I did eat something, I felt guilty and then wouldn't eat for a further 2 days. It's because of my younger obsession that it made it so difficult for me to weigh myself in adult life because I have this fear that I'll get hooked like before. I was gutted when I finally dd weigh myself and I'm trying to kep it at a minimum, but I'd be lying if I said lately that I wasn't having that urge to hop on. It's always gonna be a battle - no matter which side of healthy weight you are.

Good luck to you both. You're clearly a good friend who cares a lot for her to be at her bedside x