Being a fat acceptance ally...who still wants to be thin

I wouldn't necessary call myself a "fat acceptance" ally ... more an ally of "your weight is none of my business and as long as it doesn't affect me, hey, do whatever you want!". I know that I personally felt like crap when I was over 200 lbs, and as I decrease I feel better. My confidence increases and I have a ton more energy. However, I have a friend that's well over 300. She has tons of energy and tons of confidence at her size. I support that 100%. If she ever decides she wants to lose weight, I'll support that as well. To each their own

First of all, this isn't a fully formed opinion, just a non-rigorous intuition.
I think it all depends on how you define "fat acceptance".

I think it would be hypocritical of you to claim there is no correlation between quality of life, in one way or another, and being height-weight proportional. We can all agree that losing weight requires some amount of effort and dedication, so you wouldn't do it if you didn't perceive an advantage to it...

However, there is nothing hypocritical in wanting to be thin but accepting that different people have different priorities and that there is nothing wrong with fitness being a low (or even a non-) priority for someone (as long as we're not talking about a life-threatening situation).

If your definition of fat acceptance is the latter, I would also agree with you.

I've struggled with the same question. In the end, I feel like it ought to be less about fat acceptance, and more about body acceptance, regardless of shape and size. I feel that no one should be made to feel like less of a person because of their appearance. Being obese my entire life, I have certainly had this experience. However, this does not give me the right to degrade thin people, either.

I'm losing weight to avoid health problems in the future, and to feel more energetic now. This does not mean I intend to shame those who are still fat.

You can do both, and I feel like people should.

This. So much this.

I have exactly one body. That's all I'm responsible for and plenty of responsibility for me.

Perfect. Also, WHO DAT

Oh I likey you. :drinker:

We are all human beings. We all deserve love and kindness regardless of size or health (or 'percieved health'- you don't know how healthy a fat person is nor how healthy a thin person is just by looking at them).
So to answer your question, of course you can be an ally I know I am! Yeah I'm fat, and that's okay. But I want to be fit and healthy and strong, which I am not while I am fat. But that is me personally, and there are many fat people who ARE fit and healthy and strong. It is not for me to judge anyone's appearance, nor is it for you, or anyone else.
Basically the fat acceptance movement only exists because there are plenty of people out there putting down fat people, making them feel ashamed of themselves, making their lives difficult and eroding their self esteem just because of their external appearance. If people could just be nice there would be no need for such a thing. You lose nothing by being kind. That's all there is to it. Obviously you are a kind person, so keep being your good self! Your weight is irrelevant

:flowerforyou:

I have no problem with people who have truly accepted their weight at whatever it is and strut it proudly. With the whole fat acceptance thing, I find the trouble comes when you have friends who accept their fat, but when the perceived "thin" friend does something healthy, perceives that the action is a statement against them. Like signing up for a 5k, and asking your no so thin friends to join you. Not to make any statement about their weight, just to have the company, and then getting flack for it. The same people who go on about their womanly curves while eating chilli cheese fries (yummm) but then make remarks at the salad you ordered. I guess I am bothered by the faux fat acceptance.

I love the people I do because of who they are, and has nothing at all to do with the size and shape of their bodies. Would I love my child more or less if they were heavier/thinner? NO!

Also, I "dieted" for YEARS, but was never able to lose or maintain until I learned to love my own self, and the body I live in.

The choices we make about our bodies are our own personal choices and have nothing to do with other people. I am slim and fit. I would have to work very hard at eating tons (I already eat well) and not moving to ever be overweight. I am a dancer, that's my passion. I lift weights for long term health and fitness. I love being active. I love my body the way it is. These are my choices. My choices about my body have nothing to do with anyone else, but myself. My choices about my body are not a statement or judgement about anyone else.

I think you can absolutely be a fat acceptance ally without choosing to be fat yourself. If someone chooses to have a larger body and decides they're happiest that way, that's cool, I can totally respect that. We all have the right to choose how we want to look and what we want to do with our bodies, and we all deserve to love ourselves and be treated with respect regardless of body size.

If you feel better/happier/more like yourself in a smaller body, that's your choice to make. Ultimately you have to do what makes you happy without worrying too much about what other people are going to think about it. Your personal choices don't have to be a reflection of your thoughts about another person's lifestyle, and I don't think it's anti-anything to want to be what you feel is the best version of yourself.

:flowerforyou:

You really are one of my favorite MFP members. This is a prime example of why.

I think you can absolutely be a fat acceptance ally without choosing to be fat yourself. If someone chooses to have a larger body and decides they're happiest that way, that's cool, I can totally respect that. We all have the right to choose how we want to look and what we want to do with our bodies, and we all deserve to love ourselves and be treated with respect regardless of body size.

If you feel better/happier/more like yourself in a smaller body, that's your choice to make. Ultimately you have to do what makes you happy without worrying too much about what other people are going to think about it. Your personal choices don't have to be a reflection of your thoughts about another person's lifestyle, and I don't think it's anti-anything to want to be what you feel is the best version of yourself.

:flowerforyou:

You really are one of my favorite MFP members. This is a prime example of why.

Aww! I think you're pretty great too! :flowerforyou:

bump

Okay I think I'm going to be the bad guy here, but know that this is coming from a former "fat-acceptance" advocate and a still currently obese individual. Fat should not be accepted. Bodies should be accepted, people should be treated like people regardless of how skinny, fat, old, young, etc. that they may be, and nobody should be put down or hurt by another person for their bodies, but obesity is not something that should be accepted in my opinion. I am the fabled "healthy" obese person. All of my lab works come up beautifully, so much so that it is puzzling to doctors. This is almost assuredly not to remain the case as I get older, and even though I'm healthy, my joints already creak and pop and moan at me for having to bear this extra weight that I have so long "accepted." The human body was not designed to hold my current weight. But alas, I digress.

Can you be fat-accepting and desire to lose weight? I don't really think so. It seems that you are not accepting fat on you, and so you're not accepting fat. You are choosing to love your friends and treat them the same regardless, which is what you absolutely should do, but I don't know about continuing to be fat-accepting. However, this is all relative.

Anywho, OP, I'm done with my little novel. One last bit of advice, when you want to bold or italicize something use brackets [ ] instead of < > :flowerforyou:

On fat acceptance... (read the whole thing before yelling at me please)

I accept that having some level of fat above normal isn't a horrible thing.

I accept that the morbidly obese are causing undue stress on their bodies and hurting themselves, but only themselves and their families.

I accept that the morbidly obese are more likely to teach their children how to be morbidly obese through "leading by example".

I accept the the morbidly obese are usually slower and harder to get around when you are in a hurry. (Fortunately, most morbidly obese people understand their girth and do what they can to stay out of the way when they can. I like and accept those people.)

I accept that "big girls need lovin' too", but probably not from me. Too much girth gets in the way of proper love making IMO.

I accept that you can wear whatever you want to wear, but don't expect me to find you attractive if you look like an overstuffed sausage casing.

........................................

And I accept that you probably want to lose weight but can't seem to get it going.

I accept that its really, REALLY not easy to try and fail. I've been there and I'm still failing. I'm just succeeding more than I used to when I started. Everybody fails. You just have to keep failing until you succeed.

I accept that if I were to walk up to you on the street and mention your weight and try to help it would sound like I'm fat shaming you, when I'm only trying to clumsily do what I can to make you happier with yourself.

I accept that if you ask me how I've been losing weight I'll do my absolute best to help you without embarrassing you, but I get really excited about this stuff, so stop me if I get overzealous.

..............

I accepted that I was fat.

I accept that I'm still fat, but I'm working towards not being there anymore because it's unhealthy. I also want to look attractive in my underwear.

I accepted that it was unhealthy, unattractive, in the way, and wore ill fitting clothing.

I accepted that I needed to do something about it because I was unhappy with myself.

I accepted that I would fail again and again until I finally got it right, then failed again but kept on going.

I accepted that I would get progressively better day by day.

I accepted myself for what I had become, took ownership of what I am and took control of my own body again.

.............

Can you accept yourself for what you are, accept that you need to change for yourself and your family and seek the help you need from the people who have already accepted themselves and took control and ownership of their own bodies?