Anorexia recovery on my own: am I eating too much?

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Replies

  • Jamie22184
    Jamie22184 Posts: 33 Member
    1. Congratulations on working on your recovery and asking for help! That's a big stepping stone.

    2. With all the exercise you are doing I don't think you are eating enough. Think of your body like it's a car....a car doesn't work at it optimal best unless it's properly fueled...neither does your body.

    3. I agree with others who have suggested working with a health professional. Maybe talk to your Dr about seeing a nutritionist or dietian, they can help you come up with a plan foodwise. Maybe even a therapist too for the "mental healing."
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    You are not eating enough, that all looks like diet food to me. Eat a veggie subway or turkey sub for lunch with whole grain roll, some baked chips and some fruit and maybe a low fat milk. You are young, dont ruin your hair skin and bones. Also eat a more filling dinner.

    You know baked chips arent good, I heard many years ago they contain a chemical that I believe causes rectum cancer....Ill look it up and let you know. but you do mean the bags of chips that say baked on them correct?

    I believe you are referring to Olestra, which isn't in ALL baked chips. The ones that are "fat free" or "reduced fat" usually contain it. And it usually says that they contain Olestra on the front of the package.


    Im not sure but Lays Baked chips is sold at Subway chains....But this is what I was referring to and its Renal Cancer but this goes for all types of chips and other type of foods http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/acrylamide-in-food

    Creating food fear in someone who has anorexia? Good job, how stupid can someone be?
    A bag of chips isn't going to cause cancer, FFS.
  • IvyRue
    IvyRue Posts: 5
    Hi! Someone please give me some support :(

    I am a girl, 18, and trying to recover from anorexia by myself (as in, without any treatment team or IOP). In the past I have been much worse off in terms of my eating disorder and weight (my lowest was 84lbs at 5'2.5") and had to be hospitalized/put inpatient for almost three months. I was released sort of early in terms of my recovery last time; probably a big fault of the treatment center I was at, I was "weight restored" but not quite optimally, as I was still retaining water and shed almost five lbs in my first month home of recovery - also, I was never assigned a maintenance meal plan, therefore I have absolutely no idea how to eat (as silly as that sounds, it's true).

    In my first semester of college now, I haven't been doing great with recovery, but now I am trying to get back on track. I had been eating no more than 300-600 calories a day, max. I'm now not counting calories or weighing myself.

    Although I'm not as dangerously thin as a was a year and a half ago when I was hospitalized, I'm still about 7-12lbs underweight at 5'2.5". Two and a half weeks ago I was roughly 96-98lbs, 98 officially at the doctor's office fully clothed, constipated (sorry tmi), and having eaten "normally" for a week (so I'm assuming I was also carrying water weight, it might have been much lower than 98 before then as I had been weighing myself at around 93 lbs). I know my ideal weight range for my height (as given to me in treatment) is anywhere between 103-120, ideally at around 108-115 minimum.

    The past two weeks I've been eating regularly and frequently, and though I haven't been weighing myself or eating the same things everyday, I'm afraid I am gaining weight too quickly or something, I just feel it. Here is roughly what I've been eating:

    Breakfast:
    -Tea with tsp honey
    -Choice nature's path brand cereal (1-2 servings, eyeballed)
    -Eyeballed 1-2 cups almond milk
    -Fruit (usually blueberries, pineapple chunks, grapes, strawberries) (enough to put in my cereal)
    or
    -1 serving rolled oats made on the stovetop
    with (usually more a midmorning snack)
    -1/2 a grapefruit sometimes,
    sometimes also 1/4-1/2 cup 1% cottage cheese
    or/with
    celery sticks with peanut butter

    Lunch:
    Same sort of midmorning snack thing, usually cottage cheese or an apple and celery sticks with peanut butter, sometimes a yogurt and orange
    Usually some grapes with it

    I snack on the same sort of things already mentioned, might have tea with honey again.

    Dinner:
    This is different usually, either:
    Salad with balsamic dressing and goats cheese and lots of veggies,
    Usually with another cooked vegetable on the side
    and something else like sauteed mushrooms in olive oil or squash
    Or
    A "rice bowl", cooked veggies with maybe a cup of wild rice or quinoa and squash
    Or
    Shiritaki noodles with cooked veggies

    Snack after dinner:
    Depends, usually fruit again, applesauce, cottage cheese etc, over the weekend when I go home I might have a challenge food like frozen yogurt and I even had cake this weekend for my mom's birthday

    Anyways, my question is: am I eating too much? I've been eating very frequently/regularly but keeping my meals small - I also am borderline anemic and have borderline hypoglycemia so I am trying to regulate that as well.

    Am I eating the right things? Or too much? I am a vegetarian by the way, I know there's no meat there but I try to get protein and fat through stuff like cheese, peanut butter, avocado etc.

    I'm afraid of getting fat! I know I need to gain weight but I don't want to gain it too quickly! :( Does anyone have any suggestions for meal plans on your own?

    *I forgot to add, I do exercise regularly, I walk quite a bit for school every other day (3-5 miles depending on the day, other days I don't have to walk) and for pleasure when I can I like to go for a 2-3 mile walk.


    Hey - that's awful they didn't prescribe you a meal plan!!! It's insane...

    I was in hospital with a few anorexic girls (used to be bulimic) and generally speaking they put them on meal plans of about 1500 - 1700 a day if they were exercising to maintain.

    The way they sorted out the meal plans was to come up with options everyone liked - so like three options for breakfast/snack/lunch/snack/dinner - and you were only allowed to eat from those three options (as long as everyday totaled 1700 - or whatever your goal was and no less).

    What may happen to your body is that you'll gain a little and then you'll stop.. you just have to trust it.

    x
  • LvLite
    LvLite Posts: 102 Member
    Absolutely agree with JJJJ25 and Geekyjock76. The more friends you have that have been there and recovered the better :)

    The websites posted are great! Thankfully there is a more knowledge than before for this, sounds like you are on the right track indeed, congratulations!!
  • jennegan1
    jennegan1 Posts: 677 Member
    You are not eating enough, that all looks like diet food to me. Eat a veggie subway or turkey sub for lunch with whole grain roll, some baked chips and some fruit and maybe a low fat milk. You are young, dont ruin your hair skin and bones. Also eat a more filling dinner.

    You know baked chips arent good, I heard many years ago they contain a chemical that I believe causes rectum cancer....Ill look it up and let you know. but you do mean the bags of chips that say baked on them correct?

    I believe you are referring to Olestra, which isn't in ALL baked chips. The ones that are "fat free" or "reduced fat" usually contain it. And it usually says that they contain Olestra on the front of the package.


    Im not sure but Lays Baked chips is sold at Subway chains....But this is what I was referring to and its Renal Cancer but this goes for all types of chips and other type of foods http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/acrylamide-in-food

    Creating food fear in someone who has anorexia? Good job, how stupid can someone be?
    A bag of chips isn't going to cause cancer, FFS.


    First of all dont call me stupid when you dont even know me. 2nd of all Im not trying to create any type of fear here. I was just saying that alot of things contains chemicals. But I still eat those things just in moderation. All that I was simply doing was passing along information. Excuse me if I came off wrong to you or any one else
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    You are not eating enough, that all looks like diet food to me. Eat a veggie subway or turkey sub for lunch with whole grain roll, some baked chips and some fruit and maybe a low fat milk. You are young, dont ruin your hair skin and bones. Also eat a more filling dinner.

    You know baked chips arent good, I heard many years ago they contain a chemical that I believe causes rectum cancer....Ill look it up and let you know. but you do mean the bags of chips that say baked on them correct?

    I believe you are referring to Olestra, which isn't in ALL baked chips. The ones that are "fat free" or "reduced fat" usually contain it. And it usually says that they contain Olestra on the front of the package.


    Im not sure but Lays Baked chips is sold at Subway chains....But this is what I was referring to and its Renal Cancer but this goes for all types of chips and other type of foods http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/acrylamide-in-food

    Creating food fear in someone who has anorexia? Good job, how stupid can someone be?
    A bag of chips isn't going to cause cancer, FFS.

    ^Agreed. The last thing you start doing to someone with an eating disorder is start throwing food fear mongering stuff at them. Ugh. :angry:
  • jennegan1
    jennegan1 Posts: 677 Member
    Ok I made a mistake sheesh and I didnt even mean to either
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    You are not eating enough, that all looks like diet food to me. Eat a veggie subway or turkey sub for lunch with whole grain roll, some baked chips and some fruit and maybe a low fat milk. You are young, dont ruin your hair skin and bones. Also eat a more filling dinner.

    You know baked chips arent good, I heard many years ago they contain a chemical that I believe causes rectum cancer....Ill look it up and let you know. but you do mean the bags of chips that say baked on them correct?

    I believe you are referring to Olestra, which isn't in ALL baked chips. The ones that are "fat free" or "reduced fat" usually contain it. And it usually says that they contain Olestra on the front of the package.


    Im not sure but Lays Baked chips is sold at Subway chains....But this is what I was referring to and its Renal Cancer but this goes for all types of chips and other type of foods http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Risk/acrylamide-in-food

    Creating food fear in someone who has anorexia? Good job, how stupid can someone be?
    A bag of chips isn't going to cause cancer, FFS.


    First of all dont call me stupid when you dont even know me. 2nd of all Im not trying to create any type of fear here. I was just saying that alot of things contains chemicals. But I still eat those things just in moderation. All that I was simply doing was passing along information. Excuse me if I came off wrong to you or any one else
    Please stop talking.
  • sugar297
    sugar297 Posts: 106 Member
    You really should add more food to lunch and dinner. lots of vegetables, protein (like chicken) and brown rice for instance. Good luck and I'd be happy to support you as I do this a lot in my field of work.
  • ciki90
    ciki90 Posts: 51 Member
    Hey there! My heart goes out to you. I was in the same situation that you were, almost. I was threatened with hospitalization and IP treatment, but with the help of loved ones, I was able get to a weight-restored state. I'll tell you just what I did, but it may not be exactly right for you, but there is no way to know for sure! Maybe you can draw from my experience, and I. Hop Ethan it at least helps you in some way:

    After being diagnosed, I had to drop out of school for a while. My parents really wanted me to be home for a while, so I stayed with them for two weeks (I live across the country with my bf.) Being back home made me feel very comfortable.... They were offering me foods from my childhood that I remembered eating in a way that was free from ED. Having my parents cook for me as I stayed in my childhood bedroom allowed me to be in a safer place. I tried to tell myself that I could just relax and all I had to think about was getting better. I didn't have to worry about looking any sort of way to go out with friends, or to be anything except a girl recovering from an eating disorder.

    The foods my parents made were delicious, and as I started to eat more, my appetite grew. I couldn't stop eating! But it was okay. I often visited sites like Your Eatopia, which gave me reassurance that I wasn't overeating by any means. I'd starved for so long, and I needed thousands of calories to repair internal and external damage. But what did I eat? For the first two weeks at my parents house, I ate everything: cereal bars, dried fruits, yogurt covered raisins, nuts, candy, cookies, ice cream, peanut butter, macaroni and cheese, oats, eggs, bacon, French fries,cakes, pies, hamburgers, barbecue, beans.... I could go on forever.i tried so hard to focus on everyone getting together and spending time and eating, and less time on if the foods were "good" or "bad." In NO way did I count calories at the time, but honestly, I probably ate such calorie-dense foods so frequently that I could have eaten 5,000+ in one day after my appetite kicked back in. So, to answer your question: no! You are NOT eating too much. You're also not eating enough. Dont eat according to how many calories you have left for the day: eat according to how you feel: if you are tired during the day, if you feel weak, if you feel hunger (appetite will come back!), if you have a craving for a food, or anything along those lines. Please, eat! Your body wants to eat. Your body wants to survive, and you deserve it.

    When I returned home with my boyfriend, though, there were only safe foods. Of course, I. Wasn't going to go out and start buying the foods my parents had lying around, but I did still make an effort to gain weight when I was at home. I loved to eat healthy, and so i started to make smoothies and shakes. To make them dense and full of nutrition, I'd add things like coconut milk, protein powder, nut butters, honey, fruit, vegetables, ice cream... Anything I wanted. I'd eat it with granola and nuts, and it really helped me.

    I don't think that I would have made it this far without working out, though. Lifting weights is what made gaining the weight back really actually *enjoyable.* I knew I was gaining muscle and not just fat. I knew I was making my body BETTER, not just gaining weight because people told me I had to. Maybe if you found an exercise that you really enjoy, it can help relieve stress and boost your confidence. Also it helps with getting your hunger back!

    If you'd like to message me or add me as a friend, feel free! I have so much more advice for you and words of encouragement, but I feel like I've written so much already. Good luck. You can do this! You deserve recovery. You deserve happiness. I am so glad that you are fighting to get your life back! Happy holidays!
  • Larrytheloungelizard
    Larrytheloungelizard Posts: 8
    There's about 3000 calories in 1lb of fat. What you're eating right now honestly still sounds like a diet plan - there's not a lot of calories in celery or cottage cheese, and I don't think you're eating enough in general to be gaining. Have three breakfasts, and no, I'm not kidding. Eat more when you're burning more energy, less when you need less energy. I think you're right to be getting all the nutrients from fruits and vegetables in there, but you need some high fat, high protein and high calorie foods in there too. Ice cream and chocolate aren't nutritious but they're not the enemy either. You will not get fat. You will get healthy.

    Also, it's a good idea to talk to a professional. Even if you can fix your weight by yourself it's possible you're not addressing the underlying psychological cause of your eating disorder. I'm speaking here from personal experience. Either way, I wish you all the best.
  • annajanee14
    annajanee14 Posts: 2
    You're definitely not eating too much! Also, you are not gaining weight super fast! it is most likely just an enema or mass amounts of water retention which is characteristic of eating disorder recovery. This can make it seem like you've gained 7-16 more lbs than you actually have but your body does this in order to protect your organs in fear that you may continue to starve at some point. it is not real weight gain and it is not real fat it will eventually go down in time if you do not restrictively eat. here is a link to a very informative website that will tell you what to expect in recovery. if you know what to expect chances of a relapse are much less likely:)
    http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2012/11/23/phases-of-recovery-from-a-restrictive-eating-disorder.html
  • dontgobacktosleep
    dontgobacktosleep Posts: 144 Member
    I was actively anorexic for 8 years from ages 19 to 26.

    You need to get off MFP. People mean well but recovery is a very dangerous situation. No, 1800 is not enough. See "I Need How Many Calories?!!": http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2011/9/14/i-need-how-many-calories.html

    Keep in mind if you elect to recover yourself you are at risk for refeeding syndrome (you can have a heart attack).

    This is not the time for you to be soliciting advice from anyone but doctors with experience treating people with ED's, as well as a counselor and possibly dietitian.

    Good luck to you.

    I second this, please get yourself to professionals who can help you. Much love.
  • Adrianachiarato
    Adrianachiarato Posts: 362 Member
    First of all, well done! It's not easy to deal with eating disorders!

    I don't think you are eating too much at all. Just a quick question, are you vegetarian? I ask because I don't see meat in your meals and I believe you could use it considering you are borderline anemic.
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    You should NOT seek medical advice regarding anorexia or any other life-threatening condition from a message board! Why is this thread still open??
  • PippiNe
    PippiNe Posts: 283 Member
    Does anyone have any suggestions for meal plans on your own?

    My local HyVee store has hired a dietician who is available to the public for free to help them with their dietary needs. If you cannot afford to pay for someone's services, maybe check with local big chain grocery stores in your area and see if they offer a similar public service. I'm sure they will recommend products available at the store, however, they should be able to help you set up a meal plan to fit in your budget and your preferences (vegetarian). The one locally also coordinates with other people at the store to provide healthy recipes and cooking demonstrations. Might be worth checking into. Congrats on recognizing your need for getting your health back and best of luck on your journey!
  • elsinora
    elsinora Posts: 398 Member
    THIS is all that needs to be said below. Good luck on your journey x
    Sweetheart, my heart goes out to you. I was anorexic when I was eleven years old, and I had to be hospitalized and back then, they didn't have the kinds of treatment centers that they have now; I had to go to a mental hospital for children.

    I wish, in retrospect, that I had received therapy in my years following the hospital, because I have struggled with food issues my whole life.

    I would first highly recommend, and, quite frankly, beg you to engage in a relationship with a therapist. A psychiatrist would be best, because a psychiatrist can prescribe medication. You probably also suffer--because I recognize it in myself as well--from obsessive compulsive disorder, and there are anti-depressants out there that can help you to reach a better level of peace with yourself.

    A good therapist will work with you to address your anxiety and depression issues. I see a therapist and I take anti-depressants, and it has helped my life so much.

    And I TOTALLY, TOTALLY understand your obsession about NOT WANTING TO GET FAT. I was completely like you when I was eighteen. I was a perfectionist, and I still am, by the way, and I got so thin at one point I stopped menstruating.

    I hope you find peace and nourishment in your life. Your body deserves to be well fed. A well fed body is a well nourished body, and a body that can work and play and live and love.

    I am fifty now. I AM FIFTY! And I love my life and I feel great about my life and I feel comfortable in my skin in a way that I didn't when I was eighteen.

    And here's the ironic thing. I carry a weight on my body now, that if someone had told me, at eighteen, I'd be carrying on my frame when I turned fifty, I would've put my eighteen-year-old head into an oven.

    I am surprised when I see photos of myself, even at this weight, for I am astonished to see that I still look pretty good! I may look chubby in some photos, but my life is rich and full, EVEN WITH this extra weight I'm carrying and trying to lose. I won't ever get as thin as I was when I was eighteen. I would be dying from cancer if I got that thin. I'm working to achieve a goal of weight that I think I can sustain and still enjoy my life and not drive my husband too crazy by telling him, even today, "I think I ate too much."

    Please, please, PLEASE see a therapist. Anorexia is too lonely an illness to be dealt with alone. I'm glad you've come this far on your own, but it is okay to get help. I understand completely, how hard it is for people to get mental health counseling, because there's still a stigma against it.

    I should know!

    My own beloved father, now gone, was a psychiatrist! And it was the hardest thing I've ever done, when I summoned up the courage to tell my parents that I was seeing a therapist.

    Love,

    Denise
  • Nancy_hc
    Nancy_hc Posts: 123 Member
    You should NOT seek medical advice regarding anorexia or any other life-threatening condition from a message board! Why is this thread still open??

    This. You need to find someone who can help you not only with your eating habbits but also with what the underlying issues are.
  • drusilla126
    drusilla126 Posts: 478 Member
    "I have absolutely no idea how to eat " I've said this I don't know how many times in the past few months and people just don't get it. After doing a lot of reading I fear my path to weight loss left me anorexic (probably should've gotten concerned when my periods stopped for eight months) or at least with definite anxieties regarding food. I can't afford the help so I'm trying to recover on my own too. Best of luck to you. Add me if you like. Had I known what I would become I probably would've just stayed at the weight I was as this is no way to live.
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
    Your college may have a student health center where you can get some advice about higher protein vegetarian foods too! It really sounds like you just need more protein and more calories. I would advocate for you to try and set MFP to gain a pound a week and try to eat all those calories along with the calories you exercise away. If your school is large enough or has a dietician program you may be able to get some free advice there as well in addition. Remember: Curves are Beautiful :)

    ^^THIS. Your student health center should have resources on both vegetarianism and recovery.

    Do measure and track your food, though, to make sure your portions are what you think they are. Make sure you get at least as much protein and calcium as the macros recommend (and extra protein wouldn't hurt).
  • unamoss
    unamoss Posts: 28 Member
    Beautiful post Denise, straight from the heart.

    Kiddo, get yourself to your campus health center. They have resources that you can tap into. Best of luck to you.:smile:
  • RllyGudTweetr
    RllyGudTweetr Posts: 2,019 Member
    Congratulations on working to get better.

    Since you asked about your meal plan, I'd suggest trying to get some more protein into your diet. Greek yogurt, or even just a couple of glasses of milk* (whole milk if you can; no shame in starting with a lower-fat option if you're not ready for that yet) would be decent starting places, along with an egg or two.

    *As I read your post, you're aiming for a lacto-ovo vegetarian diet.
  • Gigigirls
    Gigigirls Posts: 5 Member
    First of all, I want to echo the sentiments of those who are cheering you on or working to get better. Recovering from anorexia is a long and hard road, to be sure. You are not eating too much, so no worries there. I do agree with the community members who note that you might consider adding in a bit more protein. I am vegan and rely on tofu (and other soy products) for the bulk of my protein intake. I recommend strongly that you get to your Campus Health Center. When I was in College, I was still an active anorexic (on-and-off) and eventually sought treatment through my campus's health center. I was resistant at first, because change is hard; however, I credit the services offered by my College with helping to turn things around for me and for helping me to develop a healthier relationship with food. Don't get me wrong; managing an anorexic mindset is a life-long journey. However, with the work that you do, you get better with time (and you've already come so far).

    Keep up the good work, seek out support from your Campus Health Center, and keep checking in!
  • macelmer
    macelmer Posts: 55 Member
    I am not sure if this would be helpful to you or not, but since I have Crohn's disease and am frequently malnourished; I found that it is helpful to measure out the servings of my food instead of "eyeballing" it. When I just guess at the servings, I am under the measurements, but using a food scale and measuring cups has helped me to eat more. I also eat more snacks during the day, and I aim for 150 calories or more per snack. I have trouble eating breakfast, so at lunch I aim for 400 calories and dinner 550-600. Right now I am trying for 1850 calories a day...it is hard to hit sometimes with my symptoms (and I generally increase by 50 calories every few weeks until I hit my goal weight). I also found that drinking calories works just as well. Bolthouse Farms makes some good drinks, they are in the refrigerated section of your produce dept at the grocery store. They are high in calories and taste really good. I wish you the best of luck and agree with others that going to your campus health dept or a dietician can help you stay on the right track.

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