Portion Control RE: Unsupportive Spouse

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pandabagpuss
pandabagpuss Posts: 16 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi

Sorry if this isn't on the right board, but I'm looking for some advice on portion control when I share meals with someone else who's not currently watching his weight. He often cooks as he enjoys doing it but it means I have less control over how big portion sizes are. Any advice for me please?

Also, do you have any tips on ways to distract yourself when someone is eating cake/chocolate/biscuits next to you all the time? He knows I'm trying to watch what I eat and I don't think me trying to eat healthily means he shouldn't eat what he enjoys, but I find it hard not to join in!

Finally, any advice on how to increase my fruit/veg intake?

Many thanks

Sally
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Replies

  • CynthiaT60
    CynthiaT60 Posts: 1,280 Member
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    Hi, as far as the first question goes: can he help by telling you exactly what's in the meal so you can decide on your own portion size and log it? That's how we do it. Works great.
    Good luck!
  • Greytfish
    Greytfish Posts: 810
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    You have total control over your portions. Make your own plate and do not get up for seconds.

    RE: The unsupportive spouse eating whatever he likes: talk to him about it and how it makes you feel.

    But and prep veggies. I find grilled red and yellow peppers is a good tasty veg that doesnt require oil or salt and is flavorful and adds flavor mixed with other veggies. Eat your veggies first.
  • indigo827
    indigo827 Posts: 26
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    If he/she aren't force feeding you, then you eat what you want out of the portion you are given.
  • Gingerspice45
    Gingerspice45 Posts: 137 Member
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    I've been eating off of smaller plates to control my portion size more. I know it is hard but you've really got to make the decision you want to lose the weight more than extra food. Find other ways to reward yourself than eating.
  • sevencallmemom
    sevencallmemom Posts: 505 Member
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    My husband was seriously unsupportive at the beginning (now he's just moderately unsupportive LOL)...he would buy my favorite junk/fast foods and try to guilt me into them...tell me I deserve them...pick fights over it. Ugh.

    I finally just had to want health enough to push through his BS. I make all my own food and leave the room (or kick him out of bed) when he's eating junk in front of me and I can't just ignore it. It really does get easier.

    Basically, you have to suck it up and deal. You are worth more than unhealthy eating and you have to own that. You deserve to own that. <3
  • 3laine75
    3laine75 Posts: 3,070 Member
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    It might not be intentional - just eat half, or whatever you feel is appropriate. I'd explain though that it's very nice, just a bit too much as there's nothing worse than someone thinking you didn't enjoy what they prepared for you.

    If you do that a few times they'll probably start cutting down how much they give you.

    Also, if I'm having something that's particularly high calorie I'll either use a side plate or make a massive salad/veg portion to fill up about half of a normal sized plate.

    To kill two birds with one stone have a bit of fruit while they are having something sweet - it'll be annoying at first but you'll get used to it (Nutella with strawberries or apple with peanut butter are nice snacks that don't cause too much damage). :)
  • Greytfish
    Greytfish Posts: 810
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    I finally just had to want health enough to push through his BS. I make all my own food and leave the room (or kick him out of bed) when he's eating junk in front of me and I can't just ignore it. It really does get easier.

    Good for you!
  • lemur_lady
    lemur_lady Posts: 350 Member
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    Hi

    Sorry if this isn't on the right board, but I'm looking for some advice on portion control when I share meals with someone else who's not currently watching his weight. He often cooks as he enjoys doing it but it means I have less control over how big portion sizes are. Any advice for me please?

    Also, do you have any tips on ways to distract yourself when someone is eating cake/chocolate/biscuits next to you all the time? He knows I'm trying to watch what I eat and I don't think me trying to eat healthily means he shouldn't eat what he enjoys, but I find it hard not to join in!

    Finally, any advice on how to increase my fruit/veg intake?

    Many thanks

    Sally

    When my other half cooks for me (which isnt often lol) I ask him to serve up his and then i'll go in the kitchen and weigh up my own serving. I ask him to keep track of what/how much of each ingredient goes into it and log it into the recipe section on my food diary. This way each time he cooks I know roughly how many calories are in each serving.

    I know it can be hard not to join in when other people are tucking in and not watching what they eat. I fell off the wagon for a few weeks over christmas because I couldnt watch other people enjoy in all the yummy christmas food and not have any myself. My other half eats all sorts of junk and doesnt care how much he eats in one go either. When he is doing it I either join in but only have a little bit, but if I feel like I wont be able to restrain myself once I start I think about how much sugar, fat and other junk he is ingesting and what it'll do to the body im trying to get.

    I have found the thing that works best for me is loosely deciding at the beginning of the day what I am going to eat and logging it in to my diary. Then I can see how much I have left for snacks etc. I save my extra cals for the evening as this is when I am most at risk for snacking. This way I get to have some naughty food each day and also stay within my calorie goals. It is also means I dont feel quite so left out or bad if I join in :) It also helps keep my sanity and means I am more likely to stick to my diet.

    In regards to fruit/veg just try to increase a little here and there. Buy more of the fruit and veg you like so you will be more likely to eat it. If there is any you dont really like but think you should eat try preparing it in different ways, its surprising how different things can taste if just prepared slightly differently.

    If your other half likes experimenting in the kitchen could you ask him to try out some different meals, ones which are more healthy? Or find ways of making his existing dishes less calorific i.e not adding so much oil/cheese etc?

    Good luck! :)
  • animatorswearbras
    animatorswearbras Posts: 1,001 Member
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    Hi

    Sorry if this isn't on the right board, but I'm looking for some advice on portion control when I share meals with someone else who's not currently watching his weight. He often cooks as he enjoys doing it but it means I have less control over how big portion sizes are. Any advice for me please?

    Also, do you have any tips on ways to distract yourself when someone is eating cake/chocolate/biscuits next to you all the time? He knows I'm trying to watch what I eat and I don't think me trying to eat healthily means he shouldn't eat what he enjoys, but I find it hard not to join in!

    Finally, any advice on how to increase my fruit/veg intake?

    Many thanks

    Sally

    Hi hun, I think you should have a sit down with your husband and just explain how hard it is and that you need a little bit of help to reach your goals, I know alot of people just say leave half your food, but I don't think I've ever left food on my plate in my life and portion control has to happen before it hits the plate not after for me too.

    So ask him to please cook less and give you half the portion he's having, or if you can help him portion out your food in the kitchen. You can always pad out you're plate with steamed veggies (you can get them frozen in microwave bags for convenience) or a massive bed of salad depending on the meal.

    The thing I asked my husband was could we do no junk in the house, so we don't have crisps, chocolate or biccies in (at least during the working week) because I'm so tempted, and he was happy to make that sacrifice and if he wants junk he'll have it when I'm not there or sometimes just gets stuff at weekends, there's no harm asking, I didn't force anything on my husband I just asked for his help :)

    However if not having junk in is not a possibility, maybe get a bunch of fruit in bananas, grapes, melon to nosh on when he's snacking in front of you also low cal hot chocolate, if he gets a chocolate bar out make yourself a cup of that, the one I have is only 40cals a mug and takes longer to drink than eating a choccie bar. :)
  • healthytanya1
    healthytanya1 Posts: 198 Member
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    I'm in a similar situation. The last couple weeks I have been cooking many of my own meals. My boyfriend cooks for himself and his teenage son. I try to eat either before or after them and not even be around the junk food that they eat. Cuz when I'm around I want a bite or 2 and then that easy I'm over my calories. When I do cook dinner that can please them typically I am the one that can only have few bites cuz its so high in calories. I was once fat so I love the feeling of being full and if I can't have that I at least want my meal to have many bites of food so I can feel satisfied. I do that with lots of fruits and veggies. Stay away from butter, salt, gravy, and high calorie salad dressing.
  • Awesomers
    Awesomers Posts: 144 Member
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    I work an evening shift, so I basically never cook. My fiance cooks whatever he likes and the "healthy stuff" gets cooked when I'm off. I generally will drink a glass of water and then eat a very small portion (or half, if he makes me a plate). He gets offended sometimes, but I just tell him that I'm not very hungry and he gets over it. Probably the best thing would be to tell the truth and try to arrive at a mutual understanding. My man is hard headed, though! :happy:
  • rdeysher
    rdeysher Posts: 22
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    I have a similar issue! My husband used to be a chef so he is a great cook and he makes all of our meals which is great. The only problem is that he thinks that I should eat the same portion of everything as he does even though I am half his size! He also gets a little defensive when I don't finish all that he gives me or I ask for a smaller portion because he says he doesn't think I like it. We have been working on this and he is getting better. Plus he is tracking his calories now too so he is watching himself more now too! It just takes a lot of willpower to stop eating when I am full because the food he cooks is always super good and I could just keep eating and eating! :) Now I try to eat until I am full and pack the rest for my lunch the next day!
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    you need your own plate. a smaller plate. something decorated differently, just for you. maybe even order one with your name on it. you only eat off your own, special plate! if your plate is smaller then he can pile less food onto it. instant portion control.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,268 Member
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    Hi

    Sorry if this isn't on the right board, but I'm looking for some advice on portion control when I share meals with someone else who's not currently watching his weight. He often cooks as he enjoys doing it but it means I have less control over how big portion sizes are. Any advice for me please?

    Also, do you have any tips on ways to distract yourself when someone is eating cake/chocolate/biscuits next to you all the time? He knows I'm trying to watch what I eat and I don't think me trying to eat healthily means he shouldn't eat what he enjoys, but I find it hard not to join in!

    Finally, any advice on how to increase my fruit/veg intake?

    Many thanks

    Sally
    Portion control is totally in your control.

    My husband is not watching his intake nor is he exercising that doesn't make him unsupportive.
    He eats chips and dip, buys me chocoalte (as does my son) that does not make them unsupportive.
    My husband does some of the cooking and makes what he wants that doesn't make him unsupportive.
    When I am lifting my husband comes in and gropes or gooses me...why because I can't stop him with 85lbs over my head...that does not make him unsupportive...perv maybe.

    Your husband living his life does not make him unsupportive, if you want it bad enough and you don't have the calories left to have those chips, cookies and biscuts then don't...or if you want them make sure you have calories left.

    Guess what I eat the chocolate, I have a few chips and dip, I threaten him with 85lbs on his head when he gropes me...

    I still lose weight and lift....

    I find a lot of these posts about "unsupportive" spouses are silly...it comes down to you wanting it or not and using that as an excuse.
  • tiffd1000
    tiffd1000 Posts: 93
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    Put less on your plate is my suggestion. I wouldn't consider your husband unsupportive from what you described here. You are in charge of what goes in your mouth.. you are the one that has to say NO to yourself! My husband eats sweets and enormous amounts of food in front of me often(he eats all the time too bc he is weight training)… I know I cannot have it bc it will hinder my goals. If you don’t like the type of food he cooks than I suggest maybe you starting to cook meals also. ( I cook in my house so I know the meals are usually really healthy)

    As far as increasing your fruits and veggies… try making a blended drink. I like using unsweet vanilla almond milk, big handful of kale(or spinach), one banana, blue berries & PB2 Powder… its good and healthy.
  • sillyvalentine
    sillyvalentine Posts: 460 Member
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    You don't have to eat everything on your plate. Just eat what you think is a reasonable amount and then stop. Or tell him that you will make your own plate.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
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    Hi

    Sorry if this isn't on the right board, but I'm looking for some advice on portion control when I share meals with someone else who's not currently watching his weight. He often cooks as he enjoys doing it but it means I have less control over how big portion sizes are. Any advice for me please?

    Also, do you have any tips on ways to distract yourself when someone is eating cake/chocolate/biscuits next to you all the time? He knows I'm trying to watch what I eat and I don't think me trying to eat healthily means he shouldn't eat what he enjoys, but I find it hard not to join in!

    Finally, any advice on how to increase my fruit/veg intake?

    Many thanks

    Sally

    Communicate, communicate, communicate. Talk about this situation, why he feels you need larger portions. And, as your life partner, why he would not be supportive of your goals.
    You always have control over your own portion sizes. Make your own plate, or if he does, take some back off of it. If he's offended, talk about that too.
    As far as getting more fruits and veggies, eat more of the ones you like, or find new ways to cook them so you're interested in them.
  • Commander_Keen
    Commander_Keen Posts: 1,179 Member
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    portion control when I share meals with someone else
    Don't share. offer to make a plate for that person.
    Also, do you have any tips on ways to distract yourself when someone is eating cake/chocolate/biscuits next to you all the time?
    Walk away. or carrie a small bag (fun size) of M&M with you at all times.
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    Use the push and walk method.

    Push away from the table and walk away.

    lol, but seriously. I understand how hard it is to be influenced by your husband. My trouble is breakfast sausage and bacon. My husband loves to cook this EVERY weekend. It would be better for me to have some greek yogurt and oatmeal. Its hard to resist. You need to muster sheer will power. To help with that make sure you have planned your snacks out well and have them at the ready.

    Good luck.
  • ChristineS_51
    ChristineS_51 Posts: 872 Member
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    Get some scales so you can weigh / cups so you can measure and take the portion you want, and log it. Leftovers - put them in the fridge for another day / or freeze them. My hubby does the cooking and is at times heavy handed with the oil / butter so I have to be careful. Maybe drink water first so you feel fuller. Use a smaller plate as people have suggested. Take small bites and eat slowly. Enjoy what you eat!

    Re the snacking - I have fallen off the wagon over Christmas, but I find having things like raw almonds in their skins, dates, celery with peanut butter (a little)!, rice crackers - these things give that nice mouth feel and fill you up with healthier foods. Dates are good for me if I am seeking chocolate - dense, sweet - almost like chocolate!

    Low calorie jelly, fruit, veggies and dip, if you search 100 calorie snack in the forum you will bring up lots of ideas.

    Communicating to your spouse about how you are trying to make better choices and asking him to support you might help too. Good luck, it can be done!

    Edited for too many typos - it's late here in Australia :laugh:

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