Ladies, need advice talking to my gf about the gym

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ChuckgM3
ChuckgM3 Posts: 302 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
So my gf has been "inspired" by my recent weight loss and says she wants to lose weight too... The problem is she is at a healthy weight already and I don't think she eats enough as it is. She could use some toning around her mid section and thighs (its not bad but she complains about them all the time) but her bmi is about 20. I've tried talking to her about going to the gym but she doesn't want to hear it, she thinks the answer is just to diet more. I don't think she has an eating disorder but I do think she has an unhealthy attitude towards dieting vs working out.

I know that weight is a sensitive issue for all women of all weight, so I know to tread lightly here, but I'm not sure how to tactfully talk to her about giving the gym a try and to actually eat more in order to get her body where she wants it.

Help?

Replies

  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
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    Do you know one of her girlfriends who you may conspire with? Maybe hearing it from her gal pals would make a difference. It's a tough one for sure, so your sensitivity to her feelings is sweet.
  • keysr
    keysr Posts: 19
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    Well you could try and go to the gym together, that helped me in the beginning, having someone to come with me because I was self-conscious. Also, tell her the benefits about going to the gym, it makes you feel better and speeds up metabolism. If you just diet and don't work out, then you are losing fat AND muscle, which is bad. Working out gives people more energy. Plus there are TONS of different types of workouts. Dance classes (Zumba is great), yoga or pilates, running, which don't add muscle bulk, which might be a concern for her, and you don't have to go to an actual gym for that. Some of these activities are like secret work outs, when you are doing something you are enjoying and don't have to think to much about and you don't think you are working out but actually are, you are more likely to keep doing that activity.

    Good luck!
  • JenniferH81
    JenniferH81 Posts: 285 Member
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    I'd just point her here. Have her start logging her foods and hopefully she will realize that her body NEEDS calories to burn any.
  • sblowes
    sblowes Posts: 66 Member
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    Tom Venuto has a good explanation how low calorie dieting normally triggers the body's natural defenses, and makes it want to hoard fat (because it thinks it's not going to get any more). Exercise, on the other hand, triggers the body's natural desire to hoard muscle mass (because it knows it's going to need it) and burn fat instead.

    http://bit.ly/cjXWL3
  • CGerman
    CGerman Posts: 539
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    I know I keep myself motivated to exercise by thinking about being skinny and flabby - not a good combination. Tell her yes, she could lose weight just "dieting", but if she adds in some workouts at the gym she'll tone up and look (not to mention feel) amazing. Is she competitive at all? You could make a fun callenge out of who can go longer on the elliptical or something to get her interested - odds are once she tries it and realizes you really do feel better she'd want to keep it up herself.
    It's sweet you're trying to be sensitive to what's usually a touchy subject for us women :smile:
  • trayjay
    trayjay Posts: 5
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    Having great health is a more than a good reason to engage in exercise!! More muscle than fat on your body speeds up ones metabolism, makes your heart healthy, gives you MORE energy... not to mention you look great with a hard body. ALL of that is great for a couples sex life.... who needs more encouragement!!

    On a second note, exercising makes you feel good inside. It's creates endorphins that make a person happier... much better than drugs or alcohol.

    Invite your girlfriend to come to the gym with you.... let her start slow AND whatever you do.... don't criticize her. If she needs help with a program, get one of the gym trainers to set her up with a program that will target the areas she needs to tone. Make it an enjoyable date night with extra special treatment for her and how could she NOT resist going to the gym with you!!!!

    Good luck!
  • cc_campbell81
    cc_campbell81 Posts: 622
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    Try getting to her to do exerise with you that is fun and doesn't involve going to the gym like walking in the park, swimming, skating, or biking. Once you've gotten her to increase her physical activity maybe she'll see the benefits and you can invite her to the gym again. But do just that "invite" don't push her to go. Just keep casually inviting her and if she says no say okay and maybe occaisionally mention to her how great you feel after leaving the gym.
  • 6Janelle13
    6Janelle13 Posts: 353 Member
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    Does she dislike the gym? (i'm one of those hate the gym and work out = tourture) no matter what i did i couldn't change my mind set. now my husband and i have a quick work out dvd collection (30 day shred, core, yoga and pilates) and we do one together in the evenings. we also walk our dog for about 3 miles a day. It helped me drop 10 lbs and tone with out doing something i hated. him being there on my level was awesome and i was greatful for his change in work outs to support me. at the gym i always felt like i held him back but now we do it at home together and he says that the stretching and core foucs helps him too with out him being too girly.(yeppers that is what my hubby says- sorry folks). ask her if she wants to try working out together at home so you can get some variety in your work out without feeling silly at the gym? that way she's "doing it for you" and less likely to be offended.
  • fitnesspirateninja
    fitnesspirateninja Posts: 667 Member
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    I think talking about how much better you feel (more energy, better mood, etc...). That was it isn't an issue of weight loss - obviously, she can lose weight with dieting alone. Being able to regulate my mood and energy level is a huge reason why I exercise. I feel so much better! It's pretty amazing.

    Also, maybe she's not interested in going to the gym. I hate going to the gym. She can still take walks, or start running, or join one of those boot camps or an outdoor fitness class. She could use the Wii Fit or EA Active. She could go to Zumba without joining a gym, or join an adult sports team. Maybe you can peak her interest in working out by leaving the gym out of it. I know I wouldn't be interested in coming to the gym with my husband, but I would love to go for a nice long hike in the woods with him.
  • MzBug
    MzBug Posts: 2,173 Member
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    I have the same problem, but on the other foot! I am losing weight and exercising, my guy doesn't need to lose weight, but he does need to do some exercise or that will change. He got a promotion and is now more sedentary than he was before, and is snacking at his desk...... He can be touchy about the subject of his little belly. I bought a Wii and have gotten him off the couch for an hour or two 4-5 times a week. Last night he discovered the frizbee golf and had me up till 5am playing! It may not be an ideal soloution, but it is something!

    Maybe when I get to the point of feeling confident enough to go to a gym (maybe in another 50 pounds lost) he will go with me.
  • ChuckgM3
    ChuckgM3 Posts: 302 Member
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    Thanks girls (and guys) for the input, I'll try and talk to her about it this week.
  • shannonichole
    shannonichole Posts: 126
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    Try getting to her to do exerise with you that is fun and doesn't involve going to the gym like walking in the park, swimming, skating, or biking. Once you've gotten her to increase her physical activity maybe she'll see the benefits and you can invite her to the gym again. But do just that "invite" don't push her to go. Just keep casually inviting her and if she says no say okay and maybe occaisionally mention to her how great you feel after leaving the gym.

    That sounds like a good idea! You can go on "active" dates. Go canoeing or for a bike ride around a park. Maybe try eating at "healthy" restaurants to demonstrate that you can still eat, but do it healthy. Eventually you can ask her to accompany you to the gym and maybe do a class together. Learn to salsa dance, partner yoga, or rock climbing. Just make it fun!

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