Back Again

I know all about back-sliding. I used to have such a high metabolism I could eat anything and stay within about 5 lbs of my desired weight, but then I hit middle age. Since age 33 or so, I have climbed 15, 20, 30 lbs, lost 10, gained 15, lost 25, gained 30, lost 10, gained 15, till I topped out at about 206 (I didn't have the heart to actually weigh myself, but I know it was between 205 and 211.) I disgusted myself every time I caught sight of myself in a mirror, and trying on clothes almost made me cry.
I decided to make small changes over a long period of time to improve my health and my self-esteem. At the end of August I began cutting out white flour from my diet. I don't mean I cut it out in a day. I began cutting the easiest things. No white bread sandwiches (in fact those little deli-round sandwich breads are the greatest, almost the only thing I use now), fewer cookies or cakes, bicuits only very seldom, and so on. Then I cut out a few simple sugars, like jelly at breakfast and went back to fat-free milk instead of chocolate. Little changes like that actually took off the first 8-9 lbs! When I wasn't losing anymore with those changes, I added a 30 minute brisk walk 5 days a week. When I'd lost another 8 lbs and the losing slowed, I added another 10 minutes to the walk time and increased the spead a little, and I joined this site. In a week I have lost another 2 lbs! I love the journals, they keep me motivated, and even more importantly, they keep me honest. By logging everything I eat, it makes me stop and think whether I really need this food, or is it just a passing craving. Occassionally I acknowledge it is just a craving, but if the calories aren't going to take me over for the day, I eat it anyway. I know myself well enough to know deprivation doesn't work. If I can still fit peanut butter, a little chocolate, and the occassional chips into my diet, I can succeed.
Sorry this was such a long post, but I think I needed to get my philosophy out there in order to make it valid somehow. I really want to remain committed to this for life, and maybe a community like this will help me do that. As a nurse, I applaud everyone who is working toward a healthier lifestyle, and I hope I can be as supportive of all of you as you are being of me.