ideas for motivating my significant other?

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serena22289
serena22289 Posts: 36 Member
in Motivation and Support
So my boyfriend whom I live with says he wants to lose weight and get healthier so I introduced him to this site and had him start taking vitamins and having gnc lean shakes, since they were working so well for me. He stayed on track for a week, eating really healthy, keeping track of food and such and he saw some weight loss even after this short time period but that weekend was his birthday so he gained everything back (really bad timing). I keep telling him that it's not just gonna consistently come off, it's gonna be hard and a constant battle but I feel like he's just given up and doesn't think it's possible. He works two jobs so he doesn't really have time or energy to go to the gym. I suggested that we go for walks or bike rides on his shorter days of work and on the weekend but he doesn't seem to into it. How can I get him motivated again? I was thinking I could help him log his food, find better options at fast food places when it's impossible for him to pack a lunch (lack of groceries, late start to the day, etc) and giving him a 'reward', if you catch my drift, after he does some form of exercise or strength training. It's worked for helping him do his homework when senior-itis set in last year so why not for his health? Any other ideas though?

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  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,023 Member
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    I think you should just make healthy low cal meals for the both of you and pack his lunch for him to take to work. Ask him if he wants to go for a walk if he doesnt you do it anyway. Do your workouts and eat healthy in front of him and hopefully he will start paying more attention to what he is eating and exercise but if he doesnt then you still will both be eating healthier and he will probably lose some weight . My husband hasnt even tried to lose weight but just from me making healthier meals and him walking with me sometimes (not even once a week) he has lost 10 lbs. Good Luck
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
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    He has to want it for himself. Continue to support & love him, NEVER criticize. I have the same problem w/my hubby. As much as I love him & will help him, I can't do it for him. I am trying to take care of myself better & some of it seems to be rubbing off on him a little bit. You've done a lot already and are to be applauded.
  • carlajp18
    carlajp18 Posts: 50 Member
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    I'm speaking from experience, you can't motivate somone into making a lifelong lifestyle change. They have to make the decision on their own and then the changes will truly take place.

    But do not underestimate your influence, once you reach your weight loss goals and he sees how positive the transformation has been for you he'll probably want your advice on how to balance his responsibilities and his own fitness goals.

    For now, I think you should concentrate on keeping healthy meals and snacks on hand since he is pretty busy with school and work. Just keep working on you for now!
  • HealthyEscape
    HealthyEscape Posts: 255
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    As simple as it sounds, I use a calendar and cutesy stickers as motivation. Every day my bf works out for 30+ minutes, he gets to pick his sticker and put it on the calendar for that day. We sat down together and figured out what "rewards" we would both like to receive and how many stickers it takes to receive that reward. It was fun coming up with the rewards, from massages to movies we wanted to watch to "bedroom" items, it got us both excited to exercise. Whoever has the most stickers at the end of the month gets their reward. It's competition, guys LOVE competition and they HATE to lose :-)
  • leofink
    leofink Posts: 13 Member
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    Help him plan his shopping trips! My wife and I have three kids, two of whom have multiple activities that they must be carted to and from, and the other is a three year old boy. He is hell on wheels. We both have full time jobs.

    I used to think I did not have the time. So, finally I MADE the time. I get up at 4:15 am in order to get my workout in. We grocery shop on Sunday, the worst day EVER to go shopping, and we go with a list where we have planned all of our breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Very rarely do we have to eat out, even on nights where we have had parent/teacher conferences (we both work at schools). Have him carry a freakin' cooler with him with all of his snacks and meals in it! Don't be embarrassed. When he starts showing that weight loss, people will be asking him what he is doing to lose weight.

    Do the same thing with him so he doesn't feel alone. Eat like he does and carry your cooler, too. When you go out to eat with him, ask for no butter on anything and salad dressing on the side.

    Oh, and what a trooper with the "rewards!" lmao

    Good luck!
  • MiloBloom83
    MiloBloom83 Posts: 2,724 Member
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    First of all, he's got to want to do it for himself. Until that happens, no amount of prodding will work. That said, running or walking is the best way to firm up and drop pounds. Get him to use this site, count those calories, get some friends on here for motivation, and get after it. I didn't really get interested in getting back in shape until my wife started going to the gym and running races. She started looking great, and i got tired of standing on the sidelines with the kids and a cow bell cheering her on. Now we both race. :bigsmile:
  • serena22289
    serena22289 Posts: 36 Member
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    That calendar competition sounds like such a good idea! I will definitely have to try that out. Thanks so much!!
  • NoAdditives
    NoAdditives Posts: 4,251 Member
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    I think you should just make healthy low cal meals for the both of you and pack his lunch for him to take to work. Ask him if he wants to go for a walk if he doesnt you do it anyway. Do your workouts and eat healthy in front of him and hopefully he will start paying more attention to what he is eating and exercise but if he doesnt then you still will both be eating healthier and he will probably lose some weight . My husband hasnt even tried to lose weight but just from me making healthier meals and him walking with me sometimes (not even once a week) he has lost 10 lbs. Good Luck


    I agree. If you feel he's given up do what you can to make it easier for him. Make healthy lunches for him the night before. Cook healthy meals for him at home. Choose parking spots that are farther away from the store so you get a little walking in. And on your days off go for bike rides, walks, etc.

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