Jealous of spouses extra available calories

ZForce915
ZForce915 Posts: 23
in Health and Weight Loss
My wife and I have both set out to lose some weight this year and we're both good about supporting each other, but my daily calorie goal is 500 more than hers. Naturally she understands that I need more food than she does but it's still frustrating for her at the end of the day when sitting down to watch a show and I have the calories for a snack and she doesn't.

Any tips for getting around this? Sometimes I just forgo the snack and leave 500 calories on the table at the end of the night but I don't want to always do that.
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Replies

  • turtleball
    turtleball Posts: 217 Member
    Well you dont have to ditch the food, as long as you guys are both feeling better and healthy.
  • ladynocturne
    ladynocturne Posts: 865 Member
    She'll get over it. Most of us gals are in the same situation. If she wants to eat a snack at night, it's completely up to her to budget her calories in order to do so.

    She can either eat less during the day or hit the gym hard, or a combo of both. Otherwise I'd say she doesn't want to snack at night badly enough. It isn't your fault.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Jealous? Is she 12?
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    I am jealous of everyone's extra calories. I want them all.
  • vjohn04
    vjohn04 Posts: 2,276 Member
    Jealous? Is she 12?

    I am 12.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Jealous? Is she 12?

    Omg THIS.. My boyfriend gets twice as many calories per day (I have 1650 and he has 3200), as he is bulking. It does not bother me one bit, I just feed him more food. :laugh:
  • ZForce915
    ZForce915 Posts: 23
    I know she will get over it, but I want to be supportive because it's really hard at first to get back into healthy eating habits.
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
    I eat over 1000/day more than my wife. I eat more breakfast. I eat more lunch. I eat more dinner. I eat more snacks. So it goes. You have your goals and she has hers. She's a big girl and should be able to deal with a larger man eating more food.
  • ZForce915
    ZForce915 Posts: 23
    Jealous? Is she 12?

    No, just hungry.
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    Make it 500 calories of something she despises. My wife hates beer, therefore....

    BEER FOR ME!!!
  • Codilee87
    Codilee87 Posts: 509 Member
    My husband is 6'4 with the metabolism of a racehorse. His only complaint is that he hasn't gained weight since he was 18. It certainly is frustrating when he eats bacon and 4 slices of bread with every meal, has a huge bowl of greasy popcorn every night and snacks on chips, soda and cookies throughout the day but never gains an ounce. All while I am strictly following my 1400-1500 calorie a day plan...
  • ZForce915
    ZForce915 Posts: 23
    The purpose of this topic was to try to find ways to be more supportive. Let's keep the responses in that frame of mind.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Jealous? Is she 12?

    No, just hungry.

    Then she needs more protein, vegetables, fruits, and other filling foods so she won't be jealous of yours.
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
    The purpose of this topic was to try to find ways to be more supportive. Let's keep the responses in that frame of mind.

    I assume you eat separate lunches? Eat a bigger lunch and get your extra calories there.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    give her smaller portions during the day and she can join you in the snacking to, with a smaller version of the same thing.
  • twoaugustgirls
    twoaugustgirls Posts: 20 Member
    Can you eat in the kitchen or another room, or while she is upstairs doing something else? That way she does not have to see it. It may get easier for her. My husband does not diet and eats like crap all the time, and it does suck.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    woah? back up,,,,you sit together at the end of the night, and you have a snack and she does not???
    frickin HILARIOUS!
    i may have kicked you to the curn before i even met ya.
    she still can..
    hope she reads this
  • viglet
    viglet Posts: 299 Member
    Jealous? Is she 12?

    No, just hungry.


    We are all freaking damn hungry man.... especially me.

    My husband is 6'4 and I am 5'2. He could almost eat my calories for bfast. Honestly, I got over it, but in the beginning I wanted to punch him in the face (not literally obviously).

    I think it is very sweet and kind of you for caring. It honestly shows your love for her. So yes, as most people said, she will most likely get over it, but if you want to be extra supportive, try and eat some of your "treat cals" in the morning or when she isn't around.
  • jessdholmes
    jessdholmes Posts: 1
    My husband and I are in the same situation as well. He laments the number of calories he still needs to eat at the end of the day while I am wishing I had that problem! I would suggest trying to eat more of your calories during the day when you are apart and take part in a healthy snack that fits into both of your caloric budgets when you are together. She could also try to find small ways to cut a few extra calories from her daily meals (or exercise a bit more) to allow for this indulgence at night. Good luck!
  • aliencheesecake
    aliencheesecake Posts: 569 Member
    I know she will get over it, but I want to be supportive because it's really hard at first to get back into healthy eating habits.

    It IS hard, and while "jealous" may not be the right word, I understand how she feels. My hubby doesn't watch what he eats at all, and the dinner I make him is the healthiest thing he eats all day. And at night, when my thoughts are consumed by what and how much I can eat and TRY not to be hungry at bedtime, he eats whatever he wants... I get very grumpy when I'm hungry, and I understand how it feels to watch someone eat when you want so badly to eat yourself. THAT SAID, I eat if I'm hungry. It takes me longer to lose these last few pounds, but I don't like being hungry. In the end, there's not much either of you can do but deal with it... either she can exercise more, stock calories for the evening, or just deal with it and eat a small snack. It's not either of your "faults" really. Just how things are. :/
  • Amber82479
    Amber82479 Posts: 629 Member
    Increase your calorie intake at each meal. That way you're not under calories and not snacking at night while she can't. Or, she could decrease her calories at each meal so that she has calories left over to share an evening snack with you.
  • worm5996
    worm5996 Posts: 28 Member
    Is it that she is jealous? Or is it that you feel guilty having that snack in front of her?

    My DH has almost a thousand more calories a day than me. Quite often he has more calories at the end of the day. I just deal with MY calories and let him deal with his. If you feel guilty or she is getting jealous then how about having your snack somewhere other than where your wife is? That is really the only compromise you can make. If she wants more calories to eat then she will need to work out for more calories. You can't change what is.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
    can't…be…serious...
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I'm pretty much in the same boat as eveyrone else. Being jealous doesn't solve anything. If she's THAT hungry maybe she's trying to cut her calories TOO much and needs to adjust her goals a little. She'll probably also be jealous when you start losing faster than her becuase that's another inevitablility when it comes to gender differences. Ever see those Slim Quick commercials with the cartoon couple? You have a lot more testosterone and therefore more muscle mass which means you not only need more calories to eat but that you'll also naturally burn more calories (about 30% more if memory serves). It's just a fact of life.

    The only solution I could come up with is for you to have your snacks earlier in the day to spare her from witnessing you eating more than her. You definitely shouldn't go without those extra calories!! That's totally going to extremes...
  • Shuuma
    Shuuma Posts: 465 Member
    Well, I am of the opinion that shared experience = empathy = support. :smile:

    Perhaps eating more calories during the day when you aren't sitting together so you can forego the snack would be a start? Maybe even finding ways to help her budget a few 100 extra calories for the end of her day so you both could share some popcorn? Maybe suggest an after dinner walk together (weather permitting) that will give her budget enough calories for a snack?

    What it really comes down to is if eating in front of her causes her distress and you don't want to distress her, adjust your own snacking to accommodate that need. Whether it is having your snack in the garage out of her line of vision or helping her find enough calories to share in her own munchies is up to you.

    Good luck!
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Encourage her to go for a walk or something to earn some extra calories so you can snack on some popcorn together?
    Perhaps you can eat something more caloric dense, while she has something that's less calories, like fresh strawberries?
  • faely
    faely Posts: 144 Member
    If she wants to join you in snacking at night she only needs to budget her calories during the day so she can. Is she truly 'hungry' when you can snack, or is she just wanting food because you have it? There's a difference.
  • WDEvy
    WDEvy Posts: 814 Member
    It sucks but it's life. My husband gets almost 1000 more than me.
  • aliencheesecake
    aliencheesecake Posts: 569 Member
    Jealous? Is she 12?

    No, just hungry.

    Then she needs more protein, vegetables, fruits, and other filling foods so she won't be jealous of yours.

    No offense to you personally, but a lot of ppl always seem to know the answer for everyone else. Not "suggest." KNOW.
    I had dinner last night with 33 g of protein... Beans, chicken, brown rice, salsa...

    My protein totaled out at about 105 g for the day.....I also hit my fat macros. YET I was still hungry 2 hours after dinner. Not every body is the same. I feel for his wife, because although, as mentioned by someone else, "everyone" is hungry, some ppl can deal with it, and there are varying degrees of hunger. As a person who can not deal with being hungry (I can't sleep and I get really *****y) I feel for her.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    eat all your foodz during the day ...no snacking.

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