"I am Happier Heavier"
sweetpea03b
Posts: 1,123 Member
Take a look at this post a heavier woman wrote about her weightloss and how she decided she was happier being heavier because she was always in "anxiety" over food and exercise and how it consumed her life. What do you think?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-ohuiginn/i-am-happier-heavier_b_4413458.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rachel-ohuiginn/i-am-happier-heavier_b_4413458.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
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Replies
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I can see how she felt like it cosumed her life, that's how i was the first year sometimes it was more of a pain and burden. Now it's just my lifestyle & habbits & when I do eat whatever it doesnt get to me I don't even think about. I love the way i feel now0
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Quote from the article:
"I wanted to feel happy, but dieting wasn't making me feel happy."
That was her problem the entire time. She saw it as a diet. She didn't see it as a sustainable lifestyle change. She was giving her 100% just to lower the number on the scale. she wasn't making baby steps to new habits and a new life.0 -
I think it can feel like a burden in the beginning. It takes time to adjust to this new lifestyle. It's not gonna be easy but it will be worth it!!!0
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She was going balls to the wall, no wonder she was miserable. She was miserable because she was restricting her diet too much and probably doing exercise she hated.
It's amazing what happens when you learn moderation, eat at a reasonable deficit, and do physical activity you enjoy. I did WW. It equated to about 1000 cals/day. I'd be happier heavier too if that's what the rest of my life looked like.0 -
No matter what a person weighs, there's always a propensity to think about your body image.0
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"But as the scale dipped lower and the compliments on my weight-loss wore off, something else emerged: I felt exhausted, disappointed and still unhappy."
So once she was no longer praised for her weight loss it wasn't worth it to work anymore??
That was her issue, that it wasn't a magic pill and it was easier to not actually work on herself. Which if I may add it doesn't seem that she did. If you talk to anyone that has had any type of long term success they will all tell you they have made permanent changes to their lives. And most of the time it extends far beyond food and fitness.
I think that its great that the writer of the article has made some self acceptance. I mean really for her that's all that matters.0 -
While she makes some good points about being happy with herself - which is a healthy attitude - and I am not one to judge or criticize anyone's physique, it sounds like she did not find something she could stick with.
She dieted.
She did not change her life or create a program she could sustain endlessly.
So, of course dieting made her unhappy. So of course she is happier not dieting (heavier.)
I get that sometimes, it's tough to make time for fitness and healthy eating...until it becomes a habit.
It's wonderful that she is happy. But it would be great if she also loved herself enough to invest some of that time she is putting into her marriage, business, family and friends to finding an activity she loved and could do to be healthier and enjoy this life longer. She is worth it.
We all are.0 -
I think the following is what should be focused on :
"Some might believe that my story means I am anti-weight loss, but I am not. I'm anti-shame, guilt and fear as an avenue to weighing less in the hopes of being a better and healthier person for it. "
Before I was ever able to be successful in weight loss and keeping it off, I needed to be 100% happy with who I am. I am no where near goal, but I am getting closer every day, and I, for the first time am not consumed. I feel calm and I don't beat myself up about a bad day.0 -
Good for her for learning how to love herself. And, you know, it really isn't the size that matters *chuckle*. If she truly is happier where she is at then that's fantastic. I hope she is healthy and active and loving life, even if she isn't a size 6.0
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Some people are happier heavier. Some people are happier smaller. Some people like avocado, I think that crap is gross. Some women my height wanna be 110 pounds. I wanna be 135.
As it turns out we aren't all the same.
Novel concept.
Edit: Oh. Is this gonna be about lifestyle changes? I see. Whelp, back to my regularly scheduled diet then...0 -
I agree with her wanting to battle the nasty mentality people have about being over-weight, but if she is into the idea of holistic health, I think either her weight will even out eventually or she will see the health effects later and eat her words. She was "dieting" not making a lifestyle change. I hope she has found a healthy way to eat and live. I hope I can too.0
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Quote from the article:
"I wanted to feel happy, but dieting wasn't making me feel happy."
That was her problem the entire time. She saw it as a diet. She didn't see it as a sustainable lifestyle change. She was giving her 100% just to lower the number on the scale. she wasn't making baby steps to new habits and a new life.
Yep, this. Absolutely this.
Also, regardless of how much happier she supposedly is at a heavier weight, that doesn't mean she's healthy! I work for a cardiologist and if she could come into my office and pass a treadmill stress test then whatever, but realistically her cardiovascular health is at risk.0 -
Happier = Easier.0
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She may be truly happy, but like others have posted, she may have been looking at it the wrong way... so focused on a number and not taking small steps to be healthier for the long term of a healthy lifestyle.0
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I have not had but 2 people comment on my weight loss. And I know I am in a much smaller size, 3 sizes down. Some people either do not care or don't look at you as someone who needs to lose weight. I had to make a life style change. Not a diet. I do not care what others see. I know for me that my health is important.0
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Geez, she wrote an article about how she is happier with herself when she isn't worried about being skinny, and people are critical that she didn't worry in the correct manner? Our culture equates thin with happy and successful, and these comments to her article just underline how screwed up that is. She tried something, it didn't make her happy, she found a way to be happy, and you think she is wrong because she did not try the same thing that makes you happy? No wonder she gave up. The semantics of size and health are loaded with connotation but their meaning is not always consistent with usage. Who are you to say that if she had made a 'lifestyle change' she would have been happier than 'dieting?' or that the happiness she feels now is not good enough? She decided thin didn't make her happy. and the response is that thin=healthy and that's what she should want. All that does is prop up the same cultural pressure that caused her so much exhaustion and negative body image in the first place.0
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Happier = Easier.
^This^. Lots of people decide they feel better when they don't have to work hard. That's why people don't like to exercise. It's hard.0 -
“Isn't my quality of life worth more than my pant-size?"
I found this statement ironic. People that rationalize their lack of fitness always say: “I may be big, but at least they'll die happy.”
The more I read up on weight related illness...I'm convinced that death by obesity has to be one of the most miserable ways to live your life. She's 29 and probably doesn't know anyone in her immediate social circle that has had to deal major issues of obesity, yet. I know people who have to spend money to wear masks so they can sleep at night. Spend money on drugs to keep their insulin in check. Spend money on other drugs to keep other parts of their body working correctly. People who can't do some outings with their family because they can't physically participate in those outings. Never mind the outings they don’t do but could because they’re tired all time. Never mind the mood swings that come along from being tired all the time.
This is the path I saw myself heading down five years ago. I may have had less stress at meal times, but the rest of my life would have been miserable. I would not have been happy. So yes, Rachel, quality of life is more than about pants-size. It’s about a whole lot of others things. But being heavy will also degrade your quality of life.0 -
So much truth in what many people have already said.
No, we don't all have to be super-models, but 100 pounds overweight is not healthy for anyone in the long run.
Moderation is the key.
When this girl is 50, has Diabetes, arthritis, HBP, trashed joints, and all of the other side effects than can come along with a lifetime of obesity, she will regret not keeping the weight off.
If your happiness is tied to the scale, or if it is tied to a dozen Krispy Kremes, neither is a good way to go thru life.0 -
"I wanted to feel happy, but dieting wasn't making me feel happy. Isn't my quality of life worth more than my pant-size?"
That's the problem right there. I think too many people make the mistake of putting happiness and body size in the same box and thinking the two go hand in hand.
If your quality of life is at odds with your pant size, you're going to have issues no matter what you weigh.
I loved myself bigger, I love myself now, and I'll love myself when I reach my goal weight. I decided to lose weight in the first place because I loved myself and I wanted to feel better. Obviously I realized that losing weight would result in a smaller body, and I'm happier now than I was a year ago. But it has very little to do with the size of my body and much more to do with how my body feels and what it's become capable of.
Having a positive relationship with yourself is the key to happiness at any size.0 -
The reason I even came across this article is someone I know (who is very heavy) posted it... and said "YEP!". Now... my thoughts about the subject come very much from a personal place. My dad is about 100-150lbs overweight. He has diabetes, high blood pressure, galt, sleep apnea... the list goes on. You know what he says about his weight? "At least I'm happy". I think that's very selfish... because I'm NOT going to be happy when he dies from his illnesses because he'd rather have 3 plates at dinner and lots of pecan pie. I'm glad the lady that wrote this article has found a way to love herself... that's very important.. but HEALTH (which comes along with weight loss) is very important as well.
And, I'm sorry... but lots of people say "i'm happy being fat". I call bull**** because if you were happy being fat.... you wouldn't be UNHAPPY everytime you grow out of your pants.... or every time someone says something about you needing to lose weight. In my experience... the reason people over eat is because somewhere deep inside... they aren't happy.0 -
The woman dropped a lot of weight quickly and suffered from clear signs of malnourishment and blames those feelings on the feeling of being thin.0
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I think that learning to TRULY love oneself is hard for someone that is overweight to do. Being overweight myself and never having a problem with dating, getting married, getting a job, having kids, etc because of my weight, I still was not able to FALL in love with me! I used to shout to the world that I LOVED me. But, yet, I used to worry about whether or not I would fit into a chair at a restaurant, whether or not I would have to ask for an extender on an airplane,.
Let's not even begin to talk about the health issued that began to occur as I got older due to my being overweight.
When she gets older and she developes hight blood presssure, diabetes, knee problems, etc, she will more than likely have a change of heart.0 -
I'm willing to place a bet that she didn't lose the weight the best way possible which is why she felt exhausted and run down. Hence why she felt happier when she was heavier. She went from one end of the spectrum (heavier) to the other (extreme dieting) and never tried an in between before going back to being heavy. That's just my guess, though...0
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So much truth in what many people have already said.
No, we don't all have to be super-models, but 100 pounds overweight is not healthy for anyone in the long run.
Moderation is the key.
When this girl is 50, has Diabetes, arthritis, HBP, trashed joints, and all of the other side effects than can come along with a lifetime of obesity, she will regret not keeping the weight off.
If your happiness is tied to the scale, or if it is tied to a dozen Krispy Kremes, neither is a good way to go thru life.
Reported for Krispy Kreme shaming :mad:
Nah, j/k. In all seriousness, some people can be "obese" by their BMI but be perfectly healthy, blood-work wise. Some can't. I know I personally can't. I had to lose weight to improve my health. Not everyone has diabetes and arthritis as a result of being heavy, though.0 -
I was pretty happy heavy for most of my adult life (30+ years). Through good nutrition and activity, I even managed to avoid all those awful comorbidities like diabetes, heart trouble, etc. that we normally associate with overweight.
But then I got ovarian cancer. Not because I was fat, but the fat complicated things a LOT! In fact, the cancer surgeries had trouble healing properly because my abdominal wall was pretty much toast after years of obesity, a pregnancy and the cancer surgeries cut me top to bottom. So then the hernias started because of the weight of my abdomen.
It became a life-threatening situation rather quickly and unexpectedly. I now see all of the ways that weight can damage the health in mechanical terms (the stress of the weight itself on the body) and am now convinced. Until I came to MFP, though, I had no idea how "doable" it was from the perspective of making sure I eat ENOUGH as well as 'not too much.'
The MFP approach is new and shocking (in a good way) to many of us who have been told for decades that you must eat 1200 calories of only raw veggies to lose weight. I believe that as more people realize how different life can be with relatively minor adjustments in lifestyle, they will choose a leaner, more fit way of life.
I am hoping that my trip down to goal weight is a one-way trip ... I can't imagine returning to this life (of being morbidly obese) again now, knowing now what I have learned since I came here.0 -
Geez, she wrote an article about how she is happier with herself when she isn't worried about being skinny, and people are critical that she didn't worry in the correct manner? Our culture equates thin with happy and successful, and these comments to her article just underline how screwed up that is. She tried something, it didn't make her happy, she found a way to be happy, and you think she is wrong because she did not try the same thing that makes you happy? No wonder she gave up. The semantics of size and health are loaded with connotation but their meaning is not always consistent with usage. Who are you to say that if she had made a 'lifestyle change' she would have been happier than 'dieting?' or that the happiness she feels now is not good enough? She decided thin didn't make her happy. and the response is that thin=healthy and that's what she should want. All that does is prop up the same cultural pressure that caused her so much exhaustion and negative body image in the first place.
I don't feel that anybody here has done that at all. The posters here simply see what she did - many have done the same thing(s) - and recognize where a large part of the problem is/was.0 -
This is why it's SO important to create a healthy lifestyle that's MAINTAINABLE.
I am pretty healthy, but I have my moments and my diet isn't crazy strict. But I have a friend who is a body builder and trainer and he is constantly drinking protein shakes and only eats grilled chicken and steak and weighs everything to the gram and won't ever ever ever cheat. He works out 3-4 times PER DAY and while his results are absolutely amazing I could never sustain that (or at least it's not important enough for me to).
I think the biggest reason 'habitual dieters' can never maintain is that they set their goals so extreme that it does in fact make them miserable. I would advise someone like that to start really really small. Give up fries. Maybe non-diet soda. Something. Something that you have regularly but can cut out without changing your life. Then build from there.
It's unfortunate, but as others pointed out here it will come to roost later in life. Obesity causes more health problems in America than just about anything else, including smoking.0 -
Did anyone actually read the whole article?
"Some might believe that my story means I am anti-weight loss, but I am not. I'm anti-shame, guilt and fear as an avenue to weighing less in the hopes of being a better and healthier person for it.
I believe we each have a unique spectrum of health, and it's up to us individually to have the self-awareness to gauge if what we do each day is healthy or unhealthy, not just for our bodies, but for our overall well-being. Being larger isn't an automatic indicator of poor health, as I'm more fit today that I was when I weighed less. Deep down, you know if your actions lean more towards healthy or unhealthy, and this goes for anyone at any size. A more holistic approach to your own body's needs and happiness may end up serving you better long-term because the best lifestyle is the one you're excited and happy about."
No where is she finding happiness in donuts or even an unhealthy lifestyle, she found happiness by not tying her self worth to her weight. She talks about knowing your body and what is healthy for it. My guess is that a lot of people have to convince themselves that thin=healthy=happy in order to motivate themselves. Or that has motivated their lifestyle in the first place. Sure she may not have gone about losing weight in the healthiest manner, but how does that disqualify her feeling happy with herself? she didn't even claim she is happy because she is heavy, only that she found happiness at the weight she is.0 -
I think it was more she did not know or like who she was at that point during her weight loss.
That is like saying I hated my boss in colorado and he made my life miserable...thus...Colorado makes me miserable....NO....
If you do/do not like yourself emotionally..losing or gaining weight will not change that. You have to be happy with who you are inside before you can be happy with the outside...0
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