This is hard !

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  • CJ_Holmes
    CJ_Holmes Posts: 759 Member
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    Since you know you are having thoughts that are irrational, and feel out of control, I would strongly suggest you see a counselor. Consistent stress can have some pretty harsh effects on your moods and mental functioning, and it sounds like you're experiencing some of that.

    It's sad that you aren't able to enjoy your accomplishments and the body you have worked for. It's so easy to become unbalanced around weight and body image, because your self-esteem, goals, and sense of accomplishment can end up tied to your weight, exercise and food counts.

    I would guess a lot of us have experienced periods of obsession, hyper-control and fear related to our weight. When I find myself on that path, I ask myself "What am I NOT thinking about?" Usually there are other life stresses that I'm avoiding by focusing all my energy on diet and/or exercise.

    You can access counselors through school if you're a student, or many towns have free or low-cost services. Get some support so that you can enjoy the incredible gift of being fit, and young, and healthy.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    Since you know you are having thoughts that are irrational, and feel out of control, I would strongly suggest you see a counselor. Consistent stress can have some pretty harsh effects on your moods and mental functioning, and it sounds like you're experiencing some of that.

    It's sad that you aren't able to enjoy your accomplishments and the body you have worked for. It's so easy to become unbalanced around weight and body image, because your self-esteem, goals, and sense of accomplishment can end up tied to your weight, exercise and food counts.

    I would guess a lot of us have experienced periods of obsession, hyper-control and fear related to our weight. When I find myself on that path, I ask myself "What am I NOT thinking about?" Usually there are other life stresses that I'm avoiding by focusing all my energy on diet and/or exercise.

    You can access counselors through school if you're a student, or many towns have free or low-cost services. Get some support so that you can enjoy the incredible gift of being fit, and young, and healthy.

    What a sensible post!
  • kevin831
    kevin831 Posts: 12 Member
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    Hang in there. I've been doing the MFP for a while. I've had ups & downs, but I stay with it & it works!!! I feel so much better. That is my motivation. Christmas time is tough as their are so many tough choices. Your MFP buddies will keep you motivated to stay with it. So, go girl go!
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
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    The best book I have read on maintaining weight and keeping strong is "Ballet Beautiful"... If a professional ballet dancer can gear down to working out from home and eating right, so can I.

    I am gaining strength every day by doing the on line workouts on Barre 3. Even if my weight fluxes up a pound or two, my clothes fit and every thing is jiggling less and less.

    Keep going. Try new things. I also enjoy walking my 10000 steps a day. Get a fitbit or nike fuel band .

    I don't have time to go to the gym for an hour a day. But I do have time to continuously improve my health.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    If you are 5'2" and 105 and feel like you need to keep losing, that is not healthy. If you feel like you HAVE to exercise 6 days a week or else you've failed, that is not healthy. If you can't up your calories because every time you do you become terrified, that is not healthy.

    I'm not trying to sound harsh here, at all. I completely understand where these feelings are coming from and in fact, I think they are fairly common in people who have lost a fair amount of weight, especially using methods like calorie counting. This is actually the one problem I have with MFP: I believe that for many people, calorie counting can lead to an obsession that is very unhealthy, at least mentally, in the end. I'm not trying to scare you at all, but your entire first post sounded a lot like someone slipping into an eating disorder. I would urge you to seek counseling and sort out this mentality sooner rather than later.

    That being said, I think you've gotten some good advice on this thread so far. In the end it's just all about changing your mindset and adopting HEALTHY habits that will last you a lifetime. Eating a healthy amount of food and exercising moderately (especially strength training) will not cause you to gain fat again. It will, however, be a sustainable lifestyle that you can enjoy while still maintaining your current weight (which is a perfectly healthy weight for your height). At some point, you have to increase your calories. That's just the way it is. Maybe try upping them little by little? You will find what works for you, it just may take some time and patience. Think of your old lifestyle, when you were over 190 pounds. You probably ate a lot of unhealthy foods and barely exercised. It would take A LOT for you to gain back to that weight now. As long as you live your life in moderation, you will be fine. Eat healthy, but allow yourself a treat now and then. Exercise, but don't overdo it (and if you have an injury, please give yourself a break without feeling the slightest bit guilty!) You will find the balance and be able to maintain your weight.

    This. Nailed it.
  • MACnificence
    MACnificence Posts: 419 Member
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    Just want to say thanks to everyone for their input and advice

    As far as seeking professional conselling I just don't feel like I'm ready to take that step I almost feel like I wouldn't be able to tell someone in person how I feel like the words won't come out

    I want to start breaking the trends I have in place and hopefully once I start doing that and see that nothing drastic happens maybe ill be able to ease up on these tendencies I have

    My boyfriend confronted me last night and said his worried and would like me to actually gain some weight , he also told me my brother said it to him the last day about my weight so this was a wake up call , I was shocked to hear my brother is concerned that I'm going too far I honestly don't look at myself and see what they see I thought I looked fine

    Now gaining weight I don't think I'm ready for so ill work on maintaining for now , the only weight gain I would be ok with is muscle but of course that comes with a fear of fat gain but ill work on that one aswell

    Thanks everyone for your words - really hoping I get myself together this time
  • sendyb
    sendyb Posts: 4
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    You are right on all accounts....it is hard and you should be worried about the road you are on. STOP trying to control the scale. I have been where you are and it is not a good place. My advise is to step back and relax. If you gain a couple (as in 2 or 3) while you are tying to get it right, it's okay!! seriously....it's okay. Once you figure out the eating part your weight will level off and you will maintain it just fine. Seriously, stop looking at the scale to tell you if you are doing great. Grab that pair of pants that was too tight and see how they feel. Track your food....ALL OF IT and stick with it. Don't go back to your old foods as a reward for doing so well, Remember, this was a life change, not a diet. You stopped eating unhealthy because it WAS, so stick with the good stuff and remember that you WON'T go back to where you were. You got this!!!!

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