Fat friend ?

PrincessDanii
PrincessDanii Posts: 7
in Introduce Yourself
I'm tired if being the fat friend with the big arms , big clothes and and everything else "big" I might not even be that "big" but because I surround my self with smaller friends I'll never know ( until I lose weight) does anyone else feel the anger , annoyance and insecurity of being that fat friend

Replies

  • trn4hungergames
    trn4hungergames Posts: 7 Member
    Of coures there are so many people that feel that way!

    But, the important question is: do THEY make you feel like the "fat friend" and put you down or make mean comments? If so, they aren't your friends, they aren't supportive, and they are NOT worth your time.

    Judging by your photo, you are beautiful, and I am sure you have so much more to offer than your pant size.

    I used to be angry and hate going out because it didn't matter how much I dressed up or did my hair, I was still the big one. But, I've realized I'm great the way that I am. I am strong, healthy, funny, and smart and if someone can't handle that with a side of curves, then they can move on.

    Learn to love yourself the way you are and be secure in not just your beauty (because you ARE beautiful) but your skills and mind!!! Insecurities are not fixed by a few pounds lost--- they are righted when you are confident!
  • skinnybythanksgiving
    skinnybythanksgiving Posts: 159 Member
    Well I sure did! But then I tracked my food on here, started exercising most days and suddenly realized I not only wasn't the "fat friend" anymore but was actually the skinny friend now.

    Try focusing on positive things. You are gorgeous! You are going to be trimmer and healthier next month. :flowerforyou:
  • shellsies93
    shellsies93 Posts: 88
    Its annoying!! My friends never made me feel that way but i felt that way because i knew thats what everyone around me was thinking. I know this is horrible to say but i secretley loved it when they all started to gain weight after highschool!! i was still bigger than them but they weren't tiny anymore. After i started losing weight i actually stopped caring and thinking that way because i felt amazing. I feel healthier then ever and most of my friends can't say the same! I know i'm not skinny but i'm bettering myself. I'm trying to work on the whole positivity thing! :)

    Good Luck Girlie!
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    I was also the fat/ugly friend. But I went to my high school reunion two years ago, and some of those women have gained a LOT of weight while I've lost. So yeah. Karma is a b#tch. :)
  • mmommymusings
    mmommymusings Posts: 18 Member
    I missed my 20 year high school reunion and looking at the photos all the uber skinny pretty girls are now bigger than me :tongue:
  • adwilson14
    adwilson14 Posts: 1
    I may not necessarily be "the fat friend" but I have always been big. At my thinnest, I was a size 11, I have a thick frame, I am 5' 10" people call me amazon, I envy girls with twig frames, but then again, no one's ever tried to attack me, so there are advantages...... I feel the pressure to be thinner so I don't look so big, it helps that I have a supportive husband that loves me just the way I am, but you get to a point in your life when you decide enough is enough. I strive not to necessarily be lighter or weigh less, but to be and strong. Strong is the new skinny.......:tongue:
  • 1ZenGirl
    1ZenGirl Posts: 432 Member
    My BFF is a super petite goddess who drops jaws wherever she goes. Going places with her has at times had me dig deep down to find confidence I don't always have.

    Interestingly enough, I've learned a lot about myself in this process. I use it as a motivator for me to get where I am going. I'm lucky enough to have her as my BFF and wouldn't trade her or our friendship for the world.
  • Aberesford22754
    Aberesford22754 Posts: 6
    Hi, I know how you feel, am the fat member of my family. However, it's not going to be long before that changes for both of us. Good luck and keep going :-)
  • shelisa619
    shelisa619 Posts: 11 Member
    I was always the skinny friend. Until I gained like 60 lbs due to health reasons. Now I'm trying to get back to that. :s
  • maddiok
    maddiok Posts: 4 Member
    I was the "bigger" friend who everyone always thought it was so funny to tell me "wow, the camera really DOES add ten pounds!" and "wow, you sure plowed through that food!" :(
  • xxjolandexx
    xxjolandexx Posts: 24
    I am the "FAT FRIEND" in my group! when i look at pictures past and present I've always been the bigger girl and its funny how you don't realise till it matters I.E. photos of nights out, holidays and special occasions. I've had enough. It stops now. I'm bridesmaid next year for a friend i consider to be my sister with a few of our other girlfriends, I'm' on a mission to lose enough weight so that i can fit in and just be one of the girls instead of being labelled the fat one! So annoying how people lie to you as well. Noooo you're not fat don't be silly, it's like they're trying to keep you in that insecure state because maybe, just maybe you'd be hotter than them if the weight came off...... just a thought.
    Make it happen, life's too short to be stuck in the background :-)
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    wow i always thought it wa a myth that girls spend so much time comparing themselves to their friends. i've never dont that and to my knowledge neither has any of my good friends.

    with that said, i agree with the person who said if they are treating you like the "fat friend" then they suck and you need to drop them. but if this is just a matter of you projecting your insecurities then you'd be better served getting some self confidence /self esteem now because if you dont have that, regardless of your weight you're going to feel less than.

    there will always be someone prettier, smarter, fitter, richer, funnier, etc than you. any resentment you feel about that is going to have less to do with you not being pretty, smart, fit, etc and more with how you feel about yourself.
  • morethanthis0
    morethanthis0 Posts: 260 Member
    yup! totally understand your pain. I'm also tall so when im around short and skinny girls I feel like an ogre! cant wait to be thin! Lol
  • Wednesdayfridayaddams
    Wednesdayfridayaddams Posts: 2
    All the time, and I hate when they act like we're the same size, yes my size 16 butt can totally fit into your size 2 pants! :noway:

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