4 days in and already confronted with a cheat dilemma

I need some advice today. I am consistently losing on average 1lb/day this week. I am sticking mostly to diet (under 1600 cals), restricting my carbs and not really focusing on exercise heavily at this point. But my biggest struggle is with going out with friends and drinking. What's worse is I love a good craft beer. Each beer can be several hundred empty (but tasty) calories. Tonight we are going to a bar that serves dozens of incredible craft beers on tap. I'm struggling between saying eff it and having a couple of beers, that I know will lead into having a burger and fries, and will more than likely negate all progress I've made this week - or just sitting at the bar to enjoy the company, drink water, no food and stay on track. Drinking ****ty light beer is NOT an option. Then I'm faced with this dilemma again on Saturday, when some friends and I are going to tour a local brewery. I cant just stop drinking beer because I like it and it's what my friends and I do when we go out, but I also want to get in shape and not keep sabotaging my diet. HELP!
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Replies

  • Lisawalmsley1989
    Lisawalmsley1989 Posts: 4 Member
    Is it a regular? Could you ask the barman to do you a half/quarter pint and get your taste without the quantity? Or if you REALLY want one, tell yourself you have to earn it. You want a 300 cal beer, then go do 300 cal of exercise. If you don't exercise already then it's not like adding to the boredom of more exercise. Could you bike to the pub maybe?
  • alisonlynn1976
    alisonlynn1976 Posts: 929 Member
    I would have the beer but not the burger and fries.

    If you love beer, trying to cut it out completely is not reasonable. Try to fit it into your calorie goals instead.
  • MyFoodGod
    MyFoodGod Posts: 184 Member
    If you got a DWI would you reduce the beer? Sounds like beer and food are too important to you. Nothing we say here is going to change that until you see that yourself.

    Good luck.
  • luvrock93
    luvrock93 Posts: 4 Member
    You want a 300 cal beer, then go do 300 cal of exercise.

    Yes! This!
  • edwardkim85
    edwardkim85 Posts: 438 Member
    You MUST work out and lift weights if you like beer and bar food like me.

    If you choose to cut down calories and just diet without exercise,

    then you MUST give up beer and bar food while you diet and stick to it.

    Simple as that.

    You seem to enjoy going out with friends/drinking beer/eating bar food while watching a good football game every week or often enough.

    If you don't want to give up that life style, you MUST start working out to put on muscle mass so you can burn more kcal.

    Otherwise, even if you lose weight, you will be skinny fat and flabby AND regain all your weight in no time.
  • sillyvalentine
    sillyvalentine Posts: 460 Member
    Don't do it! You have only been on your diet for 4 days. You need to build up some willpower before putting yourself in those situations.

    Have one beer and consider it a generous gift from yourself to yourself. But don't binge and tell yourself that it's okay. Don't try to justify it by saying "it's only once in a while" or "I've been good all week".

    You know you will feel guilty in the morning!
  • I agree--have the beer if it's that enjoyable. The pleasure of having a brew or three with friends shouldn't be part of the price you pay for getting/being fit. I have the same struggle without such refined tastes :)

    Maybe just draw the line at that burger and fries (eat healthy before going out?) and/or going out only on Fridays, or 3x/month, or something else reasonable. It's a compromise with yourself. Good luck!
  • kluvit
    kluvit Posts: 435 Member
    I would recommend logging in advance and adjusting other meals and exercise in order to fit it into you macros. Pre-logging makes you aware of the calorie counts and helps you decide what is "worth" it to you. If you're looking for a lifestyle change, it's great to start managing the balance between living life and meeting/maintaining your goals. In time, you'll find yourself making adjustments, maybe eat half a burger, or only half of the bun, or bison instead of beef, or stop eating fries once they get cold and soft, and cover your plate when you're done to prevent mindless eating, have fewer beers, You'll soon figure out how to work it out without feeling deprived or sabotaging your hard work.

    A very wise friend of mine said, "I won't say I'll NEVER eat french fries again, but I won't eat BAD french fries."
  • I to am d4 days in and faced with a similar dilemia. Dinner at a nice restuarant with a supplier. I like the excercise trade off route. Knowing that you are going out for a couple cold ones is no sin. Get on a treadmill and burn off some calories prior to the big night out. If you decide to go for the burger, make it a turkey burger and swap the fries for a side salad. You can do this man.
  • wrenegade64
    wrenegade64 Posts: 410 Member
    As far as I am concerned, DEPRIVATON = DEVESTATION! Trying to wipe out things you love will likely just tick you off and make you rebel. Reflect on all that you have done for yourself and the accomplishments you have made and simply make some simple alterations.

    You said you aren't too heavy in the exercise at this point. Sounds like if you want to maintain the lifestyle you thoroughly enjoy, you will need to up that some.

    As for the burger and fries, YOU ARE PREACHING TO THE CHOIR BRUTHA MAN!!! I'm all about a kickass burger and fries. If you know you are gonna hang with the crew later, compensate for the extra calories early in the day. Ask for your burger without the bun and ask for a knife and fork. Do you HAVE to have fries? Can you replace them with something else or maybe SHARE your fries with someone in your posse?

    And then there is the beer. OH HELL YEAH!!! When I go out and drink, I alternate. I have them bring me a beer or whatever AND a diet soda or water, that way you have SOME beer, but not ONLY beer.

    I hope this helps dude. YOU GOT THIS!!!
  • farfromthetree
    farfromthetree Posts: 982 Member
    ^Great advice!
  • Snow3y
    Snow3y Posts: 1,412 Member
    I usually tell my mates that it's my new year's resolution to not drink, and I also tell myself that I'm weak and pathetic if I have the drinks/junk food, and I must prove myself to myself by not having it... Feels so great after :)
  • Cindyinpg
    Cindyinpg Posts: 3,902 Member
    I would recommend logging in advance and adjusting other meals and exercise in order to fit it into you macros. Pre-logging makes you aware of the calorie counts and helps you decide what is "worth" it to you. If you're looking for a lifestyle change, it's great to start managing the balance between living life and meeting/maintaining your goals. In time, you'll find yourself making adjustments, maybe eat half a burger, or only half of the bun, or bison instead of beef, or stop eating fries once they get cold and soft, and cover your plate when you're done to prevent mindless eating, have fewer beers, You'll soon figure out how to work it out without feeling deprived or sabotaging your hard work.

    A very wise friend of mine said, "I won't say I'll NEVER eat french fries again, but I won't eat BAD french fries."
    Agreed! If I know I'm going out, I will prelog what I think I will have and adjust for macro/micro and calorie goals. Another strategy is to look at your weekly goals and have a lower calorie day or two, and bank those calories for the days you know you are going to be over.
  • bacitracin
    bacitracin Posts: 921 Member
    Go lift heavy things and run around for a few miles tomorrow. Every bit of progress you make is a bit more than if you had done nothing to change your lifestyle.

    Take your enjoyment where you feel you have to, then get back on the wagon and push harder.
  • Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I KNOW what I SHOULD do. I just need to make the right decision at zero hour.
  • mobilechris
    mobilechris Posts: 4 Member
    Hey man. Remember the movie FIGHT CLUB?

    I must've watched that movie a million times. And although there are a lot more better examples out there as to why you should not go out and have that beer, I can't help but think about that movie and tell you that you should! The moral of the movie in my opinion is- don't get hooked on a idea that things need to be perfect in order for you to get to your goal. 4 days in of straight dieting (with 4lbs lost, correct?) vs. 1 cheat day (with beers and burger and fries with the boys)? Are you kidding me? You're doing amazing so far so why not go out and celebrate! Just do me a favor though, when you go out for a beer and burger with the boys it would probably be best not to talk about dieting (don't talk about fight club. haha) for fear of being ridiculed. Then perhaps the next time you get a cheat day dilemma, maybe you can negotiate with yourself and say "if i choose not to have the beer and burger with the boys tonight, the perhaps I'll have the grand slam breakfast in the morning!

    It's all about making the right decisions, my friend. Good luck
  • i need to break that habit and tell myself its okay to not drink every time I go to a bar with friends.. and also when im ready to allow myself to have a beer once or twice a month so I'm not depriving myself of things I enjoy. it wont always be this hard. I keep telling myself that NOTHING tastes as good as fit feels. Plus I've been wearing tighter shirts and pants as a reminder of that....

    Ultimately, like I said, I KNOW the answer. Get a workout in before hand, eat a salad and drink water .. and just enjoy the company this time. The guys will understand and I wont feel horrible about a bad decision in the morning when the scale goes up. Now, if I do all that and the scale still goes up... that would be devastating!
  • Elsie_Brownraisin
    Elsie_Brownraisin Posts: 786 Member
    Hey man. Remember the movie FIGHT CLUB?

    I must've watched that movie a million times. And although there are a lot more better examples out there as to why you should not go out and have that beer, I can't help but think about that movie and tell you that you should! The moral of the movie in my opinion is- don't get hooked on a idea that things need to be perfect in order for you to get to your goal. 4 days in of straight dieting (with 4lbs lost, correct?) vs. 1 cheat day (with beers and burger and fries with the boys)? Are you kidding me? You're doing amazing so far so why not go out and celebrate! Just do me a favor though, when you go out for a beer and burger with the boys it would probably be best not to talk about dieting (don't talk about fight club. haha) for fear of being ridiculed. Then perhaps the next time you get a cheat day dilemma, maybe you can negotiate with yourself and say "if i choose not to have the beer and burger with the boys tonight, the perhaps I'll have the grand slam breakfast in the morning!

    It's all about making the right decisions, my friend. Good luck

    I agree with the above sentiment.

    I had to cut my booze intake due to a medical condition and yes, it was a bit odd going to the pub and drinking soft drinks whilst my friends drank, but I got used to it. In the UK at least, the alcohol free selection in many places has improved massively in recent years instead of just offering coke or bottles of sludgy fruit juice (J20).

    I envy you with your brewery tour, as long as it's not every weekend, it should be fine. Accepting a maintain or even a lb gain is ok by me, I'm in it for the long term and only weigh once a week. Eat well for the rest of the day and get back on track the day after. Have fun!
  • eldamiano
    eldamiano Posts: 2,667 Member
    Run 50 miles before hand...
  • Swiftdogs
    Swiftdogs Posts: 328 Member
    There's great advice on here already. One beer is fine, and so is a second especially if you sip sparkling water or diet soda in between. There's nothing wrong with a burger and fries, either. But fitting all that in without a big exercise burn ain't gonna happen. Try having a filling meal of lean protein and lots of fiber before going out. You have to find the tradeoffs that work with what you really like and how much you're willing to work.
  • In your shoes, I'd get in a good workout for the day. It sounds like the beer is much more of a draw than the burger and fries, so I would eat before you go out to avoid the temptations of the burger. Then I would go out and enjoy one or two or three beers and log the calories. That might leave me over for the day, but my personal rule for myself is that I can eat anything I want, as long as I track it.

    Then maybe you scale back your calories and get a good workout the next day.

    I can see where you'd want to avoid the cheat when you're only 4 days in; on the other hand, if you're trying to adopt habits that you will keep over the long term, you need to make sure you can still enjoy the things you really enjoy while maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
  • :)
  • You MUST work out and lift weights if you like beer and bar food like me.

    If you choose to cut down calories and just diet without exercise,

    then you MUST give up beer and bar food while you diet and stick to it.

    Simple as that.

    You seem to enjoy going out with friends/drinking beer/eating bar food while watching a good football game every week or often enough.

    If you don't want to give up that life style, you MUST start working out to put on muscle mass so you can burn more kcal.

    Otherwise, even if you lose weight, you will be skinny fat and flabby AND regain all your weight in no time.
  • Yeah, What he said!
  • rem10210
    rem10210 Posts: 40 Member
    I also LOVE craft beer. I budget them into my day/week. I disagree they are "empty", I light beer yes, but there are nutrients in real beer, and you do feel full after drinking them. Just limit yourself to the calories you have budgeted and keep your meal on the light side.
  • ladynocturne
    ladynocturne Posts: 865 Member
    I know how you feel, I'm an IPA girl myself and I love getting local craft beers at the pubs in Cali.

    Lucky for me, I don't have a lot of friends who frequent bars with me, I usually go 3 times a month and it's easy to just save some extra calories + work out and be able to have 400+ calories of beer out.

    Maybe you could let your friends know that you will only go out drinking once per week and that maybe you guys could meet up somewhere else so you aren't as tempted? I know what it's like to make a bad food choice after a few beers, and I'm sure that if you make them know you're concerned about your health, they won't mind.
  • hep26000
    hep26000 Posts: 156 Member
    Have a beer... enjoy it. Try to get in some exercise before though.

    Either split the burger and fries with a friend OR make a couple swaportunities. Veggies and a burger OR a grilled chicken sandwich (with mayo and yummy stuff) and some fries. Just a couple swaps to help will add up to a lot.

    You can tell your buddies what you are going to eat ahead of time and tell them you are not allowed to change it. If they are good friends- they won't give you crap and will help if you start to lose your willpower.
  • I'm agreeing with a lot of people out there (my problem is a good hard cider rather than beer). If you want to do this, have a beer or two (or even more), then you've got to give up something during the day you're doing this or you've got to earn it (I vote for earn it, the long term benefits of exercising is well worth the effort of exercising). Simple as that. If you're not willing to do the work (it's about changing your lifestyle and that does need to include exercise at some point or you'll get to goal but not stay there, unless you happen to be one of the select few that don't go back and gain the weight after reaching goal), then you don't want the goal bad enough.

    I also am in the same boat. I know what I need to do but there have been times in my past that the divide between knowing what I need to do and wanting to do what I need to do is the size of the Grand Canyon. You have to want to do what you know you need to and that could be the biggest hurdle you face in this struggle with weight loss. Wouldn't it be safe to say if you're changing your lifestyle (instead of on a diet) that you don't really have "cheat" days. You have good days where you're on track and bad days when you're not, just like every other person out there (overweight, underweight or ideal weight). And there's always tomorrow to improve on what you did today.
  • no_day_but_2day
    no_day_but_2day Posts: 222 Member
    So, I've been working out like Crazy for a year now. They only time I stopped was a month after my first half marathon because I hurt myself during the race and couldn't hardly walk afterwards. I even worked out during my vacation in Florida with the gym they had on the island. That's nuts! And what do I have to show for it?? Nothing except maybe more endurance. You know what my conclusion is? Because of my drinking. I don't drink during the week.. EVER! I constantly watch what I am eating with MFP and I don't eat my exercise. (So, if I burn 500 calories at cycling I don't give myself that excuse to eat those 500 calories). I also use a heart rate monitor that is attached to my chest to measure my calories so I'm not just guessing. So, this is my conclusion. I do go out on the weekends from time to time. Whether it's for a girls night out, or with my boyfriend and if it's a crazy night, it will consist of lots of bud lights/ bud selects. Then, I feel like crap the next day and usually eat whatever I have in my house, or I make it a point to get Chinese food. This is usually only on a Saturday night to Sunday day when this happens. Therefore, all because of drinking on that 1 day a week with the added calories from the crappy food from feeling like crap, I have lost NOTHING but maybe a pound or two that keeps fluctuating. It makes me feel like all that hard work, the time on my freaking vacation that I used to workout instead of sleep in, was a total waste of time. So, here is goes. I had a friend come in town from Chicago last Friday and last Saturday was the beginning of no drinking for two months. This means I will no longer be drinking those extra calories, and this means no more crazy cheat days with Chinese food or whatever. I have made my "diet" a way of life, but sometimes, a good burger is what my body craves and I will not give that up. But, I have been told if you crave it, then wait until it's the end of the week and only eat it for one meal and be smart about it. If I want that burger, I will eat it with half the bun and no fries, etc etc.
    Sorry for venting, but since I was in the same boat, I wanted to give my input. Also, I know everyone's body is different so you may have better luck, but I would try and just cut out how much you drink since you won't give up the taste aspect of the beer. I am still going to go out with my friends, I won't give that up. I just will drinking soda water on the rocks to get me through! :)

    Good Luck,:smile:
    Rachel B.
  • My biggest factor is CHANGING my way of thinking. I've decided (on my 40th birthday a couple weeks ago), that I need to be okay with being single and to start living for me, rather than looking for someone to "complete" me or being a victim of my environment. Making these decisions in the moment; living for today - not worrying about tomorrow or yesterday. I'm never going to give up drinking good beer, but I've already changed from going out (or buying a six-pack) every night. I've made the effort to pack my breakfast and lunch so I make healthy food choices during the workday. Because of these changes, I've been happier, healthier and I've already dropped more than 15 lbs since Christmas.

    But I have to militantly regimented in order to be consistent but I also have to understand that one night out is not going to ruin it all. I shouldnt pour the entire gallon on the floor if I spill a little milk. But that is my struggle. I am an "all or nothing" guy. It's black or its white. There is no gray in my life. Right now, if I eat right and stick to my calories, 9 days out of 10 I will see the scale go down. That is a HUGE motivation for me because I have started and stopped several diets last year. I get discouraged quickly and if I am strict but the scale doesnt move in the morning, then I say eff it and have a beer or 12 and eat a whole pizza.

    So the bottom line is, I really cant allow myself to give in so soon... and definitely not twice in one week. I agree with substituting a "cheat" with more exercise or less calories elsewhere in the day, but for me, its not about staying under calories, its about avoiding the dependency of alcohol, specifically when I'm out with my crew. Its about breaking that habit that I have to drink when I go to a bar. Its about rewarding myself further down the road when I have reached my goals. Its about slowly introducing the foods and drinks I enjoy when I can make accommodations for it. Its about repairing my metabolism and achieving better fitness. This is all more important than any craft beer.

    Thanks to everyone who responded - because you've helped me put this into perspective. I say this now and of course the true test will be when I'm standing at the bar in front of all those taps. Will I choose to drink water or will I have 1 beer? If I have a beer will I stop at 1 or will I have 2, or 3, or 4? Right now, I dont want to have the beer or the burger and fries... but peer-pressure and force of habit is a hard thing to break. Guess I'll know what my testicular fortitude is come 6pm this evening.