"I am Happier Heavier"
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The reason I even came across this article is someone I know (who is very heavy) posted it... and said "YEP!". Now... my thoughts about the subject come very much from a personal place. My dad is about 100-150lbs overweight. He has diabetes, high blood pressure, galt, sleep apnea... the list goes on. You know what he says about his weight? "At least I'm happy". I think that's very selfish... because I'm NOT going to be happy when he dies from his illnesses because he'd rather have 3 plates at dinner and lots of pecan pie. I'm glad the lady that wrote this article has found a way to love herself... that's very important.. but HEALTH (which comes along with weight loss) is very important as well.
And, I'm sorry... but lots of people say "i'm happy being fat". I call bull**** because if you were happy being fat.... you wouldn't be UNHAPPY everytime you grow out of your pants.... or every time someone says something about you needing to lose weight. In my experience... the reason people over eat is because somewhere deep inside... they aren't happy.0 -
The woman dropped a lot of weight quickly and suffered from clear signs of malnourishment and blames those feelings on the feeling of being thin.0
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I think that learning to TRULY love oneself is hard for someone that is overweight to do. Being overweight myself and never having a problem with dating, getting married, getting a job, having kids, etc because of my weight, I still was not able to FALL in love with me! I used to shout to the world that I LOVED me. But, yet, I used to worry about whether or not I would fit into a chair at a restaurant, whether or not I would have to ask for an extender on an airplane,.
Let's not even begin to talk about the health issued that began to occur as I got older due to my being overweight.
When she gets older and she developes hight blood presssure, diabetes, knee problems, etc, she will more than likely have a change of heart.0 -
I'm willing to place a bet that she didn't lose the weight the best way possible which is why she felt exhausted and run down. Hence why she felt happier when she was heavier. She went from one end of the spectrum (heavier) to the other (extreme dieting) and never tried an in between before going back to being heavy. That's just my guess, though...0
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So much truth in what many people have already said.
No, we don't all have to be super-models, but 100 pounds overweight is not healthy for anyone in the long run.
Moderation is the key.
When this girl is 50, has Diabetes, arthritis, HBP, trashed joints, and all of the other side effects than can come along with a lifetime of obesity, she will regret not keeping the weight off.
If your happiness is tied to the scale, or if it is tied to a dozen Krispy Kremes, neither is a good way to go thru life.
Reported for Krispy Kreme shaming :mad:
Nah, j/k. In all seriousness, some people can be "obese" by their BMI but be perfectly healthy, blood-work wise. Some can't. I know I personally can't. I had to lose weight to improve my health. Not everyone has diabetes and arthritis as a result of being heavy, though.0 -
I was pretty happy heavy for most of my adult life (30+ years). Through good nutrition and activity, I even managed to avoid all those awful comorbidities like diabetes, heart trouble, etc. that we normally associate with overweight.
But then I got ovarian cancer. Not because I was fat, but the fat complicated things a LOT! In fact, the cancer surgeries had trouble healing properly because my abdominal wall was pretty much toast after years of obesity, a pregnancy and the cancer surgeries cut me top to bottom. So then the hernias started because of the weight of my abdomen.
It became a life-threatening situation rather quickly and unexpectedly. I now see all of the ways that weight can damage the health in mechanical terms (the stress of the weight itself on the body) and am now convinced. Until I came to MFP, though, I had no idea how "doable" it was from the perspective of making sure I eat ENOUGH as well as 'not too much.'
The MFP approach is new and shocking (in a good way) to many of us who have been told for decades that you must eat 1200 calories of only raw veggies to lose weight. I believe that as more people realize how different life can be with relatively minor adjustments in lifestyle, they will choose a leaner, more fit way of life.
I am hoping that my trip down to goal weight is a one-way trip ... I can't imagine returning to this life (of being morbidly obese) again now, knowing now what I have learned since I came here.0 -
Geez, she wrote an article about how she is happier with herself when she isn't worried about being skinny, and people are critical that she didn't worry in the correct manner? Our culture equates thin with happy and successful, and these comments to her article just underline how screwed up that is. She tried something, it didn't make her happy, she found a way to be happy, and you think she is wrong because she did not try the same thing that makes you happy? No wonder she gave up. The semantics of size and health are loaded with connotation but their meaning is not always consistent with usage. Who are you to say that if she had made a 'lifestyle change' she would have been happier than 'dieting?' or that the happiness she feels now is not good enough? She decided thin didn't make her happy. and the response is that thin=healthy and that's what she should want. All that does is prop up the same cultural pressure that caused her so much exhaustion and negative body image in the first place.
I don't feel that anybody here has done that at all. The posters here simply see what she did - many have done the same thing(s) - and recognize where a large part of the problem is/was.0 -
This is why it's SO important to create a healthy lifestyle that's MAINTAINABLE.
I am pretty healthy, but I have my moments and my diet isn't crazy strict. But I have a friend who is a body builder and trainer and he is constantly drinking protein shakes and only eats grilled chicken and steak and weighs everything to the gram and won't ever ever ever cheat. He works out 3-4 times PER DAY and while his results are absolutely amazing I could never sustain that (or at least it's not important enough for me to).
I think the biggest reason 'habitual dieters' can never maintain is that they set their goals so extreme that it does in fact make them miserable. I would advise someone like that to start really really small. Give up fries. Maybe non-diet soda. Something. Something that you have regularly but can cut out without changing your life. Then build from there.
It's unfortunate, but as others pointed out here it will come to roost later in life. Obesity causes more health problems in America than just about anything else, including smoking.0 -
Did anyone actually read the whole article?
"Some might believe that my story means I am anti-weight loss, but I am not. I'm anti-shame, guilt and fear as an avenue to weighing less in the hopes of being a better and healthier person for it.
I believe we each have a unique spectrum of health, and it's up to us individually to have the self-awareness to gauge if what we do each day is healthy or unhealthy, not just for our bodies, but for our overall well-being. Being larger isn't an automatic indicator of poor health, as I'm more fit today that I was when I weighed less. Deep down, you know if your actions lean more towards healthy or unhealthy, and this goes for anyone at any size. A more holistic approach to your own body's needs and happiness may end up serving you better long-term because the best lifestyle is the one you're excited and happy about."
No where is she finding happiness in donuts or even an unhealthy lifestyle, she found happiness by not tying her self worth to her weight. She talks about knowing your body and what is healthy for it. My guess is that a lot of people have to convince themselves that thin=healthy=happy in order to motivate themselves. Or that has motivated their lifestyle in the first place. Sure she may not have gone about losing weight in the healthiest manner, but how does that disqualify her feeling happy with herself? she didn't even claim she is happy because she is heavy, only that she found happiness at the weight she is.0 -
I think it was more she did not know or like who she was at that point during her weight loss.
That is like saying I hated my boss in colorado and he made my life miserable...thus...Colorado makes me miserable....NO....
If you do/do not like yourself emotionally..losing or gaining weight will not change that. You have to be happy with who you are inside before you can be happy with the outside...0 -
This was what I got too. I have a friend doing weight watchers, and from the points she logs for a meal compared to what I log calorie-wise for the same food, she's eating very few calories when she has a "treat". It seems like the point system overly penalizes higher fat foods and whatnot. Because she's short, they have her eating about 1100 calories, and it's less if any of her points are "guilt foods" (seriously, what is that crap?).I'm willing to place a bet that she didn't lose the weight the best way possible which is why she felt exhausted and run down. Hence why she felt happier when she was heavier. She went from one end of the spectrum (heavier) to the other (extreme dieting) and never tried an in between before going back to being heavy. That's just my guess, though...
My guess is that she was following the program as directed, but it was just too much of a cut for her. Also, my friend has the belief that you don't eat back exercise points because she from the older program from way back when. And it can be completely up to your leader or what you read online if you do eat them back or not. I could easily see her being too run down if she isn't eating enough to sustain her activity. And hell yeah, that would make you miserable fast!0 -
What ever reason people may have, no one is the same and will feel the same. I guess most of us here on MFP feel like we want to be slim(mer) and in shape, but some people really don't feel the need and are happier the way they are, with some extra baggage. A good friend of mine also doesn't want to lose till 'normal' weight, for her 90 kg (198.5 lbs) is fine. For me that same weight feels like huge and fat, even tho I also don't feel the need to become super skinny.0
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I used to tell myself that lie everyday... but the reality was, I was miserable. That's why I hated getting my picture taken or never wanted to look in a mirror. You can tell yourself what ever you want to help you sleep at night but MOST people know deep down inside it's a lie. We all want to be attractive.0
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So many issues, so little time...
"Midway through my freshman year of college I joined Weight Watchers and the gym, becoming obsessed with both."
"But as the scale dipped lower and the compliments on my weight-loss wore off, something else emerged: I felt exhausted, disappointed and still unhappy."
"I felt defeated and broken that after all my effort, not much beyond the scale changed."
"I was constantly overthinking what I could eat, how much I should workout, and how to balance being a young adult and on a diet."
Being obsessed with dieting is not mentally healthy IMO. She should have examined why she wanted to lose weight in the first place. If it was to get dates, get compliments, or to fit into 'cute clothing,' she could have done either of those things before trying to lose weight. It doesn't sound like she allowed room for rest days or an occasional pleasure meal. No wonder she was miserable. Someone should have told her to fit chocolate into her daily calorie count!
Losing weight is not a magic life fixer, it's an avenue to a healthier lifestyle. IF you allow yourself to adapt to healthier habits on a regular basis versus dieting with a perceived end date then I believe you get more out of it. However, perhaps it'll she'll revisit her efforts at a later date.
The only statement that I think she nailed was this one:
"My lesson wasn't to learn how to lose weight -- it was to learn how to accept myself."
There's no reason she couldn't do this and weigh less in the process. Maybe she'll find MFP in a few years and truly get it together. :0)0 -
What ever reason people may have, no one is the same and will feel the same. I guess most of us here on MFP feel like we want to be slim(mer) and in shape, but some people really don't feel the need and are happier the way they are, with some extra baggage. A good friend of mine also doesn't want to lose till 'normal' weight, for her 90 kg (198.5 lbs) is fine. For me that same weight feels like huge and fat, even tho I also don't feel the need to become super skinny.
Agreed. According to the BMI charts my "healthy weight" is in the 125-135 range... which with my build I believe would make me too skinny... I think I would be very happy in the 140-150 range. I'm just sad that this woman chose the wrong way of going about losing weight.. and maybe in the wrong time of her life as well... leaving her with a bad taste in her mouth regarding being thin(ner). Everyone I've ever met that did WW gained most if not all of the weight back and were very bitter about the process.0 -
True, but the REASON she listed as not being happy was that she was exhausted mentally and physically. Thus, if she dropped the weight properly and slowly with a good lifestyle instead of binge dieting, she could have found happiness there too.No where is she finding happiness in donuts or even an unhealthy lifestyle, she found happiness by not tying her self worth to her weight. She talks about knowing your body and what is healthy for it. My guess is that a lot of people have to convince themselves that thin=healthy=happy in order to motivate themselves. Or that has motivated their lifestyle in the first place. Sure she may not have gone about losing weight in the healthiest manner, but how does that disqualify her feeling happy with herself? she didn't even claim she is happy because she is heavy, only that she found happiness at the weight she is.
I would add that I think people should NOT try to find happiness in dieting. Find happiness in life and live a healthy lifestyle to make it better. It's like when people try to find a mate that 'makes them happy'. Will. Never. Happen. No person is perfect and you have to look at YOURSELF first.0 -
When what she says is true:
1. If you are losing weight for someone else.
2. If you are losing weight because of what someone else will say to you.
3. If you are dieting
When what she says shouldn't hold true:
1. If you are losing weight because of you
2. If you are losing weight by lifestyle change rather than a diet.
3. If you aren't seeking happiness from a dress/pant size.
The reasons can go on and on.
I just got back from vacation, during that time my goal was simple, do not gain more than 5 pounds. I wasn't weighing food, I wasn't measuring my intake. I had gone an entire year of that and figured I could estimate what I took in. After my vacation I weighed in 1 pound lighter than when I left. Lifestyle change. I know what my portions should look like and I know how to be happy within them. I don't stress it, I don't worry about it, in fact I really didn't think about it to much. The reason most diets fail is because they aren't fixing your lifestyle issues. You can't eat like a bird for 3 months then go back to eating like a bear and think you will continue to look like a bird.0 -
Quote from the article:
"I wanted to feel happy, but dieting wasn't making me feel happy."
That was her problem the entire time. She saw it as a diet. She didn't see it as a sustainable lifestyle change. She was giving her 100% just to lower the number on the scale. she wasn't making baby steps to new habits and a new life.
Yep, this. Absolutely this.
Also, regardless of how much happier she supposedly is at a heavier weight, that doesn't mean she's healthy! I work for a cardiologist and if she could come into my office and pass a treadmill stress test then whatever, but realistically her cardiovascular health is at risk.
I agree completely with all of the above. I also work for a cardiologist and I would like to see her pass a stress test also.
You CANNOT "white knuckle" a healthy lifestyle...you need to ease into it and not think of it in a way that has you doing things that you cannot maintain.0 -
It's easy to live in denial.
Gaining lots of weight is about eating too much. And that usually means you are coping with emotional issues by overeating. You are probably still obsessed with food / just like you obsess when dieting.
Others here have stated the real health risks that will pile up with additional weight over the coming years for those who accept that they are destined to be fat/obese and are happily overweight.0 -
What ever reason people may have, no one is the same and will feel the same. I guess most of us here on MFP feel like we want to be slim(mer) and in shape, but some people really don't feel the need and are happier the way they are, with some extra baggage. A good friend of mine also doesn't want to lose till 'normal' weight, for her 90 kg (198.5 lbs) is fine. For me that same weight feels like huge and fat, even tho I also don't feel the need to become super skinny.
Agreed. According to the BMI charts my "healthy weight" is in the 125-135 range... which with my build I believe would make me too skinny... I think I would be very happy in the 140-150 range. I'm just sad that this woman chose the wrong way of going about losing weight.. and maybe in the wrong time of her life as well... leaving her with a bad taste in her mouth regarding being thin(ner). Everyone I've ever met that did WW gained most if not all of the weight back and were very bitter about the process.
WW is weight watchers? If so, I can imagine *roles eyes*0
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