orthorexia/anorexia self-recovery help

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  • splixi
    splixi Posts: 86 Member
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    I found a lot of relief with the (free) "No S Diet". No tracking calories, no snacking, no sweets (trigger foods), no seconds. You eat three meals a day. Then on "Yes S Days" (Sat/Sun) you can snack, eat sweets, and take seconds, and those days are super hard, much like what you are going through now. Not having limits, is hard. So check out this diet, it's called a diet, but it's really a normal, healthy eating way of life. I feel so much more normal about food now, I don't obsess anymore, and I only overeat on the weekends, which I'm working on trying not to do.

    Personally I think that it has too many rules- and ED's thrive on rules and restrictions....
    The main goal in ED recovery is to learn to recognise your hunger cues and eat accordingly. And in the process for example if someone offers you a piece of chocolate and you feel like you are upto it on that day you wouldn't want to be saying to yourself "well I can't have it because today is a "No S Diet"
    This diet still seems to follow some degree of disordered eating... if I was to tell my doctor "no I can't eat that today because it is Tuesday" I know right now that the first thing a counsellor would try to get me to do is challenge that rule...
  • leilaphoenix
    leilaphoenix Posts: 839 Member
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    I think you need to get some professional help. An eating disorder is a serious condition and you need some help to reset your way of thinking.

    Perhaps you could try adding things slowly back into your diet. If you are craving chocolate/fat/ice cream it is probably because you are getting no sugar or fat in your diet. These are important. If you don't have any then have a huge binge then you might want to put a bit of sugar and fat into your diet to help to be more healthy.

    Why not try up-ing to say 1200 calories a day, and adding one new item into your diet. Do this for a few weeks, see that you haven't transformed into a 20 stone beast, and then add another 100 calories and a new item. How about milk?

    3000 calories is not healthy, but neither is 700.
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    Personally I think that it has too many rules- and ED's thrive on rules and restrictions....
    The main goal in ED recovery is to learn to recognise your hunger cues and eat accordingly. And in the process for example if someone offers you a piece of chocolate and you feel like you are upto it on that day you wouldn't want to be saying to yourself "well I can't have it because today is a "No S Diet"
    This diet still seems to follow some degree of disordered eating... if I was to tell my doctor "no I can't eat that today because it is Tuesday" I know right now that the first thing a counsellor would try to get me to do is challenge that rule...

    I completely agree. The challenge for someone recovering from an ED is to learn how to listen to hunger cues from your body and eat according to those cues, not any outside set of rules or restrictions. Swapping one set of diet rules for another won't help change the way you think about food.

    Since you're dealing with some orthorexia, I'd suggest trying to expand your definition of "safe" foods. In the long term, you'll need to move away from thinking about good vs. bad foods, but in the short term you need to get more calories in without triggering the disease. (The danger for me has always been that it will come roaring back in a few days and cause me to further restrict what I can eat, but that may not be the case for you).

    My first thought was to try adding fat to your meals, since you're craving peanut butter/ice cream. What about adding some olive oil when you cook your meat, or adding avocado or yogurt to your veggies? Milk would be a good idea too.
  • Maridar
    Maridar Posts: 164 Member
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    it is a very serious issue that may lead to lethal outcome. A good friend of mine survived anorexia and wrote a book about it, Voluntary Starvation by Jane Wood. I read it and would recommend it.
  • hungrygirl325
    hungrygirl325 Posts: 9 Member
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    I didn't see all of your responses until now, but thank you all for your feedback.

    I guess I knew deep inside that I need to see a doctor, especially now that my body and mind are going crazier than ever. I have a doctor appointment in about 2 weeks so I will tell her what I've been going through.

    Again thank you everyone who responded and took the time to give some advice. It means so much to me that people are here for each other and genuinely want to help people.
  • sarafischbach9
    sarafischbach9 Posts: 466 Member
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    All I can tell you is that I have been in your situation before. When I was in recovery for my ED in 2006 ( was down to 86 lbs at the beginning at 5'3.5" ) I gradually increased my caloric intake. I was supposed to be eating 1800 calories but kept myself at 1500-1600 a day. With the increasing intake came the increased cravings. There were points where I had out of control binges that sometimes equaled to 4000 calories! And even then I had only put on a couple pounds in a day of water weight, but lost it by the next morning.

    Your body is wanting all that food because its been deprived so long.

    Now I don't know about eating 3000 in one sitting, but make sure you are eating enough at every meal throughout the day to keep yourself from binging. And allow yourself room for sweets and desserts otherwise you will binge.

    Good luck to you
  • savannahribeiro
    savannahribeiro Posts: 194 Member
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    I myself do not have any form of eating disorder, but:
    I have read that a.nervosa is a mental disorder. Please do not take this offensively, it is not meant to be mean or hurtful, but maybe seek out a psychiatrist to discuss these thoughts you're having. I suffered from anxiety and depression when I was about 14 or 15, and I thought going to a psych meant I was freak. It actually really really helped me to let it out and discuss with someone. The root of most eating disorders is mental; trust me on this, talking to a psychatrist will definitely help.




    Good luck, babe! You can beat this :)
  • chelle610
    chelle610 Posts: 4 Member
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    Before you pay attention to anyone's responses, talk to your doctor. They can assess your current health and help you determine what and how much you should be eating as well as recommending counseling, which is key. Knowing you are making choices based on professional advice will put your mind at ease, too. I was also a former anorexic and tried to recover without a doctor or counseling. The physical recovery was slower and messier than it could have been, but worse, and the emotional issues manifested in even more dangerous ways. I don't want you to go through that.
  • Fizzy2177
    Fizzy2177 Posts: 2
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    Recovery is a slow process. I was bulimic for 13 years. Take it one day at a time.
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    Consider asking for a referral to a eating disorder clinic (dependent on country, health insurance, etc). Many ED clinics have multidisciplinary teams w/ medical doctors/nurses, psychologists, psychiatrists, nutritionists, etc. they also can have varied level of care depending on the depths of the eating issues, medical complications, place in recovery. Care can range from inpatient, to intensive outpatient, to even weekly or less. Consider a multidisciplinary perspective. Talk to your doctor about your concerns.

    Edit: darn autocorrect

    Seconding thing. No matter how much you think you can control your recovery, without professional help, you run the risk of forever backsliding into old habits, physically or mentally.
  • frodopuppy
    frodopuppy Posts: 75
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    having suffered from eating disorders for years and controlled my for over 25 I realized that eating small amounts of any food I choose is the best thing for me. also I do step on the scale every day even though some people tell you not too. this way I don.t eat to little either. even if the mirror shows you different, a low number on the scale should tell you theirs a problem and your not seeing things correctly. I wish you luck and this is just my view on things. I hope you get the help you need its a terribly way to waste a life worth living.
  • JenRunTriHappyGirl
    JenRunTriHappyGirl Posts: 521 Member
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    I am guessing that the junk food cravings have more to do with your body needing fat.... so maybe try substituting the junk food with healthy fats..... avacado, nuts, stuff like that. But more importantly, eat when you can and want to. And maybe see a nutritionist if your Dr is not helping. Good luck!
  • bingefreeaubree
    bingefreeaubree Posts: 220 Member
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    Thank you. I'm not going to lie, that post was a little triggering for me and made me feel guilty but yes you're right, a lot of patients go on 3,000 calories. Which is why I'm a little anxious because I've already eaten 3,000 calories and I know I still have dinner tonight. I keep telling myself that I will do better to space out my meals the next day, but for some odd reason I just can't resist anymore.

    I'm seeing my doctor later this month so hopefully this time I can come clean to her and tell her what's really on my mind.
    I had a problem similar to yours in high school and I was told to eat 2800 calories per day to gain, so I'm just seconding that the 1500-2000 calories per day is wayy off. Even eating 2800 calories per day to gain, the gain was pretty slow and very healthy.
    Don't worry about eating more than 3000 calories today. Try to just forget about calories. I know you'll still be thinking abuot them in the back of your mind, but calories shouldn't control you and bring guilt and worry if you go over a certain number. When I saw a dietitian she was hesitant to tell me how many calories she wanted me to eat because she didn't want me to feel bad if I ever ate more. If you eat 500 calories more at dinner, it really won't make any difference. Every person on this website who's trying to lose weight has had a day where they eat 500 calories over maintenance and nothing bad happens. It's the same with gaining weight. If you stick to near 3000 other days, one day of 3500 is absolutely A-okay. Try not to fret about it.
    It's great that you're finally going to talk about this with your doctor though. I highly suggest seeing a dietitian who specializes in eating disorders, as regular dietitians sometimes are not as well educated in how to work with people suffering from an ED. Same thing goes with a psychiatrist. Until I found a psychiatrist that knew about eating disorders specifically, nothing got better for me mentally.
  • freddi11e
    freddi11e Posts: 317 Member
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    bump
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
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    hello there.
    currently in treatment for anorexia nervosa. i too find it very hard to balance what i eat. i either restrict or end up eating a bunch and feel like i can't stop, i think because of the deprevation i have done to my body over the years.
    plan ahead of time what you will eat. slowly introduce those fear foods, and make mini goals for yourself. if i plan my day ahead of time it helps me stay on track than just eating whatever by impulse. idk if that makes any sense.
    try to find calorie dense foods and eat small portions of them. try to drink a lottttt of water too to help fill you up and keep away from wanting to non stop binge.
    have you ever tried eating disorders annonymous? they have in person, phone and online meetings and can be very helpful. i am currently in a research study for anorexia through ny presbyterian so my treatment is free. maybe something like that would benefit you? feel free to add me (just add a message or i will be like deny!) if you would like support
  • chancepatrick
    chancepatrick Posts: 4
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    I am a counselor, as well as a person with eating disorders. In order to actually be able to eat the way you are supposed to, it will be scary for quite a while. Eating disorders aren't usually about the food we eat, it is a way to gain control of a life that is out of control. Most people notice that they binge and purge, overeat or restrict the most when they are undergoing extreme stress or trauma. Take it slow, try to heal the internal illness prior to working on the food issue. When you look at the number 3000, that's huge and like you said, you fear gaining the weight and getting out of control. Look at the food you eat, enjoy it and the time you take to eat it. That is time for you to relax and get your thoughts in order. Eat until you feel full. Try drinking water when you feel you are going to binge. The more you stress about changing, the more difficult it is to change. It can get overwhelming but you can do it. Just by talking to others, you are making a huge step towards healing yourself. I am available if you ever need support. :flowerforyou:
  • Mariahuszovszky
    Mariahuszovszky Posts: 1
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    Well, this website basically says there's no such thing as eating too much in recovery, your body simply needs food to repair the damage caused by anorexia.
    http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2012/5/22/extreme-hunger-what-is-it.html
    http://www.youreatopia.com/blog/2013/3/31/minniemaud-guidelines-for-recovery-from-a-restrictive-eating.html
  • shartran
    shartran Posts: 304 Member
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    Consider asking for a referral to a eating disorder clinic (dependent on country, health insurance, etc). Many ED clinics have multidisciplinary teams w/ medical doctors/nurses, psychologists, psychiatrists, nutritionists, etc. they also can have varied level of care depending on the depths of the eating issues, medical complications, place in recovery. Care can range from inpatient, to intensive outpatient, to even weekly or less. Consider a multidisciplinary perspective. Talk to your doctor about your concerns.

    Edit: darn autocorrect

    I agree. I was hospitalized last year and the last part of my 'recovery' was to go to an 'out patient' program where there was access to doctors (that specialized in ED), dieticians, etc., There were daily psychological-type group sessions where the group went through questions and concerns. Was helpful to hear others in the same boat.
    Anyways, seek out some help for yourself. It's pretty hard to do this by yourself.
    p.s. most gp doctors don't know the first thing about ED! Just go there for a referral to an ED program! Not advice...
  • treasuremapper
    treasuremapper Posts: 4 Member
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    You are on the right path, and you are changing your life for the better. I suggest you sign up for health insurance, if you have not done so already, either on your parents' plan or on your own through healthcare.gov. My friends have been surprised at how inexpensive good health insurance can be. Then take the next step and go see the doctor and ask for referrals to the approriate specialists. You are already on the road towards healing yourself. You can create a situation where you have great support.
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    See a professional.

    Don't worry about trying to stick to lean meats. You need healthy animal and vegetable fats right now. :flowerforyou:

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