How are YOU setting yourself up to fail?

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  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    Your post speaks more about you than the people you are trying to belittle. Congrats.

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  • OfficiallySexyVal
    OfficiallySexyVal Posts: 492 Member
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    You are most definitely right in your post, and I suppose tough love is what people need now in days. However coming from someone who has been morbidly obese at one point in her life I almost feel as if your post may discourage people.

    It took me over 15 years of being severly over weight and the birth of my son to finally realize I needed a change but my problem wasn't that I was keeping my self fat. I had a pos lazy boyfriend that kept me fat (force fed me/ made me stay at home) so I wouldn't leave him and so that I would continue to take care of him instead of the other way around.

    I finally realized I was better than that, yes I wanted to be loved but more than that I wanted to love myself. So I left him and made the change in my life, so far I have lost 105lbs and have only 50lbs more to go which I hope to be able to achieve this year!

    I guess my point is, as outsiders we don't know what is going on in other peoples lives that may be hindering them in some way. I know it is frustrating to see these New Year Resoulutioners decide they want to lose weight so they over populate our gyms and mess up our routines for a month or two but when it comes down to it, whether they stick it out or not. At least they can go into life with the mindset of they tried. Having been in that position before myself I feel that we need to be sensitive to other people sometimes.
  • janjanbird
    janjanbird Posts: 2 Member
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    Like a bucket of cold water to wake me up. Thanks, I needed that (really)! I never lose wait cuz I exercise like crazy and eat well until 4pm, then it all comes undone. The truth will set you/me free....
  • twixlepennie
    twixlepennie Posts: 1,074 Member
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    I agree with everything said here except the point about exercise. The OP's point about weight lose is correct but only when weight loss is the main point and not overall health and fitness. A person that loses weight without some form of resistance training will only end up a smaller fat person. All though most people that first join here have little information or care as to body fat percentage the fact is that losing weight is not most people’s desired outcome. (Generally speaking) They want to be fit they just put too much emphasis on the scale and too little on measurements and body fat percentage.

    When I started I had absolutely NO idea what I was doing-it was my first try at losing weight. But, I had doctor's orders to lose weight or be a diabetic, so I jumped in blindly and figured it out as I went along. I had never exercised in my life (no sports as a kid etc-nothing!), and trying to figure out how to lose the weight was overwhelming enough on it's own, without adding exercise in. So I didn't. I lost over 50lbs and didn't do one minute of exercise in the process. Doing this did not make me a smaller fat person.

    My profile picture was taken a few weeks ago, several months after I've transitioned into maintenance. No resistance training at that point- just some walking and a bit of running (total of about 4 miles of the two things combined a week. Started doing this after I transitioned into maintenance, to give me new goals to work towards). My bf% is currently somewhere in the 18-19% range. I am not 'skinny fat'. Losing the weight made me healthy, not exercise.

    OP-brilliant post and I agree 100% :smile:


    Congrats but continue to add weight training and then feel the results.

    I did start one of Mark Lauren's strength training programs about six weeks ago (after profile pictures were taken). So far I don't feel any different, though I see a difference in my arms. But, I don't have wonder woman strength or anything, so it's more aesthetics than anything else :smile:
  • lthames0810
    lthames0810 Posts: 722 Member
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    Love the post. Those are the unvarnished facts. The arguments are already entertaining. The cry babies, not so much.

    I continue to be amazed at how much diet and nutrition is like religion when it comes to bitter debates. Each method out there has it's evangelists that believe only they have the real truth and try to convert the heathens with their message. To believe other than they do is heresy.

    I guess I am a diet atheist.

    Yes, excercise is good for you, but it's not critical for weight loss. Vegetables are good for you too, but they also are not critical for weight loss. If you don't like one or the other you won't go to hell if you avoid them.
  • juliemouse83
    juliemouse83 Posts: 6,663 Member
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    This was a great read, OP... :smile: I don't think it was patronizing or discouraging at all. It was pretty clear cut and honest, and made me chuckle a couple of times, as well. I have friends in a "diet & exercise" group that probably need to read this.

    Thank you for putting this out there.
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
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    Your post speaks more about you than the people you are trying to belittle. Congrats.

    56d.gif

    That I'm a harpy? Not news. :drinker:
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,668 Member
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    When it comes to weight loss, lots of people don't like the real facts. Tough love is how I work with all my clients and that's why they get the results they are paying for.
    Let me also mention that you work with what you work with. Not everyone is going to be free off some health issues going into this and could use that as an excuse. Be better than that. Using the issue as the reason why your doing it is a better mind set and believe me correct ATTITUDE is what most success stories have over those that attempt weight loss and fail.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
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    You are most definitely right in your post, and I suppose tough love is what people need now in days. However coming from someone who has been morbidly obese at one point in her life I almost feel as if your post may discourage people.

    It took me over 15 years of being severly over weight and the birth of my son to finally realize I needed a change but my problem wasn't that I was keeping my self fat. I had a pos lazy boyfriend that kept me fat (force fed me/ made me stay at home) so I wouldn't leave him and so that I would continue to take care of him instead of the other way around.

    I finally realized I was better than that, yes I wanted to be loved but more than that I wanted to love myself. So I left him and made the change in my life, so far I have lost 105lbs and have only 50lbs more to go which I hope to be able to achieve this year!

    I guess my point is, as outsiders we don't know what is going on in other peoples lives that may be hindering them in some way. I know it is frustrating to see these New Year Resoulutioners decide they want to lose weight so they over populate our gyms and mess up our routines for a month or two but when it comes down to it, whether they stick it out or not. At least they can go into life with the mindset of they tried. Having been in that position before myself I feel that we need to be sensitive to other people sometimes.

    I take a couple of issues with what you're saying. Not to put too fine a point on it, you can't really blame anyone else for "making" you fat. No one held a gun to your head (I assume). You chose to ALLOW that boyfriend to "force feed" you. I've had the controlling boyfriend too. The same scenario, without the food emphasis, he basically wanted to keep me all to himself. Well, just imagine how that goes over with my personality, or what you know of it. Yeah, that dude was kicked to the curb after a while. :devil:

    The bottom line is we're not victims, unless of course we actually ARE victims. If that doesn't make sense, then think about it. Having someone bring you a plate of mac and cheese isn't the same as being chained in a basement. Whatever your mental state or psychological response to people who try to thwart your goals, ultimately you have to take responsibility for your own half of the equation, and stop allowing people to take away your power over your own life. It actually sounds like you DID that, to be honest, but maybe you don't realize that you did. So congratulations on that, and I hope you realize that you're a lot stronger than you thought you were.

    And having been in a similar place as you (controlling boyfriend), I think less "sensitivity" and hand-wringing is needed, that just sets up a circle of misery from what I've seen. People don't need to commiserate, they need to CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR. And indulging in victim-oriented thoughts doesn't seem like a helpful mindset to me.
  • kyuubi08
    kyuubi08 Posts: 13 Member
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    I tend to give into cravings. im trying to be on a keto diet, but feel really restricted and miss alot of the food.
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
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    I tend to give into cravings. im trying to be on a keto diet, but feel really restricted and miss alot of the food.

    So why are you on a keto diet? Is the goal to lose weight? Because you can do that without keto, you know.
  • sweetpea03b
    sweetpea03b Posts: 1,124 Member
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    Couldn't have said it better myself.
  • sweetpea03b
    sweetpea03b Posts: 1,124 Member
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    I agree with everything said here except the point about exercise. The OP's point about weight lose is correct but only when weight loss is the main point and not overall health and fitness. A person that loses weight without some form of resistance training will only end up a smaller fat person. All though most people that first join here have little information or care as to body fat percentage the fact is that losing weight is not most people’s desired outcome. (Generally speaking) They want to be fit they just put too much emphasis on the scale and too little on measurements and body fat percentage.

    I think the point the OP is trying to make is that MOST (newbies especially) people only consider cardio as some form of exercise. Notice, OP didn't mention weight training (didn't you get the zoomba, elliptical, etc reference)? The general thought of losing weight is: eat nothing, do cardio. The problem is... some of them lose a little bit of weight so they think they're doing it the right way. But... then they come back a few years later after they've gained it all back (did you notice that I joined MFP in 2008? That's because I used to be one of them)
  • kyuubi08
    kyuubi08 Posts: 13 Member
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    Because before finals, I noticed a big change in my habits, my energy levels, and weight loss. With the holidays and finals, its been difficult getting back on track.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    While I haven't always agreed with your tone and some of your points, I have always concurred with your basic premise of calories in vs out and that logging needs to be as accurate and consistent as possible. I do like and appreciate this post, nicely done siansonea.
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
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    Because before finals, I noticed a big change in my habits, my energy levels, and weight loss. With the holidays and finals, its been difficult getting back on track.

    So why do you think keto is the way to address these issues? Honestly, keto sounds like a much harder way to lose weight than good old-fashioned calorie restriction. You're basically doing calorie restriction with keto anyway, it's just got this candy coating of A Diet Plan around it. That's like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, and all the others, they're just Calorie Restriction for Dummies. Ketosis is a real thing and it does cause weight loss, but not any faster than calorie restriction, and it can certainly be more unpleasant if you crave foods that aren't on the menu. Keto is for people who crave those foods anyway. I came to MFP last September to lose 17 pounds. I lost 18 pounds, and I've managed to keep it off through the holidays. I didn't deprive myself of the foods I loved before, I just made a few smart substitutions to knock out hidden calories, and made sure that I always had enough food volume to feel psychologically "full". And I watched that calorie limit like a hawk. That's all I did. No exercise, no "clean eating", no keto. I ate McDonald's every morning, but I got the 250-calorie Egg White Delight McMuffin rather than diabetes-in-a-bag McGriddles or whatever. I still felt like I had a decent-sized breakfast, and it's yummy. So my question is, if the GOAL is to lose weight, why introduce more deprivation and suffering than you absolutely have to?
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
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    While I haven't always agreed with your tone and some of your points, I have always concurred with your basic premise of calories in vs out and that logging needs to be as accurate and consistent as possible. I do like and appreciate this post, nicely done siansonea.

    Thanks. I know I'm a holy terror sometimes. :flowerforyou:
  • Cortelli
    Cortelli Posts: 1,369 Member
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    [. . .]

    I've had the controlling boyfriend too. The same scenario, without the food emphasis, he basically wanted to keep me all to himself.

    [. . .]

    So a masochist, then? Don Quixote tilting at windmills? :wink:

    Nice post!
  • Siansonea
    Siansonea Posts: 917 Member
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    [. . .]

    I've had the controlling boyfriend too. The same scenario, without the food emphasis, he basically wanted to keep me all to himself.

    [. . .]

    So a masochist, then? Don Quixote tilting at windmills? :wink:

    Nice post!

    Nope. Did you miss the "kicked to the curb" part? Thing is, this type of guy doesn't shake your hand when you meet him and say "Hi, I'm a controlling a__h___, and I'd like to make your life miserable for the next couple of years, what do you say?" You only discover that he's a controlling a__h___ AFTER he thinks it's too difficult and bothersome for you to get away from him. That's how they operate. Of course, NOW I can spot those jerks a mile away, but when I was in my twenties? Not so much.
  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
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    Because before finals, I noticed a big change in my habits, my energy levels, and weight loss. With the holidays and finals, its been difficult getting back on track.

    So why do you think keto is the way to address these issues? Honestly, keto sounds like a much harder way to lose weight than good old-fashioned calorie restriction. You're basically doing calorie restriction with keto anyway, it's just got this candy coating of A Diet Plan around it. That's like Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutrisystem, and all the others, they're just Calorie Restriction for Dummies. Ketosis is a real thing and it does cause weight loss, but not any faster than calorie restriction, and it can certainly be more unpleasant if you crave foods that aren't on the menu. Keto is for people who crave those foods anyway. I came to MFP last September to lose 17 pounds. I lost 18 pounds, and I've managed to keep it off through the holidays. I didn't deprive myself of the foods I loved before, I just made a few smart substitutions to knock out hidden calories, and made sure that I always had enough food volume to feel psychologically "full". And I watched that calorie limit like a hawk. That's all I did. No exercise, no "clean eating", no keto. I ate McDonald's every morning, but I got the 250-calorie Egg White Delight McMuffin rather than diabetes-in-a-bag McGriddles or whatever. I still felt like I had a decent-sized breakfast, and it's yummy. So my question is, if the GOAL is to lose weight, why introduce more deprivation and suffering than you absolutely have to?

    I keep coming back to your thread to see what other fun things you've said. Diabetes-in-a-bag McGriddles just takes the cake! :laugh::drinker:

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