Jealous of spouses extra available calories

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  • Amber82479
    Amber82479 Posts: 629 Member
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    Increase your calorie intake at each meal. That way you're not under calories and not snacking at night while she can't. Or, she could decrease her calories at each meal so that she has calories left over to share an evening snack with you.
  • worm5996
    worm5996 Posts: 28 Member
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    Is it that she is jealous? Or is it that you feel guilty having that snack in front of her?

    My DH has almost a thousand more calories a day than me. Quite often he has more calories at the end of the day. I just deal with MY calories and let him deal with his. If you feel guilty or she is getting jealous then how about having your snack somewhere other than where your wife is? That is really the only compromise you can make. If she wants more calories to eat then she will need to work out for more calories. You can't change what is.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
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    can't…be…serious...
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    I'm pretty much in the same boat as eveyrone else. Being jealous doesn't solve anything. If she's THAT hungry maybe she's trying to cut her calories TOO much and needs to adjust her goals a little. She'll probably also be jealous when you start losing faster than her becuase that's another inevitablility when it comes to gender differences. Ever see those Slim Quick commercials with the cartoon couple? You have a lot more testosterone and therefore more muscle mass which means you not only need more calories to eat but that you'll also naturally burn more calories (about 30% more if memory serves). It's just a fact of life.

    The only solution I could come up with is for you to have your snacks earlier in the day to spare her from witnessing you eating more than her. You definitely shouldn't go without those extra calories!! That's totally going to extremes...
  • Shuuma
    Shuuma Posts: 465 Member
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    Well, I am of the opinion that shared experience = empathy = support. :smile:

    Perhaps eating more calories during the day when you aren't sitting together so you can forego the snack would be a start? Maybe even finding ways to help her budget a few 100 extra calories for the end of her day so you both could share some popcorn? Maybe suggest an after dinner walk together (weather permitting) that will give her budget enough calories for a snack?

    What it really comes down to is if eating in front of her causes her distress and you don't want to distress her, adjust your own snacking to accommodate that need. Whether it is having your snack in the garage out of her line of vision or helping her find enough calories to share in her own munchies is up to you.

    Good luck!
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
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    Encourage her to go for a walk or something to earn some extra calories so you can snack on some popcorn together?
    Perhaps you can eat something more caloric dense, while she has something that's less calories, like fresh strawberries?
  • faely
    faely Posts: 144 Member
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    If she wants to join you in snacking at night she only needs to budget her calories during the day so she can. Is she truly 'hungry' when you can snack, or is she just wanting food because you have it? There's a difference.
  • WDEvy
    WDEvy Posts: 814 Member
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    It sucks but it's life. My husband gets almost 1000 more than me.
  • aliencheesecake
    aliencheesecake Posts: 570 Member
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    Jealous? Is she 12?

    No, just hungry.

    Then she needs more protein, vegetables, fruits, and other filling foods so she won't be jealous of yours.

    No offense to you personally, but a lot of ppl always seem to know the answer for everyone else. Not "suggest." KNOW.
    I had dinner last night with 33 g of protein... Beans, chicken, brown rice, salsa...

    My protein totaled out at about 105 g for the day.....I also hit my fat macros. YET I was still hungry 2 hours after dinner. Not every body is the same. I feel for his wife, because although, as mentioned by someone else, "everyone" is hungry, some ppl can deal with it, and there are varying degrees of hunger. As a person who can not deal with being hungry (I can't sleep and I get really *****y) I feel for her.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    eat all your foodz during the day ...no snacking.
  • mteague277
    mteague277 Posts: 145 Member
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    Have her work out so she can have a snack too.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
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    Jealous? Is she 12?

    No, just hungry.

    Then she needs more protein, vegetables, fruits, and other filling foods so she won't be jealous of yours.

    No offense to you personally, but a lot of ppl always seem to know the answer for everyone else. Not "suggest." KNOW.
    I had dinner last night with 33 g of protein... Beans, chicken, brown rice, salsa...

    My protein totaled out at about 105 g for the day.....I also hit my fat macros. YET I was still hungry 2 hours after dinner. Not every body is the same. I feel for his wife, because although, as mentioned by someone else, "everyone" is hungry, some ppl can deal with it, and there are varying degrees of hunger. As a person who can not deal with being hungry (I can't sleep and I get really *****y) I feel for her.

    you did not eat enough protein...
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
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    only in America would a late night snack piss of a spouse…wow #firstworldproblems...
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
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    If you would eat foods which are triggers for her I can understand. If she can't resist them right now, then just don't eat them when she is around, but to her it is also to understand why she wants to lose weight, eating the same as you do will not help her and she can't expect everyone goes on the same diet with her, that's just to accept. I can sit next to my husband when he is eating crisps. I like crisps as well, but I just don't touch, even if he would allow me to, because I know they will make me gain.
  • KnM0107
    KnM0107 Posts: 355 Member
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    My husband eats 1000 cals more than me daily... I still have my snacks and he has his. We are grown ups and we are each responsible for ourselves. I don't get the whole jealousy thing.
  • ribbismom
    ribbismom Posts: 13 Member
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    Very sweet of you to be so considerate of your wife's feelings. I am sure she's having a hard time adjusting to this new lifestyle. While she gets used to things, perhaps you could eat your "extra" calories when she is busy doing something else instead of munching on a snack when you are sitting together on the couch. Have a quick nibble in the kitchen or something instead. Or hand her a glass of water or tea and drink some of your calories at the same time? Good luck.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
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    Jealous? Is she 12?

    No, just hungry.

    Then she needs more protein, vegetables, fruits, and other filling foods so she won't be jealous of yours.

    No offense to you personally, but a lot of ppl always seem to know the answer for everyone else. Not "suggest." KNOW.
    I had dinner last night with 33 g of protein... Beans, chicken, brown rice, salsa...

    My protein totaled out at about 105 g for the day.....I also hit my fat macros. YET I was still hungry 2 hours after dinner. Not every body is the same. I feel for his wife, because although, as mentioned by someone else, "everyone" is hungry, some ppl can deal with it, and there are varying degrees of hunger. As a person who can not deal with being hungry (I can't sleep and I get really *****y) I feel for her.

    Would now be one of those times?
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,139 Member
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    as a side note, we know who wears the pants in this family…!
  • janicebinva
    janicebinva Posts: 99 Member
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    Maybe she could snack on something she enjoys but is more or less "free"? Like perhaps baby carrots or some other plain veggie, just so she's crunching on something at the same time as you are? I happen to enjoy the baby carrots, and also sugar snap peas. Maybe she can find something like that that works for her. I can eat a good amount of plain raw veggies for under 50 calories. Hopefully she could save that many calories so she could join you in snacking after dinner.

    Other ideas: she could sip some plain tea (perhaps sleepytime tea if it's later in the evening), so she at least has something to "have" while you snack.

    For your part, depending on what you like for snacks, you could at least keep to things without a strong aroma that would drive her crazy. Or just ask her which are the most difficult snacks for her to watch someone else eat, and see if there's something else that would make you happy when you snack in front of her.
  • hojoni8406
    hojoni8406 Posts: 6 Member
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    I would think she could have a snack right along with you, just make it a low calorie healthy choice or smaller portion size than you may be having. At least she is still able to indulge and enjoy the "treat" with you and you with her. If you have 500 calories left and decide to have a bag of popcorn, it doesn't mean she cant have any, maybe she gets a cup. It will help alleviate the want.

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