How are YOU setting yourself up to fail?

Let's face it, it's New Years. Time to begin those three-week "attempts" at weight loss that don't work. :drinker:

We've all seen it. The person who logs hours and hours and hours on the treadmill/Bowflex/stair climber/elliptical/Curves/hula hoop/whatever, and "can't understand" why they didn't drop two dress sizes in a week. The person who "eats healthy/clean" and "can't understand" why they didn't drop the weight like a cheating boyfriend. The person who says they're totally counting calories, like for realz, but "can't understand" why the pounds aren't coming off.

Well, I'll tell you why it isn't working, and save you some time. It's actually all about calories. But you knew that already, didn't you?

But yes, it's true. All that Zumba or Poomba or Roomba or whatever won't make you lose weight. The hours of strenuous and exhausting exercise that you hate and plan to stop doing immediately after reaching your goal weight won't make you lose weight. "Counting calories" in your head won't make you lose weight. And eating "healthy" doesn't mean a thing when it comes to weight loss, because our weight regulating systems aren't really connoisseurs of healthy foods, they're operating mainly on the amount of food we're eating. Our tummies are gurgling cauldrons of hydrochloric acid, don't forget.

So yeah, if you actually do want to lose weight (rather than just make a three-week show of trying to lose weight so you can tell your friends that you "tried"), you'll have to count calories FOR REAL. Exercise if you want (I hear it has benefits of some kind), but don't think that exercise is the key to losing weight. It isn't. It's just one way of contributing to a calorie deficit (oh, and health benefits blahblahblah). But the calorie deficit is the magic bullet. And that means counting calories accurately—all foods, no exceptions, all caloric beverages, no exceptions. Yes, the calories in lettuce have to be counted, there are no "free foods". Yes the calories in orange juice count, beverages don't magically get an exemption just because they're liquids. And yes, you really have to do it every single day. You want to have a "cheat day"? Knock yourself out. Just know that your calorie deficit for the week is affected by these indulgences. Sometimes it's worth it to give yourself a little treat, but honestly, sometimes it isn't. And remember, the most sure-fire way to burn calories is to keep them out of your mouth in the first place. You should be eating the appropriate number of calories for weight loss, no more, no less. If you're dropping weight too quickly, you need to eat more, if you're not losing or losing too slowly, you need to eat less. It really is that simple. And yes, it can feel like deprivation, especially if you're used to overeating. But if you're smart with your food choices and you get enough protein, fat, and fiber, you shouldn't be hungry all that often. And if you keep an eye toward having a sufficient physical volume of food, you should be psychologically satisfied with the amount of food you're eating.

Of course if you really just want to make a big show of trying to lose weight, so you can fail and blame it on a "slow metabolism" or something, just do whatever it is you were going to do. But don't think you're fooling anyone. :huh:
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Replies

  • jmp463
    jmp463 Posts: 266 Member
    Well said!!!
  • Jkn921
    Jkn921 Posts: 309 Member
    This is said in a patronising way but is true, however I vouch for exercise as a big factor to keeping the weight along with becoming fitter so shouldn't be ignored so lightly
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
    I'm not here to mollycoddle people, or hadn't you noticed? :huh: Sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes, it can set you free. Usually it's both. :bigsmile:
  • Jkn921
    Jkn921 Posts: 309 Member
    Nobody's asked you to do anything.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
    ...snip...the unvarnished truth that will set you free...

    Clap - clap - clap.

    Early contender for Post of the Year.
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
    Nobody's asked you to do anything.

    Good thing I don't need an invitation or permission, don't you think? :smokin:
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
    Preach!

    other_preach_gif.gif
  • jmp463
    jmp463 Posts: 266 Member
    This is said in a patronising way but is true, however I vouch for exercise as a big factor to keeping the weight along with becoming fitter so shouldn't be ignored so lightly

    I agree with you on exercise it has helped me a lot - not so much to lose the weight but to give me the shape I want out of my body.

    I think the OP's point (which I think was done not so much to be patronizing but more in a witty and dry sense of humor way) is that you have a lot of people on here who will find and look for every reason under the sun as to why they are not losing weight - except for the most basic and obvious -- they eat too much.

    I lost 40lbs this year - all of which was done after I decided to eat less.
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I'm not here to mollycoddle people, or hadn't you noticed? :huh: Sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes, it can set you free. Usually it's both. :bigsmile:

    Say what, are you doing it the right way then?

    I can't believe that for a minute, look at you, your skin looks like plastic and that must be a wig!!




















    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
    I'm not here to mollycoddle people, or hadn't you noticed? :huh: Sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes, it can set you free. Usually it's both. :bigsmile:

    Say what, are you doing it the right way then?

    I can't believe that for a minute, look at you, your skin looks like plastic and that must be a wig!!


















    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    I do have amazing skin, don't I? And nope, that's not a wig, it's all firmly rooted from the factory. Ain't I a doll? :bigsmile:
  • Guinivere
    Guinivere Posts: 357 Member
    There is valuable insight in the OP's post - shame most readers won't receive her message cos they will be too upset to hear it.

    It's not weak to sugar coat a strong message, the delivery mechanism is just as important as the message, and to reach a broad spectrum of nervous and shy noobs which I think your post was aimed at, a gentler touch might have landed home and been digested (forgive the pun) more easily.

    Motivation is a fickle mistress and whilst some will appreciate the "stick" approach, I think the "carrot" team will wince and stop reading after paragraph 2.

    Being kind and gentle isn't mollycoddling, it's demonstrating empathy and understanding.....
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I'm not here to mollycoddle people, or hadn't you noticed? :huh: Sometimes the truth hurts, and sometimes, it can set you free. Usually it's both. :bigsmile:

    Say what, are you doing it the right way then?

    I can't believe that for a minute, look at you, your skin looks like plastic and that must be a wig!!


















    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    I do have amazing skin, don't I? And nope, that's not a wig, it's all firmly rooted from the factory. Ain't I a doll? :bigsmile:

    I'm just jealous :tongue:
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
    There is valuable insight in the OP's post - shame most readers won't receive her message cos they will be too upset to hear it.

    It's not weak to sugar coat a strong message, the delivery mechanism is just as important as the message, and to reach a broad spectrum of nervous and shy noobs which I think your post was aimed at, a gentler touch might have landed home and been digested (forgive the pun) more easily.

    Motivation is a fickle mistress and whilst some will appreciate the "stick" approach, I think the "carrot" team will wince and stop reading after paragraph 2.

    Being kind and gentle isn't mollycoddling, it's demonstrating empathy and understanding.....

    Well, there's plenty of other people to give them the sugar, I'm best at giving the spice. :devil:

    And really, if anyone is chased away from losing weight because of what I posted, then they probably would have been chased away by the first pretext that presented itself. No guts, no glory. :tongue:
  • judyde
    judyde Posts: 401 Member
    Thanks for the tough love, friend! You're a doll, literally. :-)
  • oookaay then...:noway:
  • MysteriousMerlin
    MysteriousMerlin Posts: 2,270 Member
    Roomba?! :laugh: I guess trying to balance on it while it's moving could work your core :drinker:
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    There is valuable insight in the OP's post - shame most readers won't receive her message cos they will be too upset to hear it.

    It's not weak to sugar coat a strong message, the delivery mechanism is just as important as the message, and to reach a broad spectrum of nervous and shy noobs which I think your post was aimed at, a gentler touch might have landed home and been digested (forgive the pun) more easily.

    Motivation is a fickle mistress and whilst some will appreciate the "stick" approach, I think the "carrot" team will wince and stop reading after paragraph 2.

    Being kind and gentle isn't mollycoddling, it's demonstrating empathy and understanding.....

    Well, there's plenty of other people to give them the sugar, I'm best at giving the spice. :devil:

    And really, if anyone is chased away from losing weight because of what I posted, then they probably would have been chased away by the first pretext that presented itself. No guts, no glory. :tongue:

    This is why I'm friends with you. :drinker:
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
    I concur.
  • cingle87
    cingle87 Posts: 717 Member
    I think more people need to read this
  • gemf57
    gemf57 Posts: 1 Member
    I really like this post. Its the COLD HARD FACTS. Your 100% right, its like everyone cut the bull****, you arent loosing weight because you're not being accurate with your counting or you are consuming too many calories on a daily/weekly basis!

    Good work - well said!
  • rb16fitness
    rb16fitness Posts: 236 Member
    Well said ★. Everyone ate enough sugar over the holidays so no coating required. You're gonna put the diet in industry out of business with this common sense zero cost approach .

    Still, hope you're flame retardant, the heavy lifting clean eating brigade will soon be on the war path...
  • mmapags
    mmapags Posts: 8,934 Member
    There is valuable insight in the OP's post - shame most readers won't receive her message cos they will be too upset to hear it.

    It's not weak to sugar coat a strong message, the delivery mechanism is just as important as the message, and to reach a broad spectrum of nervous and shy noobs which I think your post was aimed at, a gentler touch might have landed home and been digested (forgive the pun) more easily.

    Motivation is a fickle mistress and whilst some will appreciate the "stick" approach, I think the "carrot" team will wince and stop reading after paragraph 2.

    Being kind and gentle isn't mollycoddling, it's demonstrating empathy and understanding.....
    The OP is not responsible for others motivation. Only for her own ideas and thoughts. If people will be put off by her directness, their resolve to improve their health wasn't very strong or internalized to begin with.

    I think part of what is wrong with modern society is the sense of entitlement to "gentle" treatment to the point of lack of honesty. I'll take straight talk any day. I've grown more in my lifetime from honest feedback, whether I liked hearing it or not.
  • lindustum
    lindustum Posts: 212 Member
    Still, hope you're flame retardant, the heavy lifting clean eating brigade will soon be on the war path...

    Since when is heavy lifting = clean eating, or the same brigade respectively?
  • sunshinesquared
    sunshinesquared Posts: 2,733 Member
    Love Love Love this and so needed to hear the "gentle" reminder!!!! Thank you!!! :bigsmile:
  • CactusF1ower
    CactusF1ower Posts: 174 Member
    Roomba?! :laugh: I guess trying to balance on it while it's moving could work your core :drinker:

    My day has started with uncontrollable laughter thanks to this post :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
    I agree with everything said here except the point about exercise. The OP's point about weight lose is correct but only when weight loss is the main point and not overall health and fitness. A person that loses weight without some form of resistance training will only end up a smaller fat person. All though most people that first join here have little information or care as to body fat percentage the fact is that losing weight is not most people’s desired outcome. (Generally speaking) They want to be fit they just put too much emphasis on the scale and too little on measurements and body fat percentage.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    While I 100% agree that counting calories is key to weight loss and maintenance for myself, once you hit your goal weight it is just the foundation for adding the right body toning / exercise beyond walking to build strength.

    I will say that for some people, those three week courses are the kick off point to get on the healthy lifestyle wagon. However, I think commiting to a program to meet milestones and goals vs a time limit worked for me.

    I count calories so I won't gain back the weight, I walk to make sure I sleep at night, I drink water for brain power and smoother skin, and I do yoga/barre3 to tone my body and build stronger muscles and gain strength/balance.

    PS. I am all about hearing the truth, and don't really care how the message is delivered.
  • I loved the OP's post and thought it was a great motivational starter to the new year....then I read the comments below and was like....huh??? I focused on the message and not the delivery, and quite frankly, I didn't see anything off with the delivery. In fact, it was similar "frank talks" from my doctor/dietician that got me motivated in 2012 to work hard to shed 55+lbs in that year....and before that I was guilty of making excuses that various diets, exercise, etc. didn't work. Gratefully my journey continues satisfactorily because I have started to count calories (I do engage exercise), and because of motivational posts such as the OP's.

    Thanks OP for your beginning-of-year contribution...well said!
  • twixlepennie
    twixlepennie Posts: 1,074 Member
    I agree with everything said here except the point about exercise. The OP's point about weight lose is correct but only when weight loss is the main point and not overall health and fitness. A person that loses weight without some form of resistance training will only end up a smaller fat person. All though most people that first join here have little information or care as to body fat percentage the fact is that losing weight is not most people’s desired outcome. (Generally speaking) They want to be fit they just put too much emphasis on the scale and too little on measurements and body fat percentage.

    When I started I had absolutely NO idea what I was doing-it was my first try at losing weight. But, I had doctor's orders to lose weight or be a diabetic, so I jumped in blindly and figured it out as I went along. I had never exercised in my life (no sports as a kid etc-nothing!), and trying to figure out how to lose the weight was overwhelming enough on it's own, without adding exercise in. So I didn't. I lost over 50lbs and didn't do one minute of exercise in the process. Doing this did not make me a smaller fat person.

    My profile picture was taken a few weeks ago, several months after I've transitioned into maintenance. No resistance training at that point- just some walking and a bit of running (total of about 4 miles of the two things combined a week. Started doing this after I transitioned into maintenance, to give me new goals to work towards). My bf% is currently somewhere in the 18-19% range. I am not 'skinny fat'. Losing the weight made me healthy, not exercise.

    OP-brilliant post and I agree 100% :smile:
  • heatherAnnXOX
    heatherAnnXOX Posts: 56 Member
    totally needed to read this post this morning. thank you thank you.