confused about how many calories I should be eating

Well BMR is how much your body needs before exercise or any activity.. so you should aim for that.. do you have to eat it? No you don't have to do anything.. can bad things happen if you don't.. Yes.
If you want to be healthier besides just weight, yes you should do some sort of exercise.. you should aim to hit your macro's everyday to get a better balanced meal plan (mfp protein level is really low too) and it will help maintain your muscle mass.. but if you create too big of a deficit no amount of protein is going to help you at that point..

Its all about trial and error.

Oookay. My BMR is around 1800 and MFP has me set to eat a around 1500.

Hey, Sorry that BMR is just a bit too high, even if you are overweight.. depending on your height/current weight your BMR is probably around 1400 (most girls starting are probably around there or less)..
Try this calculator

http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/

If you're breastfeeding (which hopefully you are for your baby's sake), you don't want too large of a calorie deficit. The article below explains more.

Do breastfeeding mothers need extra calories?
http://kellymom.com/nutrition/mothers-diet/mom-calories-fluids/

If you're unsure, discuss it with your doctor or a registered dietitian.

If you're breast feeding, you will have to include that and eat the calories too. Otherwise, you may not get the best milk production.

Ok, I didn't see the prior post. I just want to say, that I was in your same boat. It's not a failure, even though you feel that it is. Every little drop helps. The best milk is the initial milk your baby got 3days after delivery anyway. I did everything you did and I did it it with my first kid and my second kid, just can't seem to produce more than an ounce (well my second kid, I got 2 ounces) but that was it. And I felt crazy, pumping, feeding, sleeping and doing it all over again non stop. It sucked, but we do it for our babies. Supplementing isn't so bad and I did it with both kids till they were about 5 mos with breast milk and formula. And now we are strictly formula. IT's OK!!! You will feel pressure from everyone, and like me everyone will give you their two cents. But you know if your child is healthy or not and that's alllll that matters. You gave your child everything he/she needs. Everyone is different and I can tell you, you both with will be ok!!! Sorry for the rant- I just know how bad the pressure is to breastfeed exclusively.

I wanted very very much to breastfeed, and tried really hard for 3 or so weeks, but I'm one of the 1% of women who cannot physically produce enough breast milk. I saw a lactation consultant, borrowed a hospital breast pump and pumped every two hours (yes even at night) after breast feeding while someone else fed her formula, drank a special tea prescribed by the consultant, ate extra oatmeal because apparently that helps some people and I still only produced like a max of an ounce a day. My baby lost nearly a pound and anhalf after birth so before instarted formula she was seriously being starved which i feel like **** about.I liked breastfeeding a lot, and I'm of course aware off the landslide of benefits it has over formula. I feel really super sad. My baby's dad lives in Nova Scotia and me in Vermont, and one can only get their 73 year old grandmother up every 2 hours for so long (and this is my last week with her before I go home and am alone all the time). It was not worth all of that work for maybe an ounce a day, though I tried for several weeks. I was told it if quit pumping and just breastfed along with the formula any bit of milk supply would disappear. I understand if I were able to breastfeed I'd have to add 500 cal or so to my intake.

This is an very sensitive subject for me as I feel my body has failed me and caused me to fail my baby. I feel bad buying formula and wondering if people judge it so remember some people physically cant breast feed. I haven't a need of your link. Thanks though.

Not really contributing to your original question other than you should aim to lose fat at a reasonable rate while trying to eat the most calories you can to do so (moderate deficit).....you'll feel so much better over all.

In regard to quoted above, I just wanted to offer my support as my situation was very similar to yours. I am naturally large on top, and my friends joke that you'd think I could "feed a village" lol, but alas, I was not able to produce enough for my daughter. I find that there is so much pressure to breast feed, I didn't even buy formula! My newborn cried for 2 days straight as soon as she was born (realized later that she was starving!). Then after we got home, she became jaundice (she's a December baby) and I was back in the hospital with her for three days so she could be under the incubator. They had me breast feed and supplement with formula. She was taking in DOUBLE what I could provide. As soon as she got a full meal, she slept for hours! They had me on double pumps all damn day, storing what I could get, then add to the formula, then breast feed, then pump again. Needless to say, I was exhausted!!

After going home, I had no choice but to continue supplementing with formula, in addition to renting an electric double pump, taking supplements, drinking that tea, and even a beer per day! I saw the lactation consultant TWICE, and I toughed it out for 6-7 weeks and then said forget it! I gave up and once I did, both my baby and I were much happier.

She got the important stuff in the colestrum(?) I believe, and that's what matters most in my opinion. I will also add this....She is the healthiest kid I know and she is 9 now. My friends' kids who were exclusively breast fed for months and months are always coming down with everything that goes around!

Don't let it be a sore subject for you. It is what it is, and don't let people shame you into thinking that there is only one right way. If I were to ever do it again, I would only pump what I can and add it to formula in a bottle for a couple of weeks. You need to do what is right for YOU and YOUR baby!

Hope you're getting some sleep soon too! LOL

Isn't it quite common for babies to lose weight in the first couple of days? Anyhow, you can't be hard on yourself. Look how hard you tried.

As far as the user blundering into this thread shouting off about what a mother should and shouldn't do for the sake of their baby... well I think I've seen it all now. Heartless.

tayortoeknee wrote: »

I wanted very very much to breastfeed, and tried really hard for 3 or so weeks, but I'm one of the 1% of women who cannot physically produce enough breast milk. I saw a lactation consultant, borrowed a hospital breast pump and pumped every two hours (yes even at night) after breast feeding while someone else fed her formula, drank a special tea prescribed by the consultant, ate extra oatmeal because apparently that helps some people and I still only produced like a max of an ounce a day. My baby lost nearly a pound and anhalf after birth so before instarted formula she was seriously being starved which i feel like **** about.I liked breastfeeding a lot, and I'm of course aware off the landslide of benefits it has over formula. I feel really super sad. My baby's dad lives in Nova Scotia and me in Vermont, and one can only get their 73 year old grandmother up every 2 hours for so long (and this is my last week with her before I go home and am alone all the time). It was not worth all of that work for maybe an ounce a day, though I tried for several weeks. I was told it if quit pumping and just breastfed along with the formula any bit of milk supply would disappear. I understand if I were able to breastfeed I'd have to add 500 cal or so to my intake.

This is an very sensitive subject for me as I feel my body has failed me and caused me to fail my baby. I feel bad buying formula and wondering if people judge it so remember some people physically cant breast feed. I haven't a need of your link. Thanks though.

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DO NOT FEEL BAD! You did what was best for your baby! I am a first time mom with an 11 week old baby boy. My plan was to exclusively breastfeed for a minimum of 6 months. Once I gave birth, my baby refused to breastfeed. I met with lots of nurses and a lactation consultant/IBCLC while still at the hospital. Even with all their help... nothing. Then I met with a lady from Le Leche League. I tried again... even with a nipple shield... and nothing. All I had was a screaming/starving baby that lost about 3 lbs in the first week. I felt horrible and like I was such a bad mother. I would just hold my screaming/starving baby and cry. A week later I gave in and decided to open a can of formula that was sent to me in the mail. My baby couldnt drink it fast enough!!!! The poor thing was starving! I felt bad/sad/angry that I couldn't breastfeed... but I'd rather have a formula fed baby than a starving one. Now that he is on formula... he barely cries, he is much happier and is gaining weight like he should be!
I work in a health care setting that is VERY pro-breastfeeding. I am torn down by my co-workers on a daily basis, because I am giving my child formula. They make me feel like such a horrible mom... but I had to do what is best for me and my child. Screw what other people think! My husband and I were both formula fed babies and we turned out just fine.
Don't let others get to you. You are a great mommy and did what was best for your baby!