difficult dark days.

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neverhappy
neverhappy Posts: 9 Member
in Introduce Yourself
well here i am...43 yr old male and trying to lose weight, my wife of 21 yrs has recently left me and i am at the lowest i have ever been....not eating, sleeping or thinking well...dont feel i have a future and the pain inside is incredible....not even sure why i am posting this...prob cos i feel so alone.......dark dark dark days................

Replies

  • Nicola1944
    Nicola1944 Posts: 348 Member
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    Keep smiling!!!

    How much weight do you want to loose?
  • neverhappy
    neverhappy Posts: 9 Member
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    i have lost 1 stone and looking to lose anther 4...........
  • Kityngirl
    Kityngirl Posts: 14,332 Member
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    They always say it's darkest before the dawn. Sometimes taking control of one small part of your life can make a huge difference in how you feel about everything else. It has worked wonders for me so far. :flowerforyou:
  • Nicola1944
    Nicola1944 Posts: 348 Member
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    Good!! How did you loose a stone? thats really good, thats my mini goal!!

    Don't be down!! Keep smiling and the motivation will help you loose even more.... get to your goal, and show your ex what she's missing!!!
  • fittocycle
    fittocycle Posts: 827 Member
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    I am so sorry to hear about all you are going through. Just remember-it will get better with time.
    While it's tough to maintain your focus on weight loss right now, just remember it is one thing you have control over right now. Everything else might be falling apart, but you can take control of your health. Concentrate on taking care of yourself right now. Do something nice for you!
    Take care and don't give up.
  • neverhappy
    neverhappy Posts: 9 Member
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    thank you all for your kind words...i am 43 but acting like a love struck teen...we met when i was 17 and she was 15 and i dont deserve what i am currently enduring...i appologise for turning this into a my love life problem page...its just that i feel so alone and have no one to talk too....i appreciate the shoulders.
  • jteammom
    jteammom Posts: 173
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    I am so sorry to hear about all you are going through. Just remember-it will get better with time.
    While it's tough to maintain your focus on weight loss right now, just remember it is one thing you have control over right now. Everything else might be falling apart, but you can take control of your health. Concentrate on taking care of yourself right now. Do something nice for you!
    Take care and don't give up.

    Taking care of yourself is the best advice here. There's nothing wrong with feeling sad; you have a lot to be sad about. Just don't let that define who you are. Set yourself a time limit for how long you will allow yourself to grieve over your loss. Then when that time is up, muster up all your strength and move forward. You have a lifetime ahead of you; get ready for it! And wouldn't it be great to start this next stage of your life buff and healthy?
  • JaneZv
    JaneZv Posts: 200
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    Hey, i've just claw my way out of depression (really proud of myself btw :bigsmile: ) and can remember how those dark difficult days felt like. Giving you one of my favorite quotes.. don't do much i know, but hope this will help inspire you. Keep smiling, it gets better ok. :wink:

    “It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get back up." -- Vince Lombardi
  • kripstacoolbeans
    kripstacoolbeans Posts: 8
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    My husband and I split up a couple of years ago, and my divorce was just finalized last week. It's been a ROUGH couple of years, as much as I wanted the split. For a long time, I was a borderline snapshow. But, every day got easier, and I can tell you that the bad days happen less and less often. It takes time. It's grief, and it's work. Let yourself be upset if that's what your body wants, don't try to fight it. Try to eat as balanced as you can, and get sleep. Talk to people. Get walking and moving. Don't be afraid to laugh. Every little thing you accomplish on your own is a victory. I promise you the happy days will come back, and things will be ok.
  • tiffanyb73
    tiffanyb73 Posts: 54
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    That is really one of the hardest things to go thru in life. I've been there...walking,living proof that life does go on and you will make it back to the sunshine. Its hard but not impossible. Take it one day at a time. Use this time to focus on yourself and being a healthier person. =)
  • neverhappy
    neverhappy Posts: 9 Member
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    That is really one of the hardest things to go thru in life. I've been there...walking,living proof that life does go on and you will make it back to the sunshine. Its hard but not impossible. Take it one day at a time. Use this time to focus on yourself and being a healthier person. =)



    thank you
  • neverhappy
    neverhappy Posts: 9 Member
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    My husband and I split up a couple of years ago, and my divorce was just finalized last week. It's been a ROUGH couple of years, as much as I wanted the split. For a long time, I was a borderline snapshow. But, every day got easier, and I can tell you that the bad days happen less and less often. It takes time. It's grief, and it's work. Let yourself be upset if that's what your body wants, don't try to fight it. Try to eat as balanced as you can, and get sleep. Talk to people. Get walking and moving. Don't be afraid to laugh. Every little thing you accomplish on your own is a victory. I promise you the happy days will come back, and things will be ok.


    thank you
  • ShellyKay67
    ShellyKay67 Posts: 489 Member
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    Please hang in there and just take one day at a time.
    things will get better... just learn to take care of yourself.
    you have to look out for you!!!!! you need to be the best you can be for yourself!
    when you do that, other things will eventually fall into place and brighter days are ahead.
    I have been separated 3 1/2 months, and it has had a lot of ups and downs (was married 20 yrs)
    i promise even tho there are bad days, there are also good ones in there and you need to lean on friends and family for support.
    hang in there and take care of you!!
  • jdee1976
    jdee1976 Posts: 2
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    I'm so very very sorry you are going though this tough time, it feel like it wont end etc. You are not alone, and like everyone here has said it does get a tiny bit easier each day.. take baby steps to building the life you want again, makes lists or aims you want to achieve. very slowly and surely it WILL get better. if you feel horrid, then focus on doing a task to try to take your mind off that feeling for even just a few minutes.. then another task etc untill you are no longer thinking of the sadness but looking to the future.. Stay strong
  • superwmn
    superwmn Posts: 936
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    You're not alone. We're all here for you.

    Charmagne

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